r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Reading this one, my eyebrows kept rising and rising with each sentence (starting with the age gap in the title) until I hit the spoilered word and went "well, of course".

AITAH for telling my (23F) husband (23M) that I don�t want to have the same gender roles in our marriage as his parents (48F, 67M)?

quote:

Some backstory: My husband �James� (23M) and I (23F) are newlyweds. I adore James, and am so happy to be his wife. James and I dated all throughout college, but both of us went to school far from our hometowns, so it took me a while to get to know his parents (48F, 67M) well. They are very sweet people.

As you may have noticed, there is a large age gap between my MIL and FIL. Long story short, they got married when she was 21 and he was 40 after dating for a few years. I know, not great. But not the point of this story. For the first 14 or so years of their marriage, my MIL stayed home taking care of James and his 3 younger siblings, while FIL worked as a pastor. About 10 years ago, MIL took a job as schoolteacher and started working very long hours (about 70-80/week during the school year). She still does this to this day.

Having reeled her in and locked her up, James proceeded to tell his newlywed wife what his new, revised vision of their married life together would be: she'd quit her job and be a stay-at-home mother/baby factory while he would become the sole breadwinner and head of household. Weirdly, OP (who makes more money than her husband and is on track for a much more lucrative career than him) was blindsided and didn't take it all that well, and is asking reddit for advice.

Fairly typical story, I just wanted to share my LOL at the age-gap groomer FIL being a pastor, and having that be a minor, tossed-off detail.

e: Oh boy, someone looked up OP's post history and found this unrelated gem about her dreamboat new husband.

quote:

He said that he has more student loans than he originally thought - significantly more. His monthly payments will actually be almost $800/month (for both his federal and private loans combined). He also has been accruing interest on his private loans during the forbearance period - despite telling me that he was not. I asked him how he could�ve possibly not known about this, considering that he took out these loans each year and used them to pay for each upcoming semester? He maintained that it was a mistake, until I told him that I wasn�t stupid, and knew that he had lied to me. We both started crying, and eventually he admitted that yes, he had lied to me about the amount of his loans for months.

Those red warning lights are flashing so brightly you might need to apply sunscreen, girl. Run, don't walk, to the nearest lawyer's office and start the process for getting an annulment.

FMguru fucked around with this message at 21:45 on Sep 21, 2023

# ? Sep 21, 2023 21:29

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# ? May 28, 2024 09:43

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

BOOTY-ADE posted:

I have a few CDs & video games 20+ years old plus a Gremlins Gizmo toy that's almost 40. Def don't keep clothes though, my fat rear end wouldn't even fit into anything from pre-COVID let alone 25 years back

I was only thinking or clothes but if you include CDs I for sure have some from high school. Its been a trip listening to Offspring CDs in my car and realizing I still remember the lyrics from songs I haven't heard in 20 years.

Its also interesting to see what music I've grown out of. I threw away a Mindless Self Indulgence Cd and Grreen Day greatest hits CD because I wasn't into them anymore. Also a System of a Down CD.

# ? Sep 21, 2023 21:31

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

The only thing I remember about the best wedding I've ever been to is that I drank all the gin and kept forgetting so I kept having to order tonic & lime instead. Open bar yet I was like $200 short the next day. God bless that bartender, I hope they used their windfall for something fun. "ONCE AGAIN WE ARE OUT OF GIN" "oops sorry here's 20 for a lime and tonic."

# ? Sep 21, 2023 21:35

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

FMguru posted:

Fairly typical story, I just wanted to share my LOL at the age-gap groomer FIL being a pastor, and having that be a minor, tossed-off detail.

I was guessing cop , but that's even more on-point in this case.

# ? Sep 21, 2023 21:35

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Obnoxipus posted:

rear end in a top hat/not judgments aside, I think if you compare your current relationship to those characters, you should definitely be in couples therapy. Love the books, just putting that out there.

Yyyyuuuuup. Especially given that one or both of you is dead.

# ? Sep 21, 2023 21:37

ToxicFrog: Apr 26, 2008

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for thinking my girlfriend is weird for reading porn during breakfast?

For the record, I was very aware of my girlfriend's interest in fandom as we connected over our love for the ship griddlehark from the book series The Locked Tomb.

It's not always porn but I still get jealous that she is reading about two women who don't exist when she has someone with flesh and bones right near and ignoring her.

Maybe the problem is too much flesh, not enough bones. INFO: is your girlfriend a ~~cat~~ necromancer?

Obnoxipus posted:

rear end in a top hat/not judgments aside, I think if you compare your current relationship to those characters, you should definitely be in couples therapy. Love the books, just putting that out there.

Also this, drat.

# ? Sep 21, 2023 21:57

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Khanstant posted:

Anyone having issues with zed needs to like, watch some TV or maybe go online where foreigners are sometimes

Read/watch enough foreign stuff and you end up performing a terrible mash of cultural pronunciations/word usage/spelling and then nothing matters anymore. Become cultural confusion!

Doesn't help much in school when you're doing spelling and you've got the non-American U everywhere though.

# ? Sep 21, 2023 22:57

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

vonnegutt posted:

Uhh, maybe I'm reading it differently to you but it sounds like the SIL is escaping the brother's abuse, specifically financial and probably more than that given the SIL's parents' response of "oh god don't tell anyone in brother's family where she is". If that's the case she's absolutely not the rear end in a top hat in any sense - escaping and building enough of a life to come get her children later on is probably her own valid option.

Even if you're a SAHM you should have access to enough money to not starve. The fact that this woman doesn't have access to enough funds to even be able to consult a divorce lawyer means the brother is controlling af and basically keeping her with him against her will.

A SAHM filing for divorce will often get the court to make the Goes To Work Dad pay for independent divorce lawyers for both sides. And I don't think the divorce court will make her pay child support when she didn't have a job with which to earn child support.

# ? Sep 21, 2023 23:05

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Here's a completely loving useless manager.

AITA for asking an employee to swap time off with another employee who has kids?

quote:

I (40f) am the controller at a medium size company. I love my job and have two staff accountants (31f and 34f)and an accounting assistant(23f) I manage. The accounting assistant is amazing. She picks up on everything quick, she�s the sweetest, a very hard worker. However, she is a full time employee and has caused a bunch of trouble in my department.

She is young and has a few pet gerbils but no kids or a spouse. She negotiated 100 hours of PTO and 10 remote days to get her to take her current position because we were despate so she transferred over. We don�t allow for more than 1 person in the accounting department to be on vacation or out of office at a time. The accounting assistant is constantly on vacations. She went to Europe for 2 weeks and worked remotely for 4 days, on a road trip and worked remotely a day and used PTO, she was on bereavement leave because her brother passed, went to Egypt for a week and worked remotely a couple days, now she wants to book a week off for a roadtrip with some remote time, and a week off next year for a vacation in Ireland. A staff accountant asked a week ago for the same week she is on her next road trip off to take her kids on vacation and has already booked the arrangements. I denied the request and told her that I would talk to the assistant about switching her road-trip. The assistant said that she booked the week off first and would like to go on her road trip that week. It feels to me like she is just doing that to make everyone frustrated and is quite childish. I told her that she would need to tell the accountant. This happened with the same accountant who tried to book time off to see her mother while the assistant had already booked the time off to go to Egypt. I practically had to beg her let the accountant have her time off.

Additionally, I�ve received complaint of this assistant talking about her vacations and trips and it makes the accountants feel like she is bragging. The assistant takes a lot of weekend trips and goes to concerts and when the accountants ask how her weekend was she�ll say �good, I went to this or this concert� or say �it was ok, I went to this place to hike � it doesn�t feel like bragging to me but I told her to keep her weekend escapades to herself.

This morning I was talked to by my boss saying that the assistant wrote an email to her about everything that happened and I was written up for it. The email said that the assistant is happy to just come to work and work and not talk about her life but that she is confused because others ask her about her life and that she is following the handbook and just enjoying her benefits with asking for PTO and that she is feeling singled out because she doesn�t have kids and that makes her plans less valuable.

AITA here?

Please come work for us, we are desperate to have you, we'll give you extra PTO. Whoa whoa whoa - who do you think you are, actually using that extra PTO.

Rare justice in that the OP got written up for being so poo poo at his job.

# ? Sep 21, 2023 23:18

Busters: Jan 24, 2014

There's more well written, high quality fiction on /r/relationships than in any writing related subreddit

# ? Sep 21, 2023 23:26

Funktastic: Jul 23, 2013

I do like mentioning 100 hours of pto like that�s that remarkable. I get more vacation time than that as a retail manager.

# ? Sep 21, 2023 23:33

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Funktastic posted:

I do like mentioning 100 hours of pto like that’s that remarkable. I get more vacation time than that as a retail manager.

100 hours is what, like 12.5 days?

# ? Sep 21, 2023 23:36

Gawr Gooner: Mar 3, 2023

How do you take so much vacation with only 12.5 days of PTO though? Am I bad at managing my time?

# ? Sep 21, 2023 23:38

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

MagusofStars posted:

Love when "friends" suggest things that you know drat well they'd never do themselves; none of them would pre-emptively divorce their spouse.

Reminds me of the thread classic where a friend group convinced the first woman in the friends group who got married to do all sorts of stupid controlling poo poo...then when they got married themselves, did exactly none of that to their own husbands because turns out they they were basically using her as a test case.

From a good few pages back but can someone link this post for my entertainment please?

# ? Sep 21, 2023 23:39

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

I think the assistant managed to wangle 100 additional hours of PTO per year, on top of whatever miserly amount the company usually offers. Good for her!

# ? Sep 21, 2023 23:41

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I'm trying to think of loving anything I have from twenty-five years ago.

Two shirts and a letter jacket from high school, only reason they're in such good condition is that for fifteen years I was too fat to wear them but sentimental value.

# ? Sep 21, 2023 23:45

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Midnight Voyager posted:

Read/watch enough foreign stuff and you end up performing a terrible mash of cultural pronunciations/word usage/spelling and then nothing matters anymore. Become cultural confusion!

Doesn't help much in school when you're doing spelling and you've got the non-American U everywhere though.

I pointed out "colour" as a mistake in a textbook in 4th grade and my teacher said that's just how they spell it in other countries and was allowed so I spelled it that way from them on. Without the u it just sounds like an Orc's name or something. Ko'Lorr

# ? Sep 21, 2023 23:47

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

trickybiscuits posted:

Another good one, Ask Amy

If an adult parent is willing to admit they crossed the line multiple times in their own words that means they have likely "crossed the line" hundreds of times and the specific cases they are referring to are the kinds of things the state removes children from their parents for.

# ? Sep 21, 2023 23:50

Crocobile: Dec 2, 2006

Wow imagine what a wretch the person who complained about the assistant to OP is.

:qq:

�I keep asking her about her weekends to be polite and she keeps using that as an excuse to talk about all the fun stuff she�s doing on the weekends!! Boss, make her stop!!�

# ? Sep 22, 2023 00:00

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

FMguru posted:

Here's a completely loving useless manager.

AITA for asking an employee to swap time off with another employee who has kids?

Please come work for us, we are desperate to have you, we'll give you extra PTO. Whoa whoa whoa - who do you think you are, actually using that extra PTO.

Rare justice in that the OP got written up for being so poo poo at his job.

"his job" OP described themself as 40F

# ? Sep 22, 2023 00:12

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

"his job" OP described themself as 40F

Yes he is 40 Fahrenheit, very cold

# ? Sep 22, 2023 00:14

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for telling my daughter I am not paying for a destination wedding?

quote:

My daughter is getting married, and she wishes to have a destination wedding and told her no. My wife feels I should do it because we can afford it, but I find it to be a pointless showing of wealth. Now my daughter is not talking to me, nor is my wife. Which got me thinking should I bite the bullet and essentially burn money, and alienate family members to make my daughter's dream wedding a reality?

Edit: Forgot to mention she wants to get married in NZ, we also are from NY.

Edit: Forgot to mention she is currently asking for around 200k. This is not counting what guests would have to pay to come.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 00:38

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

quote:

Dear Amy: A new neighbor moved in. I left a welcome gift on their porch, like I do for everyone who moves in.

He got our number from a neighborhood directory and texted us a few times, inviting us to visit. My husband and I went to their house, and our children (ages 13 and 11) stayed home. Upon entering, the husband said: �Let�s get the awkward part over and hug.� Hugs came in our direction, and we gave them both a hug.

During dinner he mentioned wanting to use our pool. After more texts from him, we invited them over on a Sunday evening. The husband immediately went in to hug my son. My son gave him an uncomfortable side hug. My older son put out his hand for a handshake. The neighbor said, �Oh, a handshake, huh?� I never thought they�d come in expecting to hug our children!

A few weeks later he texted, asking my son to feed their dog while they were away. Our son had never been to their house before. We weren�t comfortable sending him by himself because of the hugging.

The neighbor seemed surprised I was with my son. He came in to hug me, and I offered a side squeeze and my son stuck his hand out for a handshake. Again, the neighbor commented that my son shook his hand instead of hugging him. I was proud of my son. And glad I didn�t send him alone.

While we were there, he asked my son for his cellphone number. I piped up: �You can call our landline number to ask our son to feed your dog.� He seemed surprised that I didn�t readily give him my son�s cell. I keep telling myself that these neighbors are just trying too hard, but we feel uncomfortable.

How can I be a kind neighbor but create space? My husband and I are jokingly telling each other we are ready to move. We would love to hear your thoughts, even if you feel I�m wrong.

JFC, this is why I don't communicate with anyone in my neighborhood unless we run into each other walking our dogs. Even then it's a quick hi, how's it going. I dread this type of overly-friendly won't-leave-you-alone neighbor nightmare.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:08

Pomme de Terror: Sep 30, 2021; Well, one of us must have killed him!

Good parent time

AITA for not backing down on my daughter�s teachers calling her the proper name?

quote:

My daughter, Alexandra (14F), hates any shortened version of her name. This has gone on since she was about 10. The family respects it and she�s pretty good about advocating for herself should someone call her Lexi, Alex, etc. She also hates when people get her name wrong and just wants to be called Alexandra.

She took Spanish in middle school. The teacher wanted to call all students by the Spanish version of their name (provided there was one). So, she tried to call Alexandra, Alejandra. Alexandra corrected her and the teacher respected it. She had the same teacher all 3 years of middle school, so it wasn�t an issue.

Now, she�s in high school and is still taking Spanish. Once again, the new teacher announced if a student had a Spanish version of their name, she�d call them that. So, she called Alexandra, Alejandra. Alexandra corrected her but the teacher ignored her. My daughter came home upset after the second week. I am not the type of mom to write emails, but I felt I had to in this case.

If matters, this teacher is not Hispanic herself, so this isn�t a pronunciation issue. Her argument is if these kids ever went to a Spanish speaking country, they�d be called by that name. I found this excuse a little weak as the middle school Spanish teacher actually was Hispanic who had come here from a Spanish speaking country and she respected Alexandra�s wishes.

The teacher tried to dig her heels in, but I said if it wasn�t that big a deal in her eyes that she calls her Alejandra, why is it such a big deal to just call her Alexandra? Eventually, she gave in. Alexandra confirmed that her teacher is calling her by her proper name.

My husband feels I blew this out of proportion and Alexandra could�ve sucked it up for a year (the school has 3 different Spanish teachers, so odds are she could get another one her sophomore year).

AITA?

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:17

selec: Sep 6, 2003

When I was in high school Spanish we all picked either a Spanish name or the Spanish version of our existing name. HMMMMMM.

Edit: thinking back it was probably part of a whole pedagogical method. Our teacher never spoke English in class until the last five minutes for housekeeping stuff, and we all had to only speak Spanish and use our Spanish names.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:30

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Khanstant posted:

Lol that being or attending any wedding that wasn't their own be an important memory to anyone 25 years later.

But it's my wedding! MINE! And I'm the main character!

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:39

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Do people normally translate names outside of lovely dubs? It's not a word, it's your name.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:41

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

i don't think it's a thing outside of language classes, no

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:43

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

No. Alejandra and Alexandra are two different names. The teacher is just being a shitheel.
E: lol they aren't even the Spanish teacher themselves. Double-gently caress off with that, you power tripping fuckwaffle.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:45

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Pomme de Terror posted:

Good parent time

AITA for not backing down on my daughter’s teachers calling her the proper name?

I grew up in Puerto Rico. I had a classmate through most of grade school named Alexandra. Nobody ever called her Alejandra. It's a name. Just call people what they want to be called.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:47

TaurusTorus: Mar 27, 2010; Grab the bullshit by the horns

In my high school Spanish everyone got to pick a Spanish name. Every single boy picked �Nacho�, so that ended that experiment.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:51

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Yyyyuuuuup. Especially given that one or both of you is dead.

Tbf this would be less of an obstacle here than in most relationships

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:52

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

I love* when dubs do that. El Santo is now Samson, English speakers just could not fathom a guy being called El Santo.

That example is even a pair of Spanish words you could translate, but nah, Samson, "The Saint" isn't a name.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:52

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for not letting my kids play with my dolls?

quote:

I (37F) collect Monster High dolls. I know a lot of people think it�s childish, but they just bring me so much joy. I have about 45, 10 of which are in box. Most of them are generation 3, which means they are easy to find and pretty cheap. I have 16 out of box generation 1 dolls, which have varied in price from $30 to $100.

My husband (40m) has always been very supportive of my collection. For my birthday, he bought me a $50 doll, which I love dearly. I have two kids (9f and 7f) who love to play with toys. I�ve always made sure to tell them that my dolls are off limits, and of course they have their own toys. I keep my dolls in mine and my husbands room, which he doesn�t mind. I had to go into the office for work today, so I left my kids home with my husband. I got home to a bunch of my dolls in the wrong spots, their hair was messed up, missing accessories like earrings and bracelets, etc.

I started yelling at my husband asking him why he would let them into our room. He said it wasn�t a big deal and the kids really wanted to play with them. I told him that if it wasn�t a big deal, he could help me pay to replace the accessories. He got mad and said that I was overreacting and they were just dolls.

AITA for getting mad at him? Was I overreacting?

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:56

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Midnight Voyager posted:

I love* when dubs do that. El Santo is now Samson, English speakers just could not fathom a guy being called El Santo.

That example is even a pair of Spanish words you could translate, but nah, Samson, "The Saint" isn't a name.

Leslie Charteris would disagree! I realize I'm old, but there's a series of novels and a couple of TV series built around a character called "The Saint".

# ? Sep 22, 2023 01:58

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

TaurusTorus posted:

In my high school Spanish everyone got to pick a Spanish name. Every single boy picked “Nacho”, so that ended that experiment.

Oh, were they all named Ignacio?

# ? Sep 22, 2023 02:12

coronatae: Oct 14, 2012

TaurusTorus posted:

In my high school Spanish everyone got to pick a Spanish name. Every single boy picked �Nacho�, so that ended that experiment.

Our teacher had to put her foot down over a girl insisting she wanted to be called "Jorge"

I'd grown up with a darling grandfather Jorge so the implications of the pronounciation of the name were lost on me for a bit :sigh:

# ? Sep 22, 2023 02:35

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

One year the teacher said there couldn�t be repeat Spanish names for some reason. So most people obviously picked the Spanish version of their name, but if you were the second Mike in class or something you couldn�t be Miguel and had to pick something else. I still have no idea why that was the policy.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 02:40

Donkringel: Apr 22, 2008

Pirate Radar posted:

One year the teacher said there couldn’t be repeat Spanish names for some reason. So most people obviously picked the Spanish version of their name, but if you were the second Mike in class or something you couldn’t be Miguel and had to pick something else. I still have no idea why that was the policy.

My class had the same. I wanted to be called Rubio, but the kid before me picked it. So I chose Sergio as a backup.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 03:22

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# ? May 28, 2024 09:43

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I'm trying to think of loving anything I have from twenty-five years ago.

I have my first diary, a Lisa Frank diary that my mom got me for Christmas 1994, but I would not still have it if it were blank & tailored to my body.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 03:27

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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