Happy Landfill posted:

an Aaliyah rock album would have loving slapped. Had no idea she almost collabed with Reznor

The people suggesting Beyonce had something to do with her death is making me

Alaois posted:

Beyonce was at the airfield

fun hater posted:

back, and to the left, to the left

Platystemon posted:

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

I look at you all
See the love there that's sleeping
While my vulva gently weeps

Zetsubou-san posted:

*the most epic Prince solo*

By popular demand posted:

Zetsubou-san posted:

*the most epic Prince Albert solo*

FTFY

ZadeRamses posted:

Today I’m going to discuss with you a theory that 100% of you have never heard before.

First off, the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has the most advanced artificial intelligence (AI) software known to man, and they use this AI to create propaganda, misdirection, and misinformation in our society to confuse and suppress us. However, this isn’t all they use the AI for. They also use it to administer an examination that has been going on for decades, The Alpha Omega Interdimensional Examination.

This exam is designed to detect the Creator of the Universe in human form, as outlandish as that seems at this moment. This exam is embedded within our daily lives and meticulously interwoven into the fabric of our society. Every human on this planet has been a part of this exam since birth, and I can assure you, the AI system the CIA utilizes to monitor all of us within this exam is capable of synthesizing and analyzing every action you have ever taken in your life. Do you ever feel like you are being observed? Do you often experience synchronicity? Do you feel like your thoughts are being listened to? That’s because they are. The AI system records everything we have ever done, including every moral dilemma we have ever faced, simply to detect the Creator of the Universe returning in human form.

Now, let me get your attention if you can last a few moments longer. Do you ever wonder why the gifted and talented education (GATE) program was created and propagated throughout most school systems in the United States? At our youngest age, the CIA uses this AI to detect “special” children that may have the potential to be the Creator. Look at the most common characteristics of children who are admitted into the gifted and talented program. From my limited understanding, the “Creator” must exhibit the majority of these, and once again, you also must exhibit most of these traits to be accepted into the gifted and talented program.

-First born sons
-Tendency to experience synchronicity
-Blue eyes (hazel seems equally common)
-Occipital Bun (aka math bump on the back of skull = Neanderthal trait)
-Birth complications (like weeks early or not breathing)
-Near Death Experience (particularly drowning)
-Lack of memory or GATE (we all did many many hours there and it’s all very vague)
-Windows were covered in all GATE classrooms
-Tendency to be followed (abductions and general tracking too)
-Law enforcement being extremely lenient and easy during chance encounters
-High IQs
-Highly intuitive and sensitive children
-Interest in /x/ phenomenon
-Heavy early twenties drug experimentation period
-Israeli art student girlfriend (not even joking)
-Premonitions/prophetic dreams
-Above average intuition

Does this list resonate with you? Then please keep reading.
For decades this covert project has been underway, and every individual on Earth has been unknowingly participating in this interdimensional examination. Throughout your life and throughout the life of children accepted into the gifted and talented program, the AI which is owned by the CIA and oversees this exam since our birth, has recorded and evaluated every action, decision, and interaction you have made to build a comprehensive profile of everyone’s character, resilience, empathy, and problem-solving capabilities. More importantly, this comprehensive profile is designed to determine the potential that you are the Creator, as ludicrous as this may seem.

Now, why is it called an interdimensional examination? Because the Alpha Omega Exam encompasses the 3rd, 4th, and 5th dimensions. In the 3rd dimension (our current reality), it presents challenges to measure your ability to overcome adversity and exhibit moral fortitude. For example, how do you act on this forum? Do you run around anonymously cutting others down and shaming them? Or do you behave with respect and try to learn as much from others as possible? Know that the CIA can and does read your comments, your inner thoughts, and knows your deepest desires. Once again, nobody is exempt from this test unless your behavior in our society, such as on this forum, gets you excluded from it. In short, if you behave like a jerk, the CIA will stop analyzing you and considering you as a part of this exam, because it is highly unlikely that the Creator would return and behave that way.

So how do you access the 4th dimensional part of the exam? Very carefully. You see, the CIA has put substances and “drugs” in our world for a reason. Certain substances can transport your mind to places that you simply cannot fathom or comprehend without the aid of these substances. So what substances are involved in the Alpha Omega Interdimensional Examination? Psychedelics. The notion is that if the Creator does return and the CIA actively has the technology to read and analyze our thoughts, they want this Creator (and everyone in the exam) to partake in certain, relatively safe psychedelics to determine which one of us truly has cosmic thoughts as the Creator would, if that makes sense.

To sum up the information I know, the test consists of psilocybin, lysergic acid diethylamide, and dimethyltryptamine. Psilocybin opens a gateway between our dimension (the 3rd) and the 4th dimension. Lysergic acid diethylamide is not necessarily a gateway, but it allows you to fully experience the 4th dimension. And lastly, dimethyltryptamine will allow you to experience the 5th dimension. What is another reason the CIA wants its brightest children to grow up and partake in these psychedelic experiences? Because you need to realize that although physical aliens likely do not exist, interdimensional beings do.

They want the participants of this exam to use these methods to visit the 4th and 5th dimensions because they want to see that not only are you capable of communicating with interdimensional beings, but also if interdimensional beings find you worthy of communication. If the Creator does return, that person will clearly be worthy of interdimensional communication and the CIA with their mind-reading technology will be able to observe these experiences in the psychedelic realm. Within the boundless expanse of the 4th and 5th dimensions, the Alpha Omega Exam will essentially take you on a personal journey of introspection. You will confront your deepest fears, scrutinize your moral compass, and make choices that resonate across multiple dimensions.

Now, we have the list above for what it takes to be a major candidate in this exam when you are a child, but what will the winner of this exam look like? After some digging, I have found the CIA document that lists this. Here are the characteristics that the winner of the Alpha Omega Interdimensional Examination will possess.


The Characteristics of the Creator:

Cosmic Consciousness: The entity must display profound awareness and understanding of the universe, surpassing the capabilities of any known natural entity.

Omnipresence: The entity must prove that they exist simultaneously across multiple points in space, suggesting a transcendent nature.

Energy Manipulation: The entity must emit an energy field of unprecedented magnitude, demonstrating control over fundamental forces of the cosmos.

Order and Design: The patterns and structures observed within the entity must indicate a deliberate creation, consistent with intelligent design theories and world religions.

Cosmic Consciousness: The entity must display profound awareness and understanding of the universe, surpassing the capabilities of any known natural entity.

Omnipresence: The entity must prove that they exist simultaneously across multiple points in space, suggesting a transcendent nature.

Energy Manipulation: The entity must emit an energy field of unprecedented magnitude, demonstrating control over fundamental forces of the cosmos.

Order and Design: The patterns and structures observed within the entity must indicate a deliberate creation, consistent with intelligent design theories and world religions.

(USER WAS AUTOBANNED FOR THIS POST)

EorayMel posted:

The Alpha Omega Interdimensional Examination: Part 1

Splicer posted:

*loud flashing noise* Hi Splicer it's you from the future, we need to kill the president.
Past me: Prove you're me. What's my current email password.
Future me: gently caress off I'm not telling you that
Past me: *cocks shotgun* let's roll

freeedr posted:

One time I caught a Cooper’s hawk with my bare hands



_{unfortunately it was because it was injured. fortunately there is a bird rescue here and they posted a video of it flying away freely one month later}

Dopilsya posted:

I don't have any cool bird pics to share, but as a lurker welcome back. There's a reason the PYF community you helped build stays wholesome and I've been appreciating fresh perspectives in the A/T religion thread so as long as it's healthy for you as the olds say

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

This bird has been my profile pic on my work Outlook for the last 4 years:


Because I'm literally (named after) a bird

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

This bird has been my profile pic on my work Outlook for the last 4 years:


Because I'm literally (named after) a bird

Blue Footed Booby posted:

Do you have the source on this? I remember it being good for a chuckle but not what it was.

Milo and POTUS posted:

Big deal I've been eating the bait food for traps for years and nobody has caught me, let alone poked me in the stomach

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

This bird has been my profile pic on my work Outlook for the last 4 years:


Because I'm literally (named after) a bird

El Spamo posted:

The word for beer in Hungarian (we were in the Hungarian speaking region of Romania) is sor (pronounced "shur") and a way to say 'yes' in english is to say 'sure' to a question.
So we're sitting on the patio with the grill going and I'd finished my beer and the one guy pulls a beer out of the cooler and points it at me and says "Sor?" I wanted another beer so I replied "Sure!" We then both blinked and then started laughing as we realized that we completely misunderstood each other but still ended up landing on the conclusion that I would like another beer.

What he said and heard was "Beer?" and I replied "Beer!"
What I heard and said was "Sure?" (I was and am not a heavy drinker so I thought he was looking out for me to not get too sloshed) and I replied "Sure!" because I was doing good and wanted another beer.

Romania is a cool place.

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

Fishstick posted:

https://i.imgur.com/mJcdAa5.mp4

HelloIAmYourHeart posted:

Ragdoll physics.

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

https://twitter.com/MolEcol_Darwin/status/1190177867612557313?t=k6zVB7gJuwURBsf8xktaQw&s=19

Milo and POTUS posted:

Big deal I've been eating the bait food for traps for years and nobody has caught me, let alone poked me in the stomach

I brought my Drake posted:

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

funny quote

wholesome

Second Hand Meat Mouth posted:

why do you think they call it el nino

.random posted:

Presuming it’s because their keyboard doesn’t have an ñ, OP

Foober posted:

gently caress you lowtax go suck a dick I hate this loving website

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

EorayMel posted:

Sassamaban.

Inceltown posted:

Inceltown posted:

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Set that person free, they spoke truth!

Foober posted:

Asian women are much less assertive than white women and white male nerds in particular are very attracted to that because they were unsuccessful in dealing with white women because they can't control white women because white women are more like an individual so for example case in point is Lowtax, this website's inventor, he is a nerd and married to an Asian woman. At walking parks here in the Bay Area California where there are lots of white male nerds and lots of Asians, the walking park provides numerous white-nerdy-looking-male/subservient-asian-female couples for viewing and snickering about.
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Absurd Alhazred posted:

That whole thread is something.

Carthag Tuek posted:

nice to see some of the old differnt types of "banned" avatar. you can walk down memory lane with a bunch of weirdos and freaks

Milo and POTUS posted:

yeah... if you have archives!

Kenning posted:

My dude homers odyssey 37 had to autoban 4 times before it finally stuck lmao