|
Outrail posted:Lol gently caress you Settle down!
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 16:14
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 3, 2024 13:59 |
|
|
any time i cant relax due to the weight of the world bearing down on my shoulders i just listen to that song from zoolander https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjFjJmv03ec
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 16:23
|
|
|
ben shapino posted:Settle down! 
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 16:47
|
|
|
Outrail posted:This is kind of like telling a depressed person to just stop being sad, just stop being unhappy. I mean I'm also depressed but yeah. Yes, I should switch off but I don't have an off switch. That's what's contributed to my success but its also what's driving me to an unhappy early grave. I'm trying to relax but trying ready hard to relax is counterproductive. You gotta either find a new job, new line of work, or work on developing skills to insulate your mental well being from the ups and downs of your job. Actually, do that last part regardless of whether you find a new job because it's necessary everywhere. For my job I talk to people every day about their workplace grievances. All forms of harassment, stressors, terminations, discrimination, injustices etc. So I get it, a lot of jobs drive people crazy. A lot of poo poo is out of your control and always will be, and the more you identify with your job, the program, etc, the crazier and more miserable the ups and downs will make you. You need to intentionally cultivate that distance or "on/off" switch. Some people have it naturally, but it can be learned. You may want to look into mindfulness meditation. Just my 2 cents from constantly talking to people who feel like their job has ruined their lives.
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 16:54
|
|
|
Yeah, I know. Already booked to see a therapist
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 17:07
|
|
|
blatman posted:any time i cant relax due to the weight of the world bearing down on my shoulders i just listen to that song from zoolander It wasn't until I clicked play that I first thought 'wait, this isn't the Frankie Goes to Hollywood song, is it? No, it can't be. Surely not. Oh... oh nooooooo  '.
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 19:38
|
|
|
Outrail posted:This is kind of like telling a depressed person to just stop being sad, just stop being unhappy. I mean I'm also depressed but yeah. Yes, I should switch off but I don't have an off switch. That's what's contributed to my success but its also what's driving me to an unhappy early grave. I'm trying to relax but trying ready hard to relax is counterproductive. Imma try and help you even if I don't know you nor your situation, and that's really hard/dumb, so apologies if I go off target. No one will appreciate you more than you do, and no one will fight your fight harder than you do, so take the time you need to appreciate yourself and your fight. You need to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on your child, insert appropriate metaphors as necessary. I'm posting this because I recognize myself in what you post, and I believe I've found a way to live with my nose above the waterline. PM me or feel free to go on here if you want me to post more.
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 20:26
|
|
|
I'll doublepost. There's always a loving disaster. Fight it. That's the right thing to do. If it blows up, don't die with it. There's another mission at the end of the day.
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 20:29
|
|
|
Karate Bastard posted:I'm posting this because I recognize myself in what you post, and I believe I've found a way to live with my nose above the waterline. PM me or feel free to go on here if you want me to post more. Thanks mate, appreciated. I might take you upon that
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 20:34
|
|
|
Outrail posted:This is kind of like telling a depressed person to just stop being sad, just stop being unhappy. I mean I'm also depressed but yeah. Yes, I should switch off but I don't have an off switch. That's what's contributed to my success but its also what's driving me to an unhappy early grave. I'm trying to relax but trying ready hard to relax is counterproductive.
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 20:46
|
|
|
Read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a gently caress.
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 20:53
|
|
|
Splicer posted:Take a course or pick up a new, hard to master video game. If you don't have an off switch then you relax by rerouting all that energy to something low stress and actually achievable. Instead of funneling it into an insatiable black hole of other people's incompetence. The second I achieve even basic competency at something it just becomes boring. Low stress and achievable bores the poo poo out of me, I'm probably broken. I took up hunting. Chasing deer alone in a bleak dark mountainous hellscape crawling with grizzlies isn't really low stress or achievable half the time but sometimes it gets my mind off things. I'll stop posting now
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 21:00
|
|
|
Outrail, I vibe with your energy. I took lose interest in anything I'm good at. Which puts me in the vicious loop of being a bored smart kid in math class, but as an adult. Get drugs. Took me a while to find the right poo poo but lemme tell you how Wellbutrin has made it so I'm still a depressed broken dude, but the worst of the bleakness is held at bay but it has also become much easier to go "lmao gently caress it".
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 22:04
|
|
|
Outrail posted:The second I achieve even basic competency at something it just becomes boring. Low stress and achievable bores the poo poo out of me, I'm probably broken. Goddamn mate. It seems you are made for more. Sometimes more is not what's desired where you are, so look for outs. Finding outs is easier if you're ok, so take whatever's offered to make you "ok", then look for whatever makes you feel better. Outs may take a bit to find, so be prepared to take a while "underperforming" until you find a way to "perform" the way you want to. "Scare quotes" above because that's how it feels. I don't think that feeling ever gets any better, but rest assured everyone else feels the same, unless they're some kind of idiot, so roll with it buddy, and raise a pint to KB next time you get a chance, and I'll raise a pint to Outrail if I'm ever around sone dipshits worth raising a pint with 
|
|
#
?
Oct 1, 2023 22:32
|
|
|
Thanks guys, appreciated.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 00:54
|
|
|
Ravus Ursus posted:Get drugs. Took me a while to find the right poo poo but lemme tell you how Wellbutrin has made it so I'm still a depressed broken dude, but the worst of the bleakness is held at bay but it has also become much easier to go "lmao gently caress it". Seconding this. A therapist is good for actually talking through your poo poo. A psychiatrist is for briefly describing your problems, how your mood is, and then prescribing you something that may or may not help, and which may be a band aid or may be a long term solution. Either way, it's very possible that it could help more than just therapy. I enjoy actually having a therapist to talk things through things with, but I also like not spiraling into existential dread from dropping a fork. E: and also, for validation, I can understand entirely why you are more anxious about this whole thing than most people here are willing to think you should be. But, This Place Will Fall Into Ruin Without Me is a bad place to be, regardless of how true it is. Volmarias fucked around with this message at 04:25 on Oct 2, 2023 |
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 04:18
|
|
|
My favorite kind of meeting is one where "I'm working with Azuth0667 to improve this process" gets said only for them to never reach out and for the process to remain painful for everyone involved. It normally is only a pain for a few load-bearing employees, but those people fortunately found better jobs. Now it's a problem for executives, and they're desperate for a fix because otherwise, they'd have to actually do some work. I was tempted to just fix it, but one of my good coworkers begged me not to since things bursting into flames is the only way we get a chance at change for the better. The funny part is that it was never a problem for me because a mySQL database with some scripts has automated this process for me.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 10:14
|
|
|
Outrail posted:E: So ignore me if I'm wildly misreading your situation, but I kind of want to highlight this because I've seen it in coworkers more than once: You may very well not be as irreplaceable and critical to the day to day operations of your job as you think you are. That might land a bit rough at first, but believe me it is a good thing. I've known a fair few people who wrecked their health - both physical and mental - trying to take on everything in their office because they'd convinced themselves that they were the load bearing support for the entire org. People who skipped vacations, worked unpaid OT, and generally martyred themselves to an organization that, when they finally ended up burning out (and in one case dying) . . . continued ticking on just fine. Not only is it not worth killing yourself for your job, you may very well not even be holding things together the way you think you are. Which is all to say, clearly your org means a lot to you, but if you dial it back I'm willing to bet the roof won't fall in.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 14:14
|
|
|
VictualSquid posted:Hot new interview question: "describe your ideal boss" Me
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 16:31
|
|
|
Outrail posted:If you can just stop giving a poo poo about something at the drop of a hat good for you, but that's not how all humans work. I can talk that talk all day, but actually walk it? It takes me concerted effort to reach that point. So I recommend starting that effort now.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 16:55
|
|
|
Outrail, while I get your point, I will counter with: you also can't continue to care at this level and sustain yourself, it is making you literally sick. So sick that you've been forced to take two months off, against your will, by your team that sees you crumbling. That's too much caring about work, friend. That's self-destructive levels of caring about work. If you don't stop, you're heading towards working yourself to death in some manner. But you won't be able to just magically stop pouring so much of yourself into your work on your own. I really hope you take this time to find a good therapist who can help you get to the core of this and untangle it.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 17:01
|
|
|
I’m glad I got whatever the opposite of the workaholic gene is. It’s not that I don’t do good work I just do as little as possible to meet minimum standards for not getting whined at. I might not become rich but get to spend time with my family that my dad didn’t and still doesn’t do.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 17:21
|
|
|
A manager I work not for but with has been working massive amounts of overtime because we've designed systems to hinge on him alone and he is crumbling under the workload and is clearly burnt out and it's frankly becoming a safety hazard for his employees. But he also seems to think that's just what Being A Manager Is and over identifies with the overwork so taking it away from him is taken as a threat. I wish I could force this guy to take a vacation. Personally, our culture is such that I am VERY protective of my 8 hour day and generally fight back when asked to go beyond that - but within those 8 hours? I am constantly over stepping my bounds to lead decision making that should be coming from way up the hierarchy, because noone around here understands basic ideas like cause and effect. I totally get things feeling too important to let slide. I can't bear to watch a train wreck. Esp bc were a non profit and disadvantaged people will be failed if we don't get our poo poo together Killingyouguy! fucked around with this message at 17:51 on Oct 2, 2023 |
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 17:46
|
|
|
Forcing him to take a vacation is a good idea but give him a weeks notice. If you tell him he's now on immediate vacation without warning on a random day of the week he may actually lose his mind.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 17:50
|
|
|
Alas, I'm a lowest-rung employee, I don't have even close to that kind of authority
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 17:54
|
|
|
very interesting blend of levels of employment here i'll just say it like i always tell my people, never work for free, vacation is part of your compensation, sick time is part of your compensation and if you work over 8 hours a day you better be getting paid for it or getting cut in on profits. so just go do that (and ignore what I do)
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 17:58
|
|
|
I wish I qualified for overtime pay 😭 our HR has decided anyone who touches computer is IT and IT is a 24/7 oncall role and therefore can't get overtime. I'm not in IT. I'm just a dev.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:02
|
|
|
StrangersInTheNight posted:Outrail, while I get your point, I will counter with: you also can't continue to care at this level and sustain yourself, it is making you literally sick. So sick that you've been forced to take two months off, against your will, by your team that sees you crumbling. One of the hard things to do is let stuff go when the people you spend eight hours a day around treat every little thing like if it isn't resolved their entire family will be murdered. Eventually you start thinking that YOUR family will be kidnapped and murdered if the Market Feedback Analysis numbers are too low. Therapy can help with this in that you learn about managing expectations as some people just take too much of this personally, but if you are genuinely a single point of failure or are the only person in your org able to handle certain tasks it becomes near impossible to not get concerned with every email that comes in. Being unplugged from the whole apparatus of work worries is hard for a couple days and then eases as time goes on. That's only if you are totally unplugged and aren't getting updates or requests from people you work with. Any reminder of work is going to gently caress your day. I almost want to tell Outrail to just forget this thread exists for the next bit and do their own thing, but that feels gatekeepy.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:02
|
|
|
Invalid Validation posted:I’m glad I got whatever the opposite of the workaholic gene is. It’s not that I don’t do good work I just do as little as possible to meet minimum standards for not getting whined at. I might not become rich but get to spend time with my family that my dad didn’t and still doesn’t do. My interpretation of my job is that I need to do the least amount of work possible to satisfy my job requirements, and I take a long view of that. So sometimes I'll work more than I normally would to head off a train wreck in the future because dealing with that train wreck, which would not have been my fault, would take more time than making sure it never happens in the first place. It also buys social credit I can use to continue to coast.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:05
|
|
|
Load bearing employees should step back and let their shithouse employers burn down.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:06
|
|
|
Killingyouguy! posted:I wish I qualified for overtime pay 😭 our HR has decided anyone who touches computer is IT and IT is a 24/7 oncall role and therefore can't get overtime. if you arent making like over 100k thats not correct in a lot of cases.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:07
|
|
|
Killingyouguy! posted:I wish I qualified for overtime pay 😭 our HR has decided anyone who touches computer is IT and IT is a 24/7 oncall role and therefore can't get overtime. So you're getting paid commensurate with whatever your industry standard is for 24/7 on call availability, right?
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:09
|
|
|
Killingyouguy! posted:I wish I qualified for overtime pay 😭 our HR has decided anyone who touches computer is IT and IT is a 24/7 oncall role and therefore can't get overtime. Yeahhhhhhh that's not right and I would imagine incredibly wrong, actually
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:11
|
|
|
and in many cases completely illegal full text per DOL if you are US based. https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/17e-overtime-computer#:~:text=However%2C%20Section%2013 TehRedWheelbarrow fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Oct 2, 2023 |
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:13
|
|
|
I'd be looking into your state labor laws, you may very likely have grounds for a complaint and all sorts of back wages.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:14
|
|
|
Cyrano4747 posted:So you're getting paid commensurate with whatever your industry standard is for 24/7 on call availability, right? I'm not even getting paid commensurate to the industry standard for a 9-5 dev. Non profit employees get paid in good karma
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:14
|
|
|
hope that karma counts towards your expenses or you get one hell of a repeated serotonin hit from what you do
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:18
|
|
|
TehRedWheelbarrow posted:if you arent making like over 100k thats not correct in a lot of cases. Jokes on you, that 100k carve out is only for administrators, not computer touchers or computer tellers (programmers). At present, anyone who makes more than the princely sum of $35k while computer touching is salary exempt.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:20
|
|
|
.... what? you wont even get me out of bed in the morning for that holy gently caress.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:23
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 3, 2024 13:59 |
|
|
That isn't even part time side job money for the kind of work it is. Jesus.
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2023 18:26
|
|