John Wick of Dogs posted:

Yeah for our pregnancy we both thought knowing was going to be more trouble than it was worth and being annoyance from family members and friends like projecting a whole person onto the baby so we just told them we wanted it to be a surprise.

John Wick of Dogs posted:

Yeah for our pregnancy we both thought knowing was going to be more trouble than it was worth and being annoyance from family members and friends like projecting a whole person onto the baby so we just told them we wanted it to be a surprise.

Evil Willow posted:

I'm amazed this one hasn't been removed for breaking the "no violence" rule!

AITA for demanding compensation from my son because my grandson had injured me?

DrManiac posted:

loving lol. Imagine being 78 and absolutely torching your relationship with your son and grandson for $1000. I hope those two ps5s make your deathbed more comfortable.

QuarkJets posted:

It's nice knowing, so you can start planning on a name. You don't have to tell anyone else. I wouldn't pay for a special gender scan, that seems like a waste of time

snergle posted:

i look like my dad but im super pale. all of my siblings look like my mom and are also super pale. when ever my dad was pissed he would scream about how how my mom and her kids are haunting the house. its super hosed up but its a memory that always makes me laugh.

haveblue posted:

"Fine, dad, here's your $1000. Take good care of it, I'll inherit it back soon"

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my son he either has to sell his car or move out.

I can't imagine the insurance price just from the speeding.

quote:

He says that he was just a little over the limit and that it is a first offense and that I'm being unreasonable.

Baron Zephyrus posted:

Naturally, being told that the church would refuse to ever marry us was taken as a blessing in disguise.

Cowslips Warren posted:

Man, I wish I could find large pieces of canvas just thrown out, I can't imagine the dirty pour I would make with that.

boofhead posted:

behind every tyrant is a bureaucracy of enablers

quote:

The question My husband has been unemployed for two years and I feel like he’s fading away. He’s proved himself to be good at what he does in most aspects of his chosen field. He’s worked at a senior level (CEO, partner, etc) but he struggles with relating to people and, because of that, he’s eventually been let go from every job he’s had. He’s never had a leaving card. He’s an intelligent, experienced and educated man (PhD level). He can make a great first impression, yet he doesn’t know how to navigate the complexities of relationships and that keeps being his downfall.

At home I take the lead in parenting, managing wider family relationships and friendships, and running a home and a social life. He will help if I ask, but he leaves all thinking and decisions to me. Our life is like a ship with him on the deck and me occasionally able to come out of the engine room into the sun. It’s lonely and exhausting.

He has signed up with job agencies and now he’s just waiting for the phone to ring.

I fear when our son flies the nest, I’ll really feel how alone I am. I have my own career, which is going well, but I worry I’ll leave him dormant and feeling unloved if I focus on myself too much.

We’re OK financially, but without the structure of his career I’m left with a man who’s directionless and depressed, and I don’t know how to stop that from happening. We are best friends – I think the children within us connect over a shared experience of surviving trauma and growing up too fast. I’m trying to accept him as he is, but I also want to drag him down to the engine room and tell him to steer the ship, so I can come up on the deck and soak up some sun.

Philippa’s answer Behind every great man is a great woman, as the saying goes, but behind every woman who isn’t reaching her full potential is a man who needs too much work and attention.

He sounds as if he has never put himself in anyone else’s shoes. What I mean is, he can understand life, and probably maths, from his point of view only. He never imagines what it is like to be you, or his colleagues, and so, because he never looks at any situation from anyone else’s viewpoint, he appears selfish to others. He probably can’t help it. It could be that he is on the autistic spectrum. He may be extremely talented, but people skills aren’t his strong point. It is usual for executives of his calibre and position to be headhunted or find work through their existing network of contacts, built up over decades of being in the workplace, rather than to rely solely on recruitment agencies.

He sounds as if he has never put himself in anyone else’s shoes, it could be that he is on the autistic spectrum
It appears that you are doing all the emotional and the practical maintenance work of the family, which means you have less time for concentrating on yourself. Because he can’t think of how you see and experience the world and your lives together, from your point of view, it will mean a lot of the time you are likely to be lonely. You are his best friend, but is he really yours? I suppose his job situation is feeling a bit like the last straw. You may have been able to tolerate a lot more when he was out at work.

I wonder if he could be persuaded to be tested for autism and then he would know what type of help he needs to get him back to work and to have a better marriage. Even if he isn’t autistic, seeing a clinical psychologist would be a good idea.

You hinted that you both come from chaotic childhoods. It could be by his avoiding doing any of the emotional work in any relationship he is circumventing retriggering himself from aspects of relationships he found traumatising when he was growing up. If he were to face his childhood demons in therapy, it may help him see how he is sabotaging himself. Defensive behaviours we develop to survive childhood often become self-defeating behaviour in adult life.

It is never too late to use therapy to unpack everything we’ve been told, or told to ourselves, and only put back what we need. It is hard work, but as he is not working now and you don’t have financial worries, it would be a good opportunity for him to do the work he really needs to do. But this, of course, would mean you extending yourself once more to look after him by suggesting this, rather than concentrating on yourself.

trickybiscuits posted:

Here's another good line:

quote:

Hello everyone! Been a couple of days since this happened and I need a new perspective (sorry in advance if I make any grammar mistakes since English is not my first language).

So my GF (F26) and I (M29) decided that we are going to play tennis one day.

Little background is that I played tennis few times back when I was at collage and she never did, so it would be her first time playing this sports.

I would say both of us are athletic, she often runs or does cycling and I play basketball and football regularly.

In the past we did play basketball together, but I guess that was not a fair matchup in her eyes so one day she decided that tennis will be perfect sport for her to beat me. Bear in mind that she didn't know the rules or ever watched the sport.

So we made a bet that looser is paying for a dinner afterwards.

Everything was explained to her and we booked one hour on a tennis court.

At first when we started playing we were just passing the ball to each other without following the rules and then she wanted to play for the points.

And we are at the point where the fuckup begins. She struggled very much, to be fair, nothing was going for her. She couldn't return any balls, serve was non existent etc, you get the point.

As we were in the middle of the game 5-10 min in she asked for a break and to stop playing in points and go back to just passing the ball which I refused because I thought that is going to be a perfect lesson to not be so smug. After 10ish more min the game was over and I beat her 6:0.

And then we went back to just passing the ball but you could see that she was upset about it and didn't make an effort anymore.

When we were done, we went to have a dinner at this place where we haven't been before, so I was looking around the place and being tired of playing I guess didn't really contributed to the conversation at the beginning so that made her not to talk to me.

She was upset at me for beating her and then that I haven't talked enough afterwards.

So I wonder AITA for beating my GF in tennis?

Redditor posted:

INFO. Who suggested the bet?

OP posted:

I think I suggested it when she was bragging that she is going to beat me to one of our friends.

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for beating my GF in a tennis match

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for beating my GF in a tennis match





Sorry honey, I'm just kinda too tired to feel like talking after all that work putting you in your place

Human Tornada posted:

I wish I had the kind of confidence that allows you to preemptively boast about beating an experienced tennis player despite having never held a racket in your life.

quote:

My husband Alex was previously married with his late wife, Lana for 16 years. They had three kid Jeremy(14M), Nora(12F) and Luke(3M). Lana died when Luke was 5 months old. I met Alex a few months after Lana's death, we got married January of this year. From the start I loved his children like mine. I always wanted children and I was so overjoyed when I suddenly got to be a stepmom. I love each of these children so so much. None of them calls me mom but I wish they did. Alex doesn't want me to "erase Lana" or "take her place". I always respected Lana and her memories. Sometimes Luke calls me mom and I love it but if he does that infront of Alex, he corrects Luke and shows Lana's photo that that's his mom,not me . I told him it's way too confusing for a 3 year old. He basically doesn't remember his "actual mom" and only knew me since he was 10 months old. I understand Lana was/is his love of life and I can't ever replace her but it seems little too much.

Alex and I talked about kids and he told me he doesn't want one with me now. So I was fine with it, I'm still young and we can wait. But last week I found out I am pregnant. I was on birth control so I was really confused I took one more test and it was also positive. I thought Alex would be ultimately fine with it even if he gets disappointed at first. He got angry at me and counted if I actually took pills as I'm supposed to, made me take one more test. He asked me if I'll get an abortion and I said no. He didn't say anything more. He's been so distant from me . I'm having to sleep in the guest room because I can't sleep in the same room with someone who acts annoyed at my presence. We haven't talked much since last week. He told me either I'll get an abortion now or he will get a vasectomy soon . I think he's already booking a vasectomy date. I'm feeling like an outsider in "our" family.

trickybiscuits posted:

You can sometimes find huge canvases in the art section of secondhand stores and just gesso over them. You probably already knew that, but I like secondhand shopping.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Isn’t part of the point of making partner/CEO that you’ve more or less “won” and don’t need to play that game anymore?

Cowslips Warren posted:

Husband wants me to get an abortion because he thinks I'll not love my stepkids anymore

Human Tornada posted:

I wish I had the kind of confidence that allows you to preemptively boast about beating an experienced tennis player despite having never held a racket in your life.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Isn’t part of the point of making partner/CEO that you’ve more or less “won” and don’t need to play that game anymore? She says money isn’t a problem, let him keep a few board seats warm and find some hobbies that hopefully aren’t too harmful to society.

Cowslips Warren posted:

Husband wants me to get an abortion because he thinks I'll not love my stepkids anymore

My husband Alex was previously married with his late wife, Lana for 16 years. They had three kid Jeremy(14M), Nora(12F) and Luke(3M). Lana died when Luke was 5 months old.

Alex and I talked about kids and he told me he doesn't want one with me now. So I was fine with it, I'm still young and we can wait

quote:

Edit: I'm 23, he's 38. I was away and I saw some notifications with this question. Initially I didn't say the ages because it doesn't matter to me,we're adults.

Cerekk posted:

Solenna posted:

I was concerned about math so I looked for the post.

quote:

I F(27) recently started working with James (20). It is very obvious that James has a crush on me - and he has told me that himself numerous times.

I have to work with James because of our respective jobs (his department needs my department). So, each time he confessed his feelings for me, I simply brushed it off saying things like “you know I don’t like younger men,” “perhaps you should look at women closer to your age range,” and “James, can you please stop? I just want to do my work.” Each time he has ignored me.

If I don’t respond to him instantly, he gets very annoyed and will send a passive-aggressive email copying all of our supervisors. Something along the lines of “Hi OP, any update on this? I know you’re busy servicing others, but please don’t forget me. It’s urgent.”

This has been going on since May.

Three of my coworkers came to see me 2 weeks ago and told me that I need to speak to him about his behavior because it is getting worse - to the point where he sits in my cubicle and waits for me to come back if I’m not there.

I didn’t want to talk to him about it at first because he’s young, this is his first corporate job, and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but they convinced me to.

So, I decided to have a serious talk with him last week but he avoided me. Every time I saw him in my office space, I’d ask him to sit with me so we can have a serious talk, but he shrug it off and said he’s busy.

I left it alone.

Yesterday, we both worked and the office is usually clear on a Saturday. He came up to my cubicle while I was eating and sat next to me. He had his lunch and juice in his hand. I politely asked him to come back another time as I don’t like people watching me when I’m eating. He said “it’s just me though, don’t worry” and sat down anyway. He opened his food and he started eating.

I got annoyed and just started to take a big gulp of water. Half way through my drinking, he takes the water bottle from my mouth, covers it and throws it in the bin. He then said “that’s enough water. Are you ready to talk?”

I got so angry I just picked up his food and slammed it in the bin face down. I then told him to get the hell away from me.

He told me that I’m overreacting but left anyway.

This morning I got a call from my supervisor telling me that I have a meeting with HR tomorrow to discuss what happened.

I told my other coworkers about it and they all think that I should have just went to HR and not stoop to his level - and that throwing his food away was different from him throwing my water away - making me an AH.

Cerekk posted:

Cloacamazing! posted:

Also people get obsessed with things. People will talk about their obsessions with people who don't care. That's a part of life unless you browbeat your autistic kid into never talking about anything they're interested ever again. My husband is the first person in my life to just let me ramble about stuff without judging me, and it means so much to me. With my family it's always "Stop talking about your stuff, we don't care, this is weird and nobody could possibly like it, now let's talk about the stuff we care about for hours."

Cerekk posted:

haveblue posted:

Challenge her to a charity marathon match and line up rich backers. If I play conservatively I can stay awake long enough for her to get tired enough to double fault

It just says I have to take a point, a score of 80,000 to 1 should still count

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for taking food my coworker was eating and throwing it in the bin?

Only since May? Oh well that's fine.

Jesus gently caress HR should have been her first visit.

Haschel Cedricson posted:

The problem is she knows that she's so much better that she doesn't have to be aggressive with her second serve, so her double fault rate is going to be much, much lower than when she plays against other professional players.

haveblue posted:

Yeah I’m imagining this happens after, say, 72 hours of continuous play

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for taking food my coworker was eating and throwing it in the bin?

Only since May? Oh well that's fine.

Jesus gently caress HR should have been her first visit.

Evil Willow posted:

I 28M told my fiance 25F that our wedding won’t be like her coworker’s. Now she won’t speak to me.