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I would like to see someone try the tennis equivalent of button mashing against Serena, which is to say, that person is having a full body dry heave and randomly hits the ball.
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Oct 2, 2023 17:07
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I feel like there's a Looney Tunes cartoon in a pro athlete trying to beat a total novice and more ridiculous poo poo keeps happening every time that leads to the novice winning
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Oct 2, 2023 17:08
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In video games sometimes the novice can win when you wouldn't expect because they don't know how strategies and meta are supposed to work and zig when the expert predicts that a fellow expert would zag. But that only works for a moment, and doesn't translate to real sports where you have to do coordinated whole-body movements
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Oct 2, 2023 17:13
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Maybe they'll accidentally twist a muscle in a way that unlocks enlightenment, allowing them to be possessed by the spirit of the prince of tennis.
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Oct 2, 2023 17:20
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ApplesandOranges posted:Maybe they'll accidentally twist a muscle in a way that unlocks enlightenment, allowing them to be possessed by the spirit of the prince of tennis. Love stephen chow movies
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Oct 2, 2023 17:23
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haveblue posted:In video games sometimes the novice can win when you wouldn't expect because they don't know how strategies and meta are supposed to work and zig when the expert predicts that a fellow expert would zag. But that only works for a moment, and doesn't translate to real sports where you have to do coordinated whole-body movements The real strategy is to go for a pity point when your comedic flailing results in you fracturing your entire body and collapsing into a writhing mound of pain, and Serena will say anything just to get outta there
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Oct 2, 2023 17:25
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ApplesandOranges posted:Maybe they'll accidentally twist a muscle in a way that unlocks enlightenment, allowing them to be possessed by the spirit of the prince of tennis. Th-they've got her in the Tezuka Zone!
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Oct 2, 2023 17:26
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coronatae posted:I got married at a science museum and it was 100% kickass, we had cocktail hour with the dinosaurs and the ceremony in front of the fuckoff huge amethyst. Everyone loved it, we had the whole museum so the kids could entertain themselves if they liked, and people still talk about what a great wedding kt was. I also got married at a science museum and it was AMAZING. We have pics in front of various dinosaur fossils and a giant inflatable astronaut. Everyone got passes for the museum and free parking (very nice since it was in a downtown area) and pretty much everyone gushed at how awesome it was. We also had cookies and milk brought out later in the night. It was legit great. Only hiccup was my drunk, underdressed cousin showing up and almost getting escorted off the property because I didn't recognize him. The drunk part was especially concerning since he lives 2+ hours away. My parents and aunt (drunk cousin's mother) had to confirm that it was him and that he was actually invited and not a crasher or stalker. I'm a touch salty that he was able to show up to another family wedding the next week properly dressed and sober.
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Oct 2, 2023 17:28
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haveblue posted:In video games sometimes the novice can win when you wouldn't expect because they don't know how strategies and meta are supposed to work and zig when the expert predicts that a fellow expert would zag. But that only works for a moment, and doesn't translate to real sports where you have to do coordinated whole-body movements My friend took a round off Daigo because he wasn't expecting her to do a multiple wakeup dragon punches (sadly she did not get a second round)
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Oct 2, 2023 17:28
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Barudak posted:Tokyos finest tableside magic and fine dining concept restaurant.
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Oct 2, 2023 17:36
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CannonFodder posted:Yeah, that's right. scroll scroll scroll A TRUMPET? WTF  
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Oct 2, 2023 17:48
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ApplesandOranges posted:Maybe they'll accidentally twist a muscle in a way that unlocks enlightenment, allowing them to be possessed by the spirit of the prince of tennis. Rookie of the Year?
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Oct 2, 2023 17:53
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8one6 posted:My mom passed away a couple of years ago (not covid, cancer). We were fortunate enough to know it was coming for a few months before and got nearly everything sorted out in the will specifically because we knew my older sister was going to make the process a loving nightmare otherwise. Have a trust. Wills can be held up in probate, and the probate process can take a very long time even if things go well, depending on the state. Nothing can be disbursed until the probate process is completed and the estate is closed out. Trusts, on the other hand, work the way people think wills work - when the trustor dies, whatever is in the trust becomes property of the beneficiary(ies). If anyone wants to challenge it, they're the ones that have to go to court and pay out of pocket to maybe get something. All of this is highly state dependent, though, some states handle wills quickly. I think my state is one of the worst for probating.
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Oct 2, 2023 17:53
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That's spaghetti alla puttanesca https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spaghetti_alla_puttanesca quote:Because puttana means roughly "whore" or "prostitute" and puttanesca is an adjective derived from that word, the dish may have been invented in one of many bordellos in the Naples working-class neighbourhood of Quartieri Spagnoli as a quick meal taken between servicing clients.[9][10][11] Alternatively, food historian Jeremy Parzen suggests: "Italians use puttana (and related words) almost the way we use poo poo, as an all-purpose profanity, so pasta alla puttanesca might have originated with someone saying, essentially, 'I just threw a bunch of poo poo from the cupboard into a pan'."[12]
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Oct 2, 2023 17:59
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..... well. I see ordering italian is about to get rather entertaining for me and potentially embarrassing for my wife.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:01
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ApplesandOranges posted:Whenever someone who's a complete novice brings up the 'I could totally beat a world tennis pro at one round, surely', I'd suggest they try to take one round/stock/whatever off a fighting game expert and see how far that gets them. Yeah I played tennis in high school and went to state. I think if I got really really lucky I could take a point from a pro. Like I hit the net and the ball dropped on their side. Or I did a trick serve and then got lucky on the angle they returned a trick serve and then got lucky enough to get past them after that. Skill level differences in tennis are wild. I've played with former pros in their 50s/60s and they are still insanely good.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:06
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You all really didn’t have to verify that you’re part of the 12%
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Oct 2, 2023 18:17
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I once borrowed Mario Tennis from Blockbuster and played it a ton for the day I had it, so yeah, you could say I'm kind of a pro. I know all the terms. Tennis ball. Net. Serve. Wait, what was the question?
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Oct 2, 2023 18:30
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I could easily defeat any pro athlete as long as I get to rest up beforehand.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:32
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Collapsible baton to the knee: the great equalizer.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:34
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I have never played tennis in my life. I did once do a judo practice session with a former Olympian. He had competed in the 1984 Olympics, and this training session must have been like... 2011 or so? I'd been training regularly for a year or two at that point, and I was like 20 years younger than the guy. There was literally nothing I could do to him unless he permitted it. He might as well have been Superman. I don't really know the sport of Tennis but based on my experience in Judo - there's no loving comparison between a top level athlete and a joe average.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:35
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no one itt is scoring a point off serena williams or probably anyone else at all
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Oct 2, 2023 18:36
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we run out of breath going to reddit and back
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Oct 2, 2023 18:36
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But my scores in Mario Tennis!
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Oct 2, 2023 18:36
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Saint Isaias Boner posted:no one itt is scoring a point off serena williams or probably anyone else at all I just said I could easily do it
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Oct 2, 2023 18:38
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Biplane posted:I just said I could easily do it obviously not including you in this blanket statement
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Oct 2, 2023 18:39
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i thought that was a given
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Oct 2, 2023 18:39
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Can you include me in your blanket? We could be a burrito together.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:40
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Can you include me in your blanket? We could be a burrito together. You're obviously included: you've never scored in your life
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Oct 2, 2023 18:41
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Hellblazer187 posted:I have never played tennis in my life. I did once do a judo practice session with a former Olympian. He had competed in the 1984 Olympics, and this training session must have been like... 2011 or so? I'd been training regularly for a year or two at that point, and I was like 20 years younger than the guy. There was literally nothing I could do to him unless he permitted it. He might as well have been Superman. I don't really know the sport of Tennis but based on my experience in Judo - there's no loving comparison between a top level athlete and a joe average. literally every pro athlete is like this. There was a TV show based on this exact premise and all the Joes got loving destroyed also  even pro athletes are weirdosquote:Everyone thought Claude Lemieux was a total weirdo, ’cause he loving was. They’d fly all these guys around first class. They’re paying them 30 to 40 G’s to be there for a week. And I’m sitting there smoking with Claude Lemieux and he goes, “Tonight, I fly home.” And I go, “Yeah that’s cool, Claude.” And he goes, “They try to fly me first class, but I too smart. I change to coach.” I go “OK, great, Claude.” And he goes “That’s $200 in my pocket. In my pocket.” I was like, “OK, man.” Just stupid poo poo like that.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:42
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What if Serena is also playing mario tennis
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Oct 2, 2023 18:47
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I could win a point off of Yao Ming in basketball. Just gotta give him the ole "Criss Cross Applesauce" and he's done. The recovery in the hospital would suck but be worth it.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:49
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haveblue posted:What if Serena is also playing mario tennis only if she's not allowed to use Boo or Paratroopa
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Oct 2, 2023 18:50
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Pope Corky the IX posted:You all really didn’t have to verify that you’re part of the 12% yeah sorry I mean I do not think I could take a point off of a pro despite the fact that I am pretty good at tennis. And if I did it would be luck and nothing that I actually did. Like it would just be 4 aces when they serve and 4 reverse aces when I serve. Its hard to comprehend how fast 100+ mph serves are, let alone that some pros can hit that on their forehands.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:53
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Vampire Panties posted:also 200 bucks is 200 bucks.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:53
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Bruceski posted:200 bucks is 200 bucks.  Can't argue with math.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:57
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Obnoxipus posted:I once borrowed Mario Tennis from Blockbuster and played it a ton for the day I had it, so yeah, you could say I'm kind of a pro. I know all the terms. Tennis ball. Net. Serve. Wait, what was the question? I unironically joined my high school tennis team because I was good at Mario Tennis. Me and another guy got to battle every week to determine who was only the second-worst player on the JV squad. Usually it was me but I have to admit a lot of the time it was him. Won the Most Improved award which owned, and my coach put me into a single varsity doubles match at a tourney where our team placement was already determined so I got to letter on a technicality.
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Oct 2, 2023 19:01
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re:men and women in sports. I was an exception HS athlete and was able to get onto a Division 1 college program as a walk on, as well as some other sports at a relatively high level in my 20s. I'm in my 30s now, and the way I like to tell people is that I was just good enough at sports to understand how much I sucked compared to the real genetic freaks who exist out there. I got a chance to train with some of the most elite men and women in sports in the world, and while yes, the absolutely best of the best men (those who make it to college athletics, so ~top 1% of male HS athletes) are better than women, those women are still better than basically 97-98% of men, let alone the average lard-rear end American who literally can't make it up a flight of stairs. Also the athletic performance of women at the top level is increasing faster than men. And women have only been allowed to do sports for what, a few decades? My hottest take is that in 50-60 years no one will give a poo poo about gendered sports because in the long run it's all bullshit.
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Oct 2, 2023 19:08
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Vampire Panties posted:literally every pro athlete is like this. Then how do you explain the well-documented case of Shaq losing to some twelve-year-old kid? AITA for addressing a military officer by his first name and being "too informal" around him? quote:I am a professor at an American university, and I specialize in bioinformatics. One of my PhD students, "John" (not his real name) is a lieutenant colonel in the USAF. John and I get along real well. He is a genius at his field, and he's got a very relaxed, friendly personality. I call him by his first name, and he has no issues with this whatsoever. I also like to crack jokes with him from time to time, you know, just so he and I can decompress from his rigorous studies. 
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Oct 2, 2023 19:46
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That guy is 100% getting pranked by his brother.
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Oct 2, 2023 19:48
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