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The swamp demons are really tearing my loved ones apart in this spooky house, but I know I can get through it if I can just go into the bathroom and splash some cold water on my face for some reason
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Oct 6, 2023 20:13
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you are desensitize to the violence you saw previously, now watch as some gently caress up eyeball poo poo happens to me which is the one thing that can still make you feel squeamish
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Oct 6, 2023 20:15
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After a hilariously predictable series of fuckups I get to pick up the shotgun from the cold dead hands of the previous idiot to have been mauled by the monster. Carefully considering my options I aim the gun directly in front of me as I walk backwards, where I can't see.
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Oct 6, 2023 20:23
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I'm the uncomfortable New York Jewish stereotype character played by Harvey Fierstein. "Uhhh, my ulcer! Ohhh, I gotta call my broker!"
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Oct 6, 2023 20:23
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I'm sure glad we escaped from all those vampires. Which are real and exist and that is a thing I know now and can never unlearn. What else is real? Ghosts? Witches? Bigfoot? Demons? I can never go out at night again. I can never go out in the day again. poo poo, is the boogie man real? Screw this, I'm going back in. Either I die or I get super powers and frankly I envy the dead.
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Oct 6, 2023 20:54
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We have to burn the bodies. It痴 the only way to be sure. *never actually shown burning any bodies*
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Oct 6, 2023 23:23
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I regret to inform you all that there are only three possible metaphysical realities: 1) all of the folklore/rumors/myths you致e heard recently are 100% true. 2) none of them are true, but there痴 a guy who is using them as cover for mundane murders/Scooby Doo style plots to trick people 3) There痴 a Scooby Doo guy but him using the myths as cover is pissing off the real ghost or whatever, who is going to punish him for his hubris. Those are your only options. So plan accordingly.
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Oct 6, 2023 23:35
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Of course the old mysterious piano didn't gain sentience, become evil, and eat seven people ya stupid kid. That's not the type of thing that happens in this here small town Maine. Look I'll grab a couple of beers, just to take that edge of all YOUR GOD drat WHINING, than play some 60's advertising jingles you used to love, on it just to show you. "Hot dogs, amour hot dogs....
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Oct 6, 2023 23:48
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does anyone have batteries? my flashlight went out
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Oct 6, 2023 23:52
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Pragmatica posted:does anyone have batteries? my flashlight went out You can borrow mine, it's not much use anyway. Keeps flashing on and off and when it does work it only shows a tiny circle in front of me
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Oct 7, 2023 00:04
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there's a secret I've kept about this place... I never shared this before. none of the tourists know about it. well.... I have a map. it's a route through the jungle that leads to a Paradise, at least that's what the natives say
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Oct 7, 2023 00:12
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Ah poo poo I have to chainsaw my hand off. I SAW IT IN A MOVIE!! Edit: Christ that was a loving terrible pun I didn't even mean that.
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Oct 7, 2023 00:23
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Huh, no cell service. I'd better announce that out loud so everyone else can check and audibly agree.
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Oct 7, 2023 00:27
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Yeah sure, the creature impregnated me with hundreds of its chittering young, but joke's on it; with these youngin's I can finally live the welfare queen (king?) dream that conservative politicians scream about. How much USD does a mewling abomination get me each month? Also that creature is now crawling with every STD known to man and shark - Earth wins again!
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Oct 7, 2023 00:36
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Beware if you go near Elm Mountain, not many people know of it's dark murderous past, and the killer that roams there to this very day! *(is the 9th movie in the Crazed Cannibal killer of Massacre Mountain franchise. Each movie has a 8+kill count, and from the third movie onwards it shown the killings are regularly reported on national.)
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Oct 7, 2023 00:40
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What happens if I don't enter the man-blender torture murder trap? Oh you'll shoot me? Fine, I'm climbing in.
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Oct 7, 2023 00:46
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Don't worry everyone I had the mechanics go over the whole car last weekend and filled this baby up with fuel just before we drove here. We can leave any time. Oh no it isn't starting.
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Oct 7, 2023 01:19
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I know I'm a stranger, and I know you're in the middle of your cute little honeymoon, visiting shops, having dinner, but I'm giving you the invitation of a lifetime. There's this festival deep in the Alps, I can take you. You'll live like you've never lived before if you come with me.
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Oct 7, 2023 01:21
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What do you mean I look like a serial killer who's on the loose, as a crotch old 7ft tall lumber jack I just like to walk around on dark and storm nights in my fine pitch black rain jacket, carrying my trusty old chopping axe, how the hell could you mistake me for a serial killer? Man is some serial killing jack rear end stealing my look? gently caress 
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Oct 7, 2023 02:33
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I drive an axe through your back, proving to the group that you weren't the killer because I am!
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Oct 7, 2023 02:53
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Double gently caress
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Oct 7, 2023 02:54
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAzPAwe2KBc
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Oct 7, 2023 03:09
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Pragmatica posted:does anyone have batteries? my flashlight went out I only have my phone battery and my car battery. You're welcome to them; they're both dead.
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Oct 7, 2023 05:17
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Don't worry all, I got the diesel power generator going in the shed out back! ...wait, what's the sputtering noise? Um, oh. None of you would happen to have a spare can of diesel would you?
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Oct 7, 2023 05:27
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A member of our group is turning into a horrible monster! We have one chance to kill it, but no, they're our friend! We can't!
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Oct 7, 2023 05:36
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*dies*
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Oct 7, 2023 15:44
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twistedmentat posted:A member of our group is turning into a horrible monster! We have one chance to kill it, but no, they're our friend! We can't! I picked them up drunk in a bar yesterday!
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Oct 7, 2023 19:51
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"Look at all the bloody headless bodies!" *cough* PG *cough* "Look at all the headless bodies!"
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Oct 7, 2023 19:56
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dr_rat posted:Don't worry all, I got the diesel power generator going in the shed out back! ...wait, what's the sputtering noise? Um, oh. That generator wasn't diesel! twistedmentat posted:A member of our group is turning into a horrible monster! We have one chance to kill it, but no, they're our friend! We can't! I'll do it I honestly never liked that guy. Here just lock me in the room with him for a moment. *moments later* Yeah it went fine. No of course I didn't get bitten Jesus you're so paranoid.
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Oct 7, 2023 20:08
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I知 an ancient demon and the only thing I can think of to spook people is cuss words and loving up my limbs to crawl around the ceiling like a spider
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Oct 7, 2023 21:13
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Quiet Feet posted:That generator wasn't diesel! Aren't all generators diesel? gently caress. I'm just an advertising guy for the big city, I'm not use to all this wilderness living, with all this dang fangled power country generators, and people getting stabbed by serial killers!!! dr_rat fucked around with this message at 22:02 on Oct 7, 2023 |
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Oct 7, 2023 21:59
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I am such a raging alcoholic I'm just going to drink this unmarked booze we found in the spooky abandoned ship. What can go wrong g?
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Oct 7, 2023 22:16
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Pffft, I'm not stupid enough to drink from an unmarked bottle, I'll just get one of the bottles of beer we left in the fridge in basement with the light that never works, just right next to the body of the stranger who mysteriously died who was rambling that strange crap about the dead coming back to life and demonic possession or something.
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Oct 7, 2023 22:20
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dr_rat posted:Aren't all generators diesel? gently caress. I知 crouched behind the outhouse till dusk, waiting for you to stumble in through the dark swearing about these drat yokels I知 using the time to workshop a one liner for you ---------------- Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 22:34 on Oct 7, 2023 |
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Oct 7, 2023 22:23
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I was talking to oh... what's his name... you know, the clearly emotionally unstable guy? The one who shot that group of unarmed women and children. Kept laughing the whole time? The guy who keeps telling everyone how they're filth and the zombie plague is natures reconning. The guy who tried to stab me like twice? And you? Yeah, Crazy Eyes Craig, that's it! Anyway he's on gate duty tonight. I'm off to bed.
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Oct 7, 2023 22:40
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:I知 crouched behind the outhouse till dusk, waiting for you to stumble in through the dark swearing about these drat yokels God drat country yokels, god drat scary bird nosies. Oh how in the holy gently caress do these drat country outhouse doors work, why the hell couldn't they just put in door opening auto censors like on normal doors??? gently caress this, I'll just piss on the door.
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Oct 7, 2023 23:05
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I'm a big scary monster that's here to eat you but before I eat you I make sure to pause six inches above your face and scream really loud to give you a fair chance to escape
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Oct 8, 2023 00:16
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vyelkin posted:I'm a big scary monster that's here to eat you but before I eat you I make sure to pause six inches above your face and scream really loud to give you a fair chance to escape As I'm not the sort of person who survives things, I have made a definite decision I will not use that very generously given time to make an escape, instead I will stand in the same place, close my eyes and quietly sob, repeating to myself "this isn't happening, this isn't happening."
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Oct 8, 2023 00:41
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Oh wow, I heard a noise outside. Better check it out. I'll be right back!
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Oct 8, 2023 00:46
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| # ? Jun 13, 2024 01:44 |
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I知 ZogrymAteMyHamster, I知 back, and I知 just holding this hand behind my back because I tripped and hurt it
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Oct 8, 2023 01:25
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