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surely its cheaper to just buy a tent. or at least a tarp and some sticks
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 13:57 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 17:30 |
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hbag posted:surely its cheaper to just buy a tent. or at least a tarp and some sticks
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 21:03 |
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Vim Fuego posted:I believe in the product. I wouldn't be here if I did. I'm advocating for the user experience because better sleep improves peoples lives, and with our smart connected mattresses it's a measurable improvement. I think we're shipping q2 24 at the latest. Just some kinks to work out- like right now if it loses connection it defaults to a deflated setting because the feedback loops cut out. But these things do work! This is one the funniest posts in forums history.
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 21:24 |
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Jose Oquendo posted:This is one the funniest posts in forums history. Okay I am lolling than god you posted this Neckpain from your mattress deflating once it loses connection with the internet. The middle of the night. Imagine being on sleep meds and having this happen
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 21:25 |
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Songbearer posted:I sleep in other people's cars, and by sleep in I mean steal, and by steal I mean gargle, and by cars I mean their big sweaty hairy musky testicles thank you for your service, sir.
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 21:52 |
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sudonim posted:I'm also starting to think this is a bit, I work in device firmware/software and this is like smart device 101. It's has to be smart enough without an Internet connection to do most of its functionality. WAR CRIME GIGOLO posted:Okay I am lolling than god you posted this Look. Obviously it's not that we can't design it to just sit at a static inflation level without a connection. That's trivial. But the point of differentiation from old dumb mattresses is that the inflation, firmness, and bolster levels are constantly monitored and adjusted by AI. That means it needs to phone home so a connection to a remote server is necessary. I've advocated as a UX issue that the default behavior should more closely replicate the normal mattress experience, but it's contentious because the higher-ups think people just won't connect in the first place if they don't have to.
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 21:59 |
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Vim Fuego posted:Sexual health is health. Our algorithm does automatically recognize those uses of the product, but recording and retention of that data subset is an optional user setting. "Smart Mattress Inc. is a Registered Sex Offender"
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 22:07 |
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 22:07 |
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Vim Fuego posted:Look. Obviously it's not that we can't design it to just sit at a static inflation level without a connection. That's trivial. But the point of differentiation from old dumb mattresses is that the inflation, firmness, and bolster levels are constantly monitored and adjusted by AI. That means it needs to phone home so a connection to a remote server is necessary. I've advocated as a UX issue that the default behavior should more closely replicate the normal mattress experience, but it's contentious because the higher-ups think people just won't connect in the first place if they don't have to. Why the gently caress Do you people care if they connected or not? They bought the loving product. I don't care if people smoke the weed I sell them because Im raking in the dough!!!!!!! Like it's just such bullshit decadence of the text silicon Valley idiot that they literally are going to cause their customers physical pain if they don't use the product in the intended way. Like what the gently caress is wrong with all these startups. This is why they all loving fail. You have to follow all the rules or they torture you with coding. They spend more time jailing your rear end to their expected way of utilizing the product that they end up coming out with an inferior product and no one actually wants to use!!!!!!! YOU FOOLS
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 22:07 |
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Vim Fuego posted:Look. Obviously it's not that we can't design it to just sit at a static inflation level without a connection. That's trivial. But the point of differentiation from old dumb mattresses is that the inflation, firmness, and bolster levels are constantly monitored and adjusted by AI. That means it needs to phone home so a connection to a remote server is necessary. I've advocated as a UX issue that the default behavior should more closely replicate the normal mattress experience, but it's contentious because the higher-ups think people just won't connect in the first place if they don't have to. surely its possible to code it so it doesnt loving deflate when it loses connection. like the radio waves from the router arent the force holding the valve closed. also who the gently caress wants to dedicate bandwidth to their bed
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 22:16 |
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This thread loving rules
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 22:56 |
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WAR CRIME GIGOLO posted:Why the gently caress Do you people care if they connected or not? They bought the loving product. they're planning on monetizing it by inserting subliminal patterns of pulses designed to stimulate your sleeping brain to think of different products, allowing them to sell ad space during people's dreams.
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 23:04 |
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is the deflating thing so inevitably when someone doesnt pay their monthly $5 snoozr subscription you can disable their mattress
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 23:10 |
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Has OP clarified what they do about using the bathroom on days they are sleeping in their car? Like, are they doing the pee in bottles thing, or what?
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 23:17 |
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Has OP clarified what they do about using the bathroom on days they are sleeping in their car? Like, are they doing the pee in bottles thing, or what? Perhaps they drilled a hole in the bottom of the trunk. Gotta pee? Just lie on your stomach, aim for the hole, or if the OP has a penis, just stick it in the hole, and go.
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 23:22 |
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Jose Oquendo posted:Perhaps they drilled a hole in the bottom of the trunk. Gotta pee? Just lie on your stomach, aim for the hole, or if the OP has a penis, just stick it in the hole, and go. They are a goon, so this checks out.
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 23:23 |
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hbag posted:snoozr Snoozero
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# ? Oct 7, 2023 23:29 |
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Vim Fuego posted:Look. Obviously it's not that we can't design it to just sit at a static inflation level without a connection. That's trivial. But the point of differentiation from old dumb mattresses is that the inflation, firmness, and bolster levels are constantly monitored and adjusted by AI. That means it needs to phone home so a connection to a remote server is necessary. I've advocated as a UX issue that the default behavior should more closely replicate the normal mattress experience, but it's contentious because the higher-ups think people just won't connect in the first place if they don't have to. Stop talking about your fake mattress company and tell us more about pretending to live in your car for funzies
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 00:01 |
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At least Rime's lovely van life thread had cool pictures and he worked on wind turbines. Dollar-store Rime over here, lol.
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 00:58 |
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This can't be real. Therefore, it is.
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 01:09 |
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Hi OP. I used to live in Silicon Valley, too. Few notes here from someone who left: Go to a loving therapist and live inside your home. You work for an imminently failing company, just from the description, so I'd recommend brushing up your resume and looking elsewhere. Also if you have a 40 minute commute that's like, San Mateo to Mountain View no traffic, so I'm assuming you're counting traffic in. Drive yourself from San Jose to freaking Sunnyvale every day and back home. Shower and poo poo like a normal human and not at your Y-Combinator-backed thoughtleader's rent-a-office. Also this absolutely reads like it's real. Go the gently caress home you Peter Pan weirdo.
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 02:02 |
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beep boop
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 02:09 |
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Randy Travesty posted:you Peter Pan weirdo. A new and exciting insult?
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 02:14 |
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i live and post in one of these op highly recommended!
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 02:15 |
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Dollar store rhine with a touch of dedication to a tech company specializing in IOTing your mattress
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 02:54 |
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Can your magic mattress tell how many times someone has farted and/or poo poo on it? These are important numbers.
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 03:15 |
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It should definitely be able to detect crusty spots and adjust the firmness accordingly. Perhaps the AI algorithm could be trained on exercising those crusty areas by inflating/deflating?
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 03:25 |
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"im not owned! im not owned!!", i continue to insist as i slowly climb into the trunk of my car to sleep."
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 03:35 |
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..so how much do you actually make OP? You're considering the cost of gas, it doesn't sound like alot.
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 03:58 |
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ninjoatse.cx posted:..so how much do you actually make OP? OP believes in the product so much, he's actually an unpaid intern.
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 05:21 |
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How many hours a week do you work OP? If it’s 40-50 hours a week, then you’re complaining about a 1 hr commute each way every day, so what. If you’re working 70-80 hours a week, then maybe sleeping in your car makes sense. However, if you were pulling heavy hours you should be getting paid handsomely and therefore able to piss $500 a month for gas. Also if you’re a loving bed programmer that seems like something you could do remote at least partially. You don’t need to lay in the bed to program whatever the gently caress AI hyper algo bed adjustment skynet you claim will improve peoples sleep.
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 06:00 |
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Tnuctip posted:How many hours a week do you work OP? If it’s 40-50 hours a week, then you’re complaining about a 1 hr commute each way every day, so what. an hour commute each way is a horrendous way to live regardless of how many hours you work. 10 hours per week, unpaid, just driving in lovely traffic to and from your job. i'd never live like that.
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 06:36 |
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since i got my wfh gig i havent had to drive to work in months. man it loving rules let me tell you.
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 06:49 |
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Vim Fuego posted:I believe in the product. I wouldn't be here if I did. I'm advocating for the user experience because better sleep improves peoples lives, and with our smart connected mattresses it's a measurable improvement. I think we're shipping q2 24 at the latest. Just some kinks to work out- like right now if it loses connection it defaults to a deflated setting because the feedback loops cut out. But these things do work! Alright, no. I'll swallow a lot, but I do not believe that anyone is making a mattress that stops being a mattress if it's not constantly online.
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 07:03 |
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i found out that i can sleep on the floor FOR FREE and it’s better for the back
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 07:05 |
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Bad Purchase posted:i found out that i can sleep on the floor FOR FREE and it’s better for the back Yeah, but the floor has no achievements or DLCs.
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 07:10 |
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pro starcraft loser posted:Initial D epressing
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 08:52 |
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Bad Purchase posted:i found out that i can sleep on the floor FOR FREE and it’s better for the back One weird trick the SmartBed tycoons DON'T want you to know about
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 08:54 |
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R.L. Stine posted:you should use your mattress app to detect when your wife is cheating on you, nerd
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 11:15 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 17:30 |
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"isn't your husband gonna be coming home soon" "yeah about that..."
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# ? Oct 8, 2023 11:22 |