r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Clocks: Oct 2, 2007

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for gifting my twins differently on their birthdays?

Guessing his daughter's "lack of interests" is more about him not giving a poo poo about her interests or finding them not worth his time. God forbid she likes girly things like shopping or makeup instead of taking an explicit interest in cars.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 17:47

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# ? May 28, 2024 07:26

Baron Zephyrus: Apr 17, 2018

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for gifting my twins differently on their birthdays?

Holy favoritism, Batman!

"She's into shopping and fashion." Then talk to her mother?? If you don't want to learn about her hobbies? Or talk to her directly? You *involved* your son in his gift purchase, but didn't involve your daughter at all for hers! I guarantee this rear end in a top hat could have gotten her something more personal at the very least if he spent more than 5 seconds talking to her.

Hell, if he really didn't know much about his daughter's interests, he could have even offered to take her to the mall for a little shopping spree for her gift. Make a budget, so she knows what she can work with, and then all the effort is on her and you just have to follow behind and, yknow, spend time with your kid.

Also, he's an idiot for spending that much on a car for an 18-year-old. I have a ton of issues with the way my father parented (namely: he didn't), but I did agree with his thoughts on cars for under-25s: You're not buying them a car, you're buying them a bumper car. Don't spend more than like 2 grand if you can manage it. (EDIT: granted, this was over 10 years ago, inflation would probably change this budget) If the son really likes doing work on cars, then an older car is actually better, because he'll get a lot of opportunity for learning how to do little repairs himself (I had an old car that had the dash lightbulbs die, so I couldn't see the speedometer/etc at night anymore. I replaced them myself, and felt super accomplished. I also used purple lights so it was more personal for me :3:

)

# ? Oct 10, 2023 17:51

cyberia: Jun 24, 2011; Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

Crocobile posted:

AITA for getting mad at a woman after she accused me of sexually harassing her?

Invest in some pants with elastic waistbands my dude. Or just… new pants?? You don’t have to live like this!!

Isn't this a fetish thing? There was a guy who used to constantly post similar AITA's about how he'd gained a ton of weight (normally blamed on COVID / working from home) and had to wear his old clothes that didn't fit him anymore. The stories usually involved him being scolded or accosted by coworkers or boss about his cartoonishly tight and ill-fitting clothes and his insistence that there was simply nothing else he could do except keep wearing them for reasons I can't remember.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 17:54

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for telling my daughter not to spend money on her classroom because it makes the rest of us look bad?

quote:

I'm a first grade teacher and my daughter is a preschool teacher. She's a second year teacher. She was a teaching assistant for a year while she got the credits required to teach. Her school opened a second location with one classroom and she currently runs the location from 12-6:30 every day.

When she started working at the school, I noticed she was running to the dollar tree or Walmart to grab little things for her classroom like hair ties, stickers, beads, and string. She said she didn't mind because it was all cheap and made her job easier. Then when she got her own classroom, she really started looking on next-door and buy nothing and shopping for her classroom more often. She got 24 outfits to store in her class (3 in each size from 2-5 for boys and girls) in case the parents forget to send new clothes, she has a box of pull ups in case a kid has an accident and doesn't have a spare pair of underwear, she has extra snacks, she has extra jackets and socks, a pack of combs and brushes, extra nap bedding, and bins of what she calls "stalling activities" (easy things she can pull out when she needs to stall). She even has halloween costumes in case one of her students doesn't have one and she gives away the blankets and jackets if she thinks a student needs them.

I told her that all of this is excessive and she should leave it up to the owner of the school to get these things. She said the owner says these things aren't necessary but they don't cost much and they make her classroom run smoother. I told her that if the owner says it's unnecessary, don't get these things and let her see how the class runs without them. I told her I don't spend any money on my classroom and that if my principal isn't willing to buy it, the kids don't need it. She says it's different because I work at a $30k+ per year private school and she teaches in a more lower income community but I still told her it's not her responsibility. I also told her that her buying stuff for her classroom makes all of us that don't look bad but she doesn't care.

She's upset with me for being pushy but I'm just doing what's best for her. AITA?

you know those teachers who, decades after you've left school, you still remember and think back fondly on? yeah, well OP ain't one of 'em

# ? Oct 10, 2023 17:55

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Sagebrush posted:

Just out of curiosity cowslips warren -- this is not meant to be a dig -- how many hours a day do you spend on r/relationships and aita?

Actually not much, maybe total 30 minutes a day because if I can't find a good story on the first page or so, usually just close Reddit down. Honestly usually takes the most time to format the post on my phone.

I remember a while ago when I worked in a copy center, we had a teacher from a school that pretty much had extremely low income and homeless children. We just happened to find a bunch of colored paper stock that we didn't really need anymore or didn't use much of and that ended up making it into one of her boxes. She was a little confused saying her order shouldn't have been three boxes but turns out there was a lot of paper we could toss.

I do like the fact that the private school teacher is the one saying you shouldn't spend a whole lot of money when private schools as far as I know are never free.

AITA for telling my niece she�ll have to move out if she�s not my nanny anymore?

quote:

I�m a single mom to 2 kids (8 & 6). I work as a nurse. 3 days a week, I work 12 hour shifts (12 pm-12 am). After my husband passed, I needed a nanny to tend to my kids from the time they got off school (3 pm) onwards. I decided a live-in was the best choice. I have one guest bedroom.

I live right near a university. Around this time, my niece had just gotten accepted. She wanted to save cost on dorms and offered to watch my kids those 3 days, if she could live there rent free. I agreed, and said I�d also pay her $22/hr (a competitive rate for our area). She�s done with her classes by 1, so it works out. She fixes them dinner and puts them to bed. Then she�s free to do whatever. But of course I pay her from 3 pm-12:30 am. It worked for 2 years. My niece never had any complaints.

Now, however, my niece is getting an (paid) internship related to her major that starts in January. She wouldn�t be available to watch my kids. I congratulated her and said I could help her look into student housing or an apartment. We�d have 3 months to do this. She was confused. I said since I would need a live in and only have one guest room, she would have to move out. My niece got upset and said this isn�t fair, she won�t be able to save any money if she gets a dorm or an apartment (she could afford to live on her own, but wouldn�t have much savings). I pointed out that this would work best for me as I had to put my kids in aftercare the other 2 days I work (I get off around 5) and the nanny could just pick them up from school vs them having to stay there so long.

My niece argued that the nanny could leave at the end of her shift but after speaking to some nannies, they understandably don�t want to drive home so late. Plus, I�m fine with the nanny (and my niece) sleeping after the kids do. So, there�s no sense in them sleeping then waking up and driving so drowsy. Even I feel nervous driving home so late, especially after my long shift.

My SIL (her mom) feels this is unfair to my niece but she moved in under the condition that she�d work as a nanny. My SIL and brother live 3 hours away, so niece couldn�t commute if she moved back in with them. They feel I should try to find a nanny who�d be willing to drive home at 12:30 AM (it�d take me a half hour minimum to get home), but all nannies I�ve spoken to have said no or expressed concern about their safety driving so late.

AITA?

Cowslips Warren fucked around with this message at 18:06 on Oct 10, 2023

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:02

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for telling my daughter not to spend money on her classroom because it makes the rest of us look bad?

you know those teachers who, decades after you've left school, you still remember and think back fondly on? yeah, well OP ain't one of 'em

OP is right, you should never put your own income into your job. And that's creating an expectation for other people at that school to spend their own hard earned money making up for funding deficiency.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:03

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Stop doing this thing that's simultaneously useless but also so impressive that it puts everyone else to shame!

So how much of this is just mom being pissed that the poors are getting nice things?

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:06

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for telling my daughter not to spend money on her classroom because it makes the rest of us look bad?

you know those teachers who, decades after you've left school, you still remember and think back fondly on? yeah, well OP ain't one of 'em

Eh, the daughter's heart is in the right place and she is doing what is best for the kids, but teachers should not have to pay for this kind of stuff out of their own pocket, and by doing so, she is giving the administration someone to point at and say "She buys her own classroom supplies, why can't you be more like her?" as they continue to cut funding.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:07

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

John Wick of Dogs posted:

OP is right, you should never put your own income into your job. And that's creating an expectation for other people at that school to spend their own hard earned money making up for funding deficiency.

It's dumb and bad, but 99% of that poo poo is tax deductible for teachers. I wrote off pretty much everything I bought for my first classroom.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:08

best bale: Jul 4, 2007; Lipstick Apathy

Modal Auxiliary posted:

It's dumb and bad, but 99% of that poo poo is tax deductible for teachers. I wrote off pretty much everything I bought for my first classroom.

Used to be, now capped at $300

Edit: had to look it up and it�s actually been increased from $250 so yay? This fuckin� country

best bale fucked around with this message at 18:18 on Oct 10, 2023

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:13

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for leaning on my daughter for emotional support whilst she was on her honeymoon?

quote:

6 months prior to my (62F) daughter (32F)getting married, my husband(64M) of 40 years left me to pursue a life of alcoholism. This left me emotionally distraught, and she was the only person with whom I could share my heartbreak, and lean on for support. She lived close by with her fianc�e and I was able to go round to their house on a daily basis to air my latest grievances and let her know what her father had been up to. It was a much needed cathartic experience for me, and one on which my mental health depended.

After the wedding, despite being able to spend much of the reception explaining how uncomfortable my ex-husbands presence made me feel, my daughter and her husband were to go on a week long honeymoon in Europe. I did not think I could manage the solitude on my own, and so informed my daughter I would have to call her daily to manage.

It was such a stressful time for me and I was often in tears talking to her, and often had to call several times a day. I needed someone to hear how upset I was with my ex-husband, and how I had felt cheated out of the best years of my life, married to this man, and she was my emotional rock.

My daughter has since told me, that my son-in-law (32F) was less empathetic than she was to my situation, and didn't understand why "she couldn't just let us enjoy our honeymoon".

AITA here or is my son-in-law just as cold and heartless as my ex-husband?

EDIT: when you've dedicated 30+ years of your life to raising your children you don't always have an extensive support network. My daughter is my best friend and the only person I can trust to understand how I'm feeling.

I did not expect such overwhelming negativity, as a few phone calls a day still leaves plenty of time to enjoy the rest of the honeymoon. Trying to take it all on but it is hard to take.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:15

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Crocobile posted:

AITA for getting mad at a woman after she accused me of sexually harassing her?

Invest in some pants with elastic waistbands my dude. Or just� new pants?? You don�t have to live like this!!

Elastic waist jeans are a lifehack. Like, for real. If your shirt is untucked, they're like 85% as comfortable as pajamas but you don't look like you're going to the grocery store in pajamas.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:17

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Baron Zephyrus posted:

Also, he's an idiot for spending that much on a car for an 18-year-old. I have a ton of issues with the way my father parented (namely: he didn't), but I did agree with his thoughts on cars for under-25s: You're not buying them a car, you're buying them a bumper car. Don't spend more than like 2 grand if you can manage it. (EDIT: granted, this was over 10 years ago, inflation would probably change this budget) If the son really likes doing work on cars, then an older car is actually better, because he'll get a lot of opportunity for learning how to do little repairs himself (I had an old car that had the dash lightbulbs die, so I couldn't see the speedometer/etc at night anymore. I replaced them myself, and felt super accomplished. I also used purple lights so it was more personal for me)

You really haven't looked in a long time. $10k basically gets you a decent 10+ year old car now. You aren't getting anything that actually runs and/or passes whatever local inspection is required for $2k.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:17

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for leaning on my daughter for emotional support whilst she was on her honeymoon?

I needed someone to hear how upset I was with my ex-husband, and how I had felt cheated out of the best years of my life, married to this man, and she was my emotional rock.

That someone is a therapist you loving idiot.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:19

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

The_Franz posted:

You really haven't looked in a long time. $10k basically gets you a decent 10+ year old car now. You aren't getting anything that actually runs and/or passes whatever local inspection is required for $2k.

I just bought a spotless 2008 Subaru with 80k miles and it ran me around $11k. I'd be amazed if you could get a street-legal vehicle for under $5k in the US nowadays.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:24

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

quote:

EDIT: when you've dedicated 30+ years of your life to raising your children you don't always have an extensive support network. My daughter is my best friend and the only person I can trust to understand how I'm feeling.

Funny, I have a feeling that raising children has little-to-nothing to do with how extensive your support network is or whether you have friends or not.

There is a lot of missing info here, such as why the alcoholic ex-husband was invited to the wedding (and didn't even cause problems).

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:25

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Kenshin posted:

There is a lot of missing info here, such as why the alcoholic ex-husband was invited to the wedding (and didn't even cause problems).

my guess is that he stopped drinking the minute that he escaped OP

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:29

Coca Koala: Nov 28, 2005; ongoing nowhere; College Slice

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for leaning on my daughter for emotional support whilst she was on her honeymoon?

I did not expect such overwhelming negativity, as a few phone calls a day still leaves plenty of time to enjoy the rest of the honeymoon. Trying to take it all on but it is hard to take.

How many phone calls a day is �a few�, jesus christ

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:31

Wicked Them Beats: Apr 1, 2007; Moralists don't really *have* beliefs. Sometimes they stumble on one, like on a child's toy left on the carpet. The toy must be put away immediately. And the child reprimanded.

Modal Auxiliary posted:

I just bought a spotless 2008 Subaru with 80k miles and it ran me around $11k. I'd be amazed if you could get a street-legal vehicle for under $5k in the US nowadays.

I was looking at used cars last year and anything under $5k was either 20+ years old or had 200k miles. I guess you could buy one of those if you were desperate but I doubt it'd hold out for very long, and good luck getting it to pass smog.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:32

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Modal Auxiliary posted:

It's dumb and bad, but 99% of that poo poo is tax deductible for teachers. I wrote off pretty much everything I bought for my first classroom.

Yeah but tax deductible doesn't mean free. Most teachers would likely be at a 22% marginal rate. So for every dollar of school supplies, they save less than a quarter on taxes. So it's still more than 75c of their own money.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:33

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

John Wick of Dogs posted:

OP is right, you should never put your own income into your job. And that's creating an expectation for other people at that school to spend their own hard earned money making up for funding deficiency.

School funding is inadequate. It shouldn't be. It is. Teachers of poor children can either make up for society's neglect of both the children and the school, or can see children unable to do their schoolwork because they don't have supplies/clothes/food. Many, many of them choose to spend their own money on that. I subsidize my kid, who's a school social worker, because their official budget doesn't extend enough for all the toys/activities that are needed in therapy.

"The world shouldn't be like that" is all very well, but we're looking at the world as it is. And "you're making the rest of us look bad" is incorrect; society is making them look bad, and they're blaming the teacher who tries to help.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:34

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

The_Franz posted:

Eh, the daughter's heart is in the right place and she is doing what is best for the kids, but teachers should not have to pay for this kind of stuff out of their own pocket, and by doing so, she is giving the administration someone to point at and say "She buys her own classroom supplies, why can't you be more like her?" as they continue to cut funding.

Oh yeah right as if by depriving the kids of this stuff she wants them to have, would ever encourage them to increase budgets.

Also telling people how they should and shouldn't spend their money is a big can of worms that goes nowhere. Cause if we are playing telling people what they shouldn't spend money on "things to make their classroom better" is not on my list and if it is, so low not worth bringing up even in context.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:37

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Raising children has made me become much less of a hermit. I have to interact with lots of neighborhood children and their parents on a daily basis.

It's actually pretty nice. Walking the kids to school and back home is the highlight of my day.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 18:41

Pope Hilarius II: Nov 10, 2008

Xun posted:

I mean he did gently caress up thee and thou, unforgivable really

Not only that, forms ending on "-est" are 2nd person singular, not 1st person. Somehow I have always detested people who attempt to actually speak Shakespearean / Original King James Bible English (same for people who do the equivalent thing in Dutch) because it kind of feels like part of the whole cargo culting "being a man of culture" in the same category as wearing fedoras, and I'm even more dismayed when they completely flub it like this goober did. It's like you've smugly shat yourself and the poo poo didn't even come out right.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 19:15

NGDBSS: Dec 30, 2009

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for leaning on my daughter for emotional support whilst she was on her honeymoon?

Is this emotional incest? :thunk:

...

Of course it's emotional incest. :negative:

# ? Oct 10, 2023 19:18

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

My [42 M] wife [28F] has banned by children [11M, 10F, 8M] from my first marriage from our house because they refuse to call her "Mommy" or "Mom." This is a deep situation with no easy solution.

quote:

Before the inevitable comes...I know I screwed up a lot and now a lot of people are paying the price for my mistakes. What I am trying to do now is damage control for the past and try to create a workable future for all involved.

I was married to my first wife for just over 10 years. I'm a professional tradesman and won a national level award and was given a trip to Orlando by my company. For some god only knows reason the person they chose to send with me was the bosses daughter who was 22 at the time, dumb a soup and very "country" hot. Well, because I am a piece of human garbage with no character, not only did I sleep with her, but she got pregnant.

Of course my wife promptly left me taking the three kids with her, she has since met a really great widower who I thank God and Jesus that he is in my first kids' life. My boss being the southern Pentecostal blow hard that he is, demanded that I make an honest woman of his daughter so we got married. We now have two kids of our own.

The oldest and youngest of my first three are great kids, bookish, athletic and very polite. My daughter (middle) is a great kid in her own right but she has a tongue like a whip and has absolutely no tolerance for bullshit. She decided early on that my wife had two places in her world, the pay-no-mind list or my-life-is-only-to-make-your-life-hard. She convinced her brothers that the should never call my new wife "Mom" rather by a very insulting "Pammy."

This wasn't to big of a deal because my wife would usually go to her parents or her friends when my kids came over but now that my two younger kids are getting old enough to know what's going on and they too have started to call my wife Pammy (they both adore my daughter). Well this has sent my wife into near rages that not only is she not respected by her step kids, but that her own children are already showing signs of not respecting her.

little edits here because I typed so fast I left out the stuff about my FIL:

Without my knowledge, and when I was in another state, she said she was going to take all the kids to Chuck E Cheeses for a late b-day party, which she did but what really happened is the younger two ran around the arcade with a sitter while she and her father sat the three older kids in a corner of the restaurant and harassed them for not being respectful and talked to them about what the bible said about respecting parents. She then told them strait out that they had to start calling her Mommy or they were not allowed to come over.

My daughter instantly got on their phone with their step dad, and had it not been for his level head there would have been an all out cat fight in the middle of the Bossier City Chuck E Cheese. He took the three older kids home and they have not been back over since.

Does anyone have ANY advice for me? Has anyone had any similar situations? I am employed by my father in law and have kids with my current wife so just up and leaving is not an option. I can never make older kids give in to my new wife after this was how she chose to handle the situation, yet I understand her point about needing to respected by her own kids and understand how my daughter is not helping the situation. If I had a time machine I would go back and make massive changes but I can't....reddit, I would love some help.

tl;dr: kids from first marriage won't call my wife Mommy and they are banished from the house. Would love some help.

r/relationships: Well, because I am a piece of human garbage with no character,

# ? Oct 10, 2023 19:27

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

If you're really a national level award-winning tradesman it can't be that hard to find a new job, right? Which means you can solve the wife situation on the way out too.

As for the new kids though, uhhh good luck buddy.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 19:31

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for leaning on my daughter for emotional support whilst she was on her honeymoon?
my husband(64M) of 40 years left me to pursue a life of alcoholism.

That's an option!?! I didn't even know that was an option!

# ? Oct 10, 2023 19:37

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

dumb as soup and very "country" hot

i fuckin hate this guy

# ? Oct 10, 2023 19:38

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Hughlander posted:

That's an option!?! I didn't even know that was an option!

it's like dedicating your life to the sea, only you don't need a boat and you don't need to go anywhere

welcome aboard, matey

# ? Oct 10, 2023 19:40

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Cythereal posted:

My [42 M] wife [28F] has banned by children [11M, 10F, 8M] from my first marriage from our house because they refuse to call her "Mommy" or "Mom." This is a deep situation with no easy solution.

r/relationships: Well, because I am a piece of human garbage with no character,

the update for that is loving wild

quote:

UPDATE (was originally deleted; got this through Reveddit)

So I took a lot of hate from that thread and probably deserved most of it. The key though was that someone recognized some particulars from my story and contacted me via PMs. We talked on the phone and so much of what he was saying made sense. I got off the phone with him and ordered a DNA test for the kids from my second marriage.

It turns out the first kid from my second marriage is absolutely not mine. The second child is. They both strongly resemble their mother but because of the circumstances of me and thier mom hooking up, I've always had a nag in the back of my head that something was not right. However, I do love the little boy...I've raised him this far and don't want to screw him over because of mistakes she and I made. So I put that in my back pocket and resolved to get my first kids welcome back in the house and figure out some resolution to our debt problem and a way to get under the thumb of my father in law.

First and foremost was getting my first three kids welcome in my house again. I got the DNA results back Monday but like I said, I resolved to not bring them up with my wife. However, when I said that my first three were going to be let in the house and that I would talk to them about respecting her better, she went irate. She called them every single name in the book that she could like M-fers, and my 10 year old daughter the C-word. In her rage, she even went into my daughter�s room in our house and smashed some antique porcelain horses that my great grandma had given to me to pass to my kids amongst several other things. It was then that I just let her have it.

I had printed off the results from the website and showed it to her and said this was my ticket out of the marriage. She broke down crying saying that obviously I was making it all up but as she went on, she admitted it was the truth and wanted to tell me who the father really was. I told her at the moment I didn't care (I do now, and I'm sure it will come out). I told her that she needed to call her dad to come pick her up because she was not welcome anymore. She relented to this and didn't even try to take the two kids with her, which says a lot about her as a mother.

Her dad and brothers showed up and there was some typical North LA rooster strutting but finally they just packed her stuff up and took her. My FIL was the calmest of the bunch and said we would have to talk about my job in the morning when things had calmed down. I actually slept like a baby that night with both kids cuddled up to me in my bed and made plans for all five kids to go to dinner with me on Tuesday night.

On Tuesday morning I walked into work and my FIL, who is a big burly guy but looked like a defeated man. I assumed I was fired but he actually said that he couldn't bear to lose me as an employee. That he had suspected the truth about his grandkid for a long time. I told him that I needed the week off at least and I would think about the job, but that obviously since I wasn't married to his daughter things would have to be different. He said that was fine. In the mean time, I've put out feelers to competitors to see what they may be able to offer me. I feel I'm in a great negotiating position either way.

So dinner with the five kids last night was great. Without my wife around, all of us got along and joked and had a great time. My ex wife and her husband showed up about half way through by pure chance (I had not told them where we were going) and I asked them to join us, and the three adults had a nice time with each other, which had also been impossible with my new wife around. Yes I have a long road ahead of me, and I have no idea what the future is going to be if the father of MY fourth child does show up. Lots of things need to be hashed out. Lots and lots of unanswered questions about the future of my family and work. So far in two days my new (but soon to be ex) wife has not called, emailed, texted or tried to stop by the house to see her kids. I have no idea where she is.

To answer some specific accusations or question from the first thread most asked:

Most people accused me of being a bad person. I did some bad things and maybe was a bad person but I'm really going to make an effort to take care of the people i have to take care of. I have a lot of stuff to figure out right now, but I think I'm on a better road.

How am I so dumb and still be making over $200,000 a year? I admit, I am not a book smart guy. I'm just a country boy from Haughton, LA. But there are so many jobs down here in oil and NG it's not even funny. The truly dumb thing in my view is to get yourself in hundreds of thousands of student debt and fight for some desk job that pays $35k. My FIL�s company right now has 7 open positions that start at $65,000 plus full benefits and company life insurance with almost no experience necessary. You have to be willing to live in LA and work your rear end off, but it's a good living.

How do I call my new wife "dumb as soup?" I never did love her and she is a spoiled stupid brat who caused a lot of trouble. I did too, by sleeping with her while I was still married. But if you want to let that be a lesson to you, don't cheat on your great wife and ruin a good family with a dumb tramp.

Three people accused me of "fat shaming" in pms What the hell is fat shaming? My new wife went from being a literal calendar model to weighing almost 275lbs in 6 years. She also put us in debt, a lot of it which was her eating restaurant meals four times a day while she left our kids with a nanny. If a person like that doesn't deserve shame, who does?

tl;dr: Found out one of my kids is not mine, still love him, but kicked my wife out of the house. FIL doesn't want to fire me, apparently but there's a lot of stuff to figure out in the coming weeks and months.

Sounds like whatever lovely situations this dude ends up in are fully deserved. Wild that the guy bragging about making $200k a year is apparently thrown into debt from eating out too much but I would assume he got taken to the cleaners for child support.

Also aren't there chronic substance abuse problems for most people working those oil/gas jobs? I always see it mentioned as one of those HS degree make 6 figs buy your own house but then there's a ton of negative circumstances that go along with it.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 19:54

Deformed Church: May 12, 2012; 5'5", IQ 81

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for gifting my twins differently on their birthdays?

I know we've kind of moved on from this, but it's just sitting in my mind because does OP know what a car is for?? Like, maybe your son does want a car thats nice to look at and fun to work on and just drive about, but what your kids actually want/need is long term independent transport, and you've give one of them the endless opportunities that affords, and you've given the other one nice handbag. Presumably because you don't think of the girl child as a whole individual person because you're a fuckhead.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 20:00

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Doing some quick math based on both posts:

He said he was married to his first wife for just over 10 years.

His daughter is 10, and is the middle kid.

He met his second wife about six years ago, and they've had two kids since (well first one wasn't his).

Good thing he's making 200k a year because raising five kids in LA (assuming child support for the first three) cannot be cheap.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 20:06

Kei Technical: Sep 20, 2011

ApplesandOranges posted:

Good thing he's making 200k a year because raising five kids in LA (assuming child support for the first three) cannot be cheap.

Louisiana, not Los Angeles. We can assume the gators will get one or two by the time they grow up.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 20:08

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

"typical North LA rooster strutting" makes a lot more sense now

# ? Oct 10, 2023 20:09

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

ApplesandOranges posted:

Doing some quick math based on both posts:

He said he was married to his first wife for just over 10 years.

His daughter is 10, and is the middle kid.

He met his second wife about six years ago, and they've had two kids since (well first one wasn't his).

Good thing he's making 200k a year because raising five kids in LA (assuming child support for the first three) cannot be cheap.

I think it's Louisiana, not Los Angeles

# ? Oct 10, 2023 20:10

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

This is what happens when you let your country use the same abbreviations for multiple places to live.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 20:12

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

no he's talking about all the roughneck jobs in los angeles

# ? Oct 10, 2023 20:12

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Foo Diddley posted:

"typical North LA rooster strutting" makes a lot more sense now

Texans have a very short list of states we can look down on and LA is one of em so I can't make heads or tails of what a north LA rooster is compared to a south-LA chicken. Is north Louisiana where the swamps stop or something, in my mind the whole place is a below sea level bog world.

Had some family do oil work, seems cursed to me. The 3 uncles who did it definitely seemed to have more money than my dad, but they also had Problems and one of ems dead now, not directly to the oil gig but during one of his short breaks from the rig trying to see his daughter. Seems like a miserable lifestyle aside from the money, which I have to assume is vastly underpaying and overworking these workers anyhow, even if it's more money than I'll ever earn in a year. I ate my lunch too fast and felt sleepy and took a nap, that's enough work hardship for the week for me.

Khanstant fucked around with this message at 20:30 on Oct 10, 2023

# ? Oct 10, 2023 20:25

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# ? May 28, 2024 07:26

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

pentyne posted:

Sounds like whatever lovely situations this dude ends up in are fully deserved. Wild that the guy bragging about making $200k a year is apparently thrown into debt from eating out too much but I would assume he got taken to the cleaners for child support.

Also aren't there chronic substance abuse problems for most people working those oil/gas jobs? I always see it mentioned as one of those HS degree make 6 figs buy your own house but then there's a ton of negative circumstances that go along with it.

I don't know how true this is of the Louisiana oil industry in particular but a lot of those jobs aren't 100% stable either. Being the boss's son in law (and apparently an actual good worker besides) means he doesn't have to worry about layoffs but I'm guessing a certain percentage of that 200k comes from overtime and bonuses that you might not get in lean years. If your income is subject to periodic dips and you keep up the same spending habits regardless you can gently caress up your finances pretty good.

# ? Oct 10, 2023 20:25

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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