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An old friend of mine ended up fostering two boys, one about eight and one 10 going on 50, they'd been in the system for a while, and their last foster home had insisted on them calling the parents, mom and dad and all the kids that tey're straight siblings and not half siblings or foster siblings. Amazingly enough, this did not make a good family environment, so they were definitely bitter when they went to her place. And yet somehow it must have been witchcraft, she treated them like people, never demanded that they call her mom, and within a month or two both of them saw her as a maternal figure to the point they would actually open up and talk to her about their issues. Last I heard legal adoption was in the process by the kids' choice. Just thinking about hard it can be to introduce new fish, new cats, new animals in general to each other. There's a reason a lot of dog and cat adoptions fail when the family already has a cat or dog. And like with kids. It's because you want to force the acclimation right now on your terms without seeing what's actually best for them. AITA for disrespecting my husband's religious views? quote:I (53F) have been married to my husband Peter (M51) for 17 years. We have two kids, Joan (15) and Eric (17). Peter and I have been best friends for the majority of our time together, but things changed.
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Oct 11, 2023 20:55
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mllaneza posted:I just figured out that I've become lactose intolerant in my mid-50s. It sucks. I did find a nice coconut/almond creamer to replace half n half, and it's actually good. It's surprising how long it takes to figure it out for people who develop it later in life. I learned that aged cheeses are extremely forgiving, typically having very little lactose left, and that actual Lactaid pills are pretty cheap - if I want to have a occasional milkshake, I'm basically paying an extra $0.10 tax for the price of not suffering afterward.
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Oct 11, 2023 20:56
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DoctorTristan posted:You’d think someone who’d read most of the books would manage to get even one of the pronoun cases right Xun posted:I mean he did gently caress up thee and thou, unforgivable really He started by addressing the dad with "thou," which is the informal second-person pronoun used for children, pets, social inferiors, intimate friends, and God (who you hope is your intimate friend). Addressing someone you've just met with "thee" and "thou" is immensely insulting unless you happen to be a nineteenth-century Quaker. Seventeenth-century Quakers, who purposely chose to address everyone with "thee" and "thou" as they believed all people were equals, routinely got threatened for it. Pope Hilarius II posted:Not only that, forms ending on "-est" are 2nd person singular, not 1st person. Somehow I have always detested people who attempt to actually speak Shakespearean / Original King James Bible English (same for people who do the equivalent thing in Dutch) because it kind of feels like part of the whole cargo culting "being a man of culture" in the same category as wearing fedoras, and I'm even more dismayed when they completely flub it like this goober did. It's like you've smugly shat yourself and the poo poo didn't even come out right. A few from Carolyn Hax quote:Dear Carolyn: My husband and I own a vacation cabin, which we have always encouraged my son and his wife to use on their own. This year, they were planning to visit us at the cabin for a week, then remain on their own for a week, which we were fine with. But recently, I learned that for the second week, they had invited my daughter-in-law’s parents to stay there as well. quote:Dear Carolyn: Although I have a loving relationship with my adult kids, who live far away, it hurts me that I never receive gifts or even a card on my birthday or Mother’s Day. They call me, and they think that’s enough. Meanwhile, I faithfully acknowledge their birthdays and their partners’ with either a gift or a card and cash, and if we’re together, their dad and I always treat to a celebratory meal out. This year was my 65th birthday, and again all I got was phone calls. Is it time for me to stop sending them and their partners gifts?
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Oct 11, 2023 20:58
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Cowslips Warren posted:
No. Stop. Don't go. Oh, no. Is this brain damage or main character syndrome do you think?
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Oct 11, 2023 20:59
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Cowslips Warren posted:
Weird how you never hear about someone suffering a traumatic brain injury and becoming more liberal and kind. Except that one movie with Harrison Ford, I guess.
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Oct 11, 2023 21:03
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trickybiscuits posted:grinch-y She's worse than the Grinch since the Grinch owns one place and lives there. Unoccupied houses are offensive while people remain unhoused. I don't think people should even be allowed to own second homes and if they do, the second they aren't actively occupying it someone else should.
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Oct 11, 2023 21:09
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mllaneza posted:I just figured out that I've become lactose intolerant in my mid-50s. It sucks. I did find a nice coconut/almond creamer to replace half n half, and it's actually good. I have to be careful if I take antibiotics for any reason that now it seems to beeline for the lactose eating bacteria and I get an unexpected dice roll after lunch.
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Oct 11, 2023 21:16
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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA for disrespecting my husband's religious views? thank you god, for giving me a second chance to be a controlling, misogynist piece of poo poo
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Oct 11, 2023 21:18
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CitizenKain posted:I have to be careful if I take antibiotics for any reason that now it seems to beeline for the lactose eating bacteria and I get an unexpected dice roll after lunch. That's a common side effect, unfortunately.
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Oct 11, 2023 21:56
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I chose the right username, as I developed a severe reaction to dairy in my 20s. It has even made me vomit, painfully.
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Oct 11, 2023 22:14
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Cowslips Warren posted:An old friend of mine ended up fostering two boys, one about eight and one 10 going on 50, they'd been in the system for a while, and their last foster home had insisted on them calling the parents, mom and dad and all the kids that tey're straight siblings and not half siblings or foster siblings. Amazingly enough, this did not make a good family environment, so they were definitely bitter when they went to her place. And yet somehow it must have been witchcraft, she treated them like people, never demanded that they call her mom, and within a month or two both of them saw her as a maternal figure to the point they would actually open up and talk to her about their issues. Last I heard legal adoption was in the process by the kids' choice. oh so he went full kevin sorbo. divorce + murder is my verdit.
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Oct 11, 2023 22:20
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snergle posted:oh so he went full kevin sorbo. divorce + murder is my verdict. But if you flip the order then you don't have to go through with the other.
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Oct 11, 2023 22:26
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wheatpuppy posted:Weird how you never hear about someone suffering a traumatic brain injury and becoming more liberal and kind. Except that one movie with Harrison Ford, I guess. It's because the conservative christian views are true and the near death experience brings them closer to god, duh. 
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Oct 11, 2023 22:28
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Starts off worryingly abusive, turns wholesome AF. My (m34) wife (f32) has been cutting the strings off my pajama pants and she won’t admit to it. Not sure why? quote:For background sake, we have been married for 10 years. This behavior is pretty recent.
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Oct 11, 2023 22:28
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Neito posted:No. Stop. Don't go. Oh, no. There's lots of case studies in medical literature of dramatic personality changes following injuries to the brain. Sucks for the family and the husband. I don't remember reading any cases that reverted back unfortunately. Sucks for the OP and her family. Sounds like the husband wasn't a chud before. Just sad all around.
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Oct 11, 2023 22:29
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IIRC certain traumatic but non-fatal brain injuries cause the centres of higher thinking to break down, and the lizard parts of the brain (e.g. those concerned with keeping you and yours safe, with safeguarding the 'den' etc.) to take precedence, which is why conservatism and its emphasis on not changing anything/keeping things familiar tends to appeal to anyone with such injuries. It isn't a conscious decision to be a shithead, it's just that those people are in constant "I AM IN CONDITION YELLOW" 24/7. I'm not excusing their behaviour, mind you, especially if it hurts anyone other than them, but I am saying that it has understandable causes.
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Oct 11, 2023 22:43
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Fatty posted:Starts off worryingly abusive, turns wholesome AF. This is hilarious. Also reminds me of when I was a kid, and our kitten ended up with short whiskers. Somehow. My mom was sure that my brother or I were taking scissors and cutting his whiskers down for some reason, and both of us denied it because neither of us had done it. She finally solved the mystery when she found our older cat laying down with the kitten and for reasons I still don't know, she was biting his whiskers off and keeping them very short to his face, whenever she groomed him. AITA For not including my ex-wife's step-kids in activities I do with my kids. quote:My ex-wife (39F) and I (42M) divorced about 4 years ago after 12 years of marriage. We have 2 kids together (10 & 8). We live about 30-minutes apart and have split custody but the kids live with me primarily during the school year because I live in a much better school district. The kids spend 3 weekends a month with their mom during this time. My ex and I co-parent pretty well in my opinion and usually get along fine.
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Oct 11, 2023 22:47
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Cowslips Warren posted:An old friend of mine ended up fostering two boys, one about eight and one 10 going on 50, they'd been in the system for a while, and their last foster home had insisted on them calling the parents, mom and dad and all the kids that tey're straight siblings and not half siblings or foster siblings. Amazingly enough, this did not make a good family environment, so they were definitely bitter when they went to her place. And yet somehow it must have been witchcraft, she treated them like people, never demanded that they call her mom, and within a month or two both of them saw her as a maternal figure to the point they would actually open up and talk to her about their issues. Last I heard legal adoption was in the process by the kids' choice. Traumatic Brain Injury sucks for everyone’s in the victim’s, if that’s the right word, life. Like, huuuuge changes in personalities, values, etc, that don’t start to kick in for months or years. And none of the brain scans can find where the continual damage is occurring. It sucks so much even when it isn’t Tila Tequila levels of hate and fear. Bored fucked around with this message at 23:23 on Oct 11, 2023 |
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Oct 11, 2023 23:10
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Cowslips Warren posted:This is hilarious. Also reminds me of when I was a kid, and our kitten ended up with short whiskers. Somehow. My mom was sure that my brother or I were taking scissors and cutting his whiskers down for some reason, and both of us denied it because neither of us had done it. She finally solved the mystery when she found our older cat laying down with the kitten and for reasons I still don't know, she was biting his whiskers off and keeping them very short to his face, whenever she groomed him. I hadn't thought of it for years, but my sister's little Burmese girl used to do that to one of the 2 kittens we got later. We reckoned he let her get away with it because he was amazingly stupid and thought he was getting special attention, because she never tried that with his brother. Cats are weird.
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Oct 11, 2023 23:11
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Fatty posted:Starts off worryingly abusive, turns wholesome AF. lol 
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Oct 11, 2023 23:22
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Batterypowered7 posted:But if you flip the order then you don't have to go through with the other. Cadaver synod except for divorce.
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Oct 11, 2023 23:28
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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA for disrespecting my husband's religious views? Oof. NTA, but OP needs to seriously consider divorce at this point because things aren't going to get better. Considering that her husband was in a coma for a wheatpuppy posted:Weird how you never hear about someone suffering a traumatic brain injury and becoming more liberal and kind. Except that one movie with Harrison Ford, I guess. There's something about TBIs that seems to cause the brain to revise the personality into something more selfish and less pleasant, yeah. Could be a defense mechanism, the way a wounded animal will try to lash out at anyone who comes near it; the brain is aware that something is very wrong, but doesn't know how to fix it and it's not like medical science right now can fix a lot of it. CommissarMega posted:IIRC certain traumatic but non-fatal brain injuries cause the centres of higher thinking to break down, and the lizard parts of the brain (e.g. those concerned with keeping you and yours safe, with safeguarding the 'den' etc.) to take precedence, which is why conservatism and its emphasis on not changing anything/keeping things familiar tends to appeal to anyone with such injuries. It isn't a conscious decision to be a shithead, it's just that those people are in constant "I AM IN CONDITION YELLOW" 24/7. I'm not excusing their behaviour, mind you, especially if it hurts anyone other than them, but I am saying that it has understandable causes. Yup. This, basically. Conservatism goes "we just want to keep you and yours safe from all the bad things out in the world, and there's so many bad things", and you need well-developed abilities to examine their claims and pick it apart and see the bullshit that lies under the surface. And someone with a TBI doesn't know they have a problem with that any more. ETA: fixed the timing (I misread and thought it'd been a year, not a month). I also checked the subreddit, and the mods locked the comments before anyone but the bots had replied. tinytort fucked around with this message at 00:07 on Oct 12, 2023 |
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Oct 11, 2023 23:47
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Fatty posted:Starts off worryingly abusive, turns wholesome AF. lol cats are assholes but they rule so much
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Oct 11, 2023 23:53
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I want to contribute to TBI chat because of my injuries by saying I became more progressive after my horrific brain injury (gunshot wound to the head). I grew up Republican and even supported Bush and McCain, but only really changed to a progressive the more I learned about politics and looking at the advantages I have that everyone else should also have. Whether that was from the injury or just becoming more politically aware, who knows. I did have family and friends tell me a bunch I changed. Whether that was from the injury itself or being in war, who knows. My sister and mom have said I've gotten angrier as time has gone on, but that's mainly because I don't like interacting with the retired cop FIL of my sister and I refuse outright to engage in any way with my sister's BIL that worked in the Governor Pence administration and then in the Trump administration for a couple of years. I also stopped treating my grandmother and aunts with respect the more I learned how racist they were, plus the Trump support. Then again the doctors also can't tell me what type of TBI I have. They've told me its medically impossible for me not to have one but what that means? 
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Oct 12, 2023 00:02
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FMguru posted:LOL Dude experiences massive psychic and emotional damage just being adjacent to someone quietly enjoying something he doesn't like. Guys like this are why "but what about the meat eaters" complaints at vegan wedding receptions exist. Fatty posted:Starts off worryingly abusive, turns wholesome AF. I was getting "wife hides all her dirty dishes in the closet" vibes off this story till the end  Baron Zephyrus posted:AITA for saying "circumcision" when the office lady wouldn't stop asking me what my sick day was for? lol at the people in this guy's life telling him he can just walk away from conversations at work like he's talking to a Bethesda npc I mean you can do that tbf but they're going to be just as pissed Deified Data fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Oct 12, 2023 |
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Oct 12, 2023 00:13
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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA for disrespecting my husband's religious views? almost reads like bait
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Oct 12, 2023 00:21
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Cowslips Warren posted:An old friend of mine ended up fostering two boys, one about eight and one 10 going on 50, they'd been in the system for a while, and their last foster home had insisted on them calling the parents, mom and dad and all the kids that tey're straight siblings and not half siblings or foster siblings. Amazingly enough, this did not make a good family environment, so they were definitely bitter when they went to her place. And yet somehow it must have been witchcraft, she treated them like people, never demanded that they call her mom, and within a month or two both of them saw her as a maternal figure to the point they would actually open up and talk to her about their issues. Last I heard legal adoption was in the process by the kids' choice. Its weird how consistently brain injuries make people conservative and religious. I've never heard a single example of some religious conservative getting a head injury and suddenly waking up woke, it's always the reverse.
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Oct 12, 2023 00:42
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AITA for telling my friend’s GF to stop this poo poo when she pulled out tarot cards?quote:I put a TLDR right at the bottom reddit is full of YTA and telling him he should have just kept saying No, but at some point if the No doesn't work, I think it's okay to scream it.
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Oct 12, 2023 00:42
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Imagine his girlfriend was a Baptist and kept puking out the Bible and asking to go over a chapter with you
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Oct 12, 2023 00:50
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John Wick of Dogs posted:Imagine his girlfriend was a Baptist and kept puking out the Bible and asking to go over a chapter with you Yeah this is where Im at. Just cause your religion isnt organized doesn't mean I gotta deal with it all day.
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Oct 12, 2023 00:51
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Why did the cat only take his pajama strings and not the wife’s?
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Oct 12, 2023 00:55
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ApplesandOranges posted:Why did the cat only take his pajama strings and not the wife’s? Because she's home with the pants on and he's at work and maybe leaves his PJs strewn about the house.
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Oct 12, 2023 00:58
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John Wick of Dogs posted:Imagine his girlfriend was a Baptist and kept puking out the Bible and asking to go over a chapter with you Is this a reverse The Exorcist situation?
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Oct 12, 2023 01:00
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Whenever I hear about the drastic, and often detrimental, personality changes that can come from a TBI, I am eternally grateful that mine really only just practically nuked my short term memory, and gave me seizures that destroy my ability to read and spell for a short time.
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Oct 12, 2023 01:35
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ApplesandOranges posted:Why did the cat only take his pajama strings and not the wife’s? To sow mistrust and discord among his rivals. Divide and conquer.
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Oct 12, 2023 01:35
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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA for telling my friend’s GF to stop this poo poo when she pulled out tarot cards? ugh, losing your cool and yelling at someone is such a leo thing to do
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Oct 12, 2023 01:42
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Barudak posted:Yeah this is where Im at. Just cause your religion isnt organized doesn't mean I gotta deal with it all day. insisting to talk about anything someone doesn't want to is rude as anything, religion or not
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Oct 12, 2023 01:59
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Imagine having plans with a friend and they choose to bring their partner without invitation
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Oct 12, 2023 02:24
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AngryRobotsInc posted:Whenever I hear about the drastic, and often detrimental, personality changes that can come from a TBI, I am eternally grateful that mine really only just practically nuked my short term memory, and gave me seizures that destroy my ability to read and spell for a short time. Round these parts we call that a good time
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Oct 12, 2023 02:31
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ApplesandOranges posted:Why did the cat only take his pajama strings and not the wife’s? Maybe the cat likes the husband's scent more than the wife's and wants to play with them more? Maybe the cat has easier access to his strings and is lazy? Maybe his pants are made of material the cat likes more? Or maybe the wife's pants' strings are more "attached" or otherwise harder to get? Cats are weird little assholes and do things for reasons we can't always fully understand. I love them so much. litany of gulps posted:To sow mistrust and discord among his rivals. Divide and conquer. Also possible.
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Oct 12, 2023 02:43
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