buttcoin: my kids know me as this ape

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > buttcoin: my kids know me as this ape

«‹›1482 »

Deep Dish Fuckfest: Sep 6, 2006; Advanced
Computer Touching; Toilet Rascal

fizzy posted:

an innocent boy who said "gently caress regulators"

he learned that kind of language from caroline! she was a bad influence on him and he didn't know better

# ? Oct 14, 2023 18:08

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 1, 2024 17:21

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Deep Dish Fuckfest posted:

no! he's just an innocent boy who made mistakes everyone makes in their youth. you can't use such crude language!

there comes a time in every smol boi's life when he thinks "why don't I create a bunch of unregulated securities and use them to launder money and divert funds for my harebrained futurism schemes", haven't we all been there

# ? Oct 14, 2023 18:09

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

https://twitter.com/TrungTPhan/status/1710368079686078682

What is it about Bayesian analysis that lends itself to morons using it to prove dumb poo poo like this? Whenever I see something on this level of stupid and crazy it almost always involves Bayes. Like IIRC Eripsa loving loved Bayes.

I know that this was 18 pages ago, but it's really loving telling that he thinks artists are born and not made :biotruths:

# ? Oct 14, 2023 18:22

Zopotantor: Feb 24, 2013; ...und ist er drin dann lassen wir ihn niemals wieder raus...

Beeftweeter posted:

https://reuters.com/business/autos-transportation/ferrari-accept-crypto-payment-its-cars-us-2023-10-14/

what could go wrong?

they won't sell many that way. real coiners would never accept Ferraris, it has to be Lambos.

# ? Oct 14, 2023 18:28

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Shumagorath posted:

ferrari about to find out OFAC are not as receptive to rules lawyering as FIA

personally I'm excited to see the manner in which they gently caress this up

# ? Oct 14, 2023 18:31

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

notwithoutmyanus posted:

I'd be shocked if they find him not guilty after literally everyone saying "yes, we crimed. and by we, we mean Scam Bankrun-Fraud".

There's an investment banker on the jury. I honestly think anything is possible right now.

# ? Oct 14, 2023 18:41

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

are there any people protesting outside the courtroom with signs like "making a website is not a crime wtf" or did sam manage to make everyone in bitcoin his enemy

# ? Oct 14, 2023 18:43

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

FAUXTON posted:

personally I'm excited to see the manner in which they gently caress this up

Leclerc coming down the back straight to finally claim a checkered flag, but the track gets flooded by marshals and he is pulled from the car by federal agents. Race feed goes black Holy Grail style.

It�s later revealed that Red Bull were responsible for the tainted bitcoins.

# ? Oct 14, 2023 18:45

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Shumagorath posted:

Leclerc coming down the back straight to finally claim a checkered flag, but the track gets flooded by marshals and he is pulled from the car by federal agents. Race feed goes black Holy Grail style.

It’s later revealed that Red Bull were responsible for the tainted bitcoins.

horner giving nervous interviews about their catercoins

# ? Oct 14, 2023 19:07

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

DJ Burette posted:

I know that the twitter feed of the trial is just a summary and can't be wholy relied on, but the trial seems completely sewn up. The sheer volume of criminal evidence they put into writing, dozens of fraudulent balance sheets etc, combined with all the witness and cooperating defendants lining up to say we defrauded/were defrauded, doesn't leave much room for the defence.

The jurors have to end up actually believing that the criminal activity was actually a crime, and as I mentioned before, there is an investment banker sitting on that jury.

# ? Oct 14, 2023 19:09

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

Boxturret posted:

are there any people protesting outside the courtroom with signs like "making a website is not a crime wtf" or did sam manage to make everyone in bitcoin his enemy

he's not really getting anything more than token thoughts and prayers from other coiners

I think you're right about him having made an enemy of everyone.

# ? Oct 14, 2023 19:10

Relevant Tangent: Nov 18, 2016; Tangentially Relevant

qirex posted:

mother is displeased

she birthed the Crimularity but it was really her ethical teachings that helped him reach his full potential

# ? Oct 14, 2023 19:20

Eeyo: Aug 29, 2004

Potato Salad posted:

The jurors have to end up actually believing that the criminal activity was actually a crime, and as I mentioned before, there is an investment banker sitting on that jury.

i was thinking the investment banker would be more likely to vote guilty. like they�d know enough to be like �yeah all that was bad and he�s guilty�

# ? Oct 14, 2023 19:21

DerekSmartymans: Feb 14, 2005; The
Copacetic
Ascetic

Eeyo posted:

i was thinking the investment banker would be more likely to vote guilty. like they�d know enough to be like �yeah all that was bad and he�s guilty�

He may actually know what we know: Cryptocurrency is all scams and needs to be quarantined then shot.

# ? Oct 14, 2023 19:39

Chris Knight: Jun 5, 2002; me @ ur posts; Fun Shoe

Shumagorath posted:

ferrari about to find out OFAC are not as receptive to rules lawyering as FIA

lmao

# ? Oct 14, 2023 19:48

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

tired: "be your own bank"
wired: "we are checking"

# ? Oct 14, 2023 20:03

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

seems legit

https://twitter.com/poliebotics/status/1713025671444804076?s=46&t=m_nNbkNoHG4lLitcpyHReg

# ? Oct 14, 2023 20:24

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

smellmycheese posted:

seems legit

https://twitter.com/poliebotics/status/1713025671444804076?s=46&t=m_nNbkNoHG4lLitcpyHReg

big transpotimer energy here

# ? Oct 14, 2023 20:26

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

it was stupid and did the usual "missed the entire point" thing that every technological solution to social problems does but otherwise an unremarkable crypto idea... until it got to the bit about marbles and cans creating one-way function dimensional reactors

# ? Oct 14, 2023 20:36

refleks: Nov 21, 2006

Eripsa, is that you?

# ? Oct 14, 2023 20:37

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

like i don't think it's entirely just a crazy person's ramblings but i do think they're trying to make something they read about in some optics journal but with things they found around the house, and that's very funny

# ? Oct 14, 2023 20:38

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

i mean, it absolutely will not do the thing they claim it's intended to do.

calling it a "truth beam" is probably a solid indicator of the validity of the concept as well

# ? Oct 14, 2023 20:42

ymgve: Jan 2, 2004; Offensive Clock

in the olden days we just demanded someone put a shoe on their head

also not sure I understand all the details correctly but this seems to not be immune to things that only partially alter a scene, like snapchat/instagram filters

# ? Oct 14, 2023 20:45

...!: Oct 5, 2003; I SHOULD KEEP MY DUMB MOUTH SHUT INSTEAD OF SPEWING HORSESHIT ABOUT THE ORBITAL MECHANICS OF THE JAMES WEBB SPACE TELESCOPE.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT A LAGRANGE POINT IS?

From Slate:

It's long but worth it. Sam crimes in a way the rest of us could only dream of

quote:

Prosecutors Played a Stunning Recording at the SBF Trial. It Sure Sounded Bad for Him!
We heard exactly what Caroline Ellison said in an infamous meeting.

BY NITISH PAHWA
OCT 12, 20239:12 PM

Lordy, there were tapes.

During Thursday�s proceedings in The United States v. Samuel Bankman-Fried, Caroline Ellison finally exited the stand�well, kinda. There was a lengthy cross-examination, a baffling affair in which SBF lawyer Mark Cohen asked plenty of repetitive, circular questions that, again, spurred visible annoyance from Judge Lewis A. Kaplan (and multiple grueling sidebar sessions). But the star of the day wasn�t so much Ellison as it was her recorded voice. The onetime Alameda Research CEO was followed on the stand a former underling: Christian Drappi, a software engineer who started working at Alameda around May 2021 and resigned just before the firm went under. However, unlike prior witnesses Adam Yedidia and Gary Wang, Drappi related no post-collapse drama about fleeing the Bahamas. Instead, he offered the ultimate inside view of the room where it happened, �it� being an infamous all-hands meeting last November where Ellison informed her teams of what had gone down.

The dark-haired Drappi quickly, bluntly explained why he was in court. As an Alameda coder, he interacted with the crypto hedge fund�s traders �every day,� because �they decided what I should be working on� with regard to site functionality. One of those decisionmakers was Sam Bankman-Fried�who is accused of misappropriating his FTX customer funds by funneling them through the very company, Alameda, that remained far more intermingled with the crypto exchange than was publicly disclosed at the time.

SBF�s presence in Alameda business wasn�t so strange at first, since Drappi started there when SBF was still its chief executive. But even after Ellison and Sam Trabucco were deemed the company�s co-CEOs in August 2021, it was �common knowledge� among his colleagues that the other Sam was basically running stuff. How did Drappi know? Well, he often had a firsthand view of Alameda operations, having worked at various points from all its far-flung offices�in San Francisco, the Bahamas, and Hong Kong. At the latter, Drappi told the prosecution, he sat pretty close to SBF; in the Bahamas, he played paddle tennis with the FTX mastermind. More to the point, Drappi could see that SBF remained closely involved with the company: The ex�Alameda CEO �maintained direct communication with Alameda employees, weighed in on trading decisions, and still had access to Alameda data� through the internal user interface. SBF was able to gain that interface access because he asked Drappi himself to reauthorize his permission after an IP address change at Alameda locked him out. (Only a �few� other FTX employees had such privileges, Drappi later informed the defense, including Wang, Nishad Singh, and Ryan Salame.)

Furthermore, there were indeed some sketchy moments. Sometime in 2022, Drappi learned of SBF�s influence on Alameda trades after he stumbled upon a stray company Slack message about selling and trading Japanese bonds and yen, not a usual line of business for the hedge fund. When Drappi inquired about this to the company�s head of trading, Ben Xie, he was told that �Sam wanted it.� Later that year, Drappi would also learn from Xie about Alameda�s attempts to sell NASDAQ futures as a hedge against the suffering crypto market � and that it was also an SBF decision.

But the most revealing event occurred on Nov. 8, 2022, when Drappi was working late at the Hong Kong office with Caroline Ellison and two other colleagues, Tony Qian and David Nyeste. �What�s this?� Qian reportedly blurted out at one point. �Are you seeing this?� This was a tweet from Sam Bankman-Fried, announcing that crypto exchange Binance (whose CEO, yes, had just cast some consequential doubts on FTX�s monetary health) was going to acquire FTX.

�I was utterly shocked,� Drappi related on Thursday. He said he wondered why FTX was getting bought at all, much less by such a major competitor�the world�s single largest crypto exchange. Ellison, sitting near him, informed him of another fact that left Drappi �utterly shocked�: that FTX had a major shortfall in user funds thanks to Alameda�s freewheeling use of them. Before that moment, Drappi testified, he�d had no idea that FTX customer assets were so commingled with the very company he worked for. Just because SBF hovered over so many decisions didn�t necessarily mean that he was also directing that kind of decision�did it?

The next day, Nov. 9, Caroline Ellison perched herself atop a beanbag chair to command an already-scheduled all-hands meeting for Alameda staff�this one fated to be far grimmer than the others. The fact this meeting happened, and that Ellison let her employees know there that FTX and Alameda had been inappropriately co-dependent for a long time, has been known for a while; the Wall Street Journal had reported on it just a few days afterward. This trial marked the first time, though, that actual audio from the fateful gathering entered the public record. Apparently, Drappi said, his colleague Rick Best�who�d only �joined three days prior��secretly recorded the meeting without telling anyone, passing the files along to Drappi after the fact. The software engineer then consulted with an attorney and submitted the recordings to the government, which put some of those files on a CD for the court�s benefit. (A fun note: Before Drappi entered the premises, the prosecution�s mention of the audio fueled a lengthy session of bickering between both sides over whether such evidence, which included voices of people not considered co-conspirators, was appropriate for the trial. Kaplan allowed the recordings and even granted the defense an opportunity to present some meeting audio of its own, despite the government�s own objection. More on that later.)

The first clip solely featured Ellison, who kicked off the meeting by laying out the �basic story here�: �Starting last year, Alameda was kinda borrowing a bunch of money via open-term loans and using that to make various illiquid investments��referring to the startup investments SBF had purportedly ordered to be carried out with customer money. Between the extant loans, the announcement from Binance (which had dropped its FTX bid earlier in the day), and the still-smarting crypto crash from earlier in the year, FTX was �not going to be able to meet, like, the withdrawal pressure� that it now faced as worried clients begged for their money back. Ellison�s beanbag demeanor, Drappi recalled, was �sunken� and �slouching�: �She did not display confident body language.�

The second clip featured Christian Drappi himself, asking his boss whether FTX/Alameda planned to pay off those obligations. Ellison likewise didn�t sound too confident here, stating that this problem had lingered for a while, thanks to the Alameda lenders who�d begun recalling their loans in the summer. �Our plan to wait for several months and for market environments to improve did not work out,� Ellison responded in part, giggling afterward.

The third clip also featured Drappi, talking through his understanding of the complex situation. �The biggest factor is the loan we have in FTX,� he reasoned, also realizing that, thanks to its special privileges with the sister exchange, Alameda hadn�t put up any substantive collateral, as a typical customer would have to. �That seems pretty bad � �

The fourth clip consisted of Ellison getting into more nitty-gritty deets. �Our loan from FTX was used to repay� Alameda�s other lenders, she expounded, and was �used mostly to buy illiquid assets.� FTX equity shares made for a significant chunk of these cash-strapped assets, thanks in part to FTX�s buyback of the shares that had belonged to Binance. (As you may remember, this was another action SBF insisted on, per Ellison.) That alone took out $2 billion in liquid funds, adding to sizable investments taken out to sink inside other companies: $1 billion for the mining company Genesis Digital Assets, $500 million for the now-famed A.I. startup Anthropic, about $100 million or $200 million in crypto fund Voyager (but who�s counting?), and $300 million for the investment firm K5 Global (which is currently being sued by FTX�s bankruptcy-era owners, who would like that money bank, thank you much). Ellison giggled while delivering this verbal accounting, which, Drappi clarified, he understood from his personal experience with Ellison to be �nervous laughter.�

Drappi�s voice reappeared in the fifth clip, telling his CEO that �I�m sure this wasn�t a YOLO thing.� (He�d later spell out the acronym for the jury and explain how he used the term in this context, meaning, a pretty hasty and not-well-planned investment). Ellison acknowledged that she had �talked about it with Sam, Nishad, and Gary.� Those three again!

Finally, in the sixth clip, Ellison told another colleague that it�d been �Sam, I guess,� who�d approved all the poor investments. Within 24 hours of the meeting, Drappi then related, he resigned from Alameda.

Oh yeah, the defense did play one clip of its own, arguing that it presented a look into Ellison�s mood and motivations at the time. The audio came from a late moment in the meeting, when an unidentified speaker told Ellison that �I�m sure this is not that fun for you, but I certainly appreciate how open you�ve been.� The CEO, in turn: �Thanks, I mean, it was kinda fun, I don�t know,� a flagging conclusion accompanied by laughs across the meeting room. If the defense was trying to show that Ellison was not, in fact, as sad during that disastrous week as she�d claimed to have been, it didn�t seem very convincing; anyone who�s spent time in this courtroom over the past two weeks knows that in some tense situations, laughing is about the only thing you can do.

# ? Oct 14, 2023 20:50

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

til i independently invented the truth beam while creating an analogue video feedback loop with a projector and a handicam several years ago for an installation

# ? Oct 14, 2023 20:50

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Yeah I don�t know what the second bit is talking about but a chain of trust for video sources is probably something we�ll need pretty soon. developed by subject matter experts, not whoever this is

# ? Oct 14, 2023 20:55

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

Can the record show that Ms Ellison then proceeded to laugh like dracula after saying how fun losing all this money was??

# ? Oct 14, 2023 21:22

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

smellmycheese posted:

seems legit

https://twitter.com/poliebotics/status/1713025671444804076?s=46&t=m_nNbkNoHG4lLitcpyHReg

bunch of god drat hasholes

# ? Oct 14, 2023 21:22

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

i don't understand what the tin can full of broken marbles does here

# ? Oct 14, 2023 21:23

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

it looks pretty

# ? Oct 14, 2023 21:26

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Boxturret posted:

i don't understand what the tin can full of broken marbles does here

his name is sam and he does crimes

# ? Oct 14, 2023 21:32

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Drappi, lol.

# ? Oct 14, 2023 21:35

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

i liked the bit where there was a cavity and/or an orb

# ? Oct 14, 2023 21:59

Wachter: Mar 23, 2007; You and whose knees?

I got your Truth Beam right here *pisses pants*

# ? Oct 14, 2023 22:02

Erenthal: Jan 1, 2008; A relaxing walk in the woods; Grimey Drawer

We're going to create a comprehensive SBF source code documentation. Here.

First file is ftx / src / main.cpp. Feel free to correct me and guide me during this process. I know pretty much poo poo about coding. Yes, this might be completely inane but I am going to take that risk.

Let's start with these #crimes:

#crime "extraditiontreaties.h"
#crime "veganshrimp.h"
#crime "caroline.h"
#crime "polycule.h"
#crime "larrydavid.h"
#crime "dontlookhere.h"
#crime <games/riot/leagueoflegends.hpp>
#crime <boost/prescriptiondrugs.hpp>

What do each of these files do and refer to? What is the function of #crime?

# ? Oct 14, 2023 22:23

JAnon: Jul 16, 2023

Erenthal posted:

#crime "dontlookhere.h"

some sorta extortion/CP/tomfuckery bullshit. I dunno

# ? Oct 14, 2023 22:38

Beeftweeter: Jun 28, 2005; OFFICIAL #1 GNOME FAN

smellmycheese posted:

seems legit

https://twitter.com/poliebotics/status/1713025671444804076?s=46&t=m_nNbkNoHG4lLitcpyHReg

ahhh this is the good stuff. it's been a while

# ? Oct 14, 2023 22:39

Beeftweeter: Jun 28, 2005; OFFICIAL #1 GNOME FAN

Erenthal posted:

We're going to create a comprehensive SBF source code documentation. Here.

First file is ftx / src / main.cpp. Feel free to correct me and guide me during this process. I know pretty much poo poo about coding. Yes, this might be completely inane but I am going to take that risk.

Let's start with these #crimes:

#crime "extraditiontreaties.h"
#crime "veganshrimp.h"
#crime "caroline.h"
#crime "polycule.h"
#crime "larrydavid.h"
#crime "dontlookhere.h"
#crime <games/riot/leagueoflegends.hpp>
#crime <boost/prescriptiondrugs.hpp>

What do each of these files do and refer to? What is the function of #crime?

lol

where do i submit my patches? there's one here labeled "emsam"

# ? Oct 14, 2023 22:41

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

also it's a small detail but i do like how all the lil' icons they used for the webcams and projectors and computers and stuff look like they're from 2004

# ? Oct 14, 2023 22:42

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 1, 2024 17:21

Chalks: Sep 30, 2009

Shame Boy posted:

also it's a small detail but i do like how all the lil' icons they used for the webcams and projectors and computers and stuff look like they're from 2004

it's great, the little pictures of people could be straight out of windows vista

# ? Oct 14, 2023 22:45

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > buttcoin: my kids know me as this ape

«‹›1482 »