r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Slo-Tek: Jun 8, 2001; WINDOWS 98 BEAT HIS FRIEND WITH A SHOVEL

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for abandoning my daughter on vacation?

Yeah, that is incredibly lame and I hope it isn't true. Lying to a half dozen people and dicking with plans instead of saying "No" is rear end in a top hat behavior.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 03:23

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# ? May 30, 2024 12:23

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

I will not adapt to a chud society, no. It will be middle fingers and "gently caress you"s until my dying breath, whether that happens sooner or later as a esult.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 03:28

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Malachite_Dragon posted:

I will not adapt to a chud society, no. It will be middle fingers and "gently caress you"s until my dying breath, whether that happens sooner or later as a esult.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 03:36

Tarezax: Sep 12, 2009; MORT cancels dance: interrupted by MORT

Tarkus posted:

Here's a question. I notice a lot of people here, myself included, claim that as they get older they are going to do their best to adapt to the modern culture and at least be understanding of the new generation. What if, in say 30 years, the culture has swung the other way to being kind of chuddy. It's not an unreasonable thing to expect, poo poo changes in weird ways. Will you adapt?

Oh I will do my best to be understanding. I understand chuddery very well.

That's why I hate it.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 03:41

Silly Newbie: Jul 25, 2007; How do I?

Tarkus posted:

Here's a question. I notice a lot of people here, myself included, claim that as they get older they are going to do their best to adapt to the modern culture and at least be understanding of the new generation. What if, in say 30 years, the culture has swung the other way to being kind of chuddy. It's not an unreasonable thing to expect, poo poo changes in weird ways. Will you adapt?

A lot of people here claim that they want to adapt to modern culture as it progresses . I don't think anyone on the something awful forums in 2023 is down to go along with culture if it regresses. We're willing to adapt to stuff we don't know about yet that might be discovered in the future, but we are mostly aligned with the idea that the past was lovely.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 03:52

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Silly Newbie posted:

A lot of people here claim that they want to adapt to modern culture as it progresses . I don't think anyone on the something awful forums in 2023 is down to go along with culture if it regresses. We're willing to adapt to stuff we don't know about yet that might be discovered in the future, but we are mostly aligned with the idea that the past was lovely.

That's a good point. Though I would say that 'progress' can mean many things to different people. How about instead of saying that things have gotten chuddy, say they have simply progressed to a point that is no longer within your moral framework. You have notions of what people believe but you can't believe in those things simply because they're foreign to you at that point. How about then? I don't have a good answer.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 04:02

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Tarkus posted:

That's a good point. Though I would say that 'progress' can mean many things to different people. How about instead of saying that things have gotten chuddy, say they have simply progressed to a point that is no longer within your moral framework. You have notions of what people believe but you can't believe in those things simply because they're foreign to you at that point. How about then? I don't have a good answer.

It's like the bible says: stay true to thine own self, and to thine own self stay true

# ? Oct 17, 2023 04:09

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Biplane posted:

It's like the bible says: stay true to thine own self, and to thine own self stay true

That's a good answer!

# ? Oct 17, 2023 04:10

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Unless we experience some kind of rapid drastic shift to crystalline entities or some sci-fi poo poo, we've basically been dealing with the same problems for all of human history in different incarnations and resources tossed around.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 04:11

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Khanstant posted:

Unless we experience some kind of rapid drastic shift to crystalline entities or some sci-fi poo poo, we've basically been dealing with the same problems for all of human history in different incarnations and resources tossed around.

Are we not living in a time of unprecedented rate of change though? I mean, everything changes year to year and now month to month. It's like a loving whirlwind.

Aside from major cataclysms, I don't think we've experienced this kind of sustained rate of change as a species.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 04:21

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for abandoning my daughter on vacation?

This one made me scream "OH MY loving GOD DUDE" numerous times in my head.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 04:28

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

Biplane posted:

It's like the bible says: stay true to thine own self, and to thine own self stay true

Not to be a pedantic rear end in a top hat but I think that was Shakespeare.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 04:33

Slo-Tek: Jun 8, 2001; WINDOWS 98 BEAT HIS FRIEND WITH A SHOVEL

Tarkus posted:

Are we not living in a time of unprecedented rate of change though? I mean, everything changes year to year and now month to month. It's like a loving whirlwind.

Aside from major cataclysms, I don't think we've experienced this kind of sustained rate of change as a species.

Disagree. I'd actually say our grandparents had it weirder. Enormous society-shifting wars. Every liberation movement. Going from horses to automobiles to jumbo jets in a lifetime.

Travel is mechanically the same, just shittier, over the course of my lifetime. All of the political fuckery and corporate regulatory capture of democracy had happened by the time I was in middle school.
Cellphones and internet? Sure, that is different and presents different challenges, but I had a pretty plastic brain when that was happening.

I am the old man in my social groups now, and am pretty generation gapped by various transfolk. They are lovely people, and I'm glad to know them, but I keep thinking "That looks like a harder way to live" Don't say that, because nobody is asking, but even if the kids are OK, I don't quite get what they are up to.

Slo-Tek fucked around with this message at 05:20 on Oct 17, 2023

# ? Oct 17, 2023 05:06

Silly Newbie: Jul 25, 2007; How do I?

Tarkus posted:

That's a good point. Though I would say that 'progress' can mean many things to different people. How about instead of saying that things have gotten chuddy, say they have simply progressed to a point that is no longer within your moral framework. You have notions of what people believe but you can't believe in those things simply because they're foreign to you at that point. How about then? I don't have a good answer.

For an individual response, things have progressed beyond points within my moral framework in my lifetime, multiple times. I've taken the time and learned about them, and then adjusted my moral framework. That may be the difference between chuds and not-chuds entirely - the ability to take in new experiences and information and adjust your worldview and moral framework around or to include them.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 05:10

Cloacamazing!: Apr 18, 2018; Too cute to be evil

I'll just do the same thing I've always done: act according to what feels right and the most empathetic. That's usually worked out well for me.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 05:29

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Tarkus posted:

That's a good point. Though I would say that 'progress' can mean many things to different people. How about instead of saying that things have gotten chuddy, say they have simply progressed to a point that is no longer within your moral framework. You have notions of what people believe but you can't believe in those things simply because they're foreign to you at that point. How about then? I don't have a good answer.

IDK dude "everyone's a chud and has hosed-up alien morality" is just the experience of living as a non-evangelical in like 3/4 of the USA. How did you deal with it when most people were older than you?

You don't have to *like* everything the kids are up to these days, but whatever it is your life will probably go a lot more pleasantly if you accept that you aren't owed veto powers over the zeitgeist because you're old and blew your chance to avert this terrible present of tiktok dances and dumb slang

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 05:47 on Oct 17, 2023

# ? Oct 17, 2023 05:32

8one6: May 20, 2012; When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for abandoning my daughter on vacation?

OP should have put their foot down to begin with but I don't have any sympathy for the daughter who tried to turn her parent's vacation into a romantic vacation for herself while roping OP into free babysitting.

Sounds like OP had a great time.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 05:36

Jabor: Jul 16, 2010; #1 Loser at SpaceChem

"Sorry for paying for half your vacation, won't happen again"

# ? Oct 17, 2023 05:40

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

FMguru posted:

Also, that story from a few days back, where the woman marrying a widower said �I�m happy she died, otherwise I would have never gotten him to myself� at a family dinner got an update

Evil stepmother let the mask slip too soon. Gotta secure the bag first, babe,

I love it when horrible people realize they're in real trouble and start crying and begging. Especially since it takes them so long to realize it that by the time they do things are usually beyond fixing.

Khanstant posted:

Caveat emptor. Buyers be wearing

eta:

Ask Amy: Woman�s desire to rescue guy, teach him to be a decent human, fails spectacularly

quote:

Dear Amy: I have been in a relationship for the past eight months with a guy. Two months in, he lost his job and moved in with me and my daughter.

I took care of him and helped him to get a much better job. I wake up before him, pack his lunches, do his laundry, and cook and clean up after him.

He had a very bad drinking problem that would cause him to black out and act very badly. I also found out that he was connecting with other women the entire time.

Eventually, he cut out all hard alcohol. We would do well for a little while, but then he�d start drinking again and would verbally abuse me and leave me crying.

Afterward, I would explain how this was not OK!

We broke up about a week ago because he put his hands on me. I asked him to leave, and he did. I started to feel so much better, but of course I missed him like crazy.

My girlfriends took me out and I met a lawyer � very respectful, very kind, and he seems like a gentleman.

He asked me out for coffee.

Then my ex sent me a long message begging me to take him back.

We talked on the phone for hours about how what he did was wrong and how his life was so much worse without me.

I truly did love him. Although he treated me badly, we had a lot of good times. I don�t know what to do. What would you do?

� Conflicted Heart

Dear Conflicted: Please don�t ask me what I would do, because I can only think of the many things I wouldn�t do � starting with moving an unemployed and angry blackout drinker into my house with a daughter also there.

Problem averted!

Your judgment seems to be extremely flawed when it comes to this person, and while you obviously take pride in your martyrdom, another way to see this is to understand that your choice to take the word of a lying abuser over your own experience is extremely risky.

Your desire to rescue this man and patiently teach him how to be a decent human seems to reflect a lack of humility on your part.

It is as if you see yourself as being powerful enough to undo his deep character flaws and many serious problems. And your choice to perhaps take him back reflects your low self-esteem.

You might be able to do some deep therapeutic work in order to figure out why you are drawn to this situation, but in the meantime, you should do only one thing: Decide to protect your daughter from the chaos this man creates in your life.

trickybiscuits fucked around with this message at 06:58 on Oct 17, 2023

# ? Oct 17, 2023 06:19

RoboRodent: Sep 19, 2012

"Would you adapt to a society that has become more conservative" is a useless question from where I, a big old queer, am sitting, unless I want to enroll myself in conversion therapy and/or surrender myself to the authorities when my existence is made illegal.

We don't all have the luxury of even pretending to agree.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 07:09

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Or you have disabilities. This isn't a hypothetical conversation, we've seen what this looks like.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 07:09

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

trickybiscuits posted:

I love it when horrible people realize they're in real trouble and start crying and begging. Especially since it takes them so long to realize it that by the time they do things are usually beyond fixing.

There's also the inverse: when the begging and pleading and crying and apologizing doesn't work and the oh-so-pentinent person suddenly shifts into being nasty and abusive and insulting. That's fun too, especially when it serves to confirm that the target was right in not accepting the apologies and promises to do better.

But yeah, that moment in these stories when the penny drops and the person realizes "oh poo poo, they really mean it this time" and now here come the waterworks and the apologies, those are always satisfying.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 07:17

BabyFur Denny: Mar 18, 2003

Bubblyblubber posted:

We didn't feel like switching last names, so my wife kept hers. And then we had a son, and he has two names, in honor of one grandfather from each side. And then we gave him both of our last names. And then her mother's maiden name, because my wife always felt bad that she didn't get it, just my father in law's last name. And then to make it fair we also gave him my mother's maiden name. So now my special boy has 6 loving names like Spanish royalty and he'll never be able to fill a form properly.

I hate my parents for doing this to me.
Your son is hosed, especially if he ever goes to a country where first and last name are switched.
I've had people call me by all possible combinations of my names but rarely my actual last name. Plus yeah, filling out forms can be a real pain and lead to actual trouble when e.g. dealing with immigration or work visas.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 08:21

Badly Jester: Apr 9, 2010; Bitches!

BabyFur Denny posted:

I hate my parents for doing this to me.
Your son is hosed, especially if he ever goes to a country where first and last name are switched.
I've had people call me by all possible combinations of my names but rarely my actual last name. Plus yeah, filling out forms can be a real pain and lead to actual trouble when e.g. dealing with immigration or work visas.

Germany has explicit laws to prevent this from happening. If people with a hyphenated name have a child, they have to choose a name to pass on to the kid - it can't be both. Can't risk loving with the forms.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 08:41

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for wearing a dress even though my dad told me not to?

quote:

I (F16) was getting ready for a party, two days ago. I was wearing a short, kinda tight, black dress.

I went downstairs to wait for my ride and my dad saw me and got super pissed about what I was wearing and he said I was showing too much skin and called me some insults.

He told me to change out of what I was wearing and put something on that covers up more. I didn't and left the house while he was upstairs so he didn't that I hadn't changed.

He found out that I kept the dress on when I got home and he got seriously annoyed and was like screaming at me. He told my mom as well so now she's pissed at me too.

He said he's just trying to protect me and that I shouldn't go out wearing tight fitting things. It's nice that he cares but nothing has ever happened to me before and if anything does happen it's probably not because of what I'm wearing.

I don't understand why I'm expected to dress like a loving nun just to go out.

My dad hasn't spoken to me much since other than to complain about my lack of respect for him. I honestly don't get why it's such a big deal.

I personally think I slayed harder than I ever have but I guess my dad didn't agree.

you better believe most of the comments on this one are..... nnnnnnno good

# ? Oct 17, 2023 09:33

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for losing my temper with my parents and sister and telling them she should just take everything I have including my clothes since she deserves it all so much?

As a parent, I cant even imagine the stress and fear of having a child with a deadly illness.

But if you ever reach the point of literally ignoring their birthday three years in a row, you have not only failed as a parent but as a human being

# ? Oct 17, 2023 10:05

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Pomme de Terror posted:

Dammit Cowslips, was in the process of pasting that first one in when my page loaded and showed your post

AITA for refusing to share my sunscreen (and letting my sister get burned)?

It has been a long time since I've been to an amusement park or zoo but I distinctly remember pretty much every single gift shop in them having sunscreen for sale. I would assume that's even more so the case now.

Sure it might be $25 for a bottle of Banana Boat that would usually be 2-for-$10 at Target but tough poo poo that's the convenience tax. Anyway the face lotion sunscreen that the sister was trying to mooch was probably even more than what the shops were gouging normal sunscreen for.

Sister also could have just hung out in the reptile house with the cool lizards.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 10:48

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

MajorBonnet posted:

Assuming it's the same one because the story blew up, they've continued to have Thanksgiving together since last that I heard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27Wf4CE7pgo

# ? Oct 17, 2023 11:45

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

hawowanlawow posted:

when I'm old teenagers will listen to me and treat me with respect

Yeah, well when I'm old they will stay off my damned lawn.

Beat that.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 11:48

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

You claim to be progressive... and yet, you won't progress to saying Hitler was right? Curious! I am very intelligent.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 11:58

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

Mx. posted:

AITA for wearing a dress even though my dad told me not to?

you better believe most of the comments on this one are..... nnnnnnno good

Post removed, reddit mods are weird

This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violence. This includes any mention of violence in any context.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 12:20

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

keep punching joe posted:

Post removed, reddit mods are weird

This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violence. This includes any mention of violence in any context.

From what the poster said about the comments, the mods probably just wanted creepy gently caress old Redditors to stop sharing their thoughts on a 16 year old girl's bodily autonomy.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 12:36

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Elviscat posted:

From what the poster said about the comments, the mods probably just wanted creepy gently caress old Redditors to stop sharing their thoughts on a 16 year old girl's bodily autonomy.

Yeah the mods don't want their own pm's lost in the deluge

# ? Oct 17, 2023 12:38

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Biplane posted:

Yeah the mods don't want their own pm's lost in the deluge

# ? Oct 17, 2023 12:48

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

Nothing crazy here, I just really like some of the OP's phrasing

AITA for not telling my family im pregnant

quote:

I do not have a great relationship with my family , nothing crazy no major drama just not very close, im a single child of divorce parents both never remarried or had other kids. other then them my family only consists of a few aunts, uncles, a few cousins and my only living grandparent gramps.

about three years ago i got a great job 5 states over so i moved away from everyone except my gramps who already lived there and actually helped me get the job. i have really come too love the town i live in now and the friends ive made here, i even liked the guy my friend introduced me to at a party and about 20 bad decisions later end up pregnant and said guy vanished without a trace like a spider in your room.

so a now pregnant me go's thru all nine months in a calm panic attack , getting ready for baby, finding out theres two babies, having a breakdown, making sure this isnt a cruel joke by some jerk doctor, sadly realize it isnt cause your 5'3 100p wet starts showing instantly, starts getting ready for two babies, starts working extra cause duh, and between all this and the fact my family is not big on holidays or events or even just beyond a general "the dogs sick" kinda texts ive seem to have become 36 weeks pregnant with twins without telling my family.

but last week i got a call from my mother asking why i had not told her im pregnant. apparentally one of my cousins found out , idk how i have not hid the fact im pregnant but i have not gone out of my way to show it , no annoucements anyone whos seen me since the first few weeks would know im pregnant, no dramatic gender reveals (im having two boys incase anyone asks) ,not even a baby shower but girls are all private eyes when they wanna be so idk

my mother went on to ask how i could not bother to tell her shes gonna be a grandma and how could i be so distant and not contact her thru this major life event. this coming from the women who last even called me was two years ago to tell me neighbor jill died and nothing else i laughed. i told her "i have tried in past calling you but you almost never answered, ive tried texting but you didn't answer i have tried keeping any communiation with you but you and everyone else in the family besides gramps haven't even contacted me in the nine mouths a have been growing two human beings in my stomach" she then went "thats not the point (insert name)" then hung up.

ever since then i have gotten the most calls in the past two days then i have ever gotton in my life. not only from family but everyone from old friends to ex co workers to neighbor jills cousin twice removed. i assume my family has told people and have all yelled at me for not telling them. i dont see the big deal we don't talk , they have never been excited about any life event , my babies aren't even the first babies two of my cousins already have kids and as far as i saw they both only got a "congrats" from the family so idk why im the exception AITA

# ? Oct 17, 2023 13:06

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

snergle posted:

the original this is very normal in europe was along a similar vein. some wierdo in europe thinking its normal in europe and telling the american op its normal in europe then a parade of europeans saying its not. its just a thread meme at this point when ever anyone says some wild poo poo and someone agrees with them for it to be normal in europe

iirc the original "very normal in Europe" thing was a couple that were house-sitting for their relatives and they had sex in the kid's bedroom in the kid's bed. :thumbsup:

# ? Oct 17, 2023 13:14

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

The OG normal in europe was walking around the house with your partners cum on your face.

# ? Oct 17, 2023 13:23

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Ah, the ol Dutch shuffle

# ? Oct 17, 2023 13:26

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

AITA for purposefully "ruining" my gf's date night?

quote:

I (28M) have been going out with this girl (26F) since St. Patrick's Day in March. It's the best relationship I've ever been in and it's starting to get serious, so I've been considering everything about this girl for the future. She's kind, family oriented, thoughtful, funny and, of course, beautiful.

The only thing about her is that she can't handle things going bad/not as planned.
I bump my arm against a countertop? Hyperventilating.
I tell her I have a bad day? Crying.
My food isn't as good as I hoped? She offers her food ×100 times and is quiet as a mouse
Grocery bill is high? Panic attack.

Two recent events have got me wondering if I can deal with this for the rest of my life.
We took a trip and missed our train and she starts crying in the middle of the station....only to find out it was behind us and were facing the wrong direction.

And this event in question.
I wanted to treat her to a day all about her. I cooked her breakfast in bed, took her on her favorite walkway after Starbucks, signed us up for a cooking class, then lunch, shopping for a new bracelet, dinner and at the end of the night, a movie.

That's when I got an idea.

When I bought the tickets, I accidentally bought the wrong day. I called them up and they credited my account for 2 free tickets and I booked another for today....which I keep to myself. (I DID NOT plan this date specifically to "test" her, if I booked the right day originally, this never would have happened)

We finish everything and head to the movies and that's when I realize I accidentally bought the wrong day and show her the receipt for this day, so we can't see the movie, she thinks.

She responded like I thought she would. Says that's fine, holding back tears and clenching her jaw, won't talk to me, won't even remotely consider that we can go to the desk or see another movie. Nothing. Just immediate giving up. Everything is ruined.

At that point, I had enough and asked her what she wanted to do and she said let's just go home. I know she didn't mean it, but I did it anyway, so we drove home in silence, like the whole day meant nothing.

She finally asks me if I'm mad. I say yes and break the news that I had two tickets and planned this to see how she'd react because I don't know if I can deal with this level of panic that she has over the smallest irregularity.

That was last Saturday and all my male friends agree with me and most of my female coworkers and friends agree too, but also seeing her side.
AITA for ruining my gf's date night?

Edit: Multiple comments bringing this up. Of course I have brought up how she handles things not going well/according to plan before. We've had this talk multiple times and I'm in therapy for depression and anxiety, so I would never judge her for going, but that's up to her.

I mean, thats definitely an rear end in a top hat move, but i can't say I blame him

# ? Oct 17, 2023 13:37

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 12:23

blatman: May 10, 2009; 14 inc dont mez

sephiRoth IRA posted:

AITA for purposefully "ruining" my gf's date night?

I mean, thats definitely an rear end in a top hat move, but i can't say I blame him

just according to keikaku

translators note: keikaku means im single now

# ? Oct 17, 2023 13:49

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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