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Not a headline but a tweet. But it's so rough that the Onion had to delete it and apologise (c-word warning):
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Nov 1, 2023 21:47
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For rough chucks and not just standard chucks, I'm a fan of this one from the time of the first Arab Spring movement:
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Nov 1, 2023 22:22
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Well then, this seems legit.
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Nov 2, 2023 01:06
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Shanghaied posted:Not a headline but a tweet. But it's so rough that the Onion had to delete it and apologise (c-word warning): Also the person in question was 10 at the time
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Nov 2, 2023 01:47
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They did have a pretty good response the following week. https://www.theonion.com/new-study-finds-the-onion-has-never-been-more-popular-1819574625
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Nov 2, 2023 03:03
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Scratch Monkey posted:Also the person in question was 10 at the time Okay now it’s way funnier
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Nov 2, 2023 03:08
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Scratch Monkey posted:Also the person in question was 10 at the time Yeah, that was the joke.
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Nov 2, 2023 03:11
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Matt Levine on closing arguments for SBF:quote:
And in other news: quote:
quote:
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Nov 2, 2023 20:42
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Hehe, CACU.
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Nov 2, 2023 20:51
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As long as moon-coin can draw in a never-ending supply of new buyers you can reap a never-ending income! It's not a pyramid scheme! There's like 3 total financial scams in the world, Ponzis, Pyramids, and just Plain Stealing, and its pretty funny to watch every crypto project boil down into one of them.
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Nov 2, 2023 20:54
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That first quoted bit sounds to my admittedly uneducated ears like "your honor, we are proposing that our client isn't a criminal who perpetrated massive fraud, he's just an idiot who got over his head and panicked."
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Nov 2, 2023 20:54
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lol that is like a ponzi scheme on loving steroids
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Nov 2, 2023 20:57
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Yes, that's absolutely the sort of defense they had to rely on given that everything else is going to be a bust. That's why so much of the government's cross exam was basically them going "well do you remember when you said otherwise?" or "hey, is this you cackling while twirling your mustache at the stupidity of your investors/depositors?" Fraud requires an intent to deceive or some act of negligence so profound it's indistinguishable from active deception. Poor little Sam made a few bets and his underlings did things behind his back and everything blew up, honest!
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Nov 2, 2023 21:01
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Was reading about SafeMoon and came across this bit:quote:Liquidity pool hack Imagine if someone stole $9M of customer's money from a bank and then negotiated to keep $2M lol.
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Nov 2, 2023 21:21
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Salt Fish posted:As long as moon-coin can draw in a never-ending supply of new buyers you can reap a never-ending income! It's not a pyramid scheme!
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Nov 2, 2023 21:23
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Salt Fish posted:As long as moon-coin can draw in a never-ending supply of new buyers you can reap a never-ending income! It's not a pyramid scheme! BallerBallerDillz posted:(requote of saltfish) I don't think there's a difference here. I've yet to see any crypto project ever *not* fall into these categories. I'm waiting for all the "Seed investment/seed capital" "equity raises" crypto stuff to get exposed as ponzis + stealing, but it'll be years probably. notwithoutmyanus fucked around with this message at 22:41 on Nov 2, 2023 |
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Nov 2, 2023 22:21
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The best Onion article is obvious the one repeated so often it got a wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%27No_Way_to_Prevent_This,%27_Says_Only_Nation_Where_This_Regularly_Happens
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Nov 2, 2023 22:43
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Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:Was reading about SafeMoon and came across this bit: They hacked themselves, OP, so they kept all of it (just like Mt. Gox).
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Nov 3, 2023 00:28
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Horseshoe theory posted:They hacked themselves, OP, so they kept all of it (just like Mt. Gox). MARK DID NOTHING WRONG
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Nov 3, 2023 00:42
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https://twitter.com/eorden/status/1720224398962028881
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Nov 3, 2023 00:44
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https://twitter.com/awfuljesse/status/1720163217832640728
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Nov 3, 2023 00:46
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This is a weird question that I actually can't even consider a scenario where it would happen, but - if a verdict is reached but not read out loud, is it still...a thing? I'm assuming there's some judicial standard that a verdict has to be read publicly/in court directly to the accused?
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Nov 3, 2023 00:47
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Squiggle posted:This is a weird question that I actually can't even consider a scenario where it would happen, but - if a verdict is reached but not read out loud, is it still...a thing? Actually I think it is for the partially for the jurors themselves. When I served on a jury the foreperson filled out all the paperwork and the judge asked us to affirm that that it was correct in front of the defendant and him.
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Nov 3, 2023 00:52
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Guilty on all charges. He faces 110 years. quote:
Zero One fucked around with this message at 00:57 on Nov 3, 2023 |
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Nov 3, 2023 00:55
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Lol bye bitch
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Nov 3, 2023 00:58
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Lmao that's extraordinarily fast Can't wait for the inevitable "SBF thrown into solitary after attempting to smuggle in a computer to play league of legends"
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Nov 3, 2023 00:58
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https://twitter.com/molcranenewman/status/1720228328571908390
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Nov 3, 2023 00:59
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Paulie did the prep-work, and he had this wonderful system for doing the shrimp . He used a razor. And he used to slice it so thin that it used to liquify in the pan with just a little oil.
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Nov 3, 2023 01:00
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drat, did they bother with the full 15 minutes for the look of it, or did they just walk through a revolving door Futurama style?
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Nov 3, 2023 01:00
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  wonder how much shrimp he'll get in prison?
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Nov 3, 2023 01:01
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Seth Pecksniff posted:Lmao that's extraordinarily fast It was probably much faster, when I sent someone away for life we basically were all in agreement that they were guilty as all gently caress and then spent like hours debating hypotheticals and debating racial justice before we were all finally like, OK, we have beaten this horse to death, guy is guilty as gently caress right? Right. Inform the judge! https://twitter.com/molcranenewman/status/1720229239100760169 Dude finally realized how hosed he is.
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Nov 3, 2023 01:01
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Seth Pecksniff posted:Lmao that's extraordinarily fast They may have even finished deliberation before the jurors got their pizza.
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Nov 3, 2023 01:04
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Three Olives posted:It was probably much faster, when I sent someone away for life we basically were all in agreement that they were guilty as all gently caress and then spent like hours debating hypotheticals and debating racial justice before we were all finally like, OK, we have beaten this horse to death, guy is guilty as gently caress right? Right. Inform the judge! That makes sense. Like, "we can all see this person is undoubtedly guilty, but given that we are deciding whether or not to permanently deprive a person of their freedom, we are ethically obligated to consider every possible argument against the obvious conclusion."
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Nov 3, 2023 01:05
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 LOL
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Nov 3, 2023 01:06
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Rip bitch
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Nov 3, 2023 01:06
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Did SBF really think he was going to get away with this? He couldn't have been that delusional Wonder what Seraph thinks of this
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Nov 3, 2023 01:10
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Seth Pecksniff posted:Did SBF really think he was going to get away with this? He couldn't have been that delusional He's just so smart if only he can get the chance to explain.
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Nov 3, 2023 01:11
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Ariong posted:That makes sense. Like, "we can all see this person is undoubtedly guilty, but given that we are deciding whether or not to permanently deprive a person of their freedom, we are ethically obligated to consider every possible argument against the obvious conclusion." After the the verdict the the public defenders were just like, meh. But actually, they did not tell us it was a de facto automatic life sentence, probably for that reason. However, the crimes were so serious, I would come home from trial and cry, I haven't even told my husband any specifics about the crimes, they were so horrific, like, honestly too hosed up for a horror film that we knew it was pretty loving serious. edit: Multiple victims of hours of the most horrific sexual torture you can imagine at the end of a deadly weapon where he told them he was going to kill them after he was done using them. All the victims were random, which apparently is just like, totally hosed up even for the crimes that he committed. Three Olives fucked around with this message at 01:18 on Nov 3, 2023 |
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Nov 3, 2023 01:11
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does effective altruism account for what happens if you end up in jail?
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Nov 3, 2023 01:46
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Strong Sauce posted:does effective altruism account for what happens if you end up in jail? Yes, actually it is equally as effective.
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Nov 3, 2023 01:47
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