r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

litany of gulps posted:

This is actually a super common thing among the teenagers. It's funny, too, because they're on Life360 or whatever where their friends can track their every movement, but also running secret accounts and stuff where they can talk poo poo about everyone behind their backs.

The story was about people in their thirties.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:22

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# ? May 30, 2024 05:18

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

PancakeTransmission posted:

Serving cat food with the justification that it's the best economical decision from someone that earns a lot, sounds like some kind of gold digging test and you should dump him. Like if the food itself tasted fine I wouldn't be bothered since it's generally not going to especially bad for humans (compared to some of the fast food we eat) or anything.

Pet food specifically does not get handled like human food and has much, much looser safety codes. It might not be unhealthy but there's a much higher chance of there being something wrong with it.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:24

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Batterypowered7 posted:

That's cause you post on a bulletin board nobody's ever going to find instead.

I mean I also post on blue sky and used to post on Twitter and Facebook

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:29

Fatty: Sep 13, 2004; Not really fat

Not sure if I'll get probed for this abuse story...

I kept waking up with semen on my face and now I know why...

quote:

I (16F) temporarily live with my uncle (53M) and aunt (44F) and cousins (both are primary schoolers).

some time ago I woke up with sore face and with (what I assumed to be) sour semen smeared on my mouth and nose. It was utterly repulsive, I threw up back then and I'm wincing as I'm writing this post. Anyway, I thought it was a prank from my cousins, but I didn't want to jump to any conclusions. I lost a friend because of my stupid accusations in the past, and I don't want to ruin relationship with my family. So I decided to ask my uncle for a camera. He raised an eyebrow and wanted to know why I wanted to buy a camera out of now-here. I didnt know what to say and then really really really stupid thoughts went through my head. You see, I'm a really heavy sleeper.. You-know-what. Anyway, he refused to buy me a camera because it was "ExPens1ve!!" and he isn't going to waste moneys on "stupid poo poo". I felt sick and wanted to cry .

...today I woke up in the middle of the night and saw one of my uncle's cats biting and humping my arm. The door to my room was open (I don't have a lock and cats know how to open doors). The cat then did you-know-what. Now, I'm not a cum connoisseur, but I instantly recognized what it was. I feel so guilty and stupid now...

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:30

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Quick question, what the gently caress

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:40

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for not wanting to eat cat food?

c'mon babe, this is fancy feast. it's not like i'm feeding you some meow mix bullshit

Incredible.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:41

Rescue Toaster: Mar 13, 2003

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for not wanting to eat cat food?

c'mon babe, this is fancy feast. it's not like i'm feeding you some meow mix bullshit

Too bad Extreme Cheapskates isn't on the air anymore.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:43

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Mx. posted:

Quick question, what the gently caress

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:43

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Mx. posted:

Quick question, what the gently caress

Go post this in the reddit thread so it can be the next thread title

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:45

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Fatty posted:

Not sure if I'll get probed for this abuse story...

I kept waking up with semen on my face and now I know why...

Way less worse than it could have been

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:46

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

The Lone Badger posted:

Pet food specifically does not get handled like human food and has much, much looser safety codes. It might not be unhealthy but there's a much higher chance of there being something wrong with it.

Years ago I was literally left with $30 after my bills for the month. My boss, wanting to help, told me that since I worked food prep for the zoo, if I took 1 or 2 bags of the meat, and no one saw me, no harm, no foul, and that previous food prep people had done the same. That horse meat, the bags blazed with NOT FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION in bright blue letters, really was good with the right seasoning.

I never tried it. Nor did I ever take the veges or fruits or eggs from the fridge with the same idea; my boss was totally fine with me stealing as long as I didn't get caught.

AITA For Not Paying for My Friend�s Broken Glass Door?

quote:

I (25M) have always had a debilitating fear of bees, wasps and any kind of bug that can bite or sting. I don�t know where it comes from, and I recognize it is unhealthy has made me lose a lot of time outdoors in the hotter months.

My friends all know about this fear and just how bad it is, and it is often a point of joking for them. I don�t mind as we often roast each other and it�s all in good fun.

Recently however, three of them decided to take it upon themselves to �deal with this fear once and for all.� We live in the country so there�s always fields of bugs and such flying and crawling around all over the place. One afternoon they collected nearly a dozen bees and wasps from outside and trapped them all in my friends screened in porch connected to his house. After luring me inside this porch with promises that we�d be having a chill afternoon of drinks and board games, they ran back inside and locked me in the porch with all these stinging creepy crappies flying all over the drat place.

Immediately realizing my peril, I yelled to let me in the house. They all first laughed as they thought it was funny, but as I felt my heart start to race and realized a panic attack was coming on, I screamed to let me out or I�d break the sliding glass door.

Not believing me, they said the bees were not a big deal and I would see once I got stung that it was not a reasonable fear to have.

I am a medicated individual due to work related anxiety, and have had anxiety attacks in the past where I�ve had to go to the ER, so I took this very seriously. I gave them one more chance to let me in before I�d break the door, and when I saw a paper wasp buzzing right in my face, I grabbed one of the porch chairs and smashed the glass door.

I ran inside and locked myself in the bathroom, hyperventilating and not sure if I was gonna be able to calm myself down. After about 20 minutes of sitting in there and my friends complaining about the door, I got in my car and drove home.

The next day I get a Venmo request for $400 to replace the glass on the door. I explained that I got trapped in a situation against my will where they knew I had an irrational fear of bugs and that I did not feel responsible for the door as I gave them multiple attempts to let me in.

Two days later and now the main friend is saying he won�t be inviting me to anything until the $400 is paid, and is threatening to take me to small claims court. I didn�t ask for any of this and feel like my mental health issue was weaponized against me. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:49

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Yes go to small claims and make a statement about how you falsely imprisoned your friend as a master of legal record.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:54

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Should have hit the 'friend' with the chair too.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:58

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

John Wick of Dogs posted:

Yes go to small claims and make a statement about how you falsely imprisoned your friend as a master of legal record.

I am not a lawyer, but surely, even in small claims court, if you say "They locked me in a place, so I panicked and said that if they didn't let me out I would break the glass door. They laughed, and said that I should just get stung by a bee. So I broke the door and escaped." would not force you to pay the damages.

And as you said, they now have potential charges of false imprisonment and endangerment against them.

Coz bee stings can be fatal in the wrong circumstances, (My Girl anyone?), and at best painful. So to intentionally lock someone in an enclosed space with some angry bees and wasps surely goes beyond arseholery and into dangerous illegal territory.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 03:24

Baron Zephyrus: Apr 17, 2018

Hughlander posted:

Yes, breaking the Seal of Confessional is an immediate Excommunication. Like, go to the bishop and if the priest is still there 2 weeks later you write to Rome and explain it to him:

Ah, I didn't realize it was immediate level. I knew it was serious enough that it *could* lead to it, but not that it was that hard of a rule. I learned something today, thank you!

# ? Nov 13, 2023 03:25

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITAH for telling my ex that seeing her made me want to vomit?

quote:

My ex wanted me to surrender my elderly dog and then get a cute little puppy with her. She told me it�s her or my dog so I broke up with her. Two years later my dog died at the age of 14.

I haven�t talked to her in two years, but my parents who want a grandchild promised to update her when my dog die. I didn�t know of this arrangement until they told her my dog died and she contacted me. She said �Were the two years worth ditching me for?�

She then told me we should put it behind us and get back together but I was so incensed by what she said earlier that I snapped at her. I told her I don�t want to be in the same room with her again and that her mere presence makes me want to vomit.

Later, she told my parents about it and they said I was too vindictive, and that it isn�t going to help anyone move past this.

UPDATE : I talked to my parents about this and made it clear to them that she is NOT the sort of person I want to spend my life with and definitely not the sort of person I want as my child�s mother. Then I asked them if they want someone like her as their grandchild�s parent. They were pretty stumped by that when I left.

I also blocked my ex already.

b-but grandbabies

# ? Nov 13, 2023 04:35

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

John Wick of Dogs posted:

Do people really have "mains" on Reddit? Everything there is so disposable, the idea of being a persistent user with a community on there, that your IRL friends might see, is so bizarre to me.

(waves) I absolutely have a main. I use it to gossip about historic costuming, girl gaming, and Rimworld. It's fun. However, I don't have any throwaways.

Enemabag Jones posted:

This is adorable now that I've read it a few times and realized you didn't mean all your animals conspired to collectively poo poo under your tree.

Oh, my God, I completely misunderstood.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 04:41

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

You better give us $400 or we're not gonna invite you to anything anymore. You know cause you had such a great time last time, with the bees

# ? Nov 13, 2023 04:50

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

DeeplyConcerned posted:

You better give us $400 or we're not gonna invite you to anything anymore. You know cause you had such a great time last time, with the bees

Bee Movie remake is very confusing.

AITA for crying after I didn't like what I got for my birthday?

quote:

It was my (16M) birthday yesterday and I was opening the gifts that my parents had bought me.

I've never been interested in sports I find it really boring. I like painting and art way more and my parents know that. Almost every birthday they give me sport related gifts, footballs, some team merch, etc. I don't even know what some of it is because I couldn't give a poo poo about sports.

I asked my parents to get me a specific set of pens for my birthday, I've wanted them for ages.

I opened my present and every single one of them was sport related. I just sat there and started crying in front of them. I didn't mean to cry it was embarrassing but I feel like they never listen to me. They've spent all of this money on expensive gifts that they know I hate and will never use. I told them this and they accused me of being ungrateful and said that I've ruined the day.

They sent me to my room and I haven't really spoken to them since.

AITA? Should I just be grateful that they got me anything at all?

# ? Nov 13, 2023 04:53

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Those parents are worried their son is gay and trying to sports him straight aren't they?

# ? Nov 13, 2023 05:04

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

The reason cat food is not for humans is because it is CAT FOOD. FOR CATS.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 05:35

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

have some dignity and insist on something with food standards applied

# ? Nov 13, 2023 05:35

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

well why not posted:

have some dignity and insist on something with food standards applied

# ? Nov 13, 2023 05:37

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

As if any of you wouldn't chow down on a freshly caught mouse the moment you had a chance :rolleyes:

# ? Nov 13, 2023 05:39

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Captain Hygiene posted:

As if any of you wouldn't chow down on a freshly caught mouse the moment you had a chance

Who wouldn't, that poo poo is delicious

# ? Nov 13, 2023 05:45

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Foo Diddley posted:

AITAH for telling my ex that seeing her made me want to vomit?

b-but grandbabies

I feel like there is a staff writer at snl who just mines AITA.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 06:05

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for not wanting to eat cat food?

c'mon babe, this is fancy feast. it's not like i'm feeding you some meow mix bullshit

dudes rock

# ? Nov 13, 2023 06:27

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Inceltown posted:

Who wouldn't, that poo poo is delicious

That's mousse, a mouse is a large terrestrial mamal, also known as an elk in parts of Europe.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 06:30

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Foo Diddley posted:

AITAH for telling my ex that seeing her made me want to vomit?

b-but grandbabies

The parents should be glad they dodged the bullet. those grandkids would get put down in 12 years anyway

# ? Nov 13, 2023 06:31

Paper Tiger: Jun 17, 2007; 🖨️🐯torn apart by idle hands

Elviscat posted:

That's mousse, a mouse is a large terrestrial mamal, also known as an elk in parts of Europe.

You're thinking of a moose, mouse is the green stuff that a rolling stone doesn't gather

# ? Nov 13, 2023 06:33

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Paper Tiger posted:

You're thinking of a moose, mouse is the green stuff that a rolling stone doesn't gather

You're thinking of moss, a mouse is a person or personified force who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 06:41

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Batterypowered7 posted:

You're thinking of moss, a mouse is a person or personified force who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist.

You're thinking of museé, the French word for museum. A mouse is Dwight's strange brother on The Office

# ? Nov 13, 2023 06:54

DeadlyMuffin: Jul 3, 2007

Batterypowered7 posted:

You're thinking of moss, a mouse is a person or personified force who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist.

You're thinking of a muse. A mouse is a dish made with food cut or ground into very small pieces.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 06:55

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

John Wick of Dogs posted:

You're thinking of museé, the French word for museum. A mouse is Dwight's strange brother on The Office

You're thinking of Mose; a mouse is a kind of volumizing hair gel.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 06:58

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

Arsenic Lupin posted:

(waves) I absolutely have a main. I use it to gossip about historic costuming, girl gaming, and Rimworld. It's fun. However, I don't have any throwaways.

People talk about historical costuming on reddit? Why did no one tell me?

It was rear end in a top hat family member day the other day for Dear Amy.

Ask Amy: I don�t want my late daughter�s horrid partner at Thanksgiving

quote:

Dear Amy: My mid-30s daughter lived with a partner for 10 years. He is a horrid and manipulative man. I accepted that as an adult she could make her own life choices, however misguided I may think they are.

As a �couple,� she and her partner attended holiday gatherings at my home. About a year ago, I heard from my other daughters that she had become engaged to this man, although she never mentioned this to me.

Not long ago, my daughter was in a roadway accident, and she died suddenly and tragically. Although she is gone, her former partner continues to consider himself a family member, and this is a sentiment that is shared by my late daughter�s two sisters. I have no such feelings about him, and wish never to see him again.

Thanksgiving is coming soon, and he expects that he will share a place at our table. I really do not want this man at the table, although I respect my other daughters� wish to have him be a part of their lives.

How would you recommend that I communicate my sentiments to him and to my daughters?

� Grieving Dad

quote:

Dear Amy: My fianc� and I are planning our wedding and have chosen two of my cousins (ages 8 and 14) to be ushers. Instead of having a traditional flower girl, we decided to have my fianc�s cousins (who range between the ages of 3 to 6) be the �flower gremlins.� My family is very upset by this decision and are on the brink of cutting me out of the family.

They really wanted my 8-year-old cousin to serve as a traditional flower girl. That is what they were expecting, but they didn�t realize that my fianc� has other family members that we wanted to also be involved in our wedding.

We explained to them that my cousins will still be just as involved in our wedding as the �flower gremlins.� They will still get ready with the rest of the bridal party, get a corsage/boutonniere, and take pictures with us. They have cut out members of the family before. I was already warned by my mom that if I don�t mend relations with my family, then I will meet the same fate.

Overall, my fianc� and I are very hurt by their reactions and want nothing more than their love and support. How can I mend my relationship with them?

� On the Brink

# ? Nov 13, 2023 07:08

The Bee: Nov 25, 2012; Making his way to the ring . . .
from Deep in the Jungle . . .

The Big Monkey!

Malachite_Dragon posted:

You're thinking of Mose; a mouse is a kind of volumizing hair gel.

You're thinking of a mousse. A mouse is a serious graphic novel about the author's holocaust survivor father.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 07:11

Kei Technical: Sep 20, 2011

The Bee posted:

You're thinking of a mousse. A mouse is a serious graphic novel about the author's holocaust survivor father.

You're thinking of Maus. A mouse is a birdhouse where you keep falcons or hawks.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 07:23

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Wonder what else cat food guy is cheaping out on?

Captain Hygiene posted:

As if any of you wouldn't chow down on a freshly caught mouse the moment you had a chance

Aha! I've finally found my cat's forums account!

# ? Nov 13, 2023 07:36

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

Fatty posted:

I kept waking up with semen on my face and now I know why...

I refuse to believe a cat is shooting its wad with the volume and velocity and aim to get semen on her face. Unless the cat is Peter North.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 07:46

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# ? May 30, 2024 05:18

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for wanting to invite friends to my daughter�s wedding?

quote:

My (F68) daughter is getting married to her partner of 8 years in September �24. We have been arguing over this and she told me to post this here for opinions.

For context, I am paying for the whole wedding. She is pretty introverted and doesn�t have a lot of friends she wants to invite. Her husband to be on the other hand is very extroverted and has a lot of people he would invite given the chance. I thought it would be fair then that the brides side gets 30 invites and the grooms side gets 30 invites as we are on a budget. Since my daughter doesn�t have a lot of people, and there are spots on her side left over (after family and her friends) I have people I want to invite. Between my husband and I, we have 13 people to invite. To be honest, there was no leaving them out one way or the other as we have social obligations to invite them anyway. I feel as though since we are paying for this and are hosting it, we should get a say in who comes regardless.

My daughter has said that this is not how it normally works and that her and her fianc�e should have first priority in who comes and the spots should be dedicated to her fianc�es friends before mine if there are limited seats. She also said that �this is their wedding and not my �class of 74 reunion.�� But him and his family are not financially contributing to this at all. It will reflect poorly on me if I don�t invite my and my husband�s people. She�s refusing to see my side and says that her fianc�e being limited in his guests and his parents only being allowed to invite 2 people because they aren�t in a place to contribute is unfair.

If I am not allowed to throw this up to my standard, I do not want my name on it. They can do what they want, but I have half a mind to pull my money from the equation if they insist on not allowing who I want to be there. I told them they will have full control over everything else! It will still be their day! I just want my friends there to support the big day! Is that really so wrong? Am I really the a hole? I am starting to think I have a bridezilla and groomzilla on my hands.

After seeing replies I would like to add some information:

We are white and live in the US so not of Asian culture.

We have a lot of family so the breakdown of my daughter�s side is 14 family members, 3 of her friends, and 13 of mine.

She says she doesn�t have a problem with me inviting my friends. She has a problem being limited in her and her fianc�es friends.

My social obligations to my friends are because I have known some of these people for 50 plus years and I do not want to ruin friendships that strong. I was invited to their children�s weddings so why would they not be invited to my child�s wedding? My son opted to not have one so this will be my only opportunity.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 07:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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