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Jenkl posted:Only if you're Catholic. This is a ogod joke. Now I want to debate if Jesus was simultaneously the CEO's son and Vice President of North American Revenue or if he could only exist as one of those. Picking the wrong way to refer to him can get you fired/burned at a stake.
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Nov 13, 2023 20:16
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Lockback posted:This is a ogod joke. I believe Jesus was Chief Evangelist in Product Development. I need to stay off LinkedIn.
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Nov 13, 2023 20:44
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Jesus was CFO A handful of loaves and fishes on the books, but somehow fed thousands. Yeah, that is one whistle blower away from a major audit
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Nov 13, 2023 21:11
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The Holy Spirit is COO.
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Nov 13, 2023 22:03
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:The Holy Spirit is COO. Shows up announced and blows a bunch of hot air
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Nov 13, 2023 22:11
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"we need a miracle, people. You have three days"
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Nov 13, 2023 22:18
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Definitely CEO's son. Gets executed, still gets promoted.
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Nov 13, 2023 22:19
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Trabant posted:Definitely CEO's son. Gets executed, still gets promoted. Blows up at a bunch of clients, runs afoul with all sorts of regulatory laws that he should have been aware pertain to that geography, runs around with a bunch of "close friends" who he randomly just met, also runs around with a prostitute, everyone exclaims how amazing he is even when he doesn't really do anything. Yeah, fits.
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Nov 13, 2023 22:28
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The most important conference of the year is in Rome and we're sending Peter? Just because he was friends with the bosses son? What did he even do before he got this job? He was a fisherman? Jesus loving Christ.
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Nov 13, 2023 22:30
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Lockback posted:
That was his original Gmail. He went with a more professional "Jesus H. Christ" on all corporate websites
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Nov 13, 2023 23:08
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CancerCakes posted:I like the implication that death is the only way you can leave the business. It’s either that or getting on a plane to Singapore
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Nov 13, 2023 23:12
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So I'm starting a new job on Monday, and also family wise we kind of stumbled into a potential dream home purchase situation. I'm wondering if anyone has ever heard of a probationary period getting waived just to make the bank financiers happier? Otherwise we'd have to possibly delay closing until after that finishes (3 months). I'm going to ping my manager (whom I know from my last job and job previous to that so he can definitely vouch for me to the higher ups if need be) about this, but wondering how futile it might be (probably very).
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Nov 14, 2023 00:28
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priznat posted:I'm wondering if anyone has ever heard of a probationary period getting waived just to make the bank financiers happier? Why would this even be a thing? How would the underwriters even know? If you're employed and have W2s, even if you just changed jobs, if your title and industry is roughly the same that's all they've cared about in my experience.
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Nov 14, 2023 00:32
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I'm of the opinion that absolutely nobody is worth bypassing the probationary period for. I'm also of the opinion to not say poo poo to the bank about it either.
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Nov 14, 2023 00:36
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Motronic posted:Why would this even be a thing? How would the underwriters even know? Might be different in Canada, they do ask it if you are on a probationary period. I do have a record over the past (ugh) 20 years of consistent wage growth etc so it might not be a huge sticking point or anything for the banks, they can waive it on their end too apparently. Kind of annoying that just because it is timed that I happen to be switching jobs to an actually better salary package it still can potentially hurt me.
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Nov 14, 2023 00:37
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Place your bets people, today's "URGENT UPDATE: ALL STAFF" invite just dropped and is taking place in an hour's time. I reckon our big boss is leaving but maybe it'll be a full restructure, who knows!
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Nov 14, 2023 03:20
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Vasudus posted:I'm of the opinion that absolutely nobody is worth bypassing the probationary period for. Yeah this. I probably wouldn't ask about this the first couple weeks.
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Nov 14, 2023 04:08
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Jumpsuit posted:Place your bets people, today's "URGENT UPDATE: ALL STAFF" invite just dropped and is taking place in an hour's time. I reckon our big boss is leaving but maybe it'll be a full restructure, who knows! Gender reveal party for the corporation itself, via the issuance of pink or blue post-it pads.
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Nov 14, 2023 04:11
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Jumpsuit posted:Place your bets people, today's "URGENT UPDATE: ALL STAFF" invite just dropped and is taking place in an hour's time. I reckon our big boss is leaving but maybe it'll be a full restructure, who knows! Mandatory OT
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Nov 14, 2023 04:14
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Lockback posted:How I hope to be memorialized: My misspelled name and deeds being announced via a auto-respond. I can't believe that no one mentioned the "Are thoughts" mistake at the bottom which just utterly makes this. Nothing cements how much you care like not even proof reading.
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Nov 14, 2023 04:22
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Volmarias posted:I can't believe that no one mentioned the "Are thoughts" mistake at the bottom which just utterly makes this. Nothing cements how much you care like not even proof reading. It's also missing an apostrophe. It's also missing a comma. It also should be "out-of-office".
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Nov 14, 2023 07:24
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Jumpsuit posted:Place your bets people, today's "URGENT UPDATE: ALL STAFF" invite just dropped and is taking place in an hour's time. I reckon our big boss is leaving but maybe it'll be a full restructure, who knows! Partial restructure! We currently have 9 associate directors, being reduced to 5, and their teams combined. So a few senior redundancies on the way, merry Christmas
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Nov 14, 2023 08:35
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priznat posted:So I'm starting a new job on Monday, and also family wise we kind of stumbled into a potential dream home purchase situation. I'm wondering if anyone has ever heard of a probationary period getting waived just to make the bank financiers happier? Otherwise we'd have to possibly delay closing until after that finishes (3 months). I am in a completely different country to you (AU) but I managed to get my company to waive my probationary period in the same situation. The probationary period is a tool to get rid of bad eggs so if you're hopefully past the "unknown" stage they ought to be OK with it. As someone else posted, it doesn't really change your employment status but a letter from company HR satisfied my loan officer.
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Nov 14, 2023 11:39
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 , I’m watching a town hall presentation and one of the presenters just said “I’m going to double click on <issue>”
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Nov 16, 2023 15:42
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Any time we need to discuss something later, I’m gonna suggest we “middle click it” (and never close that tab but also never look at it again)
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Nov 16, 2023 16:00
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Nybble posted:Any time we need to discuss something later, I’m gonna suggest we “middle click it” (and never close that tab but also never look at it again) I didn't know about the middle click thing. I've been using ctrl-click for years like a sucker!
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Nov 16, 2023 16:04
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Nybble posted:Any time we need to discuss something later, I’m gonna suggest we “middle click it” (and never close that tab but also never look at it again) Did you just give a middle click?!
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Nov 16, 2023 16:06
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My work just did a rebrand and they just announced at an all company meeting that we're not supposed to wear any clothing with the old brand anymore. lol @ everyone who spent their own money on clothes they can't even wear to work anymore
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Nov 16, 2023 17:34
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I never could understand the mindset of people that payed for their own companies swag. You want me to fly a flag give it to me motherfucker.
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Nov 16, 2023 18:31
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My work has an almost underground interest in collecting and displaying vintage corporate merch. Older logos, slogans, pre-mergers and acquisitions. Shirts, water bottles, whatever. Folks will pass on rumours, "I heard they found an old box in Judy's desk when she retired. Ask your guy in facilities!"
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Nov 16, 2023 18:38
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Tnuctip posted:I never could understand the mindset of people that payed for their own companies swag. You want me to fly a flag give it to me motherfucker. My previous co set a bad precedent last year of sending us some really excellent swag (yeti coffee mug, north face fleece, nice fleece blanket, some cosy tech themed socks) that the subsequent swags all seemed really chintzy and lame after that. I ganked so many extra yeti coffee mugs lol
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Nov 16, 2023 18:39
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My previous place gave us a packet of thyme seeds once. I'm sure there was a corporate slogan about time and growth in there somewhere but fucks sake
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Nov 16, 2023 18:45
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Tnuctip posted:I never could understand the mindset of people that payed for their own companies swag. You want me to fly a flag
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Nov 16, 2023 18:54
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Had to sit through a rebrand a little while ago. Tag yourself.
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Nov 16, 2023 18:56
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Honey Im Homme posted:Had to sit through a rebrand a little while ago. Tag yourself. I'm anything-but-cookie-cutter-solutions, except I'm baking cookies.
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Nov 16, 2023 18:59
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Honey Im Homme posted:Had to sit through a rebrand a little while ago. Tag yourself. I'm (the noun "technology" is used as a verb here).
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Nov 16, 2023 19:03
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I'm "playing catch-up doesn't make you behind" (I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it means, actually) I'm also Technology that won't Flinch 
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Nov 16, 2023 19:18
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Volmarias posted:I'm "playing catch-up doesn't make you behind" (I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it means, actually) The technology may not flinch but our users sure do The ux team changed something that used to be two physical button pushes (pull trigger, press confirm scan button) to 6 touch screen touches
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Nov 16, 2023 19:41
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Volmarias posted:I'm "playing catch-up doesn't make you behind" (I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it means, actually) Note: Technology is no longer a verb here.
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Nov 16, 2023 19:50
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tactlessbastard posted:The technology may not flinch but our users sure do It's ADA compliant if it's equally bad for everyone
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Nov 16, 2023 19:52
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