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Is it a good sign when your company starts playing an NES Chiptune rendition of "Mad World" over the speakers? Asking for a friend
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Nov 15, 2023 03:03
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This is how they signal the C suites to lock the doors because their unleashing the gas into the building.
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Nov 15, 2023 03:04
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Sounds like someone was being a stiffly stifferson
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Nov 15, 2023 03:05
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Outrail posted:If you have to work late spend an hour switching all the dongles throughout the office. Your coworkers will appreciate your clever prank. Sub in some known bad dongles for extra lols E: at work tonight, dealing with some restiveness. Dayshift absolutely hosed mom’s car* up and hid it. We found it, repaired it, drove it around a bit, and put it back in the garage. Regrettably, we did not fill it back up before we parked it. Dayshift got mom’s car back out this morning and immediately wrapped it around a tree. Before they wrecked it, they did complain mightily to mom and dad that we didn’t put fuel in the car. They complained so long and so loud, it is now being weighed wether or not us not putting fuel in the car led to them wrapping the car around a tree. *I’m going to beat this metaphor to death tactlessbastard fucked around with this message at 04:50 on Nov 15, 2023 |
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Nov 15, 2023 04:43
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tactlessbastard posted:Sub in some known bad dongles for extra lols We had a bad case of wireless mice and the dongles for them going missing, but leaving the keyboard. Much comedy ensued as people wandered around the office mashing Windows L, or ctrl+alt+del.
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Nov 15, 2023 04:49
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tactlessbastard posted:Sub in some known bad dongles for extra lols You just have to find someone to blame for not putting fuel in the car.
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Nov 15, 2023 04:55
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Barudak posted:Is it a good sign when your company starts playing an NES Chiptune rendition of "Mad World" over the speakers? Asking for a friend Singapore will be busy this day.
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Nov 15, 2023 05:26
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Im taking a week off to burn some PTO, and also because I didn't want to work. I find out this morning my direct supervisor has announced his retirement for end of December. This was a surprise to no one, as when he was hired on 2 years ago, he said to us "I'm only here to work until I feel like retiring, and they paid for my move." The only bummer to this is we didn't have time to setup the betting pool on when he was leaving, generally people bail in late Feb/Mar here.
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Nov 15, 2023 05:58
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Outrail posted:If you have to work late spend an hour switching all the dongles throughout the office. Your coworkers will appreciate your clever prank. This reminds me, in college we used to sneak on each other's accounts on their network and do the old replace your desktop with a screenshot trick. And I should do it before I leave
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Nov 15, 2023 08:44
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Shoehead posted:This reminds me, in college we used to sneak on each other's accounts on their network and do the old replace your desktop with a screenshot trick. And I should do it before I leave Someone pulled this at my job and the person being pranked concluded that they had duplicates of everything on their desktop. So they did what anyone would do: select their "extra" files, delete them, empty their recycle bin, and then open a support ticket about the files on their desktop being "stuck". Turns out they deleted months of work because they had been keeping everything on their desktop instead of the (regularly backed up) file server where work was supposed to be kept. The person who pulled the prank ended up getting written up.
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Nov 15, 2023 12:42
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So it's the second day of my last week. Boss has been mostly missing thankfully. Today she is calling a real estate place looking to buy the massive abandoned hardware place across the road. For her housing coop to live in. I dunno if I ever mentioned the housing thing, they have steps to buy land, work the land with some sort of crop, and eventually build a housing estate on it. The plan gets worse and worse each year, along with her tithes to it. Its been.. maybe six years and they've planted a garden on some land they don't own. Saturday was way more interesting, with her showing up to work around 2:30 for a single tattoo app that she undercharged. And to who she started venting like crazy to. Dropped a heap of lore. Her ex husband's dad cut him out of the will for marrying her. Her Ex husband, despite not being able to tie his laces now has a house and she doesn't. She went on her first time buyers rant, about how she doesn't count as one any more, because she.. well bought a house. She and the guy who lived there sold the house and because she had the proceeds of the sale she didn't qualify for social housing. This is unfair for some reason. She cannot be expected, she claims, and this is where she just got unhinged and started shouting, to pay for or even apply for a mortgage because she is self employed AND dyslexic. She got her first mortgage that way btw. Conversely she was made prove some sort of aptitude when reapplying for social housing recently and apparently got thick with whoever was doing the application because she runs her own buisness and she runs it well.  quote:Boss is now discussing her super ethical plan to get refugees to renovate damaged council houses quote:Enjoying listening to my Boss lie to this client about how she's given up cheese and butter. She mashed a load of butter into the floor of the kitchen this very week I went home in a pretty good mood after that. I have to watch myself because she went mad at a coworker months ago because I was in a good mood when she was not and decided I'd spent all day laughing at her, when in reality I was highly caffinated and listening to Drum and Bass. I also found our current apprentice on IG and she's sharing videos about apprentices not being shop slaves and I went full sickos mode. This one's mom is part of the richer cohort of the co-housing and I really hope it burns a bridge when she realises she's being taken advantage of. Meanwhile  This poo poo is just sitting in my hallway, waiting to go to the new shop. I cannot wait to see the back of this place.
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Nov 15, 2023 13:23
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work has been going nuts having every thing cleaned and fixed for the last two months because our millionaire ceo is strutting around the plant today i did my part, i put on a collared shirt
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Nov 15, 2023 13:59
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drum and bass owns
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Nov 15, 2023 14:41
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Our new CEO is visiting my office next month so we’ve all been told to go in, but I’m on leave that week so I’m gonna miss it oh no
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Nov 15, 2023 14:46
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History Comes Inside! posted:Our new CEO is visiting my office next month so we’ve all been told to go in, but I’m on leave that week so I’m gonna miss it oh no Guess you'll figure out they closed your office when you come back and none of your logins or the VPN works anymore.
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Nov 15, 2023 15:01
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Biplane posted:drum and bass owns 
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Nov 15, 2023 16:25
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dude if you don’t know how this platform x integrates with platform y despite platform y being your remit and the info from platform x being the data platform y is insanely dependent on then idk dude! do not yell at me on email!!! guess I will google how to maybe fix this because how to do an interpersonal interaction is something you ain’t doing either. egg on my face for asking your department for assistance with something in your department E: and I fixed it. in the time this guy could have forwarded me an email that cool, I wasn’t sent in the first place, I fixed it. E: Jesus realized now I also opened a ticket with this dude to get the uploader fixed ha ha ha ha ha this sucks teen witch fucked around with this message at 16:42 on Nov 15, 2023 |
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Nov 15, 2023 16:36
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This is all wild but quote:Her Ex husband, despite not being able to tie his laces now has a house and she doesn't. Is this... something that existed BEFORE they met? 
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Nov 15, 2023 16:49
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The ex's family was right to disown him for marrying her. Yikes.
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Nov 15, 2023 16:50
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Volmarias posted:This is all wild but Her ex husband was quite a specimen, he had that kind of cruel guile you only get in really stupid 6 year old boys. I fully believe she married him because she's still way smarter than him, but he didn't have to be smart to gently caress with her. Whenever she would go on a diet he would mockingly eat takeout in front of her, he poisoned a bird she was rescuing, and decided once, that he could sleep off pneumonia (he couldn't). The shoelacee thing is kinda special, he couldn't tie them, not in the knotty loop you make, right? He would tie them like you were tying two ends of rope together. At the end of the day it'd be time to take his boots off, and he couldn't undo them. So he would grab a knife or a scissors and cut them open. Of course he ran out of laces pretty quickly, not a super sustainable situation, so he would pull them out of her shoes and leave. I'm not sure how long that went on for but it seems like she was just buying new laces for a few weeks. I'm sorry if this story puts her in a sympathetic light
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Nov 15, 2023 17:32
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But they were so perfect to each other
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Nov 15, 2023 17:34
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It's looks like the large, now abandoned hardware shop across the road, along with it's multiple aeroplane hanger sized warehouses is going to cost 1.5 million euros and she is not impressed??
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Nov 15, 2023 18:16
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Shoehead posted:I'm sorry if this story puts her in a sympathetic light It does not. Sounds like soulmates who should be forced to live together, if only to spare the rest of us.
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Nov 15, 2023 18:21
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Shoehead posted:Her ex husband was quite a specimen, he had that kind of cruel guile you only get in really stupid 6 year old boys. I fully believe she married him because she's still way smarter than him, but he didn't have to be smart to gently caress with her. Whenever she would go on a diet he would mockingly eat takeout in front of her, he poisoned a bird she was rescuing, and decided once, that he could sleep off pneumonia (he couldn't). The shoelacee thing is kinda special, he couldn't tie them, not in the knotty loop you make, right? He would tie them like you were tying two ends of rope together. At the end of the day it'd be time to take his boots off, and he couldn't undo them. So he would grab a knife or a scissors and cut them open. Of course he ran out of laces pretty quickly, not a super sustainable situation, so he would pull them out of her shoes and leave. I'm not sure how long that went on for but it seems like she was just buying new laces for a few weeks. the only one I feel sorry for is the bird
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Nov 15, 2023 20:12
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That bird was no hero
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Nov 15, 2023 20:47
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Outrail posted:That bird was no hero The bird has some pretty bad opinions on Twitter.
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Nov 15, 2023 21:11
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I regret to inform you the bird was racist.
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Nov 15, 2023 21:21
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My work aren't giving us a bonus this year, but they decided to throw as a conciliatory Christmas party with a free bar, and booked a 120 person venue based on numbers last year. Turns out that if people aren't getting a bonus they are drat well taking full advantage of that free bar to the maximum, and 590 people RSVPed, and they are rebooking the venue to handle the increase. Should be an interesting party give the last time i was at a departmental event with the corporate credit on show we drank a whole bar dry of beer and tequila.
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Nov 15, 2023 22:32
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Goonspeed mighty warriors
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Nov 15, 2023 23:00
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A rare time when going out and drinking your entire bonus makes perfect sense.
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Nov 16, 2023 00:56
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It's going to cost more than bonuses and they'll act like it didn't. Assuming they wreck the place while hammered and cause significant property damage during a labor movement.
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Nov 16, 2023 00:58
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might be able to pull off that size shindig for around $50,000. even giving half of those RSVPs a lovely $500 bonus gets way higher than that
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Nov 16, 2023 02:08
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More. Property. Damage.
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Nov 16, 2023 02:15
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20 Blunts posted:might be able to pull off that size shindig for around $50,000. even giving half of those RSVPs a lovely $500 bonus gets way higher than that Yeah, previous year bonuses were $1000 and up across the entire business, so it's still a bargain for them. Going the be hard to drink that much in what I assume will be a bar stocked strictly with domestic beers and bottom shelf spirits. Will give it a go though.
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Nov 16, 2023 04:18
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Bring a few of those 1 gallon platypus bags.
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Nov 16, 2023 04:23
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its customary to smash your pint glass on the carpet after every pint of tequila in this situation
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Nov 16, 2023 04:27
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Shoehead posted:Her ex husband was quite a specimen, he had that kind of cruel guile you only get in really stupid 6 year old boys. I fully believe she married him because she's still way smarter than him, but he didn't have to be smart to gently caress with her. Whenever she would go on a diet he would mockingly eat takeout in front of her, he poisoned a bird she was rescuing, and decided once, that he could sleep off pneumonia (he couldn't). The shoelacee thing is kinda special, he couldn't tie them, not in the knotty loop you make, right? He would tie them like you were tying two ends of rope together. At the end of the day it'd be time to take his boots off, and he couldn't undo them. So he would grab a knife or a scissors and cut them open. Of course he ran out of laces pretty quickly, not a super sustainable situation, so he would pull them out of her shoes and leave. I'm not sure how long that went on for but it seems like she was just buying new laces for a few weeks.  I don't know if you should start a new thread about it, but honestly I would very much like it if you could just dump everything out about your soon to be ex boss. It's just a fractal of crazy the whole way down.
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Nov 16, 2023 05:52
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Shoehead posted:So it's the second day of my last week. Boss has been mostly missing thankfully... It is endlessly baffling and fascinating to me that people can be completely pants-on-head crazy and deeply mentally unwell but still manage to pull it together enough to start or run a business (which is invariably held together with string and hope and eventually collapses in a dramatic fashion when the boss can no longer keep it together). My boyfriend worked at a cafe for a few years and the boss was always a bit odd and overbearing but over time started to get more flaky and unreliable, stopped paying their suppliers, started getting high at work, taking random days off unannounced, which snowballed into accusing the employees of plotting against her and then having a full-blown psychotic break where she thought god was talking to her. The business closed and she plastered the outside of the shop with crazy essays then started posting on the business's social media about all the health and safety regulations she'd broken while running the place and a bunch of other much more personal drama. It was absolutely astonishing to witness as an outsider but I can imagine it'd be exhausting and terrifying to have to deal with it every day when your paycheck depends on someone like that.
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Nov 16, 2023 07:03
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I keep meaning to post about this but every time I go to it almost gets resolved. It is now very Not Resolved and very very dumb. Sorry this might be a wall of text. We released a new service about... four months ago (1.0). Essentially this service funnels all activity on the wider system into a database that users can then point Power Bi or whatever at to make some reports. Super basic explanation but that's the nuts of it. Anyway this first version was released and our process is the dev teams do work until we're ready, it's tested within the team, then we pre-release it to a Solutions Team who do things like performance testing and check that it hasn't broken the rest of the system. This 1.0 version went through (albeit with some fixes due to performance) and was released to the customers, although nobody actually started using it. During the release process our customer-facing people raised an issue that it was missing a piece of functionality. It wasn't missing, it was planned for the 3.0 release, and they knew that, but because the customer facing people promise everything to the customers, they had told all of them this was in. We therefore planned a 1.1 release that would include a bastardised version of the functionality that would hopefully tide them over. We completed the changes in the 1.1 release and handed it over to the Solutions team. At this point the head of that team raised a concern with the Product Manager that if a user was to run a sufficiently stupid query against the database, the impact of that could bring the whole system down. Now, to be clear, he has never been able to prove this can happen. In fact, we're pretty sure that there are enough failsafes in place that even if they did run a query about 5 other services would stop it before it has done enough damage. He also never put this in writing, it was just vague verbal "concerns" to the PM who is in a panic about things at the best of time. She, of course, told us to stop the release and fix it. We reviewed things and came up with the above reasons why we thought it couldn't happen (which were dismissed out of hand) but we could come up with a duplicated database which the queries run on in isolation, solving the problem (sort of). However, this would require customers to do some manual changes. The PM was not happy about this. We talked some more and came to an agreement that we would release anyway to one or two customers and monitor things, if it looks like they're causing the problem we could pull the plug before anything bad happens. No harm no foul. Except... the Solution team guy wasn't in that conversation. He was on holiday (which was part of the problem, he raised this then hosed off for two weeks). Came back and said no he still wasn't happy to release. PM tells us to estimate how long doing the solution would be. We tell her it's about 3-4 weeks of work. She tells us she can't wait that long. So ??? The other wrinkle in this is that in the mean time we discovered a (legitimate) bug in the 1.1 release so there's a 1.2 stacked up behind it, there's a 2.0 release that we have queued up, and the 3.0 release is nearing dev completion. My boss is in charge of the releases so he's saying can we just merge all this into a single release at this stage, he's been told no, so even in an ideal scenario we're going to end up releasing 4 versions about three weeks apart. It's all so loving stupid. The main problem is that when this Solutions team was created (about a year ago) they never came up with a defined process for them to reject a release and what that means. That means this one guy, thanks to his vague and unproven issues, can create a massive backlog and loads of additional and unnecessary work.
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Nov 16, 2023 10:48
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I'm a database newbie, but I'm curious how a single query can bring down an entire database? Is it a Bobby tables situation? Seems kind of hard to fix a bug that hasn't been formally described.
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Nov 16, 2023 11:37
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