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Eric Cantonese posted:Yay! Glad to hear you got good news. Must be a relief. yup, hopefully smooth sailing from here. I'm sure from 3 months to 18 years will be no surprises or anything. 
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Nov 15, 2023 01:17
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mad.radhu posted:yup, hopefully smooth sailing from here. I'm sure from 3 months to 18 years will be no surprises or anything. It'll be great, you'll do great
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Nov 15, 2023 01:25
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Dreylad posted:the bar to clear as a dad is in the sub-basement. it's insane. Feels good clearing it
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Nov 15, 2023 01:31
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mad.radhu posted:yup, hopefully smooth sailing from here. I'm sure from 3 months to 18 years will be no surprises or anything. It'll be the best thing you ever do and nothing compares But also yes, your old life is gone, a new insane (and rewarding! But also insane) one awaits
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Nov 15, 2023 05:28
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Does anyone in the thread have resources for post partum in dads? E: nvm, I got them to wave the fact my account was delinquent. Death to America HootTheOwl has issued a correction as of 00:37 on Nov 16, 2023 |
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Nov 15, 2023 06:54
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I heard my 2 year old say “gently caress” the other day. I curse a lot and I don’t want to be a hypocrite with my kid, so I didn’t intervene. In my mind, the only “bad” words are bigoted slurs and those are the only words I will not let them use. What’s the right approach to take? Am I being too lenient if I teach them that there are times and places when they can use curse words? The Top G has issued a correction as of 13:56 on Nov 17, 2023 |
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Nov 17, 2023 13:53
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The Top G posted:I heard my 2 year old say “gently caress” the other day. I curse a lot and I don’t want to be a hypocrite with my kid, so I didn’t intervene. In my mind, the only “bad” words are bigoted slurs and those are the only words I will not let them use. When they go to school they're going to get into trouble if they say it so even if it's fine at home you might want to do something.
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Nov 17, 2023 14:11
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The Top G posted:I heard my 2 year old say “gently caress” the other day. I curse a lot and I don’t want to be a hypocrite with my kid, so I didn’t intervene. In my mind, the only “bad” words are bigoted slurs and those are the only words I will not let them use. We really struggled with this with our first kid. Wife and I curse a lot, tried to tone it down around him but he obviously picked up on it and despite conversations about "those are grown-up words" and "time and place," etc. he spent almost a year at pre-K cursing every day--"gently caress," specifically. Wake-up call that a lot of people do not curse on the reg, and do in fact get dizzy and faint when they hear such words, especially from a child. Kid has figured it out now but we were personae non gratae (I don't know Latin) for a while at daycare.
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Nov 17, 2023 14:13
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I have a core memory of being in second grade, on the phone crying because my punishment for saying "rear end" was I had to call my parents and tell them what I done. I think my dad answered and I was too emotional to notice how annoyed he was that he had to answer this call while he was working.
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Nov 17, 2023 14:24
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HootTheOwl posted:I have a core memory of being in second grade, on the phone crying because my punishment for saying "rear end" was I had to call my parents and tell them what I done. Speaking as a former public school teacher who dealt with a lot of discipline issues…yeah, it’s very annoying getting phone calls from school over the most tedious poo poo. “Okay, so Little Fucker licked a kid? Why are you calling me about this?  ”
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Nov 17, 2023 14:28
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Hmmmm fair points. What happened with your second kid, did you two just stop swearing?
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Nov 17, 2023 14:30
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I basically stopped swearing at home once my kid was born. she comes home from school asking me what gently caress poo poo etc are and we don’t give it a ton of attention we just say they’re bad words and we don’t say them. Since we don’t put a lot of attention to it then it goes away within a day. it’s not treated like some forbidden fruit. bigoted and racist words have not come home yet but when that does then I’ll probably be a bit more severe about it.
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Nov 17, 2023 14:35
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The Top G posted:Hmmmm fair points. What happened with your second kid, did you two just stop swearing? We were bludgeoned into being more mindful of our language around them, yes. Also our first kid is much, much more impressionable than our second so she just hasn't picked up on it, she's very much into doing her own thing and not just aping anyone she's around.
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Nov 17, 2023 14:42
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If my kid picks up swear words it will be from when I am driving and those are practically involuntary so can't be helped. I have a core memory of getting my mouth washed out with soap and my grandfather called (!?) because I called my brother a bastard in front of the neighbors. I learned all my curses from my mother who swore at us whenever she was mad, which made it confusing. And then there was another layer of confusion because my child understanding was that bastard was not even one of the big swear words, so the reaction seemed disproportionate. It's only looking back on it as an adult that I realized how embarrassing that must have been. My parents were divorced so it was plausible I was speaking truth. Also part of me wonders if he WAS conceived out of wedlock.
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Nov 17, 2023 14:54
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Chad Sexington posted:Also part of me wonders if he WAS conceived out of wedlock. Do bastards even have souls? Obviously they can't go to heaven. My oldest swears all the time, he picked it up at kindergarten and probably also a from home, which has made me more mindful of trying to tone it down. I think he uses it mostly to test boundaries. E: come to think of it, it has gotten better.
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Nov 17, 2023 15:17
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Judgy Fucker posted:Kid has figured it out now but we were personae non gratae (I don't know Latin) for a while at daycare. The Latin is fuckae non shittus
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Nov 17, 2023 19:32
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Neither my wife nor I really swear, but I'm kinda bummed that I don't, since my plan for it is basically to swear in foreign languages and leftist. Just say pataq and capitalist instead of rear end in a top hat, perkele and vittu instead of gently caress and so forth. Get creative using swearing alternatives. Mr inspiration is an old teacher, who taught his pre school kid to say "sic transit gloria mundi" when she was annoyed with something. The teachers had to get an explanation, but it was not considered a bad swear.
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Nov 17, 2023 19:42
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that sounds like a good way to try to intentionally raise a Wes Anderson character as a child.
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Nov 17, 2023 20:23
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We rarely curse around our kid, she hasn't picked up on any of it yet. But she has started saying "you died" whenever she trips and falls or otherwise takes a spill. She thinks it's hilarious, sometimes she'll run and throw herself at the ground dramatically and go "you died!" And start laughing It started for a bit because of cuphead and came back tenfold when she saw it in bloodborne too Son of Thunderbeast has issued a correction as of 20:56 on Nov 17, 2023 |
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Nov 17, 2023 20:54
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Full disclosure: we did teach the kid to hate cars, so now when we're biking to or from school, he'll loudly shout "stupid cars" when there's a huge queue we're going past. On one hand, it owns, on the other, it's gonna get us in trouble one of these days.
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Nov 17, 2023 21:00
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DR FRASIER KRANG posted:that sounds like a good way to try to intentionally raise a Wes Anderson character as a child. lol
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Nov 17, 2023 21:08
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the other day my kid walked ahead of me so he could Be Cool and By Himself on the walk home from school. he got about a block ahead of me and then he stopped at intersection because a car came up the sidestreet and stopped across the pedestrian crossing so it could nose out onto the main arterial. then he did the pose Sonic does when you don't do anything for a bit in the game and he looked so goddamn annoyed.
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Nov 17, 2023 21:10
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DR FRASIER KRANG posted:the other day my kid walked ahead of me so he could Be Cool and By Himself on the walk home from school. You're too slow
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Nov 17, 2023 21:16
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it's his little brother if we are being honest.
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Nov 17, 2023 21:18
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DR FRASIER KRANG posted:it's his little brother if we are being honest. Tails would just fly over the intersection
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Nov 17, 2023 21:22
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Regarding bad words our strategy was not to point it out because our kids will keep doing anything that gets a rise out of us. They usually let it go pretty fast but if not we would just act like we didn't hear anything they said if it contained something bad and the negative reinforcement seemed to work. Once they were old enough the 'you can say it when your old but for now if you get in trouble in public you're getting it 10 fold at home' strategy worked great.
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Nov 18, 2023 00:30
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paid $300 to register for an infant daycare spot in February $1,650/month for Mon-Fri care and we felt lucky, the other places were more
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Nov 18, 2023 02:53
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Nov 18, 2023 03:04
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Really glad we didn't end up having to do that; when our first was born my wife took peak pandemic as an excuse to quit her job and we didn't do infant daycare at all. I've talked about it ITT before, daycare costs so goddamn much that for a lot of people you don't actually turn much of a profit from using it to get a second income and you're working just to avoid a Resume Gap, the system is that uncaring I really do think half the point of public schooling is to give people daycare so both parents can be good little worker bees, but of course the system is stupid as well as uncaring so we don't have universal Pre-K and you don't get that benefit until your youngest is 5
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Nov 18, 2023 04:19
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loquacius posted:Really glad we didn't end up having to do that; when our first was born my wife took peak pandemic as an excuse to quit her job and we didn't do infant daycare at all. I've talked about it ITT before, daycare costs so goddamn much that for a lot of people you don't actually turn much of a profit from using it to get a second income and you're working just to avoid a Resume Gap, the system is that uncaring neither of us can quit our jobs if we want to make ends meet, unfortunately. at least we'll get a $5,000 tax deduction from the dependent care FSA (love 2 have tax deductions instead of public services  )thankfully we have had a ton of help from my wife's parents and family (and some from my own parents), so he won't have to start daycare until he is 10 months old. one of our friends started daycare for their tiny little girl (borderline preemie) at 4 months. they also need both incomes and they hardly got any parental leave and zero family help. poo poo is rough out there Vox Nihili has issued a correction as of 04:46 on Nov 18, 2023 |
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Nov 18, 2023 04:43
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I'm honestly thinking about getting some certs so I can be some sort of school resource aid or substitute teacher. poo poo is gonna be so bad in a few years.
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Nov 18, 2023 06:08
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Thank you, child. Nobody has ever burst into the bathroom to hold my hand while I take a poo poo and I was never aware of the lack.
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Nov 18, 2023 12:38
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The best advice I ever hear comes outta my son's mouth. "You can do it!" and "Keep Trying, Keep Trying~ don't give up~" whenever I am visibly consternated at some task
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Nov 18, 2023 15:33
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KirbyKhan posted:The best advice I ever hear comes outta my son's mouth. "You can do it!" and "Keep Trying, Keep Trying~ don't give up~" whenever I am visibly consternated at some task https://youtu.be/KxGRhd_iWuE?si=XFekCM8dYX3-oItJ
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Nov 18, 2023 17:08
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The other night after kiddo went to bed I grabbed an ice cream sandwich from the fridge, took it to the bathroom to unwrap it where it wouldn't be super loud and obvious, then I turned around to see her standing in the doorway looking me right in the eyes as I was taking a bite. I was so busted I couldn't help laughing and splitting it with her. I decided there if she catches me during nighttime snack time, she'll get some (I didn't tell her this obviously). Leprechaun rules!
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Nov 22, 2023 06:41
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Son of Thunderbeast posted:The other night after kiddo went to bed I grabbed an ice cream sandwich from the fridge, took it to the bathroom to unwrap it where it wouldn't be super loud and obvious, then I turned around to see her standing in the doorway looking me right in the eyes as I was taking a bite. I was so busted I couldn't help laughing and splitting it with her. I decided there if she catches me during nighttime snack time, she'll get some (I didn't tell her this obviously). Leprechaun rules! I fear the days when I will not be moving our little guy from one safely enclosed pen to another
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Nov 22, 2023 06:44
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Vox Nihili posted:I fear the days when I will not be moving our little guy from one safely enclosed pen to another in my experience, you know they're ready to ditch the safety pen when they hurt themselves escaping it
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Nov 22, 2023 07:20
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loquacius posted:Really glad we didn't end up having to do that; when our first was born my wife took peak pandemic as an excuse to quit her job and we didn't do infant daycare at all. I've talked about it ITT before, daycare costs so goddamn much that for a lot of people you don't actually turn much of a profit from using it to get a second income and you're working just to avoid a Resume Gap, the system is that uncaring In addition to letting parents work there's also the increased atomization that's come with living in the 21st century. Unless you have an extremely strong preexisting social network of parents or are very, very lucky, the collective resources (human and otherwise) that would have been available in the past for a nonworking parent just don't exist anymore. You used to be able to count on a young child still having some sort of community to be a part of even if they weren't at school. These days it's likely to just be mom and kid all the time, which can get pretty rough for both of them.
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Nov 22, 2023 07:34
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PsychoInternetHawk posted:In addition to letting parents work there's also the increased atomization that's come with living in the 21st century. Unless you have an extremely strong preexisting social network of parents or are very, very lucky, the collective resources (human and otherwise) that would have been available in the past for a nonworking parent just don't exist anymore. Another aspect of this that gets forgotten in the "we let our kids play outside and they were fine" is that precious communities were more close knit. If your kid played outside you knew your neighbors, their kids, their in laws, etc etc so it was 'safer' in that there were more familiar eyeballs watching over kids.
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Nov 22, 2023 13:59
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My daughter loves sand. Like eating it. Just fistful on fistful until we had to leave the beach.
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Nov 22, 2023 17:23
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