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Ccs
Feb 25, 2011


Nice piece of fish posted:

Did he write more vampire books than The Lesser Dead? Anyway, that book is probably his weakest work I've read so far, but that's mainly because of the beginning. By the end of the book I had a strong favourable opinion of it, so it definitely is a book that asks for a little faith and patience to start off.

He has one more called The Suicide Motor Club which I haven't read because even though vampire bikers is a really metal idea, I'm not that big fan of biking culture. But its still Buehlman so maybe I should read it anyway

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/27246149

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Notahippie
Feb 4, 2003

Kids, it's not cool to have Shane MacGowan teeth

Ccs posted:

He has one more called The Suicide Motor Club which I haven't read because even though vampire bikers is a really metal idea, I'm not that big fan of biking culture. But its still Buehlman so maybe I should read it anyway

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/27246149

It’s a loose continuation of The Lesser Dead, in that it’s clearly in the same world but I don’t think there are repeating characters. I thought it was pretty weak, though. It’s my least favorite of his by a long shot.

Doctor Faustine
Sep 2, 2018

Nice piece of fish posted:

Did he write more vampire books than The Lesser Dead? Anyway, that book is probably his weakest work I've read so far, but that's mainly because of the beginning. By the end of the book I had a strong favourable opinion of it, so it definitely is a book that asks for a little faith and patience to start off.

The Suicide Motor Club is also a vampire book. It’s not as good as Between Two Fires but it’s still a lot of fun.

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.

Grimey Drawer
>The Patrick Rothfuss Thread: Let's Talk About Buehlman Instead

rollick
Mar 20, 2009
I was trying to think of a fantasy series that went years between books and still pulled it off and the best I came up with was John Crowley's four Ægypt books (1987, 1994, 2000 and 2007, with general acclaim for the last one). I remember that final book coming out, and people talking big about how long it had taken him. But it was still only 6 or 7 years between each one, which is a sprint by the Rothfuss standard.

The Strangest Finch
Nov 23, 2007

I'm not sure Glen Cook is planning on continuing the series but he did write a new Black Company book in 2018. Though I guess that wasn't so much to finish the story as it was to add a bit more in the middle of a series already completed. (I'm guessing there, I haven't actually finished that series yet and if it turns out Cook also just neglected to finish it and then returned nearly 20 years later to write a bit of irrelevant fluff in the middle I'll be pretty embarrassed.)

ulmont
Sep 15, 2010

IF I EVER MISS VOTING IN AN ELECTION (EVEN AMERICAN IDOL) ,OR HAVE UNPAID PARKING TICKETS, PLEASE TAKE AWAY MY FRANCHISE

rollick posted:

I was trying to think of a fantasy series that went years between books and still pulled it off

The Strangest Finch posted:

I'm not sure Glen Cook is planning on continuing the series but he did write a new Black Company book in 2018. Though I guess that wasn't so much to finish the story as it was to add a bit more in the middle of a series already completed. (I'm guessing there, I haven't actually finished that series yet and if it turns out Cook also just neglected to finish it and then returned nearly 20 years later to write a bit of irrelevant fluff in the middle I'll be pretty embarrassed.)

Cook didn't pull it off. That book - Port of Shadows - sucked and made the whole series worse.

But you don't have to just take my word for it:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=3900237&pagenumber=594&perpage=40&highlight=port+of+shadows#post526965662
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=3900237&pagenumber=420&perpage=40&highlight=port+of+shadows#post521179140
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=3900237&pagenumber=275&perpage=40&highlight=port+of+shadows#post514858310
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=2175822&pagenumber=372&perpage=40&highlight=port+of+shadows#post514770717
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=3892702&pagenumber=17&perpage=40&highlight=port+of+shadows#post497337415

The Strangest Finch
Nov 23, 2007


Womp. Welp that's not a particularly useful example then. Is the main truck of the series worth it? I've only finished the first trilogy and haven't really bothered seeking out the rest yet.

ulmont
Sep 15, 2010

IF I EVER MISS VOTING IN AN ELECTION (EVEN AMERICAN IDOL) ,OR HAVE UNPAID PARKING TICKETS, PLEASE TAKE AWAY MY FRANCHISE

The Strangest Finch posted:

Womp. Welp that's not a particularly useful example then. Is the main truck of the series worth it? I've only finished the first trilogy and haven't really bothered seeking out the rest yet.

I liked them all (other than "Port of Shadows"), but tastes differ after the first trilogy.

The traditional stopping points are after "The White Rose" (ends the books of the North), after "The Silver Spike" (ends the books of the North plus additional coda), after "Dreams of Steel" (ends the books of the South), or after "Soldiers Live" (you're all in at that point). Ignore "Port of Shadows."

rollick
Mar 20, 2009
Looking up examples, Michael Moorcock's Pyat Quartet went from 1992 to 2006 before the last volume (which doesn't sound great), and there is apparently an unfinished sequel to Samuel Delany's Stars in My Pockets Like Grains of Sand (1984).

Also lol that The Last Dangerous Visions is still promising to come out any year now.

ccubed
Jul 14, 2016

How's it hanging, brah?
Ursula K. Le Guin's Earthsea Cycle. A Wizard of Earthsea (1968), The Tombs of Atuan, (1970) and The Farthest Shore (1972), Tehanu (1990), and Tales from Earthsea and The Other Wind (both 2001).

But that's kind of cheating since she's probably the best fantasy (and sci fi) author of all time.

Kchama
Jul 25, 2007

ulmont posted:

Cook didn't pull it off. That book - Port of Shadows - sucked and made the whole series worse.

Port of Shadows sounds like a Heretic level.

Iucounu
May 12, 2007


Jack Vance’s Demon Princes series started in 1964 and ended in 1981 with a 12 year gap between books 3 and 4.

Inspector Gesicht
Oct 26, 2012

500 Zeus a body.


Belated sequels are more acceptable over belated installments. Rofthuss has only told two thirds of a story.

Ethics_Gradient
May 5, 2015

Common misconception that; that fun is relaxing. If it is, you're not doing it right.

anilEhilated posted:

>The Patrick Rothfuss Thread: Let's Talk About Buehlman Instead

I read his bio and was startled to realise I already knew of him... as the insult comic from a Florida Rennaisaunce festival I went to back in college.

Nice piece of fish
Jan 29, 2008

Ultra Carp

Ethics_Gradient posted:

I read his bio and was startled to realise I already knew of him... as the insult comic from a Florida Rennaisaunce festival I went to back in college.

>The Patrick Rothfuss Thread: Even The Insult Comic Can Do A Better Job

Ravenfood
Nov 4, 2011

ccubed posted:

Ursula K. Le Guin's Earthsea Cycle. A Wizard of Earthsea (1968), The Tombs of Atuan, (1970) and The Farthest Shore (1972), Tehanu (1990), and Tales from Earthsea and The Other Wind (both 2001).

But that's kind of cheating since she's probably the best fantasy (and sci fi) author of all time.
Also each book works as a standalone and the first three make a satisfying arc in their own right. Tehanu is a great addition to the series and makes the first three better, but they don't feel incomplete without it.

lukevictorious
Mar 31, 2019

this is the water
Guess it's time to read the "new" novella and tell y'all how it is. He's already reused his might not want to buy this book shtick from Slow Regard, so strap in.

Lottery of Babylon
Apr 25, 2012

STRAIGHT TROPIN'

Slapping "this book might be not for you" warnings on everything like he's Lemony Snicket.

"If you are interested in stories with endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no ending, there is hardly any beginning and very few things happen in the middle. This is because not very many interesting things happened in the life of the one Edema Ruh orphan. Kvothe was an intelligent child, and he was charming, and resourceful, and had pleasant facial features, and was absolutely not a virgin, please don't put in the newspaper that he was a virgin, but he was extremely tedious, and most everything that happened to him was rife with self-aggrandizement, aimless meandering, and student loan bills. I’m sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes."

Precambrian Video Games
Aug 19, 2002



Kvothe's also in the top, Baru Cormorant-level tier of protagonists who do accounting. Plus he's killed more kings I presume, and also I'm not sure what the exchange rate on dukes is.

Strom Cuzewon
Jul 1, 2010

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Slapping "this book might be not for you" warnings on everything like he's Lemony Snicket.

"If you are interested in stories with endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no ending, there is hardly any beginning and very few things happen in the middle. This is because not very many interesting things happened in the life of the one Edema Ruh orphan. Kvothe was an intelligent child, and he was charming, and resourceful, and had pleasant facial features, and was absolutely not a virgin, please don't put in the newspaper that he was a virgin, but he was extremely tedious, and most everything that happened to him was rife with self-aggrandizement, aimless meandering, and student loan bills. I’m sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes."

The Unfortunate Events netflix show made me realise how big an impact Lemony Snickett had on my child-brain. And those silly mawkish books still have a better take on trauma, poverty and betrayal than anything Rothfuss has touched.

Ccs
Feb 25, 2011


I went into a bookstore recently and saw the “new” book took up half a shelf of the fantasy section and sighed. Meanwhile I couldn’t find any Erickson, Abercrombie, Muir, or even Sanderson on the shelves. Fourth Wing though aso took up a huge amount of space.

lukevictorious
Mar 31, 2019

this is the water

Ccs posted:

I went into a bookstore recently and saw the “new” book took up half a shelf of the fantasy section and sighed. Meanwhile I couldn’t find any Erickson, Abercrombie, Muir, or even Sanderson on the shelves. Fourth Wing though aso took up a huge amount of space.

Did you sigh like the stairs, which is not a saying or simile in any language as far as I loving know?


Rothfuss posted:

He knew which stairs sighed when it had rained the night before

This book is real bad, I vaguely remember liking the short story when I read it in Rogues even though I was done with Rothfuss. Either him expanding it ruined it or I gained a modicum of taste. Probably both. Also I was gonna leave the artist out of it but the illustrations are godawful too. I can try and effort post this but I don't have the analytical skills of BotL or the wit and humor of the guy who did the WMF read on his blog that pops up here.

Kchama
Jul 25, 2007

lukevictorious posted:

Did you sigh like the stairs, which is not a saying or simile in any language as far as I loving know?

This book is real bad, I vaguely remember liking the short story when I read it in Rogues even though I was done with Rothfuss. Either him expanding it ruined it or I gained a modicum of taste. Probably both. Also I was gonna leave the artist out of it but the illustrations are godawful too. I can try and effort post this but I don't have the analytical skills of BotL or the wit and humor of the guy who did the WMF read on his blog that pops up here.

Try to effort-post anyways.

mp5
Jan 1, 2005

Stroke of luck!

lukevictorious posted:

I can try and effort post this but I don't have the analytical skills of BotL or the wit and humor of the guy who did the WMF read on his blog that pops up here.

80% of success is just showing up

Tree Dude
May 26, 2012

AND MY SONG IS...
Where's this WMF blog? I think I somehow missed that one.

lukevictorious
Mar 31, 2019

this is the water
I was thinking of this one

https://doinginthewizard.wordpress.com/2013/10/25/lets-review-the-wise-mans-fear/

I'm dry for January and unemployed so I'll get cracking on the intro and chapter one here soon.

lukevictorious
Mar 31, 2019

this is the water
An introduction, not in three parts. I'm a college dropout, I read at least 100 books a year. Not because I'm smart, but just because it's my preferred form of entertainment. Mostly genre fiction with the occasionaI non-fiction dropped in there to mix it up. I find reading easier and more engaging than watching TV or movies. The last time I wrote anything besides an email or a resume I still indented and double spaced after periods, so I guess we'll stick to that here.

In all honesty I liked and maybe even loved The Name of the Wind when it came out. I'm not the most critical of readers, I'm more likely to notice plot holes and general grammar mistakes rather than underlying structural problems. I read books to turn my brain off, which is probably why I liked NotW in the first place. I bought the lie about the series being finished. I was never a Wheel of Time guy and hadn't gotten into Game of Thrones yet so the long unfinished series that bugged me through adolescence was the Dark Tower. Which, wow, those last three books aren't great, but that's another thread.

Obviously whatever he handed to his agent/publisher wasn't anywhere close to a finished series, so God knows why they marketed it that way, except to get suckers like me. But then the sequel came out, and Wise Man's Fear took any enjoyment or desire to read this series and handily destroyed it, I guess it's like how I can watch and enjoy say, Family Guy for the jokes while recognizing it isn't very well made, whereas something like Big Bang Theory makes me want to tear my eyeballs out my head and shove sharp objects in my ears. Sort of like Paul on the road to Damascus, except about a dumb fantasy series(Two bad novels and two worse novellas, really.)

My public education and state university means any critiques I've ever written are closer to book reports. BotL understood something about critical analysis beyond what you get at say the AV Club(even when it was good), and I don't have that same understanding. But I can tell when something is bad, and well, this ain't good. I'm gonna let Pat do his whole introduction now, and then we'll get into it.

Rothfuss posted:

You might not want to buy this book.

I know, that’s not the sort of thing an author is supposed to say. But I’d rather be honest with you right out of the gate.

First, if you haven’t read my other books, you probably don’t want to start here.

My first two books are The Name of the Wind and The Wise Man’s Fear. If you’re curious to try my writing, start there. They’re the best introduction to my words and my world. This book deals with Bast, a character from that series. And while I’ve done my best to make this story stand on its own, if you start here, you’re going to be missing a lot of context.

Second, if you have read my other work, you should know a version of this story was published in the beforetimes. Back in the long, long ago. Back before COVID. Back when Twitter was fun, and the world was green and new.

Which is to say a little less than ten years ago. I published a version of this story under the title “The Lightning Tree” in an anthology called Rogues. I talk about this a little in my author’s note at the end of the book, but suffice to say that the version you’re holding is wildly different: I’ve obsessively re-written it, added 15,000+ words, and worked with the fabulous Nate Taylor to add over 40 illustrations.

That said, if you read “The Lightning Tree” back in the day, you know the shape of this story. There’s much that is different, much changed, much added, but the bones are the same. So if you’re looking for something utterly new, you’re not going to find it here.

On the other hand, if you’d like to learn more about Bast, this book has a lot to offer. If you’re curious about faerie bargains and the secret desires hearts can hold. If you’re curious about magics only glimpsed in my other books. If you want to know more about what Bast does in his spare time in the small town of Newarre….

Well, then this book might be for you.

We all know Pat is a lazy writer, but self-plagiarism might be a new low. I'm tempted to skip ahead to the author's note at the end just to see how he justifies this, but we're gonna try and stay the course. Some books I completely skip introductions on, or the e-book unfortunately has skipped them for me, and sometimes I enjoy the introduction as much as the book, I am a Stephen King fan after all. Rothfuss is no Stephen King, he's not even Dean Koontz, hell, he ain't even James Patterson.

The Lightning Tree was published in Rogues, and I'm pretty sure I read that cover to cover. I'm a sucker for short stories, once again, Stephen King fan, etc. I'm not gonna gonna go back and compare and contrast it with this, because that sounds like Hell. But from what I remember, it was a fun little read in a fantasy anthology, it didn't wear out it's welcome, and I was probably halfway through it before I realized it was goddamn Pat Rothfuss writing. I was surprised that an editor had gottten a new piece of writing out of him, and I was surprised I enjoyed it.

The Lightning Tree is a vastly better title than The Narrow Road Between Desires, it's punchy, it doesn't draw attention to itself, it fits right into a genre anthology. So of course Pat had to change that, and yes, I'm guessing it was Pat. Maybe his publisher wanted it to fit more with the titles of his other books, but I just don't get that vibe. The Narrow Road Between Desires(maybe NRBD from now on, or maybe I'll keep typing it out as punishment)is exactly the kind of faux-poetry type prose that Rothfuss can not get enough of and wields like a trademark.

I'll turn 39 this year, I've desired some things. I don't recall a narrow road between any of them. Titles don't have to make sense, I admit, and I know both in genre fiction and mainstream lit authors are often pushed into a title they outright don't like because their publisher thinks it would sell better. The only reason this thing is going to sell is because even in 2024, lost in the flood of information constantly delivered to us, people are going to pick this thing up because they remember reading NotW in '07 and recognize the author's name. Worse, some of them are going to pick it up thinking it's the third book in the "trilogy", the same way they did when Slow Regard came out.

It's also amazing that he mentions ten years being a long time ago, with all his cutesy bullshit. WMF is 2011, right? I would have thought this guy would try to avoid mentioning the passing of time as much as humanly possible, but I guess he really wanted to get that Twitter comment in. I have my own reasons and rose-tinted glasses about 2014, poo poo, I was at the end of my twenties instead of the end of my thirties. But it wasn't some magic special time by a long shot. Maybe it's because people weren't bugging him so much about the third book yet, must be why he misses that time of his life. When he could post on twitter and not every reply was asking where the book was. Now that I write that out, I'm sure of it.

In comparing the intro to this and Slow Regard, I noticed that the illustrations in Slow Regard are by the same artist. I know even less about art than I do about writing, but this is curious. Because the illustrations in the free sample of Slow Regard are well done, and the illustrations I've gotten to so far in this are just sloppy and lazy. Is this guy buddies with Rothfuss, or is he just working for a paycheck? I'd be curious to find out, if anybody wants to go down that rabbit hole.

I'm gonna stop here and do chapter one next time, I think. One last note, for those of you who have been in this thread from the beginning. I checked Tor to see how they were promoting this, especially after stumbling into their adoring re-read of WMF, which is a polar opposite from the blog I posted above. It's the last line in particular that irks me, but we're gonna post the whole thing, especially to compare it to others.

Tor.com posted:

Patrick Rothfuss is the bestselling author of The Kingkiller Chronicle. His first novel, The Name of the Wind, won the Quill Award and was a Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year. Its sequel, The Wise Man’s Fear, debuted at #1 on The New York Times bestseller chart and won the David Gemmell Legend Award. His novels have appeared on NPR’s Top 100 Science Fiction/Fantasy Books list and Locus’s Best 21st Century Fantasy Novels list. Pat lives in Wisconsin, where he brews mead, builds box forts with his children, and runs Worldbuilders, a book-centered charity that has raised more than 16 million dollars for charity, the lion’s share going to Heifer International. He can be found at patrickrothfuss.com and on Twitch at twitch.tv/patrickrothfuss.

I picked a contemporary author at random from Tor, because something about this didn't sit right with me. I know authors often write their own about the author section, and I'm sure that's probably true in both of these cases. Let's look at Tamsyn Muir's, shall we?

Tor.com posted:

TAMSYN MUIR is the bestselling author of the Locked Tomb Series. Her fiction has won the Locus and Crawford awards, and been nominated for the Hugo Award, the Nebula Award, the Shirley Jackson Award, the World Fantasy Award, the Dragon Award, and the Eugie Foster Memorial Award. A Kiwi, she has spent most of her life in Howick, New Zealand, with time living in Waiuku and central Wellington. She currently lives and works in Oxford, in the United Kingdom.

Both start with their bestselling series. Both list the awards they've received. Both end with where they live. Pat however, lists things that aren't awards, just lists of fantasy novels. Muir mentions nothing about her personal life. Pat wants you to know all about him.

We know Pat doesn't actually brew mead, because you have to follow instructions for that. Those box forts with his kids are definitely Cheerios boxes. And Heifer International? It's a real charity, that his "charity" "contributes" to.

gently caress this guy, gently caress this book, and gently caress me for saying I'd do this.

The Ninth Layer
Jun 20, 2007

So it's a rewrite of a story he had already written and published? Wow I knew Pat was lazy but that's next level. Imagine being a mega fan waiting years praying for a majestic third book and then he finally releases a new book and it's a rewrite of an old short story.

ccubed
Jul 14, 2016

How's it hanging, brah?

quote:

Which is to say a little less than ten years ago. I published a version of this story under the title “The Lightning Tree” in an anthology called Rogues. I talk about this a little in my author’s note at the end of the book, but suffice to say that the version you’re holding is wildly different: I’ve obsessively re-written it, added 15,000+ words, and worked with the fabulous Nate Taylor to add over 40 illustrations.

I found this pretty funny. He's really trying to impress you with how much work he's done here. But 15,000 words is about 50 pages. Ten years to pad out a short story by 50 pages. I guess 90 because of the extra 40 illustrations that he didn't have anything to do with.

mp5
Jan 1, 2005

Stroke of luck!

god, of course he claims to be a homebrew mead guy

lukevictorious
Mar 31, 2019

this is the water

mp5 posted:

god, of course he claims to be a homebrew mead guy

Oh buddy, you don't know the half of it.

https://blog.patrickrothfuss.com/2013/09/on-the-making-of-metheglin/

In which he claims that Vikings had no process for their mead, amongst other nonsense. I recommend everyone read that while I work on chapter one.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012
The mead story is particularly indicative of his personality and thought process

quote:

But as I read more it all started sounding like a *huge* pain in the rear end. The books went on and on about about how I’m supposed to check the ph level and… I don’t know, hydroginize things or some poo poo like that.

What it sounds like is a lot of fiddly bullshit work to me, and that’s not what I signed up for. I wasn’t looking for a part time job. I didn’t want to babysit this goddamn thing for 6 months, petting it and taking its temperature and cooing sweet nothings in its ear.

No. I wanted to muck about with glass bottles and tubes for an afternoon. I wanted to make a potion. I wanted to do some goddamn mad science and then not think about it again until the stuff was ready to drink.

Then I thought to myself, “Self,” I thought. “This is bullshit. Vikings made this, and I guarantee that they did not own a hydrometer. They just thumped it together in a barrel and then drank it and pillaged some poo poo.”

I would imply he fabricated the whole thing but that would mean he actually wrote something new.

Ccs
Feb 25, 2011


The title does sort of make sense to me. The narrow road between desires evokes the sense that the desires are all encompassing things and the only way past them is a very sparse path, which you're liable to lose track of or wander off if you're being attracted by temptations on either side. It sets a good tone for a story about someone who is going to suffer a tragic fall because they cannot uphold their values, or someone who manages to maintain their principles against all odds.

But I have no idea if thats what the story is actually about, and having read The Lighting Tree, I don't think that's what its about? Unless I missed something and the story was about Bast being tempted to abuse his fae powers but managing to resist it. But from what I remember it was just him toying with and then helping some children, while at the same time covering how many women in the village he was sleeping with.

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

pentyne posted:

The mead story is particularly indicative of his personality and thought process

I would imply he fabricated the whole thing but that would mean he actually wrote something new.

When I think of how much work I do to balance flavors, sanitize, avoid cross-contamination, perfect the temp/light/humidity for aging, etc. when brewing and he just shits on the entire process.

Mead typically requires months, if not years, of bottle aging to become really drinkable. A lot of the herbs he's adding are super bitter and the yeasts are so dry, I can't imagine that tasting even remotely good, especially so young and raw. Its also laughable that he claims there's anything psychotropic in his ingredients, in those amounts.

Then again, half-assing something and pretending its fantastic is basically his brand.

Actually, it reminds me of his blog where he compares the Hobbit films to crushing on a girl and being disgusted with her sexuality. He romanticizes things he doesn't really know - brewing, women - and makes them conform to his fantasy in his head, but will disparage the real life person/process.

Kchama
Jul 25, 2007
The worst part of the Hobbit Film post is that he compared the Hobbit Films to finding out that the nerdy girl you liked in High School because you probably could have had her if you lowered your standards is now a Hot Porn Star and thus unavailable and disgusting.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Kchama posted:

The worst part of the Hobbit Film post is that he compared the Hobbit Films to finding out that the nerdy girl you liked in High School because you probably could have had her if you lowered your standards is now a Hot Porn Star and thus unavailable and disgusting.

He's a walking stereotype of the Joss Wheadon feminist.

Its honestly worse then most people are remembering

https://blog.patrickrothfuss.com/2012/02/concerning-hobbits-love-and-movie-adaptations/

quote:

You know that it’s going to be like? It’s going to be like wandering onto an internet porn site and seeing a video of a girl I had a crush on in high school. You probably knew someone like her. The smart girl. The shy girl. The one who wore glasses and was a little socially awkward. The one who screwed up the curve in chemistry so you got an A- instead of an A.

She was a geek girl before anybody knew what a geek girl was. And that was kinda awesome, because you were a geek boy before being a geek was culturally acceptable.

You liked her because she was funny. And she was smart. And you could actually talk to her. And she read books.

And sure, she was girl-shaped, and that was cool. And she was cute, in an understated, freckly way. And sometimes you’d stare at her breasts when you were supposed to be paying attention in biology. But you were 16. You stared at everyone’s breasts back then.

And yeah, you had some fantasies about her, because, again, you were 16. But they were fairly modest fantasies about making out in the back of a car. Maybe you’d get to second base. Maybe you could steal third if you were lucky.

And maybe, just maybe, something delightful and terrifying might happen. And yeah, it would probably be awkward and fumbling at times, but that’s okay because she’d be doing half the fumbling too. Because the only experience either one of you had was from books. And afterwards, if you make a Star Wars joke, you know she’ll get it, and she’ll laugh….

That’s the girl you fell in love with in high school. You didn’t have a crush on her because she was some simmering pool of molten sex. You loved her because she was subtle and sweet and smart and special.

So you stroll onto this porn site, and there she is. Except now she’s wearing a thong and a black leather halter top. She’s wearing gently caress-me red lipstick and a lot of dark eye makeup. Her breasts are amazing now, proud and perfectly round.

Someone’s taught her to dance, and she does it well. She’s flexible and tan. She has a flat midriff and walks like a high-class Vegas stripper. Her eyes are dark and smouldering. She has a riding crop, and she likes to be tied up, and her too-red mouth forms a perfect circle as she sighs and moans, and tosses her head in a performance designed to win any number of academy awards….

And what’s the problem with this? Well… in some ways, nothing. What you’ve found is perfectly good porn. Maybe even great porn.

But in other ways the problem is blindingly obvious. This girl has nothing in common with your high-school crush except for her social security number. Everything you loved about her is gone.

We loved the sweet, shy, freckly girl. We still remember her name, and after all these years she lives close to our heart. Seeing her in lipstick and stiletto heels dancing on a pole is like watching Winnie the Pooh do heroin and then glass someone in a bar fight.

PJOmega
May 5, 2009

pentyne posted:

He's a walking stereotype of the Joss Wheadon feminist.

Its honestly worse then most people are remembering

https://blog.patrickrothfuss.com/2012/02/concerning-hobbits-love-and-movie-adaptations/

Honestly I don't know which is worse, that he wrote that and published it on his blog unironically or that there are only a few responses that mildly rebuke it.

Kchama
Jul 25, 2007

PJOmega posted:

Honestly I don't know which is worse, that he wrote that and published it on his blog unironically or that there are only a few responses that mildly rebuke it.

I'd be shocked if proper rebukings were allowed to stay up.

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Evil Fluffy
Jul 13, 2009

Scholars are some of the most pompous and pedantic people I've ever had the joy of meeting.

pentyne posted:

He's a walking stereotype of the Joss Wheadon feminist.

He worships Joss Wheadon so this isn't exactly a surprise.

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