2023 NFL Coaching Carousel: The Night of Short Drives

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2023 NFL Coaching Carousel: The Night of Short Drives

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Dr_Strangelove: Dec 16, 2003; Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!

FizFashizzle posted:

UNC Grad, asheville native coming in to Carolina and fixing things would be a movie script if not for the fact the owner is so lovely that people are texting him the warning from Alien.

Depiction of Johnson reading the texts:

# ? Dec 3, 2023 16:01

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# ? May 23, 2024 05:59

wazu: Jan 26, 2004

Pontius Pilate posted:

Moore has been an upgrade, over an admittedly very low bar, but not as much as I was hoping. Some of it is the roster being injured/older/not as good as we thought, but he still hasn�t been spectacular or anything. That said, fire Staley way, way before him

I guess I was expecting Moore to result in the Chargers taking a giant leap and at least putting some pressure on the Chiefs. The narrative had been they were being held back by bad coaching. I still think Moore is a good OC, but would want to see him on a successful team before hiring him as a head coach.

# ? Dec 3, 2023 17:01

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Benne posted:

Oh so he's gonna hire Kellen after all the good candidates turn him down and then pretend that was his first choice all along

Or Moore turns him down and he has to go after someone like Brian Schottenheimer

# ? Dec 3, 2023 17:11

Black Lighter: Sep 6, 2010; Just keep looking at what we're doing, keep watering and ask yourselves first and know 'Are you watering? And are you fertilizing every day?' So when it's time to pop, it'll pop.

fartknocker posted:

Or Moore turns him down and he has to go after someone like Brian Schottenheimer

This is what's going to happen. Right now Tepper is the lovely kid no one likes sending out a million invitations to his birthday party, but no one's gonna show up

# ? Dec 3, 2023 17:22

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

fartknocker posted:

Or Moore turns him down and he has to go after someone like Brian Schottenheimer

You really don't ever HAVE to go after someone like a Brian Schottenheimer

# ? Dec 3, 2023 17:48

MD2020: May 30, 2003; she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Ornery and Hornery posted:

The primary reason that the Dallas 2023 offense (McCarthy) looks better than the Dallas 2022 offense (Moore) is the huge difference interceptions. (Edit: for 12 games: 6 interceptions in 2023, 15 in 2022! )

Anecdotally, many of the 2022 interceptions seemed fluky and not really Dak�s fault. I think the Dallas playoff loss last year is a good example.

One of Dak's interceptions in that game was tipped, but it still wasn't a good decision. The other was the defender jumping the route.

# ? Dec 3, 2023 18:26

Incitatus: Dec 16, 2005; The Meat Man was out of wings, Mr. William Ash More!

give me a coach who will show his rear end to the players.

# ? Dec 3, 2023 19:49

Kirios: Jan 26, 2010

I know there�s only 32 head coaching spots and you almost always take it - if nothing else for the money.

But�I�m pretty sure I�d avoid anything Tepper related like the plague.

# ? Dec 3, 2023 19:50

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

wazu posted:

I guess I was expecting Moore to result in the Chargers taking a giant leap and at least putting some pressure on the Chiefs. The narrative had been they were being held back by bad coaching. I still think Moore is a good OC, but would want to see him on a successful team before hiring him as a head coach.

They are held back by bad coaching.

Look who coaches the defense.

# ? Dec 3, 2023 23:29

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

Kellen Moore with a statement about his worth as a HC candidate

# ? Dec 3, 2023 23:39

kalensc: Sep 10, 2003; Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby

FizFashizzle posted:

https://x.com/DMRussini/status/1731064857271701548?s=20

UNC Grad, asheville native coming in to Carolina and fixing things would be a movie script if not for the fact the owner is so lovely that people are texting him the warning from Alien.

Tepper gonna complain about reverse tampering

# ? Dec 4, 2023 02:43

Hizawk: Jun 18, 2004; High on the Lions.

kalensc posted:

Tepper gonna complain about reverse tampering

Teppering

# ? Dec 4, 2023 03:55

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

mcmagic posted:

This would be a terrible hire. They need a program builder, not a playcaller.

They need someone who can tell Tepper to gently caress off when he interferes. That's not going to happen with Moore.

# ? Dec 4, 2023 04:04

BlindSite: Feb 8, 2009

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

They need someone who can tell Tepper to gently caress off when he interferes. That's not going to happen with Moore.

Agree, give me Harbaugh

# ? Dec 4, 2023 04:05

Ches Neckbeard: Dec 3, 2005; You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

They need someone who can tell Tepper to gently caress off when he interferes. That's not going to happen with Moore.

Do you want Jom Tomsula and Chip Kelly after he does that?

# ? Dec 4, 2023 04:08

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

BlindSite posted:

Agree, give me Harbaugh

Harbaugh and Tepper would result in a Mexican standoff that kills both of them, the question is whether it happens in 2 years, 6 months, or 17 minutes into the interview.

# ? Dec 4, 2023 04:09

Rogue Elephant: May 1, 2007

edit: wrong thread

# ? Dec 4, 2023 04:10

The Unnamed One: Jan 13, 2012; "BOOM!"

Ches Neckbeard posted:

Do you want Jom Tomsula and Chip Kelly after he does that?

Tomsula is a proven champion

# ? Dec 4, 2023 04:10

BlindSite: Feb 8, 2009

fartknocker posted:

Harbaugh and Tepper would result in a Mexican standoff that kills both of them, the question is whether it happens in 2 years, 6 months, or 17 minutes into the interview.

Im still yet to see a downside/

# ? Dec 4, 2023 04:52

Nervous: Jan 25, 2005; Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

BlindSite posted:

Im still yet to see a downside/

Harbaugh was destined to coach the man who would use his NFL fame and money to cure cancer. Without Harbaugh's influence, they toil in mediocrity on the Patriots, wash out of the league after a couple of years, and blow all their money on a theme chain restaurant that goes under.

But no Tepper, so you gotta take the bad with the good.

# ? Dec 4, 2023 05:00

Ornery and Hornery: Oct 22, 2020

Not enough firings imo

# ? Dec 4, 2023 18:26

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Any other coach would have been fired by New England today.

# ? Dec 4, 2023 18:27

Darude - Adam Sandstorm: Aug 16, 2012

Winning a half dozen super bowls has its perks.

# ? Dec 4, 2023 18:36

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

The Unnamed One posted:

Tomsula is a proven champion

# ? Dec 4, 2023 18:36

Darude - Adam Sandstorm: Aug 16, 2012

https://twitter.com/jwyattsports/status/1731735076369473911

That'll fix things

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:02

Canned Sunshine: Nov 20, 2005; CAUTION: POST QUALITY UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Whoever the Panthers hire, should require that a clause be adding into the contract that guarantees at least a full season of coaching, and can�t be fired before the end of the season.

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:05

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

Darude - Adam Sandstorm posted:

https://twitter.com/jwyattsports/status/1731735076369473911

That'll fix things

Special teams allowed blocked punts on back to back attempts which lead to the punter getting hurt. It's deserved

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:07

Diva Cupcake: Aug 15, 2005

Why? Entire coaching contracts are guaranteed. Who cares if you�re fired in W13 or after Y1 when you have another $40m you�re owed.

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:07

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

https://twitter.com/1heBoy/status/1731729808533692905?t=vSY9temEN2SPMLl_Y19uSA&s=19

Jack Nicholson Yes gif

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:08

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

Peter King goes after Tepper today in FMIA

He's the king of NFL access journalism. If he's comfortable going after an owner that hard, gotta wonder what the rest of the league thinks of the Panthers owner.

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:10

Nodoze: Aug 17, 2006; If it's only for a night I can live without you

I wouldn't want my team to hire Kellen Moore but I am for someone else doing it so I can see the car crash

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:14

Shinji2015: Aug 31, 2007; Keen on the hygiene and on the mission like a super technician.

FizFashizzle posted:

Peter King goes after Tepper today in FMIA

He's the king of NFL access journalism. If he's comfortable going after an owner that hard, gotta wonder what the rest of the league thinks of the Panthers owner.

Jerry Jones: man, even I think he's too hands on

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:32

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

A link to King's article: https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/fmia/news/nfl-san-francisco-49ers-christian-mccaffrey-dak-prescott-fmia-week-13-peter-king

the Tepper content:

quote:

David Tepper: Steinbrenner without the winning.

quote:

Tepper Troubles

It wasn�t particularly surprising that Carolina owner David Tepper fired coach Frank Reich last Monday. It�s Tepper�s M.O. In the last 48 months, Tepper has fired three full-time head coaches in mid-season. After 28 games of ownership, he dismissed Ron Rivera. He fired Matt Rhule 38 games into his seven-year contract. Now he fired Reich after just 11 games. Tepper also owns the MLS franchise Charlotte FC, and in its two years of existence, he has fired both head coaches. This means:

None of Tepper�s five head coaches has lasted as long as 2.5 seasons.

His five head coaches in two sports have lasted an average of 29 games under his ownership, which began in 2018.

Tepper willingly sold the farm to draft quarterback Bryce Young in April, then fired the two coaches in place to nurture and develop him, Reich and QB coach Josh McCown, after 10 months on the job�even though Young liked and trusted both coaches in the midst of a disastrous season marked by one of the leakiest offensive lines in football.

An owner whose tutelage in the game involved nine years as a minority owner of the Steelers has now forgotten everything he saw in Pittsburgh. Tepper has employed three head coaches and three interim coaches in the past four calendar years. The Steelers have employed three head coaches in the last 54 years.

Tepper is Carolina�s biggest impediment to success.

It�s easy, and justifiable, for an owner to be impatient and angry at being 1-10 after trading up to pick a quarterback with the top pick in the draft. But intelligent people who understand the market and world they�re living in should understand what it takes to succeed in it. Tepper doesn�t. His kneejerk reaction is: We stink, and the quarterback we passed on is setting the league on fire, and our quarterback looks like he�s a JV player. Heads must roll. The specter of C.J. Stroud�s overwhelming success in turning around Houston overnight after Young went one and Stroud two in the draft should have zero to do with Carolina�s decision-making. But let�s be real. An emotional owner like Tepper has to find the juxtaposition between his QB and Houston�s unacceptable. So Reich walks the plank.

The Panthers won five of their last eight games last year, which led some in Carolina to think the franchise, with some good defensive pieces, was just a quarterback away from contention. Let�s look how they won those five games. Carolina rushed for an average of 226 yards per game in those five wins, an astounding 5.1 yards per rush�after trading Christian McCaffrey. More astounding: Carolina had a fifties-era run-pass ratio of 69-31, crazy at a time when the average rushing rate is about 41 percent per game. The Panthers didn�t trade a huge ransom to be a counter-culture running team. Changing to a passing team, particularly after trading the number one receiver as part of the package to draft Young, wasn�t going to happen overnight.

Changing a football philosophy takes time. Chuck Noll was 1-13 his first year in Pittsburgh, Bill Walsh 2-14 in his first year in San Francisco, Jimmy Johnson 1-15 in his first year in Dallas. They went on to win 10 Super Bowls, total, with those teams. Not saying Reich would have won anything, but how can you know, 10 months into his tenure? (In Detroit, Dan Campbell in his first 11 games was 0-10-1; he�s 20-14 since.)

Young hasn�t played well overall. But he�s also been under significant pressure consistently. Over his first 11 games, he�s the only regular starter this year to have faced pressure on at least a third of his pass-drops each game, per Next Gen Stats. Not healthy for a good passing game, particularly after trading your best receiver. One more Next Gen negative: Carolina left tackle Ikem Ekwonu has allowed the fourth-most pressures (62) among all offensive linemen�and center Bradley Bozeman is worst in the league at his position in sacks (eight) and pressures (40) allowed.

There�s one other thing, as told to me by one NFL offensive coach with a long history in the league: �One thing these owners who fire people quickly don�t understand is what it takes to build a team, particularly a team with a rookie quarterback. The quarterback comes in his first year after the draft, and it�s a short offseason, and if he�s going to start right away, it�s an accelerated process. So you go through that first year, and you�re looking forward to correcting all his mistakes and continuing to build him up in a full off-season in year two. So you fire his head coach who I�m sure was pretty hands-on and his quarterback coach in the middle of his first year, and he works with other people for the rest of that year, and then everybody gets fired, and then there�s a third group that comes in to coach the young quarterback. I mean, maybe they�ll keep the coaches who stayed after Reich, but I doubt it. So the young quarterback getting coached by three different sets of people in his first 12 months as your franchise quarterback. How is that healthy?�

It isn�t. It�s lunacy.

What is bothersome about Tepper is he camped out in Matt Rhule�s driveway in Waco, Texas, waiting for him to come back from vacation with his family in January 2020, just so he could get the first shot at hiring him. He gave Rhule a rich seven-year contract, and fired him a month into the third season. He hired Reich, who taught Carson Wentz in his best year in Philly, who was hands-on with Nick Foles in the Super Bowl year, who had playoff years with Andrew Luck and Philip Rivers in Indy, and then he got dumb in his first 10 months in Carolina. How does Tepper entrust him on a clear rebuild with a patchwork offensive line and after trading the number one receiver�and then fire him when the team is awful three months in?

I feel for the fans in Carolina. The Panthers will have to either franchise or overpay their best player, edge rusher Brian Burns, a free agent in March, to stay on this sinking ship. After dealing McCaffrey and D.J. Moore in the last 14 months, they�ve got massive offensive holes and their only proven, reliable receiver, Adam Thielen, will be 34 next opening day. The way to not fix things is with impatience, which is Tepper�s best trait.

The Panthers are miles from hopelessness, and the captain of the ship leads the league in panic. He�s Steinbrenner without the winning. Now the question is: Is there anyone in his life, or in the Panthers� organization, who can keep David Tepper from driving this franchise off a cliff?

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:36

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when Tepper read that.

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:42

hifi: Jul 25, 2012

If you fire belichick do you suddenly have to figure out like 2 interim coordinators, the GM, and whatever front office jobs like player ops. I guess that's sort of what the raiders did but I dunno

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:45

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Belichick is not getting fired mid season.

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:46

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

quote:

The Panthers are miles from hopelessness, and the captain of the ship leads the league in panic. He�s Steinbrenner without the winning. Now the question is: Is there anyone in his life, or in the Panthers� organization, who can keep David Tepper from driving this franchise off a cliff?

is this about Nicole? Who does Peter think is driving the bus?

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:47

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

No other HC is getting fired until after the season

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:47

King Hong Kong: Nov 6, 2009; For we'll fight with a vim
that is dead sure to win.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when Tepper read that.

The Downfall dinner scene is probably pretty close.

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:47

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# ? May 23, 2024 05:59

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

That write-up certainly makes me feel better about my bad team, because at least they aren't the Panthers.

# ? Dec 4, 2023 19:48

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