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BRB consuming stupid levels of heavy metals to ensure that if nature kills and eats me nature fucken DIES
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Dec 16, 2023 13:35
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| # ? May 30, 2024 14:30 |
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There was that poll conducted a couple years ago asking a bunch of Americans if they could win a fight against a list of animals (individually). Something like 8% of men said they thought they could take a fucken lion in a fight. 12% said they could beat a wolf. The 538 politics podcast did a funny episode about it, which amounted to: 1) Are weapons allowed? The question isn't clear but we assume no (but did the respondents assume that?) 2) Cross-tabs were hilarious: women are approximately 4 times smarter than men, as their delusional self-confidence was about 1/4 that of men. (8% of men thought they could take a lion in a fight, while only 2% of women said the same.) 3) 61% of Americans have apparently never encountered a goose, because 61% of Americans said they could win a fight against one. 4) American men are uniquely
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Dec 16, 2023 13:44
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By popular demand posted:BRB consuming stupid levels of heavy metals to ensure that if nature kills and eats me nature fucken DIES If you get eaten by a tuna or something you could even pass on your legacy to future generations.
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Dec 16, 2023 14:02
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Come to think of it the 'get massively toxic' evolution strategy worked well for plenty of organisms.
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Dec 16, 2023 14:08
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Way ahead of you
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Dec 16, 2023 14:12
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Railing Kill posted:3) 61% of Americans have apparently never encountered a goose, because 61% of Americans said they could win a fight against one. Probably more accurate to say that most people don't want to fight a goose and let them win. Anyone really wanting to kill a goose could do it pretty easily once they get their hands on one. They weigh less than 10 pounds and have hollow bones, but no-one wants to be the guy that murdered a goose.
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Dec 16, 2023 14:16
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Gromit posted:Probably more accurate to say that most people don't want to fight a goose and let them win. Anyone really wanting to kill a goose could do it pretty easily once they get their hands on one. They weigh less than 10 pounds and have hollow bones, but no-one wants to be the guy that murdered a goose. One charged my buddy at the park when we were in high-school and he kicked it in the neck and broke its neck. I was trying to find a rock to put it out of its misery but my buddy had a vcr(?) In his trunk and used that. Dave was a wild man, he ate a couple batteries and a spoon once b/c his mom wasn't paying attention to him.
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Dec 16, 2023 14:21
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Goose talk (well, scream) a big game but you can just grab them by their long necks and chuck them away from you and they really have no defense for that because they're not that big. Swans on the other hand - you will get injured trying to do that to a swan.
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Dec 16, 2023 14:21
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Animals will allways have the advantage because they want to live.
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Dec 16, 2023 14:23
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Fumble posted:Animals will allways have the advantage because they want to live. I get what youre saying but if there one thing guaranteed to snap me out of my funk it's an unexpected attack, and then I'm overwhelmed by murderous rage.
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Dec 16, 2023 14:33
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CuwiKhons posted:Goons talk (well, scream) a big game but you can just grab them by their long necks and chuck them away from you and they really have no defense for that because they're not that big. Swans on the other hand - you will get injured trying to do that to a swan. 
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Dec 16, 2023 15:10
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These threads always reveal a disturbingly large amount of people hold a fervent hatred of certain species through no fault of the animal other than it just following its nature. Even invasive species, I wonder who was responsible for bringing them into the wrong environment? Oh yeah us. And if your cat is outside being threatened by coyotes then your cat is also naturally predating everything lower than it in the food chain, just like the coyote wants to do to your cat. If I lived in a place where coyote predation was a risk then I'm not having an outdoor cat.
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Dec 16, 2023 15:34
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It's ok to fervently hate ants or mosquitoes just for following their nature, I'd say.
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Dec 16, 2023 15:37
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Grak: a large animal ate my wife and child Grogk: it is in their nature!
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Dec 16, 2023 15:42
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Butterfly Valley posted:These threads always reveal a disturbingly large amount of people hold a fervent hatred of certain species through no fault of the animal other than it just following its nature. Even invasive species, I wonder who was responsible for bringing them into the wrong environment? Oh yeah us. And if your cat is outside being threatened by coyotes then your cat is also naturally predating everything lower than it in the food chain, just like the coyote wants to do to your cat. If I lived in a place where coyote predation was a risk then I'm not having an outdoor cat. If hating horses is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
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Dec 16, 2023 15:44
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I don't want to hate horses but the more I've learned about horses the more I hate them
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Dec 16, 2023 15:53
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The Moon Monster posted:It's ok to fervently hate ants or mosquitoes just for following their nature, I'd say. I don't hate them but I do repel or kill them without remorse
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Dec 16, 2023 15:57
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mind the walrus posted:I don't want to hate horses but the more I've learned about horses the more I hate them this except the french
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Dec 16, 2023 15:57
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Yolomon Wayne posted:the "average human" panics when charged by a chicken, and runs in terror from a swan - and then theres people confident they could easily kill a wolf unarmed. i would throw a punch at god almighty but i will not gently caress with a goose
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Dec 16, 2023 16:11
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I'm wandering in backwoods a lot for my new job and there is a lot of evidence of wild boars. I have no idea what I'd do if I actually came across any face to face, but I assume I'd just die. Rooting:  Boar subway: 
Leon Sumbitches fucked around with this message at 16:41 on Dec 16, 2023 |
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Dec 16, 2023 16:37
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mind the walrus posted:I don't want to hate horses but the more I've learned about horses the more I hate them This, but octopuses and eels. They’re an abomination against nature. Everything about them is wrong.
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Dec 16, 2023 16:40
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Leon Sumbitches posted:I'm wandering in backwoods a lot for my new job and there is a lot of evidence of wild boars. I have no idea what I'd do if I actually came across any face to face, but I assume I'd just die. a single human could take 2-4 boars unarmed, between 8 and 12 with a spear, and 30-50 with an assault rifle.
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Dec 16, 2023 16:42
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Fumble posted:Animals will allways have the advantage because they want to live. We regret to inform you that humans are animals too.
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Dec 16, 2023 16:45
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e: never mind too cursed to riff on
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Dec 16, 2023 16:45
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My Spirit Otter posted:a single human could take 2-4 boars unarmed, between 8 and 12 with a spear, and 30-50 with an assault rifle. Also helps if you got a thermal camera on a drone. I miss Bushman's stories of hunting hogs on his brother's rice farm in Louisiana.
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Dec 16, 2023 16:48
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My Spirit Otter posted:a single human could take 2-4 boars unarmed, between 8 and 12 with a spear, and 30-50 with an assault rifle. What does my relationship status have to do with any of this?
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Dec 16, 2023 16:49
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Captain Hygiene posted:What does my relationship status have to do with any of this? Less to live for
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Dec 16, 2023 17:26
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Killing a wolf unarmed seems easy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbjMstR7wbU
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Dec 16, 2023 17:30
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Android Apocalypse posted:Also helps if you got a thermal camera on a drone. Some of them were almost as believable as a Jake Adelstein Vice Story tho
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Dec 16, 2023 18:25
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Railing Kill posted:There was that poll conducted a couple years ago asking a bunch of Americans if they could win a fight against a list of animals (individually). Something like 8% of men said they thought they could take a fucken lion in a fight. I'm a big fan of the one where 8% of men thought they could score a point against Serena Williams in a tennis match. Just outright delusional absurdity
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Dec 16, 2023 18:25
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I mean at some point she's very likely to burst out laughing at my pathetic performance, thereby giving me the chance to score a single point!
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Dec 16, 2023 18:29
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I'm sure I could score a point on her if she's doubled over from laughing at my absolute incompetence. And then of course she'll serve a ball clean through my skull, etc
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Dec 16, 2023 18:29
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Android Apocalypse posted:Also helps if you got a thermal camera on a drone. I remember the video of squeals and bubbling from when he got his boar spear. It's so efficient to stab 'em and drown 'em in one motion, but drat what a way to go. If you're not an 200 lb invasive beast, that is.
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Dec 16, 2023 18:31
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CIA Dog Training seems relevant here.
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Dec 16, 2023 18:36
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Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:One charged my buddy at the park when we were in high-school and he kicked it in the neck and broke its neck. nice what federal penitentiary is he currently locked up in?
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Dec 16, 2023 18:38
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Waffle! posted:I remember the video of squeals and bubbling from when he got his boar spear. It's so efficient to stab 'em and drown 'em in one motion, but drat what a way to go. If you're not an 200 lb invasive beast, that is. Yeah it was definitely hosed up on some level but I gotta respect the fact that he at least picked the most dangerous option short of trying to hunt them unarmed or with a knife or something
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Dec 16, 2023 18:42
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Butterfly Valley posted:These threads always reveal a disturbingly large amount of people hold a fervent hatred of certain species through no fault of the animal other than it just following its nature. Even invasive species, I wonder who was responsible for bringing them into the wrong environment? Oh yeah us. And if your cat is outside being threatened by coyotes then your cat is also naturally predating everything lower than it in the food chain, just like the coyote wants to do to your cat. If I lived in a place where coyote predation was a risk then I'm not having an outdoor cat. Coyotes can't climb tho. Theres a big difference in that
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Dec 16, 2023 19:14
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Dec 16, 2023 19:20
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Well, *a* coyote can climb, but coyotes (plural) can't
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Dec 16, 2023 19:31
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| # ? May 30, 2024 14:30 |
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Coyotes are loving assholes that will jump over your 6 foot wall to attack your dog that's outside taking a pee in the safety and comfort of its own back yard. That's not even to mention that they deserve no clemency for what they've done to that roadrunner
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Dec 16, 2023 19:33
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