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Jose Valasquez posted:My wife and son have been sick all week but I've been fine, so I've been pulling double duty at home while work has been a nightmare because I've been oncall.  
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Dec 17, 2023 00:58
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Tom Smykowski posted:The trend of "3 year old brings home sickness then gets better before everyone else" is making for some painful weekends. This was me all week with stomach flu Wife was out on business all week M-F so she gets back Friday night "why the hell is the house a disaster?" apparently "I've been laying on the bathroom floor barfing my guts out the last three days" is not a valid excuse Kiddo had it Monday Tuesday but I picked it up from her Tuesday and I've been absolutely wrecked Wife feels fine of course. Her: "how come every time your biological daughter gets sick, you do too?" hmm maybe it's like we have similar immune systems, or something, I dunno
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Dec 17, 2023 01:03
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"They're resting! They're actually loving resting! Let's get as much poo poo fixed up as we can, asap!"
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Dec 17, 2023 01:03
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I was dumping some spoiled milk into the sink, within view of the 3 year old. I go downstairs for the laundry. It's quiet upstairs. Hmm. I come back to a 3 year old dumping the contents of a second milk jug into the sink, the kitchen countertop, and the floor... Whoops.
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Dec 17, 2023 01:03
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Dazerbeams posted:My 20 month old son was great about feeding himself until recently. Now everything is thrown onto the floor unless I put it directly into his mouth. He takes this as an opportunity to try and bite me. This was right around when things with my son that used to be very easy turned into a drat nightmare- baths, bedtime, and naps. They learn the true power of No and that they actually don't have to do what you tell them. And as far as 3 year olds infecting the whole family, BIG same here except mine never seems to shed his cough. He just coughs from one school funk to the next. I feel like he's been completely well for maybe 2 weeks during his first few months in school. But he also was hospitalized for a week with RSV so I think that cancels out.
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Dec 17, 2023 01:25
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Dazerbeams posted:My 20 month old son was great about feeding himself until recently. Now everything is thrown onto the floor unless I put it directly into his mouth. He takes this as an opportunity to try and bite me. My son feeds himself pretty well, but he's also learned how to say "uh oh!" when he "drops" something. And by "drop" I mean "purposefully holds his hand out at a 90 degree angle from his body and drops food, repeatedly, over and over again, forever."
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Dec 17, 2023 02:19
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Yep... we're in the middle of all that with ours now too. Bedtime has turned into hostage negotiations.
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Dec 17, 2023 03:00
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Oh that too. He loves his bedtime story and turning the pages. But he's also figured out that instead of closing the book at the end, he can just start turning the pages backwards.
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Dec 17, 2023 03:24
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Shalhavet posted:Yep... we're in the middle of all that with ours now too. Bedtime has turned into hostage negotiations. God gently caress me and bed time routine. You give the kid an inch and he takes a mile. Every day we have to negotiate some new step in the routine and all of a sudden it's turned into this convoluted summoning ritual for the sleep devil. Attempts at streamlining the process usually backfires and ends up adding more steps to the routine. We need to hide from Mommy as she comes up the stairs (the hiding place is always the same). We need to jump on Daddy's brown pillow with no shirt on. We need to go under the covers with our flashlight and play tornado shelter. And I'm the meanest dad in the world for saying 3 more jumps then we brush our teeth, then refusing to allow 5 more jumps after I already allowed 2 more jumps after the initial 3. Renegret fucked around with this message at 03:36 on Dec 17, 2023 |
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Dec 17, 2023 03:32
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Bedtime sucks and it has utterly crushed and demoralized me as a parent. And it may have ruined my marriage.
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Dec 17, 2023 03:37
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So far the best part of having a newborn is that I just say, oh well baby's not ready for bed and I got first shift, bye. Then I gently caress off and play with baby while my wife does routine. Of course my fuse is too short to deal with that bullshit anyway due to lack of sleep. I can do baby exhausted but I can't do 4 year old exhausted.
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Dec 17, 2023 03:41
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Renegret posted:God gently caress me and bed time routine. You give the kid an inch and he takes a mile. Every day we have to negotiate some new step in the routine and all of a sudden it's turned into this convoluted summoning ritual for the sleep devil. Attempts at streamlining the process usually backfires and ends up adding more steps to the routine. If nothing else this thread has taught me to be unwaivering in bedtime blah blah: 30 minute warning, point out that it's dark outside + it's time to go to bed 15 minute warning, same as above 0: ok it's bedtime, time to go to bed. Allow for up to 1 minute of whining then stand up and start waking towards the stairs Unwillingness to negotiate even an inch has reinforced that there's no wiggle room and generally they'll come to bed willingly and pretty quick. Fair warning gives them some time to mentally adjust/prepare Mom is a total softie though and has major problems getting her to bed
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Dec 17, 2023 03:52
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Lots of our woes with regards to transitioning between activities were solved by simply setting a timer on our phones. For some reason he has always interpreted that as fair. It doesn't get him to brush his goddamn teeth but at least it can get him to the bathroom.
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Dec 17, 2023 04:00
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Yeah the fastest way to put the whole night into an uncontrollable tailspin is to turn off the TV mid-show and go "ok! It's bedtime!" with no warning. Guaranteed 45 minute knock down drag out fight to just get off the couch
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Dec 17, 2023 04:15
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We busted out the poster board, the markers, and the glue and created an honest to god science fair poster about Bed Time. It contains immutable laws of bedtime in chronological order. Jammies, Snack, Brush Teeth, Two Books (no more no less), Sleep Time, Wake Up Time Combined with the benign overlord of the Red Light Green Light Hatch sleep system I have created a Bedtime Law and Order system, a panopticon of toddler sleep. He still busted into the room at 3:30AM last night to wake me up for no reason. We took the 3 year old to see Santa today and he was so insanely starstruck it was hilarious. Refused to smile for pictures and was super nervous. Begrudgingly whispered “monster trucks” to the kind old man.
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Dec 17, 2023 04:30
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space uncle posted:Combined with the benign overlord of the Red Light Green Light Hatch sleep system I have created a Bedtime Law and Order system, a panopticon of toddler sleep. I wish thread titles could be longer 
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Dec 17, 2023 05:53
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Hadlock posted:I wish thread titles could be longer I forgot that the real panopticon is the insane camera arrangement pointed at the 3 year old. Camera 1: Failed $20 webcam Camera 2: Baby monitor Camera 3: Google Home $$$Cam It looks like he’s in a SuperMax. I would remove the dead webcam but I did a bunch of goofy cable management to put them all up on a shelf and route the power cords so it’s all zip tied together and I don’t want to mess with it. Also the Google camera doesn’t allow you to Mute (you can only turn the volume down to 1) so god forbid you check the loving thing for the night vision while you’re in the room and create an endless feedback loop of white noise and wake the child up. Insane that a camera with a microphone would not have a mute feature.
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Dec 17, 2023 06:02
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Crescent Wrench posted:My son feeds himself pretty well, but he's also learned how to say "uh oh!" when he "drops" something. And by "drop" I mean "purposefully holds his hand out at a 90 degree angle from his body and drops food, repeatedly, over and over again, forever." That comes to a hard stop after a meal or two immediately ends when something is intentionally dropped. Those two meals suck because you're absolutely going to set off a meltdown when they test whether or not you are actually going to do the thing you said you will do, but the payoff is very much worth it.
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Dec 17, 2023 12:51
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As a parent of bigger kids, it’s really important to start enforcing the difference between ‘no means no, it’s time for bed immediately’ and ‘I prefer bed now but it’s negotiable’. My kids walk all over their dad because he bends all the time and, from their point of view, unpredictably. They can’t tell with him when he’s firm or when he’s flexible because it all sounds the same. It extends well past bedtime and into all other areas of their relationship too, unfortunately. It’s not perfect, but I’ve spent a lot of time talking to my kids about when it’s okay to negotiate (and encouraging it!) and when something is a requirement. Because sometimes it’s fine to say ‘just a little more playing’ before bed, and we can discuss how much that is. And sometimes I have to say ‘playtime is over, now it’s bed or you will be too tired in the morning’, and there is no negotiating. Also for the really tough times we outsource responsibility to the Echo to say it’s bedtime or breakfast time or whatever. Kids aren’t as inclined to argue with the robot!
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Dec 17, 2023 13:10
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I think it's important to also recognize that, at least in my experience, no matter how good the system you have set up is, they'll still occasionally throw a huge tantrum and you just need to weather it. Our three year old is all about boundary pushing these days, even against things he's been fully indoctrinated to do (like brushing teeth before bedtime or staying in bed at bedtime). He's been waking up an hour earlier than he used to and then he shits in his overnight diaper, then calls out because he wants to be changed. Obviously I can't just let him stew in his poop, but it really fucks with the "let mom and dad sleep until 7 before calling for us" rule. So now we're having to negotiate him back into his room after changing him, often at the same time we're dealing with the baby waking up. Just a whole cacophony of trouble at 530-6 am. I feel bad saying it but I cannot wait until the baby is old enough for daycare so I can take a week off work to take long naps and just recharge.
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Dec 17, 2023 14:30
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Olanphonia posted:I feel bad saying it but I cannot wait until the baby is old enough for daycare so I can take a week off work to take long naps and just recharge. I'm right there with you. Baby goes to daycare on Jan 3rd at 4mo old, I'm taking 2 weeks after that to recharge ( and deal with the new daycare sicknesses) before going back to work. We'd wanted to push daycare start to 5mo old, but holy poo poo I can't continue dealing with the 2.7y and the 3mo old on the negative sleep and rest balance.
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Dec 17, 2023 14:39
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cailleask posted:Also for the really tough times we outsource responsibility to the Echo to say it’s bedtime or breakfast time or whatever. Kids aren’t as inclined to argue with the robot! I didn’t know Russ Hanneman posted on SA!
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Dec 17, 2023 15:27
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I'm the opposite. I quit my job in 2020 to stay at home dad for our first kid and I'm still going strong with 3.5 and 10mo old boys. The older kid really needs school so I'm glad he's in it but I miss my boy a lot of days. He only goes half days but he doesn't nap (stopped around 2.5) so he's often just sloppy after I pick him up. I couldn't imagine sending our 10mo old to daycare and much less when he was still a potato. There are days when one of his grandparents will take him and the house is so quiet that it's weird. All that said, if we didn't have the support system of two sets of eager grandparents nearby, I'd be pulling what's left of my drat hair out. When our youngest is 4 and they are both in school full time, wtf am I gonna do with myself? Go back to work? Finally work my way down the ever-growing Honeydo list? Laundry???
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Dec 17, 2023 15:34
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Rufio posted:
Ding ding! It's just the wife and I. Closest grandparent is my mom, 3 hours away and not retired yet. I'm certain if we had a set of grandparents around to help all the time it wouldn't be as hard, but as it is we are drowning. I don't _want_ to send the nugget to daycare, but we've got no choice (also daycare only has an opening now, which does force the issue)
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Dec 17, 2023 15:54
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space uncle posted:I forgot that the real panopticon is the insane camera arrangement pointed at the 3 year old. We had a cheap video camera someone gave us from some company we'd never heard of before. This thing was EXPRESSLY a baby monitor. ...so of course, it has evil-looking glowing red lights during night vision mode, and if it loses power for a second will reset by SPINNING AROUND THE CAMERA AND LOUDLY BEEPING?!? So one night, the power goes out, and my wife and I are going through the house making sure everything's alright when we hear a blood-curdling scream from the kid's bedroom... We had to get rid of the thing entirely. My daughter wouldn't sleep anywhere near that possessed motherfucker after that.
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Dec 17, 2023 15:55
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 These are loving gross. Do not buy.
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Dec 17, 2023 16:23
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Olanphonia posted:He's been waking up an hour earlier than he used to and then he shits in his overnight diaper, then calls out because he wants to be changed. Obviously I can't just let him stew in his poop, but it really fucks with the "let mom and dad sleep until 7 before calling for us" rule. Sounds like he’s in control of his bowel movements and he is within the age bracket. Time for potty training? (Wouldn’t solve your morning problem but could get him to poop on the potty and just call for help wiping, which I’d prefer at 6 AM)
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Dec 17, 2023 17:14
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It’s funny to watch our helping in laws run around like headless chickens searching for a pacifier anytime baby makes any noise. Meanwhile my wife and I dont give a single gently caress anymore when the 1 week old is crying his head off during a diaper change or waiting for a bottle. What a difference from baby #1. No wonder people say the second is easier.
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Dec 17, 2023 18:41
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nachos posted:It’s funny to watch our helping in laws run around like headless chickens searching for a pacifier anytime baby makes any noise. Meanwhile my wife and I dont give a single gently caress anymore when the 1 week old is crying his head off during a diaper change or waiting for a bottle. What a difference from baby #1. No wonder people say the second is easier. It's funny how everyone's experiences reflect so similarly. I owe my in laws so much for all of the help they've given us but that doesn't change the fact that they're completely clueless unless my wife or I are around to be primary shot callers. Their response to everything is shove a bottle in the baby's face, which leads to an over fed and uncomfortable baby unless we stop it in time. Even if he's not hungry he'll usually still take a half ounce before choking on the bottle so it's pretty easy to accidentally force feed him. Two weeks ago wife had a doctor's appointment, and I was sleeping so we left them alone with baby. She was gone for 4 hours and left them 3 bottles in the fridge. They somehow used (and wasted) all 3 bottles in that short timeframe.
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Dec 17, 2023 18:54
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Yeah our baby has been more gassy and annoyed this week because, shocker, the solution to everything is more food. We can’t really trust our family beyond keeping an eye while baby is napping so the help (which is still appreciated) is mostly limited to cooking/cleaning.
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Dec 17, 2023 19:00
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Crescent Wrench posted:My son feeds himself pretty well, but he's also learned how to say "uh oh!" when he "drops" something. And by "drop" I mean "purposefully holds his hand out at a 90 degree angle from his body and drops food, repeatedly, over and over again, forever." Sometimes "uh oh" acts as a warning for something they're actively planning to 'accidentally' drop, which comes in handy.
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Dec 17, 2023 19:19
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The first few months after birth, honestly, every visit from our parents has been more trouble than help. Just the logistics around their visits are more work than what they save us on babysitting.
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Dec 17, 2023 19:39
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:The first few months after birth, honestly, every visit from our parents has been more trouble than help. Just the logistics around their visits are more work than what they save us on babysitting. The first few weeks we primarily put them to work by doing laundry, dishes, cleaning, washing bottles, handling our older kid, basically all the non baby related things that need to get done. It was really nice. Unfortunately it was a rude awakening when they decided they were done being here 12 hours a day and I had to start doing all that myself again. This house is a loving disaster.
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Dec 17, 2023 19:46
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My experience with fam assistance with babies is that if the person themselves no longer has a baby, the go to is "baby upset? Baby need to eat" Grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, just all demanding baby is constantly feed
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Dec 17, 2023 20:21
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:The first few months after birth, honestly, every visit from our parents has been more trouble than help. Just the logistics around their visits are more work than what they save us on babysitting. My MiL (who lives abroad) is threatening with a multi-month visit next year and unless she’s really upped her game, that’s going to be a net-negative experience. Lady literally can’t even peel a carrot.
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Dec 17, 2023 20:35
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We’re multiple days in to a hospital stay for a UTI that wouldn’t quit last week. Saline drip + better antibiotics seem to have kicked the worst of it. The remaining challenge is how long it takes hospitals to process everything, especially when you have a 3yo who is feeling better and you don’t want them to rip their IV out on accident. 3rd parent iPad is pulling heavy duty right now.
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Dec 17, 2023 21:51
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It’s the most wonderful time of the year. No it’s not, with presents to buy, school shows to go to, sick bugs to catch and in-laws to see. Christmas can do one.
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Dec 17, 2023 22:17
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Oodles posted:It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Yeah I am not looking forward to any of this stuff - gotta drive 7+ hrs next weekend to stay several days at the in-law's house and I just don't want to do any of that. I've put it off as long as humanly possible but I basically don't have a choice anymore.
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Dec 17, 2023 22:29
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hallo spacedog posted:Yeah I am not looking forward to any of this stuff - gotta drive 7+ hrs next weekend to stay several days at the in-law's house and I just don't want to do any of that. I've put it off as long as humanly possible but I basically don't have a choice anymore. I’ll have my wife’s brother and sister and all their children staying nearby. And they’ll all want to do activities during the day, as they’re older and have less children than me. I don’t want to take my family of six out for sushi, or go to the cinema. Can we go do cheap stuff? Like walking, it’s free.
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Dec 17, 2023 22:33
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Our plan for grandparents slowly learning to watch the baby went out the window with the hospital stuff. They drove in expecting a kid’s birthday party only to get a baby thrown in their arms with a rough schedule of bottles and naps to go off of. Sounds like everyone made it through though. The nurses got my girl an Elsa doll since it’s her birthday weekend. Very sweet gesture, but now we have to figure out what to do with the exact same doll sitting in our Christmas hiding closet at home. Really thought we were avoiding the holiday shopping crowds this year.
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Dec 17, 2023 22:44
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