poo poo Fuckasaurus posted:

Seems to be exactly what it says???

bobjr posted:

https://x.com/Dexerto/status/1736912546450268419?s=20

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Tiggum posted:

What is "Sims 4" porn? The Sim is ordinary people in realistic scenarios. That's just normal porn, right?

ultrafilter posted:

Cuphead?

ultrafilter posted:

Cuphead?

Phlegmish posted:

I'm just surprised there's not a single Baldur's Gate 3 character on there

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Yeah BG3 has the hardcore porn included as part of the package

ImpAtom posted:

My guess is probably they are looking for some of the boss characters rather than Child With A Cup Head but the internet would probably prove me wrong.

Leon Sumbitches posted:

I love how confident the explanation was and still just complete and utter horse poo poo

Tiggum posted:

What is "Sims 4" porn? The Sim is ordinary people in realistic scenarios. That's just normal porn, right?

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

maybeadracula posted:

Imagine seven balls inside your sausage casing

Ghost Leviathan posted:

There's a giant mermaid and a dog lady, is it that hard to guess

Also are they even kids, they start the game literally in a casino

Knormal posted:

Splatoon, on the other hand, is harder to justify.

Captain Hygiene posted:

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Dreaming of a Brown Christmas?

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Dreaming of a Brown Christmas?

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

https://twitter.com/guardian/status/1738541353561104514

Whooping Crabs posted:

*clears throat*

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH AIRLINE FOOD?

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

quote:

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?


Happy Holidays to one and all. It's time to gather 'round the fire with your loved ones for our nation's oldest and finest tradition: reading about people that jammed things in their holes and couldn't get them out without medical intervention.

All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and almost all patients made some regrettable decisions.

As always, objects are sorted by orifice, working south:

Ear

TOY CAR
TOY WAND
STYLUS
GASOLINE
"FELL DOWN STAIRS, HAS MILD CONCUSSION, ANKLE SPRAIN, EAR BUD STUCK IN EAR"
BUG, BOBBY PIN
HEARING AID BATTERY
"HAS BEEN PUTTING PAPER PRODUCTS IN HER EARS TO KEEP THE COLD OUT"
SUNFLOWER SEEDS
PRESS-ON FINGERNAIL
LOLLIPOP
"WAS WELDING OVERHEAD AND A PIECE OF METAL FELL ONTO HIS LEFT EAR MELTING HIS EAR PLUG"
PIECE OF MINIATURE CAMERA
ROCK
SAWDUST, PAPER TOWEL
STENCIL
"PATIENT STATES ROLLED OVER IN BED ONTO AN ECSTASY PILL AND IT GOT STUCK IN EAR"


Nose

"WAS SMELLING BATTERY WHEN IT WENT UP NOSTRIL"
ARTS AND CRAFTS OBJECT
SEWING NEEDLE
GLUE STICK
"PUT AN ALUMINUM FOIL WRAP UP HER RIGHT NOSTRIL AND IMMEDIATELY STARTED CRYING"
YOGURT
FLOWER
FOXTAIL
FAKE PLANT
MULTIVITAMIN
"PUT PIECES OF STYROFOAM CUP IN NOSTRIL. HE WAS SEEN YESTERDAY FOR SAME THING"
RHINESTONE
BULLET
PUPPY TOOTH
DETERGENT POD
"WAS DOING A JOKE AND PUT AN EARPHONE COVER IN HIS RIGHT NOSTRIL 2 DAYS AGO"
MULCH
CHICKEN NUGGET


Throat

"FELT LIKE HE HAD SOMETHING IN THE BACK OF HIS THROAT SO HE USED A PAIR OF TWEEZERS TO GRAB IT AND SWALLOWED THE TWEEZERS"
COAT HANGER
DREIDEL
"WAS PULLING A NEW SHIRT (BOUGHT FROM THE THRIFT STORE) OVER HIS HEAD LAST NIGHT AT HOME, WAS TIGHT AROUND THE MOUTH, NOSE WAS STUFFED, SO HE DEEPLY INHALED AND BREATHED IN SEVERAL PIECES OF THREAD OR CLOTH (HE IS NOT SURE WHICH)"
COUGH MEDICINE CUP
GRANOLA BAR WRAPPER
CAULKING, SILICONE PAINT, AND STRING
"SWALLOWED A MAGNET AT SCHOOL THEN WAS STUNG BY A WASP ON HIS FOOT"
WOODEN COFFEE STIRRER
EYELASH COMB
SMALL SQUISHY PIG TOY
"HAD 1 SHOT AND 9 BEERS AND THINKS HE SWALLOWED BOTTLE CAP"
GUITAR PICK
KEYBOARD KEY
PLASTIC TABLE FROM PIZZA BOX
"WAS SITTING UNDER A TREE DRINKING FROM A CUP AND SOMETHING FROM THE TREE FELL IN HIS CUP AND HE SWALLOWED IT"
TOOTHPASTE FOLLOWED BY A TOOTHBRUSH AND POSSIBLY A TOOTHPASTE CONTAINER
FISHING WEIGHT
TEABAG
"MOM TOLD THE KIDS TO CLEAN UP THEIR MONOPOLY GAME PATIENT CAME TO MOM CRYING SAYS SHE SWALLOWED THE SHOE"
SHELF BRACKET
DRILL BIT
"PATIENT STATES THAT HE SWALLOWED A METAL KEYCHAIN, A RING WHICH HAD A 'VERY HIGH VIBRATION' AND HE BELIEVES THIS WAS CAUSING ABDOMINAL PAIN"
KETCHUP PACKET
HONEY MUSTARD PACKET
3D SEAHORSE STICKER
"HAVING SEVERAL DRINKS THIS MORNING, SWALLOWED A SMALL PIECE OF HIS COMPUTER"
DRY ICE
ZIPPER
BUCKEYE NUT
"WAS CONDUCTING AN EXPERIMENT AND PUT A SAFETY PIN IN A BOTTLE AND BLEW IN THE BOTTLE THE SAFETY PIN WENT INTO HIS OROPHARYNX"
NAME TAG
MIRROR
FIDGET SPINNER
BELL CLAPPER
"WAS CHEWING ON A BATTERY WHEN HE POSSIBLY SWALLOWED PART OF IT, ALSO WITH A POPCORN KERNEL IN RIGHT EAR"
TWO ENGAGEMENT RINGS


Penis

PHONE CHARGER
ROLLED BAND-AID
CRAYON
PLASTIC SPOON
PLASTIC SPORK
CANDLE WAX
STRAW
FOLDED DOLLAR BILLS
YELLOW CHAIN
10 INCH LONG SEX TOY
SCREWDRIVER
KNIFE HANDLE
CABLE
"PATIENT STATED HE WAS DRUNK 2 DAYS AGO AND HIS GIRLFRIEND INSERTED A NECKLACE INSIDE HIS URETHRA WHILE HAVING SEX"
TIP OF CONDIMENT BOTTLE


Vagina

NAIL POLISH
GLITTER
LIGHT BULB
BORIC ACID SUPPOSITORIES ACCIDENTALLY PLACED IN URETHRA
"SHE SWALLOWED A QUARTER AND ALSO SHE BELIEVES SHE HAS A RETAINED CONDOM IN HER VAGINA FROM INTERCOURSE YESTERDAY"
PENCIL
PENCIL SHARPENER
PENCIL GRIP
MULTIPLE PENS
BRACELET
TICK
"HAS AA BATTERY IN VAGINA, FELT IT COME OUT WHILE USING A STIMULATOR ABOUT 2 WEEKS AGO"
HAIR BRUSH
VIBRATOR STUCK FOR 6 DAYS
ICE CREAM PARLOR PLAYSET
3 GRAMS OF COCAINE
"DID THE SPLITS NEAR A SCREWDRIVER"
GLOVE AND SPONGES
CROCHET HOOK
RAT TOY
DOG CHAIN
"PATIENT ADMITS TO EXTREME INTOXICATION YESTERDAY EVENING AT THE BAR, SHE WAS HITTING HER HEAD AGAINST A GLASS WINDOW AND ENDED UP CRACKING IT, SHE THEN PUNCHED A COP CAR HAS HAND PAIN, SHE REPORTS INSERTED THE BACK OF A DART INTO HER VAGINA"


Rectum

ICE CREAM SCOOP
EYEBROW TOOL
SHOT GLASS
MOUTHWASH BOTTLE CAP
MOUSSE BOTTLE CAP
COLOGNE BOTTLE
SHAMPOO BOTTLE AND TOOTHBRUSH
"HIS GIRLFRIEND MADE LARGE SYMMETRICAL OBJECT OUT OF TINFOIL WRAPPED IN PAPER TOWELS AND PLACED IN CONDOM AND PUT IT IN HIS RECTUM AND THEN COULD NOT RETRIEVE IT"
CIGARETTE LIGHTER
CANDLE
MARBLE
7 INCH LONG GLASS BOTTLE
"BELIEVES HE PLACED A PEN IN HIS RECTUM THE DAY PRIOR, HE STATES THAT THERE WAS ALCOHOL INVOLVED"
3 CELLPHONES
2 DILDOS
"PATIENT STATES ACCIDENTALLY SAT ON CONE SHAPED TOY IN THE SHOWER"
LINT BRUSH
POOL NOODLE
ROLLING PIN
"PUT A SCREW IN HIS RECTUM BECAUSE HE WAS CURIOUS"
SCREWDRIVER
TOY DINOSAUR
SPOON
POCKETKNIFE
"STATES THAT EARLIER THIS AFTERNOON HE WAS 'TRYING TO BE FUNNY' AND SHOVED A PLASTIC BOTTLE UP HIS RECTUM"
TOILET PLUNGER
CANDLE HOLDER
UNKNOWN AMOUNT OF MAGNETIC BALLS
"INSERTED SOME ANAL BEADS INTO RECTUM THURSDAY, FELL ASLEEP AND NOTICED TODAY THAT THEY WERE NOT WHERE SHE HAD LEFT THEM"
SHAVING CREAM BOTTLE
PVC PIPE
JIGSAW PIECES
ZUCCHINI
"PRESENTS WITH A BUTT PLUG STUCK IN HER RECTUM. REPORTS SHE WAS USING IT AND GOT UP QUICKLY TO ANSWER THE DOOR"
GOLF BALL
ORANGE
"STATES HE STUCK A PEN IN BUTT TO SCRATCH AN ITCH AND IT WENT UP HIS BUTT"
CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT
CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTS
PLASTIC LIGHTSABER
CORN-ON-THE-COB HOLDER
FRUIT ROLL-UP

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

I'm tellin' ya doc, a one in a million shot!

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

TOOTHPASTE FOLLOWED BY A TOOTHBRUSH AND POSSIBLY A TOOTHPASTE CONTAINER

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

I'm tellin' ya doc, a one in a million shot!