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Duckman2008 posted:So I get restaurants have costs, but is it jus time or do most of these recipes have a lot of “it will last forever in the fridge” at the end of them? Like, sounds super fresh to use 20 day old sauce. It's fresh frozen 
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Jan 15, 2024 00:39
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dr_rat posted:I'm assuming they have honey in it as, you know fastfood for kids -I assume that was who the intended demographic was? I mean that's assuming nate actually thought about that sort of thing) so they wanted the sauce to be sweet. Had sweet marinara sauce in South East Asia, and it can sort of work. Like I certainly wouldn't recommend it or anything, but it's fine in a fast food sort of way. There’s a place in the DC burbs called “& Pizza” that has a hot pepper honey glaze topping for some of their pizzas and it’s pretty good. Wife still isn’t convinced that it belongs in lasagna
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Jan 15, 2024 00:56
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Yeah, bulk Montreal steak seasoning would be something available from a restaurant supplier. McCormick sells it everywhere. Hardly a low-sodium option!
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Jan 15, 2024 00:58
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Frank Frank posted:Ok the wife has agreed for make Garfield lasagna but I’m not really clear what the recipe is. Is the tapenade part of the lasagna or just an appetizer? Are there step-by-step instructions for JUST the lasagna and if not, since he already has your info -could you please ask him for directions? We could guess but I’d rather have the authentic GarfieldEATs experience I really cannot stress enough that everything in my post is everything that's in the document. But just to re-assure you, here is the big cow lasagna, and all of the "child" recipes it depends upon:     
CodfishCartographer fucked around with this message at 01:01 on Jan 15, 2024 |
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Jan 15, 2024 00:59
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Charles Ford posted:For those of us who never got the taste for coffee and so can't recognise the issue, could an aficionado explain the horrors? To start, there’s barely coffee in that coffee. It’s diluted as hell and his alleged final measurements don’t appear to add up. Arabica is just the Coffea arabica variant of coffee that tends to taste the best; Coffea robusta is the bitter, more highly caffeinated variant that tends to taste worse in a rubbery way unless it’s incorporated as a component of espresso blends. But whatever he used, it was mostly drowned in milk - even a plain americano there would be as weak as my 97 year old grandma’s drip coffee. I didn’t see anything about orange juice in the coffee as I was skimming, but if I missed it, that’s practically awaiting referral for criminal indictment. edit: ⬇️⬇️⬇️ gently caress me Hasturtium fucked around with this message at 01:19 on Jan 15, 2024 |
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Jan 15, 2024 01:05
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Hasturtium posted:I didn’t see anything about orange juice in the coffee as I was skimming, but if I missed it, that’s practically awaiting referral for criminal indictment. Orange Bee Garficcno (sic): Dbl Espresso 60 ml fresh Orange J 20 ml Honey 8 mg Fresh Milk 300 ml
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Jan 15, 2024 01:12
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Just realized there's no recipe for thin crust dough, only for regular dough. Also the topping list for the Garnivore pizza changes between regular and thin crust. It's also funny that it says to use the same (nonexistent) cooking instructions for thin crust as regular pizza, I have to imagine that thin crust requires different cooking temperature and/or time, since there's less dough??
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Jan 15, 2024 01:26
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CodfishCartographer posted:I have to imagine that thin crust requires different cooking temperature and/or time, since there's less dough?? Yeah thin crust is typical higher temperatures/lower time. The sauces and toppings you use on them should take this into account unless you want things raw/burnt.
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Jan 15, 2024 01:30
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The utterly half-assed nature of this is amazing. Surely he had to have had complete versions at some point, since they were actually being made, right? How did it turn into this
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Jan 15, 2024 01:35
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Hasturtium posted:To start, there’s barely coffee in that coffee. Thanks! I mostly wasn't sure how strong the coffee component was, maybe it was ultra concentrate or something. Also lol that half of the stuff has honey in it. Honestly, the fact that he can barely work Excel or Word somehow offends me. Like, this was his business, but the drink columns have name headers in the wrong columns, misspellings everywhere, just bizarre formatting in both documents. Also the fact that one is Excel and one is Word. These documents containing the secrets to his pride and joy business, and they look like that.
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Jan 15, 2024 01:39
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If they're Office documents, it may be worth checking if they also have any of the edit history accidentally included in them for any hidden nuggets of gold that Nathen may have decided to delete.
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Jan 15, 2024 01:49
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EasilyConfused posted:The utterly half-assed nature of this is amazing. Surely he had to have had complete versions at some point, since they were actually being made, right? How did it turn into this Possibly they were lost. Possibly he did hire on some sort of chief for an afternoon to write down some quick notes. That's how much they got down in the time they were hired for, and that's what he gave those to the fast food place and they just figured out the rest from there? I can imagine in a bin somewhere there is basically this exact recipe book with a shitload of corrections and additions written over in pen. boof posted:If they're Office documents, it may be worth checking if they also have any of the edit history accidentally included in them for any hidden nuggets of gold that Nathen may have decided to delete. Oh check the metadate! Seem to recall the FBI caught a serial killer once through the meta data in a word document they sent.
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Jan 15, 2024 01:57
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CodfishCartographer posted:I really cannot stress enough that everything in my post is everything that's in the document. But just to re-assure you, here is the big cow lasagna, and all of the "child" recipes it depends upon: Of course it has to be annoying. Of course it does. I am sending these jpgs to the wife and bribing her with a nice bottle of wine I am reading this to her in real time and said, “yeah, green olive tapenade is an ingredient” and she goes, “ok fine, just send me the recipe and I’ll make it but you and the kids have to eat it”. She isn’t a “wear the Italian flag on your sleeve” person but her cooking is rustic Italian and I can tell you for a fact that she is only doing this because I asked her to and I will reap the whirlwind in the future for this transgression E: her maiden name was Lupinacci EE: I said “wtf why are there carrots in the bolognese” and she very dryly fires back, “well he got that right. It’s a vegetable meat sauce and carrots are normal” Frank Frank fucked around with this message at 02:28 on Jan 15, 2024 |
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Jan 15, 2024 02:21
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Hasturtium posted:Arabica is just the Coffea arabica variant of coffee that tends to taste the best; Coffea robusta is the bitter, more highly caffeinated variant that tends to taste worse in a rubbery way unless it’s incorporated as a component of espresso blends. But whatever he used, He used Coffea arabiolosia
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Jan 15, 2024 02:32
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I guess it's not surprising but these at first glance these recipes all seem pretty basic and would probably be *fine* if made fresh, which definitely wasn't happening at the restaurant. Tho looking again, I've never had a bolognese without tomatoes, no other type of liquid, how are you supposed to get a sauce from that? And...that Secret Sauce sure sounds like it'll just taste like a lot of tapenade more than anything and lol that the directions mention truffle oil which is absent from the measurements. E: Also, is that really 50 recipes? Seems thin, probably because most of it is just different types of sauces that are used to make the actual meals.
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Jan 15, 2024 03:06
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MrQwerty posted:He used Coffea arabiolosia also a lot of commercial red sauces will use shredded/pureed carrots to add sweetness!
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Jan 15, 2024 03:06
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Mordja posted:I guess it's not surprising but these at first glance these recipes all seem pretty basic and would probably be *fine* if made fresh, which definitely wasn't happening at the restaurant. Tho looking again, I've never had a bolognese without tomatoes, no other type of liquid, how are you supposed to get a sauce from that? And...that Secret Sauce sure sounds like it'll just taste like a lot of tapenade more than anything and lol that the directions mention truffle oil which is absent from the measurements. Wouldn't surprise me if the pizza section counted each individual topping list as a "recipe"
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Jan 15, 2024 03:10
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Lol that second to last line Ooooooh~ living in the fridge
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Jan 15, 2024 03:35
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Frank Frank posted:Of course it has to be annoying. Of course it does. I am sending these jpgs to the wife and bribing her with a nice bottle of wine Somebody call Child Protective Services.
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Jan 15, 2024 03:55
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Just to throw it out there amongst the onslaught of lols, recipes are explicitly exempt from any copyright protection fwiw
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Jan 15, 2024 03:58
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I cannot get over my amusement at learning the claims that the coffee tasted like nothing are backed up by the fact that there was not really any coffee in the drinks And I seem to recall Nathen at one point said he could not get through the day without an orange Garficcino or that he missed them specifically or something, love that he cannot figure out how to add a little orange juice to a normal espresso with milk
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Jan 15, 2024 07:14
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lmao that the most mind-bendingly, life-changingly delicious beverage Nathen has ever experienced is a watered down espresso with oj in it really puts things into perspective
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Jan 15, 2024 07:24
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CodfishCartographer posted:... Nathen's secret recipes... Normaly touching the poop and giving these people money is a bad thing, but look at all this wonderful stuff we got. Now I see why the drinks are in excel, because the "recipes" are so basic, you could guess them buy their name. Figures nathen uses off-brand "choco cheaps" instead of chips. Also: it seems like a scam, but most americano's are just espresso and mostly water. That's how they are... 1:3 or 1:4 sometimes. Not that I drink them. The secret of the secret sauce is tapenade, which can be overdone, and probably is in this case - but they're not adding anchovies, maybe to make it last longer. but why the HELL is this concoction being added to the fairly basic BBQ sauce recipe. UGH. That's probably gotta taste awful. Terrible chicken "marinade" if you can even call it that. Just put a lemon in proximity to a chicken. Great. I'm shocked the lasagna isn't just pre-made, but not shocked they just make a huge batch of it and keep it in the fridge for a month. The GarfieldEATS kitchen probably had several microwaves doing overtime duty. Garftail most complex item, and yet the least informative recipe. I feel sorry for the staff if they were really working from such incomplete and vague instructions. Kind of makes me want to get a hold of some kitchen staff from some behind the scenes info - but I don't think anyone is going to put "line chef @ GarfieldEATS" on their linkedin Frank Frank posted:EE: I said “wtf why are there carrots in the bolognese” and she very dryly fires back, “well he got that right. It’s a vegetable meat sauce and carrots are normal” No joke: probably to make it orange.
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Jan 15, 2024 07:27
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Love to heat up a bunch of sauce, transfer it directly into a 22qt to "cool" and then serve it to people for three to four weeks. I wonder why it wasn't a success.
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Jan 15, 2024 07:43
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I'm sure a reasonable restaurant could do prep for a week, but part of that would be having instructions about how many portions to split up per service or day. We need some experts in this thread. Is there a pro-chef thread in goons with spoons we can call in?
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Jan 15, 2024 07:45
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Glimpse posted:Truffle oil? San Marzano tomato purée? Didn’t know GarfieldEats was so gastro. Truffle oil is almost uniformly artificial, it sounds fancier than it is. Nathen assuredly does not know this.
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Jan 15, 2024 07:59
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Reminder that it allegedly took a year to write this
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Jan 15, 2024 08:30
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Frank Frank posted:Of course it has to be annoying. Of course it does. I am sending these jpgs to the wife and bribing her with a nice bottle of wine How familiar was your wife with Nathen Mazri and the GarfieldEATS saga before you convinced her to do this? I’m just imagining you saying “Hey, some rando online bought the recipes of a failed Garfield restaurant from a serial fabulist, can you make this dubious lasagna for me?” and I can’t imagine it having worked out. Maybe you just have The Best Wife?
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Jan 15, 2024 09:01
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"Chief Taster" Working in the brewing industry, I've worked for a few of those.
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Jan 15, 2024 09:07
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Pissed Ape Sexist posted:Just to throw it out there amongst the onslaught of lols, recipes are explicitly exempt from any copyright protection fwiw This will not save you from Fork Jail!
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Jan 15, 2024 09:20
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I really like the salad dressing. Most of the recipes are generously restaurant sized but this one is definitely not. Here's some highlights from its ingredients... 2 grams garlic. About 1/3rd of a clove. Ok. 5 grams of shallots? That's like 1/10th of a shallot. 1 gram plum tomato? What?? How? 1 gram bell pepper finely chopped what the hell? A gram is like one or even half a piece after chopping a bell pepper finely. You need a weed scale to pull off this BS.
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Jan 15, 2024 10:39
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j.peeba posted:You need a weed scale to pull off this BS. good thing I still have a mg gemstone scale from the golden days of research chemicals 
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Jan 15, 2024 10:40
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More recipes should feature "take the equipment and clean it" as the first step 
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Jan 15, 2024 10:51
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We are talking about baking trays that were presumably left in the fridge for three weeks with Nathen's aged lasagna, as per the storage instructions. They'd better be reminded to scrub them right. E: when he said the lasagna lived in the fridge, he really meant it lived in the fridge
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Jan 15, 2024 11:00
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I think the health inspector would have something to say about all of these.
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Jan 15, 2024 11:11
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CodfishCartographer posted:No, there is no recipe for what "Montreal Steak Spice" is - whether there's a specific brand used, or what ratio of different spices to use when making it. ok this is actually not his fault, "montreal steak spice" and "montreal smoke meat" are just things that canadians have and know about and then we assume other people know what we're talking about. anyway it's gonna be some variation of this, definitely from a pre-mixed shaker from any nearby grocery store
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Jan 15, 2024 12:26
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the yeti posted:Truffle oil is almost uniformly artificial, it sounds fancier than it is. Nathen assuredly does not know this. My ex used to watch almost exclusively cooking shows and MasterChef was one of them. Some contestants would use truffle oil and the look of disgust on Joe Bastianich's face when tasting a dish containing it was frankly rather delightful sometimes
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Jan 15, 2024 13:33
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Seth Pecksniff posted:My ex used to watch almost exclusively cooking shows and MasterChef was one of them. Some contestants would use truffle oil and the look of disgust on Joe Bastianich's face when tasting a dish containing it was frankly rather delightful sometimes I acquired a black truffle one time and to be frank (frank) and not to sound like three olives, but the difference between a truffle and whatever the gently caress they call truffle oil is stark
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Jan 15, 2024 14:38
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MrQwerty posted:I acquired a black truffle one time and to be frank (frank) and not to sound like three olives, but the difference between a truffle and whatever the gently caress they call truffle oil is stark Oh yeah it's night and day man Whatever truffle oil is it ain't truffle
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Jan 15, 2024 14:45
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j.peeba posted:I really like the salad dressing. Most of the recipes are generously restaurant sized but this one is definitely not. Here's some highlights from its ingredients... ‘I forgot to put units on this recipe I stole! Uhhhhh metric!’
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Jan 15, 2024 14:49
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