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Relentlessboredomm
Oct 15, 2006

It's Sic Semper Tyrannis. You said, "Ever faithful terrible lizard."

A Sneaker Broker posted:

The best job available is the Commanders. New Owner, New GM. You got Pick #2 and a lot of money to work with in free agency. Players know you are established since you helped turn Jared Goff into an all-pro caliber QB in just two years. Also, if you look around the division, it's absolute poverty.

E: Also, you have zero expectations. If you win there, you become a legend.


I'd still say the Chargers are better bc they come with a franchise QB and depressingly low expectations but Washington is a shockingly good opening right now.

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C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat

A Sneaker Broker posted:

The best job available is the Commanders. New Owner, New GM. You got Pick #2 and a lot of money to work with in free agency. Players know you are established since you helped turn Jared Goff into an all-pro caliber QB in just two years. Also, if you look around the division, it's absolute poverty.

E: Also, you have zero expectations. If you win there, you become a legend.

If Aaron Glenn is still drawing interest for HC spots this is where I want him to go. Washington needs a vibes overhaul and Glenn's players love him even if the Lions' defense has been bad to mediocre in his time here.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

I'm still unclear if the Eric Bieniemy is still the OC or not

A Sneaker Broker
Feb 14, 2020

Daily Dose of Internet Brain Rot

Relentlessboredomm posted:

I'd still say the Chargers are better bc they come with a franchise QB and depressingly low expectations but Washington is a shockingly good opening right now.

I put the Chargers at #2 on my list, slightly below the Commanders. I would give them #1, but they still have Spanos. And he is the cheapest owner I've ever seen besides Snyder.

Relentlessboredomm
Oct 15, 2006

It's Sic Semper Tyrannis. You said, "Ever faithful terrible lizard."

C-Euro posted:

If Aaron Glenn is still drawing interest for HC spots this is where I want him to go. Washington needs a vibes overhaul and Glenn's players love him even if the Lions' defense has been bad to mediocre in his time here.

Yea honestly Washington should hire either of the two Lions coordinators bc both of them have just witnessed and participated in a cultural overhaul. They're going to understand more of what it takes than most others will

AAAAA! Real Muenster
Jul 12, 2008

My QB is also named Bort

A Sneaker Broker posted:

The best job available is the Commanders. New Owner, New GM. You got Pick #2 and a lot of money to work with in free agency. Players know you are established since you helped turn Jared Goff into an all-pro caliber QB in just two years. Also, if you look around the division, it's absolute poverty.

E: Also, you have zero expectations. If you win there, you become a legend.
Counterpoint: Team name sucks rear end.

kiimo posted:

I'm still unclear if the Eric Bieniemy is still the OC or not
Was he fired when Ron was fired? If not he is probably still under contract but has been given permission to look around.

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

I cant imagine Bienemy will struggle to find an OC gig. I think the general failure of Washington has hurt his chances at a HC gig but you never know. Still so many dominoes to fall.

Simplex
Jun 29, 2003

The Washington job is poo poo, I don't know what yall are smoking.

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

Youre almost guaranteed 3 years with Washington and you get to pick your QB and everything else as if it's a blank slate.

There's something to be said for it, especially since they traded away 2 former top picks you're now not going to have to worry about paying and balancing in playtime etc.

The ownership are also going to want to not be Snyder lite you would think too.

I cam see the attraction. Especially considering they do have some pieces offensively you can build around

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

Relentlessboredomm posted:

I'd still say the Chargers are better bc they come with a franchise QB and depressingly low expectations but Washington is a shockingly good opening right now.

I'm kinda assuming Chargers will end up going with Harbaugh, otherwise they're a clear #1. Washington is a good opening, the only real issue is not knowing how the new owner will be, but right now they don't seem too meddlesome like Tepper and at the very least it's not Dan Snyder so they seem like as solid a landing spot as any.

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
Though I still argue the Titans are a good landing place, we have a promising young QB and good defense, plus a ton of cap space. If the OL can be rebuilt and better coached, and if we can get some WRs and CBs, Nashville's as good a destination as any.

A Sneaker Broker
Feb 14, 2020

Daily Dose of Internet Brain Rot

BlindSite posted:

Youre almost guaranteed 3 years with Washington and you get to pick your QB and everything else as if it's a blank slate.

There's something to be said for it, especially since they traded away 2 former top picks you're now not going to have to worry about paying and balancing in playtime etc.

The ownership are also going to want to not be Snyder lite you would think too.

I cam see the attraction. Especially considering they do have some pieces offensively you can build around

The things Ben Johnson could do with a Scary Terry... I am a little aroused to see that offense, especially considering we already know how he is using The Sun God.

Hand Row
May 28, 2001

Mega64 posted:

I'm kinda assuming Chargers will end up going with Harbaugh, otherwise they're a clear #1. Washington is a good opening, the only real issue is not knowing how the new owner will be, but right now they don't seem too meddlesome like Tepper and at the very least it's not Dan Snyder so they seem like as solid a landing spot as any.

Harris also owns the 76ers and generally it seems he invests in the team and facilities without meddling.

The Chargers are old and have to clean up their cap. I would take the Commander job over it but Chargers would be number 2 for me.

Ches Neckbeard
Dec 3, 2005

You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

Simplex posted:

The Washington job is poo poo, I don't know what yall are smoking.

No Snyder, good weapons, 3rd overall pick with a couple high 2nds, 75mil in cap and landed the top gm of the class. There's things to work with.

Washington can't block Bienemy from interviewing for an HC position. Dude must murder puppies in interviews to get blanked on interviews after making Howell almost startable.

Hand Row
May 28, 2001
Washington has the second not third so most likely they will have Drake at QB.

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

Isn't Bieniemy also a pass out of the shotgun 70% of the time guy? A head coach has to really want to play that way to hire him.

Simplex
Jun 29, 2003

New owners are morons until proven otherwise, and if anything are less likely to be patient with coaches. Having a top 5 pick that you have to spend on a quarterback is not all that attractive, as it generally means that your fate is tied to the development of a 21 year old who has not played a down of NFL football. Oh and their defense is rear end, and they only have a ton of space because they cleared out almost everybody with talent.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Hand Row posted:

Harris also owns the 76ers and generally it seems he invests in the team and facilities without meddling.

The Chargers are old and have to clean up their cap. I would take the Commander job over it but Chargers would be number 2 for me.

The Chargers aren't really old.

Keenan Allen will be back, but I'm kinda assuming that Mack, Kendricks, Ekeler, and Mike Williams will be gone.

Other than Keenan, the only player that's 30 or older at the start of next year is the long snapper.

The Chargers have QB figured out. No other team with an opening does.

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


Desirability:

  • Chargers
    • Franchise and potentially-elite QB, mostly complete roster
  • Falcons, Seahawks
    • No long-term answer at QB but plenty of resources and players to build around
  • Commanders, Titans, Raiders
    • Full rebuild, more-or-less, but with an owner inclined towards trying for a pretense of stability after recent bad experiences with turnover. Essentially blank slates. Commanders get priority here over the other two as they'll likely have their pick (minus one) of QB in the draft.
  • Panthers
    • Tepper. Can you fix Bryce?

Put the Cowboys at the very top with the Chargers if McCarthy is gone, put them with the Falcons/Seahawks if Dak is also gone.

Pending Sirianni being relieved of duties, put the Eagles in between Chargers and Falcons/Seahawks/Cowboys*.

DeimosRising
Oct 17, 2005

¡Hola SEA!


Simplex posted:

New owners are morons until proven otherwise, and if anything are less likely to be patient with coaches. Having a top 5 pick that you have to spend on a quarterback is not all that attractive, as it generally means that your fate is tied to the development of a 21 year old who has not played a down of NFL football. Oh and their defense is rear end, and they only have a ton of space because they cleared out almost everybody with talent.

yeah barring hitting dingers on every other position group, you're basically staking your entire fate as a HC on picking the right QB in the draft, if there IS a right QB in the draft.

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
I will say I honestly would be fine with Aaron Glenn if he hires good coordinators, acknowledges when he makes mistakes so he can fix them, and knows when to cut his losses when it comes to staff. That's what made Campbell succeed the way he has (and hopefully continue to do!)

We've had a great motivator as a coach, but one loyal to his staff to a fault. I'd love a motivator that will also make the hard decisions to better help the team win.

Ches Neckbeard
Dec 3, 2005

You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

SKULL.GIF posted:

Desirability:

[*]Falcons, Seahawks
  • No long-term answer at QB but plenty of resources and players to build around


Granted, I didn't pay that much attention to the Seahawks, but they seem like the Commies without the free cap. Weapons are there and nothing else.

shirts and skins
Jun 25, 2007

Good morning!
The thing about clamoring for Ben Johnson is, he seems to be an excellent OC but we have no idea if that means he'll be a good coach. New HCs are basically the Peter Principle in action, and we've seen far more supposed offensive or defensive geniuses fail to make the leap than succeed. I'd still prefer him or MacDonald for the Hawks but it's entirely possible he just bombs his vibe check or ends up being a new Arthur Smith.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

shirts and skins posted:

The thing about clamoring for Ben Johnson is, he seems to be an excellent OC but we have no idea if that means he'll be a good coach. New HCs are basically the Peter Principle in action, and we've seen far more supposed offensive or defensive geniuses fail to make the leap than succeed. I'd still prefer him or MacDonald for the Hawks but it's entirely possible he just bombs his vibe check or ends up being a new Arthur Smith.

no poo poo. no one knows if a first time coach is going to be good until someone hires them.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

a neat cape posted:

The Chargers aren't really old.

Keenan Allen will be back, but I'm kinda assuming that Mack, Kendricks, Ekeler, and Mike Williams will be gone.

Other than Keenan, the only player that's 30 or older at the start of next year is the long snapper.

The Chargers have QB figured out. No other team with an opening does.

That's a bunch of good players that are leaving/old. Which is kinda the point.

Keenan Allen will be 32 in April. How much left can be squeezed there?

EmbryoSteve
Dec 18, 2004

Taste~The~Rainbow

My blood sugar is gon' be like

~^^^^*WHOA*^^^^~

A Sneaker Broker posted:

The things Ben Johnson could do with a Scary Terry... I am a little aroused to see that offense, especially considering we already know how he is using The Sun God.

Now imagine him with DK and JSN

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

That's a bunch of good players that are leaving/old. Which is kinda the point.

Keenan Allen will be 32 in April. How much left can be squeezed there?

Mack was good. The rest were not.

Keenan Allen had 108 receptions and 7 touchdowns in 13 games this year. He's never relied on speed to get open, I would assume he's got a few years left.

shirts and skins
Jun 25, 2007

Good morning!
Hawks also interviewing Texans OC Bobby Slowik. Starting to look like the first episode of the Bachelorette up there.

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

Keenan Allen will be 32 in April. How much left can be squeezed there?

Who knows, but he's still good now which is the important thing.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

The Chargers have a lot of young talent too but I'm assuming it doesn't fit the argument so let's ignore them and concentrate on names we know

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

kiimo posted:

The Chargers have a lot of young talent too but I'm assuming it doesn't fit the argument so let's ignore them and concentrate on names we know

Tuli is gonna be a double digit sack guy next year and I am excited for it!

Simplex
Jun 29, 2003

DeimosRising posted:

yeah barring hitting dingers on every other position group, you're basically staking your entire fate as a HC on picking the right QB in the draft, if there IS a right QB in the draft.

To expand on this, and expanding it to top 6 picks since 2019 because the results are funnier:

Kyler Murray - on his 2nd HC
Daniel Jones - 3rd
Joe Burrow - 1st
Tua - 2nd
Herbert - 4th!
Trevor Lawrence -3rd
Zach Wilson - somehow 1st
Trey Lance - 2nd*
Bryce Young -3rd
Stroud 1st
Richardson- 1st.

Bumhead
Sep 26, 2022

ozymandius1024 posted:

What is the consensus best job available right now?

Genuinely it should be the Bears but.. lol

If you're Ben Johnson I think it's the Falcons. Go get Fields to pair up with Pitts, London and the Bijan/Allgeier RB tandem..

Ornery and Hornery
Oct 22, 2020

Ches Neckbeard posted:

Granted, I didn't pay that much attention to the Seahawks, but they seem like the Commies without the free cap. Weapons are there and nothing else.

It’s not that dire but it’s certainly not as good as the post you quoted indicates.

Hawks have a bad cap situation so they might need to trade one of their wrs to make it balance.

Seattle is also missing draft picks.

What’s going good for Seattle: two good young OTs, two good young CBs, one good and one serviceable-ish young edges. Serviceable if unspectacular older qb. Three good older DTs (but Williams is a FA). Two good wrs on expensive contracts and one solid young wr. Two serviceable young RBs.

Basically everything else is replacement level or worse.

But the main thing going for Seattle is that they got the Microsoft money so back da truck up!!!

A Sneaker Broker
Feb 14, 2020

Daily Dose of Internet Brain Rot

EmbryoSteve posted:

Now imagine him with DK and JSN

I know, but gently caress. What will Seattle do for QB? Is Geno really the guy?

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

shirts and skins posted:

Hawks also interviewing Texans OC Bobby Slowik. Starting to look like the first episode of the Bachelorette up there.

Just fill up the entire NFC West with Shanahan tree coaches.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Simplex posted:

To expand on this, and expanding it to top 6 picks since 2019 because the results are funnier:

Kyler Murray - on his 2nd HC
Daniel Jones - 3rd
Joe Burrow - 1st
Tua - 2nd
Herbert - 4th!
Trevor Lawrence -3rd
Zach Wilson - somehow 1st
Trey Lance - 2nd*
Bryce Young -3rd
Stroud 1st
Richardson- 1st.

Herbert has had 2 coaches

A Sneaker Broker
Feb 14, 2020

Daily Dose of Internet Brain Rot

Coldforge posted:

Just fill up the entire NFC West with Shanahan tree coaches.

The success of that tree is pretty wild.

Edna Mode
Sep 24, 2005

Bullshit, that's last year's Fall collection!

I think o-line takes precedent in Seattle over the QB. The 2nd year guys took a step back plus lots of injuries made for a lot of different lineups and a lot of inconsistent play.

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Ornery and Hornery
Oct 22, 2020

Coldforge posted:

Just fill up the entire NFC West with Shanahan tree coaches.

Comrade, we must go further, fill up the entire NFL with Shanahan tree coaches.

Reid, BB, and the Harbaugh boys can come too.

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