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Just watched a garbage and by-the-numbers crappy spy/action movie The Bricklayer. Hoo boy. Not spoiling anything because you should not watch this film. Apparently the titular bricklayer is so good at his job a wall he built and took pride in can be knocked over by a person merely falling against it. Taking a full-force metal pipe swing directly to the head is no problem, nor is getting shot through the chest (or was it torso? Continuity error) and neither injury is mentioned again in the rest of the film, though the plot continues less than five minutes later. A thin metal table can not only survive a bomb explosion unscathed, it can channel the blast such that it takes out a structural wall when placed against it. Oh and the hero survives because he hides behind a folding chair. Apparently the bricklayer used to keep explosives that were activated by oven heat in a record album sleeve that he kept at his former secret girlfriend's house, and though she regularly played music from his collection she never found it? And the same former secret girlfriend was blackmailed into doing bad things because someone knew she and the bricklayer had been together? And that blackmail extended beyond when the blackmailer was dead? And she traded in her entire career and functionally brought the world to war because ... reasons? Greek ambulances can arrive at the scene of a traffic accident within seconds, and opt to attend to someone whose car was merely banged up rather than the person whose car flipped through the air, through a wall, and down a ravine, within sight of where the first car came to rest. The fact that the bricklayer's super-masonry powers are only used once in the movie and make absolutely no sense – yep, the big bad guy sure would keep all of his crime evidence bricked inside the fireplace of his public-facing business partner's party house, where he supposedly was smart enough to never go, evidence he clearly went back to and added to as his crimes continued. Did he keep re-masoning the fireplace every time? "I knew her, because she's me" – lady you interacted with her for less than a full scene, what are you even talking about. The politician accusing the CIA of operating illegally in Greece is giving his big denouncement/evidence reveal speech in a very public venue with roughly thirty thousand sight-lines for snipers, like those employed by the CIA, rather than at the UN or in front of a government body. Camerapeople for the above event do not question the fact that one of the people on their platform is openly bleeding from the face and has a rifle bolted to the side of their fake camera. Also there seemed to be no way up to or down from the scaffolding where they stood. When the scaffolding is heroically brought down by our hero, the key bad guy is critically injured by the fall but none of the rest of the camera/media crew are ever shown again. I guess they're fine? The female lead was so excited that she was being promoted instead of fired, she quits instead? And somehow had the main guy's abandoned dog from Greece with her in the office? The trope of a bad guy knowing that the good guy would spot him walking away from a busy crowd and follow him through several streets and alleys only to discover that it was a body double all along! Good guy is shot in the chest multiple times by police after executing the bad guy in cold blood. Nah, he's fine, just a little winded when he wakes up in the hospital later, but soon enough that he can catch his ex as she tries to make her getaway, even though no evidence ever pointed to her? Also since the CIA claimed the guy who fired a gun and publicly executed someone in front of the anti-CIA politician, all is forgiven between Greece and the US? What about all the evidence the politician had? What about the outrage that was literally resulting in protests and violence in the streets? Nah, don't worry about that. If the CIA suspected there was a mole, and that a "dead" asset had gone rogue, why the hell would you bring back the guy who supposedly killed him the first time? Wouldn't all the evidence pointing to the asset's return show that the agent at best failed or at worst doctored a whole bunch of reports? Just a poo poo movie start to finish. It's irritating to me that this crap got funding.
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Jan 18, 2024 10:27
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| # ? May 25, 2024 19:18 |
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Important question: are there any good brick puns?
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Jan 18, 2024 11:32
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ynohtna posted:Important question: are there any good brick puns? Not a one!
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Jan 18, 2024 11:34
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ynohtna posted:Important question: are there any good brick puns? (Arnie voice) You will be first against the wall, rear end in a top hat!
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Jan 18, 2024 11:44
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Have I shown you the brick trick? *smashes brick on guy's head*
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Jan 18, 2024 12:13
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Facebook Aunt posted:Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez could play brothers. Starring Ramon Estevez as the father.
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Jan 18, 2024 12:19
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FreshFeesh posted:Not a one! I am mortified.
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Jan 18, 2024 12:21
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credburn posted:I got some things that are annoying me in television! 'Flat' can also mean 'outright'. As in, Alex defeated Bob in no time flat. He's just saying "time is nothing else but a circle" in a southern accent. Edit: a little uncertain though if this will affect the quality of the quote for you! CJacobs has a new favorite as of 12:39 on Jan 18, 2024 |
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Jan 18, 2024 12:33
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Rust explains what it means in the same scene - it means history repeats itself. It's in the middle of a speech about him feeling like there is no point in being a detective since all the awful poo poo will happen again. The quote itself isn't profound but what it means to the character in that moment is well done.
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Jan 18, 2024 12:45
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I've recently watched several movies about pool: The Hustler (1961), The Color of Money (1986), and Poolhall Junkies (2002). They're all basically the same movie but the main pool game in each is the one that was most popular at the time (straight, 9-ball, 8-ball, respectively). Except they've all got moments where the table state doesn't make any damned sense and they almost never make it clear who's winning or by how much. Most egregiously (because I watched it the most recently) there's a shot in The Color of Money where they're playing 9-ball and someone takes down the 8 with a straight shot when the 4 or some other lower ball is clearly still on the table and this is entirely ignored. The whole point of 9-ball is that everything counts if and only if you hit the lowest-numbered ball on the table first! gently caress you, Scorcese.
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Jan 18, 2024 12:50
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cowboy
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JOHN SKELETON posted:Rust explains what it means in the same scene - it means history repeats itself. It's in the middle of a speech about him feeling like there is no point in being a detective since all the awful poo poo will happen again. The quote itself isn't profound but what it means to the character in that moment is well done. I mean, I understand the idea of history repeating itself. I'm saying the visual of a "flat circle" is redundant and that makes me think there is something being articulated that I'm not getting. CJacobs posted:'Flat' can also mean 'outright'. As in, Alex defeated Bob in no time flat. He's just saying "time is nothing else but a circle" in a southern accent. Oh wow, when I say it aloud in that way, it does make sense!
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Jan 18, 2024 12:51
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credburn posted:I mean, I understand the idea of history repeating itself. I'm saying the visual of a "flat circle" is redundant and that makes me think there is something being articulated that I'm not getting.
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Jan 18, 2024 13:29
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There's also some further context about what flat might mean in, I think, one of the other interview segments:Rust Cohle posted:It's like in this universe we process time linearly forward. But outside of our space time from what would be a fourth dimensional perspective time wouldn't exist. And from that vantage could we attain it? We see our space time would look flattened. Like a single sculpture of matter and super-position of every place it ever occupied. Our sentience is just cycling through our lives like carts on a track. See everything outside our dimension that's eternity. Eternity looking down on us. Now to us its a sphere but to them its a circle. Between this and the "time is a flat circle" speech, it's possible to read Cohle as describing the problem of being a character in a TV show. Rascar Capac has a new favorite as of 13:41 on Jan 18, 2024 |
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Jan 18, 2024 13:35
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credburn posted:I mean, I understand the idea of history repeating itself. I'm saying the visual of a "flat circle" is redundant and that makes me think there is something being articulated that I'm not getting. It's like a platter, or a compact disc, or a table top, or a manhole cover, or a hubcap, or a wheel, or an oreo, or a record, or a plate. It's not that hard.
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Jan 18, 2024 13:49
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You know, for kids!
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Jan 18, 2024 14:47
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credburn posted:I mean, I understand the idea of history repeating itself. I'm saying the visual of a "flat circle" is redundant and that makes me think there is something being articulated that I'm not getting. It's also that the moment you start dealing with infinity, quantifiers like "size", "length", "amount" or "duration" become completely meaningless. Like, take that saying about a hundred monkeys on typewriters: with enough time, their random tapping on keys could eventually recreate something meaningful like Shakespeare (instead of random noise) by pure chance. But in an infinite amount of time, they would write an infinite amount of Shakespeare. And the dumb other poo poo they write? There's an infinite amount of that as well. You're no longer looking at if something will happen, because in infinite time it can't not happen, but at the recurring patterns behind it. That's the only thing that matters on that scale. That's a cool theory, but since our universe has a very finite lifetime it's not something that's immediately applicable to us. We can afford to think of events as singular moments, connected by a chain of cause and effect. A line, if you will. But if there's a way to move outside of our existence, to see things from a "fourth dimensional" perspective outside of our own space-time, then it becomes a different story. You'd be seeing the whole picture, everywhere and everything all at once, just spaced from each other in different configurations. That best moment of your life? It's there, it's still happening and it can't be ever be removed. It's part of the our universe now, forever. Same with the worst moment of your life: somewhere in time, you're still in that moment, it is still happening, it is part of the structure that ties existence together. Think Dr. Manhatten and how he only uses the presence tense in his narration, for example. Like all moments in time are part of a dense, inseparable mass. Not a line, but a 3 dimensional object. Like a sphere, maybe. So that girl in the basement? Her agony is forever; the moment doesn't just go away because (in our perception) time moves forward. And if there's an observer from beyond time seeing this, then that would be even worse. Such an observer would imply that it exists in a state beyond time: it exists in infinity, and we've already seen that in infinity all patterns repeat in infinite configurations. So even after our universe ends, there is nothing preventing the same one from coming into existence. In fact, it's guaranteed to happen an infinite amount of times. Time is a flat circle: we see it as a line from our perspective, but it's just the same thing on an infinite loop, forever. Now imagine you're a depressed alcoholic who's job only lets him see the worst of people. Your only hope is that existence isn't infinite, that all of the suffering will stop at some point. And then you learn about Carcosa and the tattered robes of the King who watches and all that this implies. You'd come out worse for wear, too. TL;DR: Imagine time is like strip of film, and each frame is another moment passing by. When we watch the film, we experience all the different moments in chronological order, but those frames remain part of the strip even after they passed the projector. And from the projectionist's perspective, that film is something he can go back to as many times as he wants. He keeps it safe in a reel: a flat circle, if you will, that contains everything that happens in the film, forever. A Worrying Warlock has a new favorite as of 15:40 on Jan 18, 2024 |
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Jan 18, 2024 15:32
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Also Fargo leans toward the supernatural as an element in every single season. The wolf and the intuition about the washing machine are no less weird than the hired killer in the latest season or the event at the motel in a different season. It's intentionally a world close to but more mystical or strange than our own.
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Jan 18, 2024 15:46
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JOHN SKELETON posted:Usually people think of time a line. But it's not a line, it's a flattened circle. I guess??? It was originally said by a cracked out psychopath, so it's not supposed to make too much sense.
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Jan 18, 2024 16:08
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Calvin's_dad_talking_about_records.jpg
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Jan 18, 2024 16:44
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Zero_Grade posted:Time isn't made of lines! It is made of circles. That is why clocks are round. Somebody want to post the gif of the skeleton from the last unicorn? Iimm: I have no hopes for any more alien movies after covenant, but just watching the Romulus trailer. It literally looks like a remake of the original.
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Jan 18, 2024 16:45
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FreshFeesh posted:Just watched a garbage and by-the-numbers crappy spy/action movie The Bricklayer. Hoo boy. Not spoiling anything because you should not watch this film. Sounds like he doesn't even gently caress one brick either.
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Jan 18, 2024 16:51
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Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:Sounds like he doesn't even gently caress one brick either. Buddy, they won't even let ME gently caress the bricks .
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Jan 18, 2024 17:29
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Cowslips Warren posted:Somebody want to post the gif of the skeleton from the last unicorn? I just rewatched Evil Dead 2013 which was also Fede Alvaraz and its great. Insanely good practical effects. Don't Breathe was pretty solid too. Here's hoping but I'm going to have some very low expectations going in. That trailer did not inspire confidence, though.
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Jan 18, 2024 23:40
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Cars 3: They just pay the rich rear end in a top hat to gently caress off.
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Jan 19, 2024 03:39
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The weirdest thing about the original Scorpion King movie is how in The Mummy Returns his whole thing is that he was an evil warlord who gets like deposed, becomes magic and then defeated and becomes a monster man. Then in the Scorpion King literally none of that happens and he's an unambiguously good guy.
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Jan 19, 2024 18:08
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muscles like this! posted:The weirdest thing about the original Scorpion King movie is how in The Mummy Returns his whole thing is that he was an evil warlord who gets like deposed, becomes magic and then defeated and becomes a monster man. Then in the Scorpion King literally none of that happens and he's an unambiguously good guy. They mention several times throughout the movie that he's such a cool-guy bad-rear end that his heel turn is pretty much a foregone conclusion. I think at the end his psychic girlfriend says how the kingdom now faces an era of peace with him as king and he's all "Uhhhhhh yeah well about that"
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Jan 19, 2024 18:17
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I like how we don't know what word the scorpion in the real King Scorpion's name stood for, so we just call him King Scorpion. He probably did not become a giant scorpion man.
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Jan 19, 2024 19:43
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Grendels Dad posted:They mention several times throughout the movie that he's such a cool-guy bad-rear end that his heel turn is pretty much a foregone conclusion. I think at the end his psychic girlfriend says how the kingdom now faces an era of peace with him as king and he's all "Uhhhhhh yeah well about that" The funny thing is that they had three more movies (that's right, there are four films in The Scorpion King franchise) to have him do a slow heel turn and show what makes him into the person from The Mummy II but from what I can tell they don't even do that.
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Jan 19, 2024 19:44
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they dont do that because they dont exist?? *looks up The Scorpion King franchise* wtf, i didnt even know they made more than 1??
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Jan 19, 2024 20:48
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Phy posted:I like how we don't know what word the scorpion in the real King Scorpion's name stood for, so we just call him King Scorpion. He probably did not become a giant scorpion man. I mean, yea the ps2 quality CGI was rear end, but he did assuredly become a giant scorpion dude at the end of the mummy movie.
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Jan 20, 2024 11:09
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So wait, I saw the Mummy movies but I did not watch The Scorpion King. Is The Rock not a Scorpion King in The Scorpion King???
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Jan 20, 2024 11:12
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The Rock does Conan the Barbarian stuff, becomes king after beating the bad guy, and there’s scorpion iconography, but he doesn’t sell his soul to Anubis or gently caress with scorpion monsters. My irrationally irritating moment in The Mummy Returns is the battle between the Medjai suffer literally zero casualties in their giant battle with Anubis’ jackal monster army, in a series that previously loved to show mooks and minor characters getting gruesomely owned. Seriously, not even one background guy falls over.
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Jan 20, 2024 11:46
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man i gotta remember to check runtime with imdb, whether the [video stream service] that im [streaming] from has the theatrical cut or if they just dropped in every loving alternate scene im not that big of a fan of improv, .also the plots get real weird when the same events and conversations happen twice but different
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Jan 20, 2024 11:55
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Not a movie moment but i’m watching true detective season 2 and the theme song sucks,shame cause it looks so beautiful but the song is awful.
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Jan 20, 2024 13:46
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I've also been watching that (since I only saw season 1 before) and I can't get the song out of my head! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3HbrfV0hJM But the full song does overstay its welcome a bit..... it works better for me as a 90 second edit. Mierenneuker has a new favorite as of 14:23 on Jan 20, 2024 |
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Jan 20, 2024 14:03
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Brazilianpeanutwar posted:Not a movie moment but i’m watching true detective season 2 and the theme song sucks,shame cause it looks so beautiful but the song is awful. It's especially bad after season 1's banger of a theme song. The vibe was immaculate for the show.
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Jan 20, 2024 14:07
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My mom is watching Northern Exposure (which for some reason I thought was Twin Peaks and man was that a confusing few days) and dear loving 90's the 60-something year old in a relationship with the 20ish year old, what loving hell is this poo poo. Every scene they are in together looks so insanely wrong. I did see part of an episode where the girl is upset her dude is having a conversation with a lady about his age, and they talk for hours. Compared to him and her, who don't have anything in common to talk about. But they DO like each other so there's that! Reminds me of a line from The Color Purple where Shug is lamenting what happened to Albert after they broke it off, when she left town after he got married, how she knew he was weak but loved him anyway, and how nature had already picked them to be together, but what they had between them wasn't nothing but body love.
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Jan 20, 2024 14:48
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As I recall, as this repressed memory comes flooding back, it's established in Northern Exposure that Holling and Shelly gently caress like rabbits. There's a scene when the doctor asks Shelly how often they have sex on average. She says four times, to which he replies "Wow, four times a week, that's pretty good for an old man." And she just blinks and goes "No, I mean a day."
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Jan 20, 2024 15:00
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ynohtna posted:I am mortified. Mortarfied, surely.
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Jan 20, 2024 15:33
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| # ? May 25, 2024 19:18 |
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 But thank you for getting it. 
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Jan 20, 2024 15:50
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