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I messed up. I told my newly three year old that if she makes a wish on a shooting star the Abby cadabe stuffy she has might play with her after we shut the door at night, and every morning for the past few days she laments how that did not happen. Lessons learned.
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Jan 18, 2024 14:13
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Hadlock posted:Charter schools taking public money have to take all applicants within their district, up to ~110% of capacity. They're not private schools they're just independent of the local school district. At least in California I went to a charter school for grades 5/6 and the kids in my classes were dumber than the public school my mom faked an address to get in to. The charter school had a lottery draw while the public school had large enough classes to separate high performing students (and also me) into advanced math and what not. meanolmrcloud posted:I messed up. I told my newly three year old that if she makes a wish on a shooting star the Abby cadabe stuffy she has might play with her after we shut the door at night, and every morning for the past few days she laments how that did not happen. Lessons learned. The stochastic nature of star wishes is a cruel truth.
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Jan 18, 2024 14:14
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Hadlock posted:Charter schools taking public money have to take all applicants within their district, up to ~110% of capacity. They're not private schools they're just independent of the local school district. At least in California It’s highly variable depending on what state they are in. Maybe they are decently regulated in California, I don’t know, but overall they are still a negative on the public education system and should not exist.
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Jan 18, 2024 15:33
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Hi Parenting thread! Just found this thread, and perfect timing with a 2.2 year old and another on the way. My kid has been basically a great kid; meeting and surpassing milestones in a ton of categories. However one thing that worries me a little bit is her getting really frustrated if something goes wrong; ex: a magnet tile doesn’t line up just right and she smashes the entire thing and flails her arms. We have tried a few things, like having her to recognize she’s angry, give her self a hug, pick up the pieces or try something else for awhile. But it still persists, and I’m a bit worried about what it’s gonna be like when our attention is split with the second one around. - Does one of her pieces go flying and hit the sibling? how do we react? - Will she be able to calm her self down without hurting herself? - Maybe this is something that she eventually grows out of? Curious for folks thoughts, tia!
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Jan 18, 2024 15:45
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CarForumPoster posted:Does it matter if your normal immun functioning, vaxxed kid goes to a school with a measles outbreak? Serious question I’m bad at health science. If not, who cares?
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Jan 18, 2024 15:49
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Nybble posted:Hi Parenting thread! Just found this thread, and perfect timing with a 2.2 year old and another on the way.... I’m a bit worried about what it’s gonna be like when our attention is split with the second one around. quote:- how do we react? quote:- Will she be able to calm her self down without hurting herself? quote:- Maybe this is something that she eventually grows out of?
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Jan 18, 2024 15:55
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Nybble posted:Hi Parenting thread! Just found this thread, and perfect timing with a 2.2 year old and another on the way. I think that’s entirely developmentally appropriate. It’s part of the transition from being an infant with effectively binary feelings to a toddler with a whole menu to pick from. Right now she’s struggling with identifying what she’s feeling and how to react. To drag out the analogy, part of what you can do is help her to recognize what her menu of feelings is, and understand when she needs to take a break. I have two kids, my oldest (4yo) wasn’t as much of a stereotypical 2 year old, but the youngest (2yo) is definitely similar to your daughter. She will throw toys, hit, and repeat “No” to anything when she’s feeling frustrated. What we do is when we see she’s having difficult feelings, we take her to the side and sit with her for a one minute “time out” for her to calm down. Part of the time out is talking through what happened and what she’s feeling. E.g., “Can you tell me why we’re sitting here?” “I understand you feel frustrated. It’s ok to be frustrated. Can you tell me why you feel frustrated?” It appears to be helping, she’ll sometimes go take a break on her own, and she’s getting better at talking through what she did and what was happening to make her feel frustrated. A good book is “The Crayons’ Book of Feelings”. Each crayon color expresses a feeling, and at the end it has a rainbow crayon that has all the feelings all at once. Rainbow feelings happen a lot to 2 year olds 
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Jan 18, 2024 16:03
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Kolodny posted:I think that’s entirely developmentally appropriate. It’s part of the transition from being an infant with effectively binary feelings to a toddler with a whole menu to pick from. Right now she’s struggling with identifying what she’s feeling and how to react. To drag out the analogy, part of what you can do is help her to recognize what her menu of feelings is, and understand when she needs to take a break.  This is a better answer than mine.
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Jan 18, 2024 16:14
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Nybble posted:Hi Parenting thread! Just found this thread, and perfect timing with a 2.2 year old and another on the way. I don't see BLF discussed here much so I don't know what the general consensus of them is. But the course was developed by a formerly-practicing child therapist and two self-admitted low-key trainwrecks of parents. Which is to say they're like you and me, and so their advice is eminently practical.
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Jan 18, 2024 16:15
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Hadlock posted:Charter schools taking public money have to take all applicants within their district, up to ~110% of capacity. They're not private schools they're just independent of the local school district. At least in California Just requiring applications to be made eliminates every kid with a guardian or parent who cannot or will not take the time to learn about, fill out, and submit the application. Since parental involvement decisively correlates with basically every measure of academic performance, that passive filter is all it takes for a charter school to show significantly higher academic performance. Everyone who is attending a charter school with application-based enrollment has at least one person in their life who cares enough about their education to actively seek out a (perceived to be) better educational environment for them and the ability to make that happen. That person will also tend to aid them in other ways academically. My understanding is that in just about every example that a charter school has operated under automatic enrollment the results are at best equivalent to the public school that was replacing.
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Jan 18, 2024 16:35
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Sitting here in a glider that cost more than any other piece of furniture in our house with a 1 week old right now. My primary complaint is that he thinks the optimal time to do stuff is 11 pm - 3 am and even when he’s calm he’s still going full quiet alert and won’t really sleep. Still, 14/10 experience so far.
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Jan 18, 2024 16:48
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Shifty Pony posted:Just requiring applications to be made eliminates every kid with a guardian or parent who cannot or will not take the time to learn about, fill out, and submit the application. Since parental involvement decisively correlates with basically every measure of academic performance, that passive filter is all it takes for a charter school to show significantly higher academic performance. There is also a lot to unpack about who, in a specific area, is choosing to remove themselves from the general public educational system and why. Sometimes it's people seeking higher educational attainment, but sometimes it basically ends up looking like a segregated school system. That might not even be entirely due to shithead parents, it could easily be a reflection of the local socio-economic reality and the general make up of the sort of parents who, as you said, care enough to actively seek out what they think is a better educational system. All that said, and fully recognizing how problematic charters can be, do the best you can for your kid. Individual parents are going to have the best read on what the educational realities are where they are, and as much as I want to take a principled stand on charter schools my daughter's education isn't the place to do that. Your kid only gets one swing at a quality education. If the reality is that the local charter school is going to provide the best opportunities, hold your nose and do that and then get involved advocating for better schools all around if you really want to make a positive impact.
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Jan 18, 2024 17:04
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Is there an agreed upon time to start swimming lessons for infants/toddlers? We live near the ocean, and I absolutely loved the beach growing up, and still do. I’d like to make sure my son has all the advantages of learning to swim that he can, so he can enjoy the beach safely as well. (If he chooses to).
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Jan 18, 2024 17:25
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RCarr posted:Is there an agreed upon time to start swimming lessons for infants/toddlers? Younger than that is good to get them "used to" water, or you can just swim with them at the pool or whatever.
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Jan 18, 2024 17:37
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What is meant when people say me and my wife will be the PTA power couple in ref to being a doctor/engineer? I've heard this a few times over the years and never really thought about it until now that were having a kid and it just popped into my head. What are the powers? Do I have to do some sort of ritual to attain them?
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Jan 18, 2024 18:11
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Rasputin on the Ritz posted:, and as much as I want to take a principled stand on charter schools my daughter's education isn't the place to do that. Agree
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Jan 18, 2024 18:19
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CarForumPoster posted:What is meant when people say me and my wife will be the PTA power couple in ref to being a doctor/engineer? I've heard this a few times over the years and never really thought about it until now that were having a kid and it just popped into my head. You will be expected to provide medical/home DIY advice that completely supports the opinions of whichever PTA member is asking you 
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Jan 18, 2024 18:26
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Kolodny posted:A good book is “The Crayons’ Book of Feelings”. Each crayon color expresses a feeling, and at the end it has a rainbow crayon that has all the feelings all at once. Rainbow feelings happen a lot to 2 year olds And I'm having my own bub at the end of March, so we might want a copy when he's that age as well!
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Jan 18, 2024 18:45
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Our second was born when our toddler was 2.5yo. We started talking to him very early about his little brother. You can't really prepare them (or yourself) for the realities of divided attention, but you can keep them kinda in the loop. There are lots of children's books out there about being a big brother/sister or about families taking care of babies. We got a few of these and incorporated them into our reading routines and I think it helped him a lot. We found that going from 1 kid to 2 wasn't as hard as going from 0 to 1. However, it isn't as simple as 1+1 if that makes any sense. How the heck people manage 3-4 kids is beyond me and luckily I'll never have to find out. The hardest part for me about our first kid was I went through a kind of mourning period for my former life. My wife was able to process this easier because being pregnant forced certain lifestyle changes already and started the baby bonding process earlier. Dads don't beat yourselves up if you can't just jump right into it. You're gonna have to just learn to swim by swimming. It's okay to feel sad that you can't see your friends or go out and do what you used to do. And the very beginning part is very hard because the baby mostly just cries at you and fucks up your sleep. But when you start getting a little positive feedback, those tiny smiles or a laugh, you'll know it's all worth it.
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Jan 18, 2024 19:38
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Yea man, there’s nothing like making your baby laugh or smile. Best feeling in the world.
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Jan 18, 2024 19:44
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RCarr posted:Yea man, there’s nothing like making your baby laugh or smile. Best feeling in the world. I really want to agree, but honestly if I'm being brutally honest I think the feeling of your kid finally going to sleep at 3 AM and you managing to put them in the bassinet without waking them up might be better.
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Jan 18, 2024 19:51
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Rufio posted:The hardest part for me about our first kid was I went through a kind of mourning period for my former life. Mine is 3 and I still do this periodically Occasionally I'll stay up until 2am and pretend I have control over my personal time, and then pay for it the next day/s
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Jan 18, 2024 20:09
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Hadlock posted:Mine is 3 and I still do this periodically Our New Year’s resolution is going to bed before midnight. We’re about 50/50 on it. It’s all chores instead of fun stuff though. Another thing we’re trying to do is get each parent at least one friends weekend to disconnect from parent life. It’s not a weekend full of debauchery or anything, but it’s such a huge mental boost to have a couple days where the only agenda is ‘hang with friends and do whatever.’
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Jan 18, 2024 20:48
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I can't believe I used to take for granted SITTING IN A CAFE. However long I want, doing whatever. Sketchbook, novel, laptop, just watching passers-by on the street. Have a refill or a second drink. Take a stroll around the neighborhood in quiet contemplation. Oh you can absolutely bring a kid to a cafe! Sure! It is most definitely not the same experience though.
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Jan 18, 2024 20:58
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I’m good at going to bed before midnight to Be Responsible, despite yearning for more time to myself. I’m bad about sitting on my phone wasting my loving time until 2AM, ensuring that I am still tired and also am not using my time to myself productively.
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Jan 18, 2024 21:03
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RCarr posted:Is there an agreed upon time to start swimming lessons for infants/toddlers? most swim programs around here will take them as early as 6 months if you do it as a parent-kid activity to get them used to being underwater and how to blow bubbles, but not until 3 as a solo lesson. We had our kids in our pool before 1, and my almost-3-year-old can swim ~10 feet without help at this point.
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Jan 18, 2024 21:15
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Brawnfire posted:I can't believe I used to take for granted SITTING IN A CAFE. However long I want, doing whatever. Sketchbook, novel, laptop, just watching passers-by on the street. Have a refill or a second drink. Take a stroll around the neighborhood in quiet contemplation. They're quiet for the few minutes it takes to eat the chocolate biscuit
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Jan 18, 2024 21:24
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Brawnfire posted:Oh you can absolutely bring a kid to a cafe! Sure! It is most definitely not the same experience though. For whatever reason it's completely impossible to explain this to someone without kids Just having to spend even 5% of your brain power loosely keeping an eye on the kid making sure they aren't standing up on a wobbly chair waving a butter knife around, or leaving the building to try to go play in traffic, or whatever, it's extremely taxing. Getting anything of value done at all is basically impossible Public schools are probably the real reason why the modern world is so much more efficient than before
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Jan 18, 2024 21:32
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Oh man, avoiding the siren song of staying up late to have "me time" is so tough. But it is 100% worth going to bed early, in my opinion at least.
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Jan 18, 2024 21:38
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My 100% fully vaxxed 2 year old caught whooping cough from a European vacation. We think his sister had it too but it was much milder. It was horrific and severe. I don’t wish it on anyone.
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Jan 18, 2024 22:03
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Democratic Pirate posted:Another thing we’re trying to do is get each parent at least one friends weekend to disconnect from parent life. It’s not a weekend full of debauchery or anything, but it’s such a huge mental boost to have a couple days where the only agenda is ‘hang with friends and do whatever.’ Yea this is a great idea. Just having any time at all to get some feeling of autonomy back is a huge boost to your morale and self esteem. I’m currently working 70 hours a week and my 2 days off my wife is working so I’m taking care of my son, and as much as I love the little guy it really wears on you when you literally have like 1-2 hours of free time each week.
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Jan 18, 2024 22:09
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chadbear posted:There still is about a 3 percent chance that the vaccine doesn’t confer immunity. Small but not negligible. Vaccines work best in a herd immunity setting. This risk and the need for herd immunity, but also I mentioned that we want more kids and our younger kids would likely not be finished with their entire immunization schedule. So something could be brought home or spread at a school event. Plus I don't know if I'm super comfy with a community that lax about vaccines. RCarr posted:Is there an agreed upon time to start swimming lessons for infants/toddlers? The YMCA starts at 6 months - with parents in the water holding them the whole time. Classes where the parent is not in the class start at age 3. Some programs start earlier, but there's mixed opinions on the survival swimming style of teaching. The American Academy of Pediatrics says that swim classes under age 1 don't lower the risk of drowning, but they don't tell you not to go swimming with your baby. I did 4 months of it with my son when he was 7-11 months old because it was too hot outside to do anything else (indoor pool) and it's just good to get your infant/toddler exposed to new environments and activities.
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Jan 18, 2024 22:34
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RCarr posted:Is there an agreed upon time to start swimming lessons for infants/toddlers? lol reading this post while sitting at the community pool while my kid is in swimming lessons. We did private lessons at 2 which was a tremendous waste because he was too young and refused to cooperate. We started group lessons at 4 and he's taken to them extremely well. The group lessons are dirt cheap because they're ran by the town and I have nothing but good things to say about them. He's making huge improvements in a short amount of time. Plus in my mind it counts as an extracurricular so I don't feel bad that we dropped him from soccer.
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Jan 18, 2024 22:38
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Democratic Pirate posted:Our New Year’s resolution is going to bed before midnight. We’re about 50/50 on it. It’s all chores instead of fun stuff though. Something that works for us is at least once a week we try to give the other one a solid six hours of undisturbed me time. gently caress off to the mall, go hang out with a friend, read a book someplace the kid can't find you, sleep, sit in a dark room and stare at the wall, whatever floats your boat. It really, really helps to decompress. It also gives some solid one on one bonding time to the other parent. We've only got one, though, so YMMV if you're trying to wrangle 3 kids and it's all hands on deck 24/7.
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Jan 18, 2024 22:50
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We unfortunately have a pool so we kind of need to do swim lessons to avoid The Drowning. I agree it's probably largely a waste of time before 4. Most of the lesson involves the instructor coaxing her into the water and then trying to keep her from getting too upset. In 30 minutes she gets maybe 5 minutes of quality instruction
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Jan 18, 2024 22:50
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Rasputin on the Ritz posted:Something that works for us is at least once a week we try to give the other one a solid six hours of undisturbed me time. gently caress off to the mall, go hang out with a friend, read a book someplace the kid can't find you, sleep, sit in a dark room and stare at the wall, whatever floats your boat. This has been working very well for us. My wife is out of town a lot so I'm solo parenting. On Sundays typically my wife will take the kid to Starbucks in the morning and then go to her mom's house until after dinner
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Jan 18, 2024 22:52
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Hadlock posted:We unfortunately have a pool so we kind of need to do swim lessons to avoid The Drowning. I agree it's probably largely a waste of time before 4. Most of the lesson involves the instructor coaxing her into the water and then trying to keep her from getting too upset. In 30 minutes she gets maybe 5 minutes of quality instruction Definitely not a waste of time before 4. My daughter had weekly 30 minute swim lessons from 2 to 4, and by the end she was jumping in, swimming underwater, pulling herself back out, and starting to learn actual stroke form.
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Jan 18, 2024 23:03
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Wow, first time we've had a multi day meltdown. Went to bed angry and woke up just as angry the next day. Sleep is usually a hard reset 
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Jan 18, 2024 23:47
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Hadlock posted:For whatever reason it's completely impossible to explain this to someone without kids Cafe chairs are so wobbly! I don't understand how they get so wobbly. Public schools are absolutely seen by many as a glorified babysitter which means that they can really start to fail as both education and babysitting when they get stretched to capacity. The pandemic really shone a spotlight on this
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Jan 18, 2024 23:58
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Ten hours on my own, ten with my son and three with both son and daughter. Son didn't nap today. I literally feel like my head got slammed around inside of a wooden box for the whole time. I ache in my neurons. Holy gently caress who designed these things (kids)
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Jan 19, 2024 01:02
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