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orange sky posted:Sometimes glorious American capitalism really brings the goods - getting a snoo where I live would cost something like 2k, I'm pretty well off but I can't spend that money. Oh well, I'll spend it on therapy later for sleep deficiency induced psychosis You may be able to rent it. That's what we did and it's much more affordable since you only really need it for 3-6 months depending on your kid. I honestly would say don't buy one unless you are planning 2 or more kids.
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Jan 19, 2024 01:35
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I love the weird poo poo I overhear when my wife and daughter are talking. "It's not an AXE-olotl, it's an AhX-olotl" says my daughter, irritably. What the gently caress is this conversation? Edit: LMAO "sorry this is wet" poo poo like this makes it all worthwhile 
Brawnfire fucked around with this message at 02:03 on Jan 19, 2024 |
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Jan 19, 2024 01:42
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Brawnfire posted:I love the weird poo poo I overhear when my wife and daughter are talking. 4yo likes to make up his own songs with made up word lyrics, set to the tune of other songs. He gets VERY upset if somebody else tries to join in, as it's always "the wrong words" or "I didn't want you to say those words".
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Jan 19, 2024 02:11
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Rasputin on the Ritz posted:Something that works for us is at least once a week we try to give the other one a solid six hours of undisturbed me time. gently caress off to the mall, go hang out with a friend, read a book someplace the kid can't find you, sleep, sit in a dark room and stare at the wall, whatever floats your boat. That sounds great. 6 hours is a stretch with the phase we’re in, but I have a (mostly) weekly tennis league that has been extremely good for my mental state. Pure bliss - 2.5 hours of focusing on nothing more than hitting a ball with a fancy stick. We just need my wife to get back into an equivalent hobby. I’m hopeful the solo parenting time gets easier when the kids can entertain themselves more. They might fight more but that mediation has to be less intensive than trying to keep track of a 1yo who wants to get into specifically the things we are trying to keep them away from.
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Jan 19, 2024 05:48
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After about 4 when they can safely entertain themselves, they get easier. Our 2, nearly 3yo is the major headache, but he's slowly getting easier to deal with as he starts to talk more. The 9mo is likely to live as robustly as he does, but we won't have a baby to distract us from her, so she'll probably have an easier go of it.
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Jan 19, 2024 06:37
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My son just turned 3 and omg has this been more difficult than when he turned 2. Now he needs constant attention and has the vocabulary to ask for everything under the sun. I am so drat proud of him and it’s incredible watching his little personality develop, but it’s been a lot lately with all of us snowed in for the past week.
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Jan 19, 2024 07:10
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What's a best way to keep a drawer of this type from slamming shut? Baby learned how to open one in the kitchen by himself. We're fine with it because it's just plastic kitchenware and slamming them to the ground entertains him greatly. It's just a really light drawer and closes easily if he stands up against it, so I don't want him to accidentally get his fingers in between. Some sort of door slower? It's a rental so I'd rather not screw anything in. Doll House Ghost fucked around with this message at 13:07 on Jan 19, 2024 |
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Jan 19, 2024 12:25
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I don’t know if it would work specifically with that type of cabinet since it would be at the side rather than the top but a standard childproof latch lock with a catch (e.g. the Benny Bradley ones) also prevents you from slamming something shut (since you have to depress the latch to fully close it). You can mount those without screwing or drilling.
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Jan 19, 2024 14:32
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remigious posted:My son just turned 3 and omg has this been more difficult than when he turned 2. Now he needs constant attention and has the vocabulary to ask for everything under the sun. I am so drat proud of him and it’s incredible watching his little personality develop, but it’s been a lot lately with all of us snowed in for the past week. Yeah this is me too. We've had 2 snow days plus a holiday this week and I'm dying. Double so because we're trying to limit TV but with few outdoor options beyond playing in the snow (which does burn some time but we can't stay out forever) it makes it a constant juggling act to keep him from looking for things to do, aka increasing the chances of destruction.
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Jan 19, 2024 15:00
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You can buy soft closing rails but that's gonna be a pain to install
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Jan 19, 2024 15:01
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Yeah 3 was harder than 2 overall but 4 got a lot better and now with an almost 6 and almost 8 year old things are much easier than they were. In a way anyway. The need for attention is much less constant but their problems can’t always be solved with a hug anymore, like when Darla is mean to one of them during recess. I think as they age it’s a pretty constant trend of less frequent, more complicated problems.
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Jan 19, 2024 15:20
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Olanphonia posted:You may be able to rent it. That's what we did and it's much more affordable since you only really need it for 3-6 months depending on your kid. I honestly would say don't buy one unless you are planning 2 or more kids. Yeah we rented as well. You could also look for used ones. Honestly if you can at all swing it you should it's so loving worth it. The experience of our first kid without one vs our 2nd with one was night and day. A young baby sleeping through the night is the most valuable thing in the universe as far as I'm concerned. It makes everything so much easier.
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Jan 19, 2024 19:16
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You could temporarily install front door sealing tape. It's puffy and while they could/will still slam their fingers in there it'll act like a shock absorber for the six months you want/need it and then can remove it. Door sealing tape is like $20 for 1.5 doors worth; I like the silicone stuff it's peel and stick I bet you could do 50 drawers with it
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Jan 19, 2024 19:30
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Well, the wife took a much lower-paying, lower-stress job than her big law lawyering. Yay! Going to be tight for the next few years, but we'll manage, and eventually the kid will grow out of daycare *looks at pregnancy test this morning* hmmmmm
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Jan 19, 2024 21:17
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Hadlock posted:You could temporarily install front door sealing tape. It's puffy and while they could/will still slam their fingers in there it'll act like a shock absorber for the six months you want/need it and then can remove it. Door sealing tape is like $20 for 1.5 doors worth; I like the silicone stuff it's peel and stick I bet you could do 50 drawers with it King Hong Kong posted:I don’t know if it would work specifically with that type of cabinet since it would be at the side rather than the top but a standard childproof latch lock with a catch (e.g. the Benny Bradley ones) also prevents you from slamming something shut (since you have to depress the latch to fully close it). You can mount those without screwing or drilling. Thanks for these, I'll have research em a bit but now I've got something to start with.
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Jan 19, 2024 21:22
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Academician Nomad posted:Well, the wife took a much lower-paying, lower-stress job than her big law lawyering. Yay! Going to be tight for the next few years, but we'll manage, and eventually the kid will grow out of daycare Congrats! There are more important things than money. My wife had a high stress, work all the time even after coming home from the office type job, where she was making great money, but was absolutely miserable. Overworked, stressed out, unhappy. And it affected our relationship and home life as well. She went back to school and chose a different career and although we have less money now, life is much better.
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Jan 19, 2024 21:46
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Academician Nomad posted:Well, the wife took a much lower-paying, lower-stress job than her big law lawyering. Yay! Going to be tight for the next few years, but we'll manage, and eventually the kid will grow out of daycare It's legitimately hard to decide which is worse: newborn caused sleep deprivation or Big Law Jobs. Both are terrible in their own way. So congrats to her on getting out of big law at least. May the billing ever be in her favor
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Jan 19, 2024 21:46
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D-Pad posted:Yeah we rented as well. You could also look for used ones. Honestly if you can at all swing it you should it's so loving worth it. The experience of our first kid without one vs our 2nd with one was night and day. A young baby sleeping through the night is the most valuable thing in the universe as far as I'm concerned. It makes everything so much easier. Does the snoo create a sleep prop/crutch for the baby? Do they have a harder time self soothing/falling asleep on their own down the road?
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Jan 20, 2024 00:18
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Ha, I actually went back into practicing in big law when I was pregnant with #2 (I was at a big firm but in a non practicing role). We're not biggest of the big and the comp reflects that, but so do the expectations and folks' attitudes to an extent. And the pay is still objectively good, which is nice with two in daycare.
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Jan 20, 2024 00:39
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Bloody Cat Farm posted:Does the snoo create a sleep prop/crutch for the baby? Do they have a harder time self soothing/falling asleep on their own down the road? We didn't have that experience. We moved ours from the snoo to a floor bed and didn't have issues that we could identify as related to being moved out of the snoo. Might create a dependency on white noise? E: forgot to mention there is a recommended weaning step down that helps adjust them. At the end it's just basically a bassinet with white noise. Olanphonia fucked around with this message at 04:04 on Jan 20, 2024 |
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Jan 20, 2024 00:43
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Bloody Cat Farm posted:Does the snoo create a sleep prop/crutch for the baby? Do they have a harder time self soothing/falling asleep on their own down the road? Not in my experience ours has always slept though the night since like month 4 Things change so rapidly for the baby two nights not in the Snoo is like 3% of their life at three months they get over it pretty much immediately I saw one person say they kept their Snoo until month 6. I think at 2.5 months we were already talking about moving the kid to the crib in a separate room at 3 months, but didn't actually execute on that until 4 months We did formula though; if you're exclusively boob feeding maybe it's more convenient to keep the kid in the Snoo next to your bed for all six months.
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Jan 20, 2024 01:48
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Help me sanity check my daycare, goons. It’s my son (4 months old)’s 3rd day of daycare—all full days in the midst of his sleep regression which has been hitting his naps for about 2 weeks now. Every day, his primary teacher has given more negative feedback to my wife and I’m starting to feel that we’re being bullied a bit. Day 1: they fed him more aggressively at the end of the day (he goes 2.5-2.5 hours between bottles in daytime at home) and crammed 4 bottles into 9 hours. Had a snafu where he needed more pants in his initial drop off kit but remedied the next day. No nap over 30 minutes. Day 2: every bottle is like an hour ahead of the prior day and on the verge of needing a fifth. Get feedback from secondary teacher that “he did better today” and that it takes them time to adjust. No nap over 30 minutes. Day 3: every bottle is even earlier to the point where my wife had to run over a fifth just in case. Got a nap of 50 minutes and two 30 despite us getting a note that he refused to go down twice this morning.. His primary teacher called my wife with the following lines today: “we have a system when it comes to calming fussy babies. If they won’t sleep we offer a bottle” “He’s taking 5 ounces at all his bottles, maybe adjust them up to 4 bottles with 7 to 8 ounces next week” *note, he’s been spitting up like crazy while there and is fine at home then. “We have 7 other children in the room, and his fussing is disturbing them now, but this tends to happen when we get a challenging baby like him” Despite all of this, the secondary teacher again is encouraging and says he’s in adjustment. Naturally the feedback is hitting us a bit hard. He’s generally really pleasant at home and likes to hang out and cuddle and play with us, even in bad naps. He just started rolling, but he’s the only kid in the rom with his crib on the highest setting so I assume he’s the youngest. Am I crazy for thinking the shaming on bottle amounts (he always gets 5-6 ounces a bottle at home) or calling him challenging is a bit premature and lovely? How long did it take your kids to adjust to daycare?
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Jan 20, 2024 02:27
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I personally think that daycare sounds a bit lovely, but I also don't think whether they are crappy or not matters...if.you aren't comfortable with your kid being there, I'd look elsewhere. We had my son in his first daycare for two weeks and they labeled him "challenging" and "couldn't get him to stop crying" and we didn't like the vibe we were getting from there so we yanked him after two weeks and found a new spot from him and the new spot was much better. He was happy there all the time and they never had complaints about him being "challenging" and they never tried to force sleep with a bottle. That's weird. Infants were also allowed to nap on their own schedule...
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Jan 20, 2024 03:10
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“If they don’t settle we use a bottle” is some mother in law rear end poo poo that leads to reflux and an even more cranky baby
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Jan 20, 2024 03:55
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Hey thread! Just became a dad last Sunday, looking for ways to support my wife through breastfeeding and I guess reassurance that we're doing ok at it. Milk came in yesterday and the kid has been cluster feeding the last two days. I'm making sure wife is getting enough sleep/food/water/emotional support but she's falling into bouts of hopelessness that things will not improve, we'll be feeding every 15 minutes forever, and the boob is the only way to have her stop fussing. I'm hopeful that with midwife support we're gonna get through the next weeks but it's just awful having to wake her up to feed when she's dealing with so much.
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Jan 20, 2024 04:01
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Bi-la kaifa posted:Hey thread! Just became a dad last Sunday, looking for ways to support my wife through breastfeeding and I guess reassurance that we're doing ok at it. Milk came in yesterday and the kid has been cluster feeding the last two days. I'm making sure wife is getting enough sleep/food/water/emotional support but she's falling into bouts of hopelessness that things will not improve, we'll be feeding every 15 minutes forever, and the boob is the only way to have her stop fussing. Do formula too, trying to do all breastmilk is dumb unless it’s easy. Yeah it’s good in some ways but it’s not worth stressing over. Baby needs marginally happier mom more than marginally healthier milk.
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Jan 20, 2024 04:13
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Post partum is definitely a thing keep an eye on that or it will get away from youAcademician Nomad posted:Do formula too, trying to do all breastmilk is dumb unless it’s easy. This 1000% it's 2024 not 2011 it's ok to supplement the boob with formula
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Jan 20, 2024 04:32
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Bi-la kaifa posted:Hey thread! Just became a dad last Sunday, looking for ways to support my wife through breastfeeding and I guess reassurance that we're doing ok at it. Milk came in yesterday and the kid has been cluster feeding the last two days. I'm making sure wife is getting enough sleep/food/water/emotional support but she's falling into bouts of hopelessness that things will not improve, we'll be feeding every 15 minutes forever, and the boob is the only way to have her stop fussing. My wife had a tough time with it as well with both kids. She ended up switching to mostly pumping. This helped us by letting me do feedings and also we could be sure the baby was getting enough to eat.
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Jan 20, 2024 04:34
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Rufio posted:My wife had a tough time with it as well with both kids. She ended up switching to mostly pumping. This helped us by letting me do feedings and also we could be sure the baby was getting enough to eat. Tomorrow we talk to the midwife about pumping so I can do feedings. That seems like the best option. Formula is also a great idea, but my wife has decided against using it. She's anxious about cost, and if we supplement to start it'll be a slippery slope but I'm not sure if that's entirely rational. I might talk to the midwife about it privately and see if I can have her try to advocate for some kind of supplementation.
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Jan 20, 2024 05:41
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Bi-la kaifa posted:Tomorrow we talk to the midwife about pumping so I can do feedings. That seems like the best option. Formula is also a great idea, but my wife has decided against using it. She's anxious about cost, and if we supplement to start it'll be a slippery slope but I'm not sure if that's entirely rational. I might talk to the midwife about it privately and see if I can have her try to advocate for some kind of supplementation. If she is determined to nurse she should know that it should get better. But as with everything there is a cost. I had to triple feed (nurse for 15 minutes, then pump while my husband fed the bottle from the previous pump session) for the first 8 or so weeks. It sucked so hard, and I’m honestly not sure if it was worth it. I’m obsessive on a good day so every pump I would be counting the ounces and comparing it to what my baby ate to make sure we’d never run out of breast milk. Plus you’re essentially doubling the time spent feeding the baby (even more when you consider the time to set up and clean pumping supplies), which cuts down on much-needed sleep. All in all I’m pretty sure I had post-partum depression that negatively impacted my bonding and my marriage, both of which were far more important than delivering breast milk instead of formula.
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Jan 20, 2024 05:54
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TheGreyGhost posted:“we have a system when it comes to calming fussy babies. If they won’t sleep we offer a bottle” They're supposed to feed on a combination of schedule and cueing, but not to "force a nap". Also, check with your pediatrician and that sounds like too much volume at four months, which would explain the spit up. As a point of comparison, at four months our kids were generally taking three 4 oz bottles of expressed milk during 8.5 hours of daycare. With formula you'd expect more volume, but not "twice as much" more. Also it's their job, not yours, to manage the room. Even if yours is the "fussy baby", tough, that's their responsibility. Any unsolicited feedback that's not actually actionable on your part is really unwarranted. I don't know if it's "bullying" necessarily, but it's definitely unprofessional. I've been saying for a while that a daycare is only as good as its director. Bring this up with them and if they run a tight ship they'll "fix the problem" for you. But if you also get push back from the director about this, it's time to move on. ExcessBLarg! fucked around with this message at 06:01 on Jan 20, 2024 |
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Jan 20, 2024 05:58
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The first week post partum is full of insane wild hormones for everyone and definitely shouldn’t be used as an indicator that ANY of it will continue! At some point around day 4 I was sobbing hysterically while nursing my newborn because I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I’m a) not a crier b) wasn’t having issues nursing, and c) had hyperemesis and hated being pregnant. It made literally no sense but it still happened! It WILL get better and easier and you’ll settle into a rhythm that works for you all shockingly quickly.
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Jan 20, 2024 07:28
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Bi-la kaifa posted:Tomorrow we talk to the midwife about pumping so I can do feedings. That seems like the best option. Formula is also a great idea, but my wife has decided against using it. She's anxious about cost, and if we supplement to start it'll be a slippery slope but I'm not sure if that's entirely rational. I might talk to the midwife about it privately and see if I can have her try to advocate for some kind of supplementation. Yeah the first week is an absolute poo poo show. You almost get things under control in the hospital and then they release you into the wild of your own home and it all falls apart again. This is completely normal. As long as the kid is getting fed and your furnace doesn't faol everything is fine. Formula isn't free but it's like $400 for the first year it's not that expensive. We bought pre mix formula (which is by far the most expensive option) and disposable nipples and it was $1100 for the first year And yeah. The hormones. Your wife is going to say some really awful poo poo at some point just let it go. Things will calm down soon. By week six things will be extremely chill and you might even get bored. Hang in there bud  Don't be shy about asking for help. Call your mom, her mom, your sister, her sister, your buddy, definitely call your drinking buddy in about two weeks, call your dad your brother this is a good time to call in favors to go to the store to pick up more diapers or Mac & Cheese or a bottle of wine Hadlock fucked around with this message at 08:29 on Jan 20, 2024 |
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Jan 20, 2024 08:27
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The price of formula is nothing when compared to buying berries for a toddler that you're just going to put in the garbage anyway
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Jan 20, 2024 09:53
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Renegret posted:The price of formula is nothing when compared to buying berries for a toddler that you're just going to put in the garbage anyway Especially when they specifically request them (although, to be fair, he does eat an entire punnet of blueberries in one sitting)
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Jan 20, 2024 10:44
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Renegret posted:The price of formula is nothing when compared to buying berries for a toddler that you're just going to put in the garbage anyway Average basket of berries here is $6 which comes to $312 a year, goddamn That's on top of the fruit she does eat Pour one out for the thousands of my uneaten homies I bet we clear $30 a month in uneaten or half eaten chicken nuggets
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Jan 20, 2024 12:37
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What did everyone’s 6 week old eat per bottle? My son was born at just above 7.5 lbs and seemed to be eating an insane amount (to me) for a <1 month old. We’re talking like 4 ounces of breastmilk every 2 hours with a minor amount of casual spit up. Pediatrician was thrilled at his 1 month visit because his weight was in the 75-90th percentile and he was extremely chill during the exam. Lately he seems to be regressing back to what feels like a more normal amount for a 6 week old, like 2-3 ounces every 3-4 hrs or something. Overnight he probably drinks 2 ounces before falling back asleep almost immediately. I’m not that worried since he doesn’t seem to show any signs of illness or discomfort, but my wife and especially MIL are having minor panic attacks because he keeps leaving 2 ounces per bottle even though his cues are extremely obvious when he isn’t hungry anymore.
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Jan 20, 2024 12:47
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Academician Nomad posted:Well, the wife took a much lower-paying, lower-stress job than her big law lawyering. Yay! Going to be tight for the next few years, but we'll manage, and eventually the kid will grow out of daycare Congrats to her on getting out of biglaw. I did it for a year and bailed and my life got much, much better. Financial pinch aside, it's just the way to go to have any ability whatsoever to enjoy your life.
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Jan 20, 2024 14:19
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nachos posted:I’m not that worried since he doesn’t seem to show any signs of illness or discomfort, but my wife and especially MIL are having minor panic attacks because he keeps leaving 2 ounces per bottle even though his cues are extremely obvious when he isn’t hungry anymore. Their appetite seems to come and go even as they get older. If your son is still trending up in weight and size overall I wouldn't worry about it. Ask your doctor of course next time you go with him.
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Jan 20, 2024 14:51
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Hadlock posted:Formula isn't free but it's like $400 for the first year it's not that expensive. We bought pre mix formula (which is by far the most expensive option) and disposable nipples and it was $1100 for the first year Caveat - we’ve had to use alimentum for both kids and that mix adds up quickly at $13/day. It’s worth it to not have bloody diapers and fussy kids though. We got it covered through insurance for a while which took the cost to $60/month, but then they said the script was only good for 90 days and it couldn’t be reauthorized even though my kid needed it for a full year. Insurance is really great. Im going to buy so many berries once we get off formula in a few weeks.
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Jan 20, 2024 15:22
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