VictualSquid posted:

That Teflon story is part of the backstory for Portal 2, I think.


Some Pretzels with raclette cheese, cold and coagulated.

VictualSquid posted:

Some Pretzels with raclette cheese, cold and coagulated.

Flipperwaldt posted:

Why is it not a racletzel

Mr.Radar posted:

Antigravitas posted:

Vacuum sealing bread will get you raided by the Brotpolizei. Remember: Alle Cops Ahnden Brotverbrechen.

CzarChasm posted:

Remember it? I can't even pronounce it!

quote:

Sherry-Shrimp Aspic

2 envelopes unflavored gelatin
3 1/2 cups tomato juice
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1/4 cup tomato paste
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon celery powder
1 dash hot sauce
2 teaspoons dillweed
3 cups finely chopped cooked shrimp
1/2 teaspoon sherry extract
Garnish: Sliced cucubmers and melba toast

Sprinkle gelatin over tomato juice in saucepan. Place over moderate heat and stir gently until gelatin is dissolved.

Remove from heat; stir in lemon juice, tomato paste, Worcestershire sauce, celery powder, hot sauce, and dillweed. Cool and chill.

When mixture begins to jell (will be consistency of unbeaten egg whites), stir in chopped shrimp and sherry extract. Turn into lightly oiled 6 cup mold. Cover and chill until set. Unmold and garnish with sliced cucumbers and melba toast.

Yield: About 4-6 servings.


Individual Shrimp Aspics

Follow above instructions but add 1/2 tablespoon (1/2 envelope) extra gelatin to tomato juice. Pour shrimp-tomato mixture into individual fish molds or muffin tins (3″ x 2 1/2″); chill until firm; unmold and serve on salad plates garnished with watercress and dollop of imitation mayonnaise.

InediblePenguin posted:

Salad (or sallet) originally meant a bunch of ingredients served together in a bowl without having been cooked together and most commonly meant exactly the German or Midwestern notion, from the late medieval period until Americans randomly decided it would mean only lettuce with raw vegetables for some reason during the 20th century

Brawnfire posted:

I've been called silly and slutty before, myself

3D Megadoodoo posted:

CzarChasm posted:

*Willem Dafoe in Spider-man*
"You know I'm something of a dumb slut myself"

CzarChasm posted:

*Willem Dafoe in Boondock Saints*
"You know I'm something of a dumb slut myself"

quote:

It is my firm belief that man can subsist on nothing more then chili and anger.

To that end, I have decided to share my own favorite chili recipe with the lot of you, so that you may convert your shame and anger into chili and anger. In this way, I am the best humanitarian who has ever or will ever survive.

I'm going to be breaking a few sacred chili rules here. Too bad; I apologize to no one.

Ingredients:

1 & 1/2 to 2 lbs of ground PORK (perfect way to uncover jews)
2 packages of french onion soup mix (be prepared for your chili to surrender)
2 tablespoons of chili powder (less if you're a baby, more if you're a man)
4 teaspoons of ground cumin (omit this and I will devour your soul)
1 teaspoon of black pepper (slightly racist)
1/2 teaspoon of salt (or none if you're heaving a heart attack right now)
6 ejaculations (squirts) of Tabasco sauce
1 21-ounce can of red beans and 1 21-ounce can of black beans (I have a dream)
2 6-ounce cans of tomato paste with garlic (regular tomato paste = you're an rear end in a top hat)
2 8-ounce cans of tomato sauce (real men need more than just paste)
1 yellow, orange or red pepper, chopped up (green peppers are Satan's taint)
1 package of sliced mushrooms (yes, you can slice your own mushrooms, smartass)

Instructions:

Put the meat in a huge chili pot and brown it over medium heat
Add 4 cups of water and the french onion soup mix. Stir and let simmer for 10 minutes
Stir in the spices and the Tabasco and simmer for another minute or two
Add the beans, the mushrooms and the chopped pepper
Turn to low and let simmer for at least 20 minutes, 40 is better, stirring every 5-10
Call your mother and tell her she's not allowed to hug you anymore

And that's it, you're done. You just went from a pathetic, flaccid pushover to a chili-chewing boner-owner in about an hour. Your life will thank me.

Who's next? Don't even think about posting a recipe with corn in it. You should be ashamed of yourself.

RoeCocoa posted:

The Dumb Marketing Moves thread recently rediscovered this hardy perennial (spoiler tags are mine; 2011 was a bad time and Porizj a bad poster):

loose-fish posted:

I'm the 1 (one) pepper in your chili, enjoy. I guess the soup mix is mostly salt but the measly 1/2 teaspoon of salt still makes me angry.

Lipton French Onion Soup Mix posted:

Onions (Dehydrated), Salt, Corn Starch, Onion Powder, Sugar, Soy Sauce (Fermented Soybeans, Wheat and Salt), Caramel Color (Sulfites), Maltodextrin, Corn Syrup (Dehydrated), Yeast Extract, High Oleic Sunflower Oil, Disodium Guanylate, Disodium Inosinate.

RoeCocoa posted:

^

The Dumb Marketing Moves thread recently rediscovered this hardy perennial (spoiler tags are mine; 2011 was a bad time and Porizj a bad poster):

Butterfly Valley posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3406045&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1 for anyone with archives. A loving terrible thread and general style of posting with a great burn on the first page