weg posted:

the Wizard of Ozempic

Durf posted:

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Three Olives posted:

I got away but the thoughts going through my head were literally how am I going to explain how I murdered a bunch of geese because they were in a full blown attack on me.

Durf posted:

pretty sure the last sighting of Lady Maga was being screamed at by Nick Fuentes and his No Cummies Crew

https://twitter.com/willsommer/status/1337827573124960257?lang=en

Comstar posted:

Bold of you assuming you (a goon) will defeat a bunch of geese.


They would have had your head.

PKMN Trainer Red posted:

POV: I'm telling my lesbian aunt that I did not consider getting a Subaru when I bought a new car

quote:

According to Jones’ personnel file, obtained by KATV, he was placed on administrative leave in November of 2018 after the department began an internal affairs investigation, “Information has been received that Officer Jones may have violated Arkansas Criminal Law.”

Included in Jones’ file was his sexual involvement with a 17-year-old, which ultimately led to his firing.

The internal investigation, conducted by Lt. Jeff Kling, revealed that Jones lied twice during the criminal investigative interview.

It goes on to say, “He changed his story from only talking to the juvenile to having oral sex and then admitted to having full sexual relations with her.” The summary stated that Jones “lied, because he was embarrassed and scared, and then confirmed he lied twice during the interview with me.”

According to the summary, Jones “only talked with her at the gym” which is where they met – following more questioning “Officer Jones admitted to receiving oral sex from her in the parking lot of the U.S. Post Office on Military Road.”

When Lt. Kling pressed further, “Officer Jones admitted to engaging in sexual relations with the juvenile and said the oral sex took place during this episode.”

Jones told the lieutenant that the juvenile said she was 18, but added, “I knew she was too young for me, but I didn’t know she was under age.”

The person who reported this sexual relationship was not identified in these files. The reporting person indicated to police that the “male gave a fake name and said that he was employed in some fashion other than a police officer.”

The reporting person also stated that the minor told Jones she was 17 to which “he allegedly said Woo Momma when will you be eighteen.” The minor reportedly told him her birth date and he said “Well that’s too hot for me to handle,” the investigative file revealed.

It is noted that the mother of the juvenile asked that no harm come to the officer because she knew “how doggedly her daughter would pursue someone.” While the mother told Lt. Kling that she didn’t want Officer Jones to, “go to jail,” she did say he did not need to be a police officer, the investigative file states.

An internal affairs investigator found that Jones had violated the Benton Police Department Policy 105, Law Enforcement Code of Ethics. The summary did note that the Saline County Prosecutors Office declined to file criminal charges against Jones.

KATV has reached out to Jones and the governor's spokeswoman, Alexa Henning, for comment and she provided the statement below:

"Jamol bravely served our nation in the Army and protected his community as a police officer providing him with the experience and knowledge to serve on the Post-Prison Transfer Board and the Board of Corrections."

Jones also released a statement: "I did not break any laws, no charges were filed, but I made a mistake I've asked God and my families forgiveness for, and I take full responsibility for my actions. I am proud of my service to our country and our state, and the support of my wife and family."

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

MrQwerty posted:

Speaking of birds called turkeys, I was driving down the road to my dad's house after work when I was still living in the foothills of Albuquerque, about 6:45AM.

I drove up on two giant turkey vultures chowin' down on some cottontail roadkill, absolutely going to town. Both of them were at least 2½ feet tall.

The eye roll they gave me was palpable as they looked up at my car as I stopped, jumped back off the street and gave me a look like, "don't run over my breakfast, rear end in a top hat."

I drove over the rabbit and they immediately went back to business.

Those giant birds had more integrity in a feather than "TRUMP" has ever had.

Burning_Monk posted:

On a farm close to where I grew up they had a an honest to god guard turkey. The daughter had adopted it two Thanksgivings ago and she wouldnt let them kill it. So it grew big and territorial.

I think a horse size turkey would be as scary as a trex.

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Wifi Toilet posted:

This man is experiencing some very confusing feelings for the first time seeing lady maga

Shumagorath posted:

It levelled up and received the mark of Khorne.

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

loving insane

Pippin told Popular Information that she was worried that if a "5-year-old picks up this book and has never seen a picture of a penis... the parent wouldn't be able to discuss this with the child."

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

loving insane

QuarkJets posted:

"Mommy what's a butt?"

cr0y posted:

Chief McHeath posted:

You don't have to give your five year old a World History of Cocks lesson the first time they ask, it would probably be real fuckin strange if you felt that you needed to!

I mean, good god drat what the actual gently caress is wrong with these people. What is the actual diagnosis.

Troublemaker posted:

^^
There was a stir on Twitter the other day about some parent freaking out that their child's doctor wanted to talk to the kid without the parent in the room, and the replies were split between people shrieking that the doctor was going to molest their kid and the people pointing out that if the parents can't trust what their kid will tell the doctor, then they're exactly the reason the doctor needs to talk to those kids alone.

My middle son wasn't a lot older than that when I heard him talking to his little brother about his cock. When I WTF??ed him he said that he thought cock was a nicer (milder, I guess) word than dick. I told him that no, penis (the word we use in this house) was correct and the other two were considered swear words and that I thought dick was a bit less shocking than cock. So that was fun.

Years later I've only ever heard him say dick when he's swearing with his friends on Fortnite and thinks I can't hear him. And I've thought about this conversation recently for some dumb reason and wonder now if I was right. In degrees of harsh swears, is cock > dick? And where would prick fall on that graph?

Speedboat Jones posted:

https://x.com/theliamnissan/status/1753481243826516448?s=12&t=qbJ4wy7X-sfXy3DoNgBjAQ

Yesterdays Latte posted:

Makeup by Cheesasaurus Rex

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Paying bail could put you in jail

Troublemaker posted:

But where does it rank in the hierarchy??

Chief McHeath posted:

Just unbelievable that these people are so terrified they can't fathom discussing this with their children, or anyone else discussing it with their own children.

That seems like a pretty age-appropriate time to have a talk: "that's where boys go pee." That's literally all they need to know! They can find out about all the rest of the stuff it does later! You don't have to give your five year old a World History of Cocks lesson the first time they ask, it would probably be real fuckin strange if you felt that you needed to!

I mean, good god drat what the actual gently caress is wrong with these people. What is the actual diagnosis.