PYF Something Awful Legends: Page 1562 for the DarkID saga

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > PYF Something Awful Legends: Page 1562 for the DarkID saga

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16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

euroshopper posted:

My life is like a video game, trying hard to beat the stage
All while I am still collecting coins
Trying hard to save the girl, obstacles, I'm jumping hurdles
I'm growing up to be a big boy
I battle with the evil ways, I travel far and try and save
Sorry, but your princess isn't here
I take a rest, I push the pause, level up and move along
In hopes that the next stage I will clear

#we want cody

# ? Feb 4, 2024 20:29

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# ? May 27, 2024 14:57

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

this isnt the wrestlign thread..

# ? Feb 4, 2024 20:31

Leal: Oct 2, 2009

He's the angriest gamer you ever heard...

# ? Feb 4, 2024 20:43

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

Leal posted:

He's the angriest gamer you ever heard...

just learned that one avgn knock off became a serial stalker and is a wanted criminal after fleeing the country and the other was a mass shooter

# ? Feb 4, 2024 20:45

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

chris bores meanwhile talks to ghosts he's a spirit medium

# ? Feb 4, 2024 20:46

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Bores_(paranormal_investigator)

# ? Feb 4, 2024 20:46

Dixville: Nov 4, 2008; I don't think!; Ham Wrangler

euroshopper posted:

My life is like a video game, trying hard to beat the stage
All while I am still collecting coins
Trying hard to save the girl, obstacles, I'm jumping hurdles
I'm growing up to be a big boy
I battle with the evil ways, I travel far and try and save
Sorry, but your princess isn't here
I take a rest, I push the pause, level up and move along
In hopes that the next stage I will clear

Are ya winning son?

# ? Feb 4, 2024 20:52

DoctorWhat: Nov 18, 2011; A little privacy, please?

Does anyone remember that one long post about a hypothetical train derailment?

# ? Feb 4, 2024 20:56

Leal: Oct 2, 2009

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

just learned that one avgn knock off became a serial stalker and is a wanted criminal after fleeing the country

Having your roomie kick you out and be homeless, continuing to stalk a girl while making audio only reviews where you get pissed off with people who walk by you in public and cursing under your breath about how much you hate people and wish they would all just die

# ? Feb 4, 2024 21:03

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Leal posted:

He's the angriest gamer you ever heard...

I'm going to be brutally honest, I've heard much angrier gamers. I played Overwatch with voice chat on for almost two years.

# ? Feb 4, 2024 21:12

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

DoctorWhat posted:

Does anyone remember that one long post about a hypothetical train derailment?

is that the one where trace amounts of weed from a brownie were found in the driver's system and were determined to be the cause of the accident?

B4Ctom1 posted:

Pretty much this. It is hard to explain not just the physics, but the amounts of forces involved.

We use throttle to create stretching or "draft" forces and dynamic braking (think of downhill engine braking in a car) to create bunching or "buff" forces.

To start with, when you are running the train, you are feathering the throttle or dynamic braking to keep "in train forces" at acceptable levels. This is based upon the terrain each part of the train is passing over.

Even small changes in grade, if there are enough of them under the length of the train, are enough to break knuckles, rip out draw bars, or derail cars simply by doing "nothing at all" at the wrong time.

In these situations heavier applications of power or dynamic brake are required to keep these "in train forces" down.

Think of a large sliced loaf of bread. I take the wrapper off of it and ask you to carry it across the room. One hand on each end should suffice. A small amount of pressure to keep the bread from being crushed and across the room you go.

The knuckle and drawbar connections between the cars seem very strong to the layman, but when compared to the amount of weight of loaded freight cars, and all of the cars behind them piled upon it, it may as well be dental floss.

You can break dental floss easily, but the difference is that it is hard to "crush" dental floss.

The poster I have quoted above is addressing something we call "train make up". THe "in train forces" can be additionally effected by the way cars or groups of cars are placed in the train. Long cars next to short cars, loads next to empties.

Generally freight trains that are not hauling a bulk of the same commodity are mixed freight. A bulk commodity train would be an entire train of wheat or coal. These trains are very heavy, and have their own set of problems, but in general do not have any issue of train make up because all of the cars are generally the same weight and type. Mixed freight trains are the most common types of trains on the main rail thoroughfares.

A mixed freight train I haul might have 25 heavy loaded lumber cars, 15 empty or loaded auto racks, 20 empty or loaded tank cars of various lengths, 30 empty or loaded covered hopper cars of various lengths, and 30 loaded or empty boxcars of two different lengths.

So for this example train of 120 cars. Lets say it weighs 7900 tons and is 9000 feet (2.75KM) long.

I am traveling along at 50 MPH.

The "head end" of the train has passed the bottom of the grade and the train is still descending the grade. As about half of the train leaves the grade I am looking ahead at the next grade to climb directly ahead. I have been using dynamic brake and need to "transition" from braking to power. I move the lever into the idle position and begin waiting my 10 seconds. In my my mind, from experience, I know that I need to rapidly, but gently begin notching through my power notches without allowing my train to accelerate past 50 MPH which I am restricted to.

The very head of the train is traveling around a slight curvature in the track. I also need to see that the next signal is green "clear" so that I do not have to formulate an entire other plan as a reduction of speed might be required instead. I see that the signal is flashing yellow "advanced approach". This will mean a reduction of speed to 40 MPH and a possible stop short of the second signal ahead.

As I am thinking of what I am to do next and waiting for the 10 seconds to pass, the next crossing becomes visible and I see that there is a truck hauling a low slung trailer with a heavy piece of equipment on it. He is blocking the crossing because his low slung trailer is stuck on the raised rail and crossing lumber that you drive across.

Without hesitation or further consideration, I slam the brake handle into the emergency position, dumping all the trainline air. I reach up and toggle the switch that ensures that the "End Of Train" device dumps from the rear as well. I bail off the locomotive air brakes because they are so powerful in a situation like this, that they can cause such a massive buff forces which will certainly derail a train. Additionally they can crumple or destroy the track beneath them.

While in earlier transition from dynamic braking to power "slack" had developed in the train. Slack is neither draft or buff, but more of a null position like rail cars standing in a yard not connected to a train. A developed space between cars where they are sort of relaxed.

As the air dumped from the train-line, the brake valves on each car sense this emergency and dump the full value of air contained within their emergency reservoir into the large cylinder that applies the brakes giving each car higher than usual stopping power.

Somewhere near the head end of the train a group of empty tank cars having such massive braking power begin to stop the train, but right behind them a group of heavy loaded hoppers presses against them, their own braking being less substantial. A tank car of Anhydrous Ammonia right between the groups which has been taking the brunt of these two opposing forces has a wheel that lifts off the rail as it is being pressed around a curve. This car, the car ahead of it, and nine of the loaded hopper cars behind it all leave the rail and head into a tiny quiet suburb in the middle of the night.

Half way back in the train where the most of the box cars are, they settle down for their stop. Still bunched because they were still descending the hill. The heavy loads of lumber fighting them as they come to a stop. Even though on straight track the, one end of an empty boxcar in the group begins to lift into the air. The opposing force of the heavy lumber cars and the stopping train ahead of it is too much. As it sets back down the wheels miss the track and begin to erase the track, all of the cars behind it having no track to ride on begin to take paths of their own in each direction.

Near the back of the train the auto-rack settle down hard. Harder than the group of heavy lumber cars ahead of them. This causes one of the long 500+ pound (230kg) draw-bars in the third auto-rack to be sheared from place. For a moment it tumbles through space, whistling though the wind in contact with only the air. Then it strikes a tie and the car passing above it in vaulted, only inches off of the rail, and a carload of new rangerovers tumbles end over end into a reservoir of drinking water.

The drawbar is angry, propelled by its last impact it drops onto the rail for a moment derailing a load of mini coopers, a load of corvettes, a load of ford diesel pickups, and a load of prius. The last of the autoracks ram into those derailed and the drawbar impales itself through the bottom of a boxcar piercing 20 cases of aged Glenfiddich.

Back on the locomotive, pressed forward by the loads behind, we cover the half mile to the stuck trailer in about 45 seconds. My conductor sees that the piece of equipment is a D9 Caterpillar bulldozer and screams like a woman as he jumps from his window at 35 mph. The fall from 15 feet in the air certainly would have killed him but instead he tumbled and struck feet first shattering his legs in 20 places and cartwheeling to his death as his head exploded when it struck the hard granite ballast some 20 times or so in the cartwheeling tumble. It takes 24 hours for them to find his body under crumpled boxcars.

I run out the back door to the second locomotive where I lay down in the cab. The impact at 35 mph is brutal. The second locomotive which I am on climbs under the front locomotive. The third locomotive does the same to mine. When the locomotive comes to a rest, is on its side, and both my arms are broken.

I drown, face down, in 200 gallons of brownish, blueish sewage from a chemical toilet long overdue for a cleaning. But my dignity is preserved because a fire from the combined 12,000 gallons (45.5 Kiloliters) of fuel burns for 3 days incinerating me and most of the locomotives completely.

The undocumented worker driving the truck with the wedged trailer disappears.

During the conductor's autopsy, trace amounts of THC from a brownie he consumed 3 weeks earlier while on vacation in Amsterdam are found to be the cause of the accident.

It was also noted in the government report that the cellphone of an engineer on a different train following ours was "on" at the time of our impact, and this may have contributed to the wreck.

# ? Feb 4, 2024 21:36

euroshopper: Aug 14, 2021

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

#we want cody

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zq6fBkinjZc

the guy who wrote this song is a convicted felon btw

# ? Feb 4, 2024 21:36

Sleng Teng: May 3, 2009

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2YlGq-30nE

# ? Feb 4, 2024 21:44

Ibram Gaunt: Jul 22, 2009

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

chris bores meanwhile talks to ghosts he's a spirit medium

He also runs a toy unboxing channel called "Puppet Steve"

# ? Feb 4, 2024 21:49

Stux: Nov 17, 2006

Heath posted:

Play Lies of P. It kicks rear end and the gameplay is spot on to Bloodborne except instead of trick weapons you get a wacky mix-'n'-match where you can combine blades and handles freely so you can have a dagger moveset with a hammer head's strength scaling if you wanna get weird with it

never playing this

Nuns with Guns posted:

Elden Ring is good, as an execution of what DS2 wanted to be using DS3's engine. Bloodborne's aesthetics, monster design, and the transforming weapons and pistol parry mechanics all still put it above ER for me.

ds2 is exactly what it wanted to be. elden ring is nothing like ds3 bcos it has actual functional fun combat and exceptionally good boss design that presents a challenge.

# ? Feb 4, 2024 22:05

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

Nuns with Guns posted:

Elden Ring is good, as an execution of what DS2 wanted to be using DS3's engine. Bloodborne's aesthetics, monster design, and the transforming weapons and pistol parry mechanics all still put it above ER for me.

for me, the thing that i love about bloodborne's vibe is that it is the best cosmic horror game since eternal darkness, and that includes all of the attempts to directly make an h.p. lovecraft game.

# ? Feb 4, 2024 22:06

Stux: Nov 17, 2006

bb is one of the best from games but elden ring and especially sekiro blow its nuts off unfrotunately

# ? Feb 4, 2024 22:07

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

Stux posted:

bb is one of the best from games but elden ring and especially sekiro blow its nuts off unfrotunately

sekiro's on my 2024 list to beat, same with elswn rinf. but i'll be honest, i'm not super into er's aesthetic. but i definitely jive more with it than lies of p.

# ? Feb 4, 2024 22:10

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

NoiseAnnoys posted:

sekiro's on my 2024 list to beat, same with elswn rinf. but i'll be honest, i'm not super into er's aesthetic. but i definitely jive more with it than lies of p.

Beat the hidden owl fight

# ? Feb 4, 2024 22:11

Stux: Nov 17, 2006

er is one of the most beautiful and aweinspiring worlds ever put into any video game ever made. get your eyes checked mate.

# ? Feb 4, 2024 22:15

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

Stux posted:

er is one of the most beautiful and aweinspiring worlds ever put into any video game ever made. get your eyes checked mate.

i only know it from the trailer and that didn't quite hook me. it's on the list for this year, for sure though.

# ? Feb 4, 2024 22:24

Wormskull: Aug 23, 2009

Ibram Gaunt posted:

He also runs a toy unboxing channel called "Puppet Steve"

lmfa

# ? Feb 4, 2024 22:30

Half of Dracula: Oct 24, 2008; Perhaps the same could be

Elden ring does the From storytelling perfectly, they hadn't hit it just right since Dark Souls 1

# ? Feb 4, 2024 22:44

Nuns with Guns: Jul 23, 2010; It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

Stux posted:

never playing this

ds2 is exactly what it wanted to be. elden ring is nothing like ds3 bcos it has actual functional fun combat and exceptionally good boss design that presents a challenge.

I like DS2, but what we got was absolutely held back by its troubled development. It wanted a big, sprawling world to explore (which it didn't get to finish as well as I think they wanted), with a lot of interesting technical details to the combat brought out by the dual wielding system (which imo it did deliver on and that rules), and a broad spread of spells, weapons, and other toys to try out in a huge number of builds (this it did do and I wish more of the weapons and gear carried forward tbh). DS3 was fine, but I do agree that it feels like a lot of the boss design is about roll spamming real hard in a way that drags down the challenge. Elden Ring has a lot of boss fights that punish that braindead behavior.

NoiseAnnoys posted:

for me, the thing that i love about bloodborne's vibe is that it is the best cosmic horror game since eternal darkness, and that includes all of the attempts to directly make an h.p. lovecraft game.

Oh, I agree, the cosmic horror elements of Bloodborne are excellent. It has a really fascinating approach to the relationship between the Great Ones and humans.

# ? Feb 4, 2024 22:53

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

Stux posted:

ds2 is exactly what it wanted to be.

Yeah� Bad

# ? Feb 4, 2024 23:16

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

Stux posted:

never playing this

One day you will realize your error and curse yourself.

# ? Feb 4, 2024 23:24

Dandywalken: Feb 11, 2014

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Yeah… Bad

son of a......

# ? Feb 4, 2024 23:40

Stux: Nov 17, 2006

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Yeah� Bad

youre thinbking of ds3

# ? Feb 4, 2024 23:49

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

Elden ring and seikro are very good.

# ? Feb 4, 2024 23:50

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

Stux posted:

youre thinbking of ds3

I�m thinking of Dark Souls 2.

# ? Feb 4, 2024 23:58

Stux: Nov 17, 2006

ds3 checklist

1. every boss is doing ther same brain dead thing over and over to clear the entire game with zero difficulty at any point. does have the best gimmick fight of the series tho
2. no builds, everything fun has been nerfed and made dogshit for no reason.
3. bioshock infinite style coridoor you walk down world/level design
4. from clearly sick of the series and checked out, just "remember this" over and over. ds2 without ds1 could stand alone. ds3 without ds1/2 would be absolutely nothing and half of it would just be worthless bocs it only exists as a reference to a better game.
5. hosed up gwyns theme completely misunderstanding it, and then also misunderstaning the fight itself. the most unforgivable crime in all of gaming history. doing the epic movie trailer version of gwyns theme should be cause for immediate incarceration for all involved. no parole. genuinely said "gently caress off" outloud when it came on lol

# ? Feb 5, 2024 00:03

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

Stux posted:

.
3. bioshock infinite style coridoor you walk down world/level design

uggggghh thanks for reminding me about how dogshit bioshock infinite was stux.

# ? Feb 5, 2024 00:07

DoctorWhat: Nov 18, 2011; A little privacy, please?

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

is that the one where trace amounts of weed from a brownie were found in the driver's system and were determined to be the cause of the accident?

Thank you, it was exactly this.

# ? Feb 5, 2024 00:07

Hot Diggity!: Apr 3, 2010; SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF

More like Biosuck Infinite

# ? Feb 5, 2024 00:50

Autisanal Cheese: Nov 29, 2010

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

is that the one where trace amounts of weed from a brownie were found in the driver's system and were determined to be the cause of the accident?

holy poo poo

# ? Feb 5, 2024 00:50

johnny park: Sep 15, 2009

Stux posted:

ds3 checklist

1. every boss is doing ther same brain dead thing over and over to clear the entire game with zero difficulty at any point. does have the best gimmick fight of the series tho
2. no builds, everything fun has been nerfed and made dogshit for no reason.
3. bioshock infinite style coridoor you walk down world/level design
4. from clearly sick of the series and checked out, just "remember this" over and over. ds2 without ds1 could stand alone. ds3 without ds1/2 would be absolutely nothing and half of it would just be worthless bocs it only exists as a reference to a better game.
5. hosed up gwyns theme completely misunderstanding it, and then also misunderstaning the fight itself. the most unforgivable crime in all of gaming history. doing the epic movie trailer version of gwyns theme should be cause for immediate incarceration for all involved. no parole. genuinely said "gently caress off" outloud when it came on lol

itsm ore fun than dark souls 2

# ? Feb 5, 2024 00:56

johnny park: Sep 15, 2009

# ? Feb 5, 2024 00:57

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

Stux posted:

ds3 checklist

1. every boss is doing ther same brain dead thing over and over to clear the entire game with zero difficulty at any point. does have the best gimmick fight of the series tho
2. no builds, everything fun has been nerfed and made dogshit for no reason.
3. bioshock infinite style coridoor you walk down world/level design
4. from clearly sick of the series and checked out, just "remember this" over and over. ds2 without ds1 could stand alone. ds3 without ds1/2 would be absolutely nothing and half of it would just be worthless bocs it only exists as a reference to a better game.
5. hosed up gwyns theme completely misunderstanding it, and then also misunderstaning the fight itself. the most unforgivable crime in all of gaming history. doing the epic movie trailer version of gwyns theme should be cause for immediate incarceration for all involved. no parole. genuinely said "gently caress off" outloud when it came on lol

DS3 is the second worst I�ll give you that. But it�s not ugly and has some semblance of level design within the individual areas unlike DS2

# ? Feb 5, 2024 01:00

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

What they don't tell you is that it's very much finite.

# ? Feb 5, 2024 01:09

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# ? May 27, 2024 14:57

Blue Footed Booby: Oct 4, 2006; got those happy feet

Nuns with Guns posted:

Elden Ring is good, as an execution of what DS2 wanted to be using DS3's engine. Bloodborne's aesthetics, monster design, and the transforming weapons and pistol parry mechanics all still put it above ER for me.

I'm the other way around, but the world is, handily, big enough for both.

Now that I think about it, I tend to end up with different weapons in both my right hand slots, and basically playing like it's a transforming weapon lol.

Stux posted:

bb is one of the best from games but elden ring and especially sekiro blow its nuts off unfrotunately

Why unfrotunately? That means the games are getting better!

# ? Feb 5, 2024 01:14

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