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Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Edgar Allen Ho posted:

A lot of people also forget that they had the technology of “don’t kill the animal till you will eat it”

This is still how a decent portion of the meat supply chain works in China. Pigs are slaughtered in the outskirts of the city in the morning, brought to the markets, butchered, sold, you cook it that day. It's never refrigerated anywhere in the process. Works fine as long as it was actually done that day and not last week.

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3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Grand Fromage posted:

This is still how a decent portion of the meat supply chain works in China. Pigs are slaughtered in the outskirts of the city in the morning, brought to the markets, butchered, sold, you cook it that day. It's never refrigerated anywhere in the process. Works fine as long as it was actually done that day and not last week.

When I visited, in more than one restaurant you got to choose what you were going to eat while it was still alive. Like they'd have ducks walking around the garden and you went "yeah I'm gonna eat that one". Didn't see any pigs tho but I swear I heard some. Huge-rear end fish in too-small tanks was p common.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


3D Megadoodoo posted:

When I visited, in more than one restaurant you got to choose what you were going to eat while it was still alive. Like they'd have ducks walking around the garden and you went "yeah I'm gonna eat that one". Didn't see any pigs tho but I swear I heard some. Huge-rear end fish in too-small tanks was p common.

Yeah some duck and chicken places have them alive. The live fish tanks out front are common in Korea too. Easy to spot a seafood restaurant. :v:

There are trucks full of tanks that come by in the morning to deliver the fish.

cyberia
Jun 24, 2011

Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

3D Megadoodoo posted:

How the gently caress is it taking him so long to cut open the bladder?

His knife isn't sharp enough. It's probably also not something they can practice a lot so he's just winging it and trying to look like he knows what he's doing.

Jyrraeth
Aug 1, 2008

I love this dino
SOOOO MUCH

I recall reading a guide about carving a duck tableside where there's some etiquette thing where you can't spin the object around to get a better angle, so there's a weird technique for carving the opposite side of a duck for instance.

However I think that guy has a poo poo knife and not enough practice, but he's probably has to cut the bladder in such a way for a particular reveal.

F_Shit_Fitzgerald
Feb 2, 2017



Jyrraeth posted:

there's some etiquette thing where you can't spin the object around to get a better angle, so there's a weird technique for carving the opposite side of a duck for instance.

Why in gently caress is there etiquette for that, other than 'rich people are weird'? Stupid rules are meant to be broken.

hawowanlawow
Jul 27, 2009

F_Shit_Fitzgerald posted:

Why in gently caress is there etiquette for that, other than 'rich people are weird'? Stupid rules are meant to be broken.

I told them to do it that way

VictualSquid
Feb 29, 2012

Gently enveloping the target with indiscriminate love.

F_Shit_Fitzgerald posted:

Why in gently caress is there etiquette for that, other than 'rich people are weird'? Stupid rules are meant to be broken.

Fine dining comes in 2 flavours:
a) Exactly follow a manual some 19th century dude made up from thin air.
b) Disruptive food stones served inside of a plaster mouth.

F_Shit_Fitzgerald
Feb 2, 2017



hawowanlawow posted:

I told them to do it that way

:bahgawd:

I own a 1940s etiquette book that belonged to my grandmother (b. 1917). The rules in it can be divided into three categories: common sense stuff that is regularly still done, old fashioned stuff that's still done sometimes but not always, and ridiculous poo poo like "men must order for the woman at restaurants". This rule belongs safely in the third category.

F_Shit_Fitzgerald has a new favorite as of 20:02 on Feb 7, 2024

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
good ol' no-printed-prices menus for women, a thing that you would've expected to go away in the 1960s but still exists

Pookah
Aug 21, 2008

🪶Caw🪶





I have a book that's all excerpts from old etiquette books, and there was a whole thing about the Head of the Household carving the meat. You had to know exactly what you were doing to cut perfect, even slices, and you had to do it sitting down.

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
acquired another obscure 70s~ cookbook, this one labeled "NOT TO BE SOLD ANYWHERE" and every recipe has both a "hostess" and "displayer" (???)


AARD VARKMAN has a new favorite as of 20:26 on Feb 7, 2024

F_Shit_Fitzgerald
Feb 2, 2017



Gelatin covers a Multitude of Sins.

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat

3D Megadoodoo posted:

How the gently caress is it taking him so long to cut open the bladder?

What are you talking about? He cuts it open pretty fast.

uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug
Anti Food Porn/Horrible Food: A Multitude of Sins

bigman.50grand
Mar 31, 2007
no
Obviously there is a rich people art to slicing open bladders.

Too fast and piss steam simply dissipates (pissipates?) too quickly. The piss steam must flow for at least 8 seconds, but no more than 15, lest your extravagant wealth and excessiveness be compared to that of the petit bourgeoisie.

Too slow and The Help wielding serving forks and knives have time to consider their lowly station. Also, the piss steam becomes piss condensate which is uncouth.

Freaquency
May 10, 2007

"Yes I can hear you, I don't have ear cancer!"

uber_stoat posted:

Anti Food Porn/Horrible Food: A Multitude of Sins

It’s the sort of name I expect from an overpriced cocktail bar, not Marge’s gelatinous mayo mixture

dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009

uber_stoat posted:

Anti Food Porn/Horrible Food: A Multitude of Sins

Gromit
Aug 15, 2000

I am an oppressed White Male, Asian women wont serve me! Save me Campbell Newman!!!!!!!

cyberia posted:

His knife isn't sharp enough. It's probably also not something they can practice a lot so he's just winging it and trying to look like he knows what he's doing.

To be fair, if he's not careful he'll make just enough of a hole in the bladder that it will fly off around the room emitting a farty noise. And while we all want to see that, it's not great for anyone actually wanting to eat that awful looking bird.

Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻



A blast from the past.

Whooping Crabs
Apr 13, 2010

Sorry for the derail but I fuckin love me some racoons

Obnoxipus
Apr 4, 2011

What is this, a grocery store for frogs?

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

Obnoxipus posted:

What is this, a grocery store for frogs?

Those don’t look like baguettes to me

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Fish and chips casserole? :stare:

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
"better at photography than at cooking".png

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Captain Hygiene posted:

Fish and chips casserole? :stare:

Fish and chips charcuterie board?

Shooting Blanks
Jun 6, 2007

Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade



Facebook Aunt posted:

Fish and chips charcuterie board?

At least it isn't a fish and chips butter board...

Pookah
Aug 21, 2008

🪶Caw🪶





Looks like under-cooked ridge-cut oven chips, fishfingers, peas, tartar sauce and dill sprigs, for the gourmet touch. Everything looks cold and leathery.

Whooping Crabs
Apr 13, 2010

Sorry for the derail but I fuckin love me some racoons

F_Shit_Fitzgerald
Feb 2, 2017



That milk has the 'Never Go Bad' cheat activated.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Oh yeah, I forgot it was a leap leap year

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Porfiriato
Jan 4, 2016


To be honest the “dessert sauce” on the left looks, at best, marginally less dubious.

root beer
Nov 13, 2005

The “WHAM!” is because it plays “Last Christmas” when you open the jar

iRend
Jun 21, 2004

MOTHER, DID YOU eeeeeayyyyy.... ooooooaaa... ff.



NITROUS DIVISION

ah, a british HSP

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013


That looks like home bargains which is wonderful for highly dubious confectionary.

Phthisis
Apr 16, 2007

"Maybe some dolphins have sex for pleasure."
the toxic waste sour slime syrup seems like a totally acceptable vaguely fun thing for a child. I can picture myself being into that when i was like 11 or whatever.

the wham dessert sauce is definitely the curse there


also if the fish n chips tray had some kind of actual chips instead of chips, id probably be into it as some kind of lazy but fine pile of food. The potato chips are just insulting, though.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010


Phthisis posted:

also if the fish n chips tray had some kind of actual chips instead of chips, id probably be into it as some kind of lazy but fine pile of food. The potato chips are just insulting, though.
I think they're wavy-cut fries--you can see the thickness of some of them that are standing on edge.

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Phthisis
Apr 16, 2007

"Maybe some dolphins have sex for pleasure."

Hirayuki posted:

I think they're wavy-cut fries--you can see the thickness of some of them that are standing on edge.

That's what I was hoping for but I just can't believe :(

edit: actually looking closer, I'm actually not sure if they're the world's worst fries or the world's worst potato chips

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