Ukraine War: "20 months of war for a used car."

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Ukraine War: "20 months of war for a used car."

(Thread IKs: weg, Toxic Mental)

Charlz Guybon: Nov 16, 2010

OAquinas posted:

Rumor Hazzit that Russia is pursuing a nuclear ASAT program. Of course, they still have to use Roscosmos as a launch platform so the risk is minimal, but it's potentially very dangerous.

Of course, actually using such a batshit weapon would plunge the world into WW3 in a heartbeat, so it's just Yet Another Russian Vanity Project.

Looks like it might already be in orbit by this phrasing
https://twitter.com/jurgen_nauditt/status/1757864254235889981

Charlz Guybon fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Feb 15, 2024

# ? Feb 15, 2024 00:32

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# ? May 31, 2024 23:32

khwarezm: Oct 26, 2010; Deal with it.

ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:

"DO YOU SEE JAPANESE TORPEDO BOATS???"
-- Kamchatka

I've always wondered to myself, since hearing about the Dogger Bank incident, if it was actually possible for Japanese Torpedo boats to find their way to the North Atlantic and maybe the Baltic fleet had a point because to my untrained ear it sounds too insane to even comprehend.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 00:45

Vampire Panties: Apr 18, 2001; nposter; Nap Ghost

khwarezm posted:

I've always wondered to myself, since hearing about the Dogger Bank incident, if it was actually possible for Japanese Torpedo boats to find their way to the North Atlantic and maybe the Baltic fleet had a point because to my untrained ear it sounds too insane to even comprehend.

Huh, so reflexively I would say :hmmno:

no loving way, look at how far they'd have to sail

buuuuuuuut it seems like Japan bought torpedo boats from Britain and Germany circa 1895 or so. Japan had also purchased ancillary torpedo boats from Germany and France Every ship was broken up and shipped to Japan and reassembled there (which adds credence to the idea that it was simply too loving far to sail from Japan to the North Sea) but its maaaaaaaaaaybe reasonable to think that Japan purchased torpedo boats in Europe and crewed them to trench-run the mighty Russian fleet :shrug:

# ? Feb 15, 2024 01:09

weg: Jun 6, 2006; Reassisted Retrogression

Charlz Guybon posted:

Looks like it might already be in orbit by this phrasing
https://twitter.com/jurgen_nauditt/status/1757864254235889981

How would they stop the US military from sending that not so secret mini shuttle up there and loving with it?

# ? Feb 15, 2024 01:12

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

weg posted:

How would they stop the US military from sending that not so secret mini shuttle up there and loving with it?

Wonder if it already has and that's part of how they confirmed this.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 01:23

Samuel L. Hacksaw: Mar 26, 2007; Never Stop Posting

weg posted:

How would they stop the US military from sending that not so secret mini shuttle up there and loving with it?

That thing could probably just steal it. That's what it's for. Signal intelligence and straight up stealing satellites.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 01:31

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:

That thing could probably just steal it. That's what it's for. Signal intelligence and straight up stealing satellites.

Its not large enough to grab a satellite unlike the original Shuttle, but it is totally made to intercept and examine other satellites.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 01:38

TEMPLE GRANDIN OS: Dec 10, 2003; ...blyat

8 canadarms spider spaceship stealin ur orbitals lmao

# ? Feb 15, 2024 01:40

Oscar Wilde Bunch: Jun 12, 2012; Grimey Drawer

I have classified intel that suggests the new space weapon actually uses magnetorussodynamic energy to simultaneously lift your toilet and washing machine from the collective West's home and deliver it to mother Russia.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 01:41

HonorableTB: Dec 22, 2006

This is a call of duty rear end plot

# ? Feb 15, 2024 01:43

Samuel L. Hacksaw: Mar 26, 2007; Never Stop Posting

CommieGIR posted:

Its not large enough to grab a satellite unlike the original Shuttle, but it is totally made to intercept and examine other satellites.

That's fair, nukes can be pretty small but the B only has enough room for like, a dude in the bay.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 01:45

TEMPLE GRANDIN OS: Dec 10, 2003; ...blyat

how many dudes can the A fit

# ? Feb 15, 2024 02:41

Charlz Guybon: Nov 16, 2010

Not deployed yet, thankfully

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/14/...007edad90672d1b

quote:

The United States has informed Congress and its allies in Europe about Russian advances on a new, space-based nuclear weapon designed to threaten America�s extensive satellite network, according to current and former officials briefed on the matter.

Such a satellite-killing weapon, if deployed, could destroy civilian communications, surveillance from space and military command-and control operations by the United States and its allies. At the moment, the United States does not have the ability to counter such a weapon and defend its satellites, a former official said.

Officials said that the new intelligence, which they did not describe in detail, raised serious questions about whether Russia was preparing to abandon the Outer Space Treaty of 1967, which bans all orbital nuclear weapons. But since Russia does not appear close to deploying the weapon, they said, it is not considered an urgent threat.

The intelligence was made public, in part, in a cryptic announcement on Wednesday by Representative Michael R. Turner, Republican of Ohio and the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee. He called on the Biden administration to declassify the information without saying specifically what it was.

ABC News reported earlier that the intelligence had to do with Russian space-based antisatellite nuclear weaponry. Current and former officials said that the launch of the antisatellite did not appear imminent, but that there was a limited window of time, which they did not define, to prevent its deployment.

Concerns about placing nuclear weapons in space go back 50 years; it was even a sub-theme of �Star Trek� episodes in the late 1960s, just as the treaty was coming into effect. The United States experimented with versions of the technology but never deployed them. Russia has been developing its space-based capabilities for decades.

U.S. military officials have warned that both Russia and China are moving toward greater militarization of space, as all three superpowers work on ways to blind the others.

A report released last year, highlighted Russia�s development of weapons to blind other satellites but noted that Russia had refrained from using the full range of antisatellite capabilities it had developed.

Deploying a nuclear weapon in space would be a significant advancement in Russian technology and a potentially dramatic escalation. The Outer Space Treaty bans nuclear weapons in space, but Russia has been exiting many Cold War arms control treaties, seeing them as a restraint on its most important source of military power.

Mr. Turner�s statement, and his decision to share the information with others in Congress, set Washington abuzz on Wednesday about what the intelligence was.

But the statement infuriated White House officials, who feared the loss of important sources of information on Russia. While Mr. Turner has been an ally to the White House on Ukraine aid, his remarks on Wednesday became the latest flashpoint in strained relations between the Biden administration and congressional Republicans.

The intelligence was developed in recent days, and while it is important, officials said it was not a break-the-glass kind of warning of any imminent threat. But Mr. Turner urged its release.

�I am requesting that President Biden declassify all information relating to this threat so that Congress, the administration and our allies can openly discuss the actions necessary to respond to this threat,� Mr. Turner said.

His committee took the unorthodox move of voting on Monday to make the information available to all members of Congress � a step that alarmed some officials because it is not clear in what context, if any, the intelligence in the panel�s possession was presented. In a note to lawmakers, the House Intelligence Committee said the intelligence was about a �destabilizing foreign military capability.�

Capitol Hill is mired in a bitter political standoff over whether the United States should be mobilizing resources to counter Russian threats to Ukraine, a cause that most Democrats and some Republicans � including Mr. Turner � have maintained is essential to protecting U.S. national security interests. But a majority of Republican members of the House, including Speaker Mike Johnson, reject calls to put the Senate-passed foreign aid package with $60.1 billion for Ukraine to a vote on the House floor.

Former President Donald J. Trump has egged on Republican opposition, saying over the weekend that he would encourage Russia to �do whatever the hell they want� to any NATO country that had not spent enough money on its own defense.

Other officials said Mr. Turner was making more of the new intelligence than would ordinarily have been expected, perhaps to create pressure to prod the House to take up the supplemental funding request for Ukraine that the Senate passed this week.

That measure, providing military aid to Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan, faces an uncertain prospect in the House. While many Republicans oppose additional funding, Mr. Turner is an outspoken advocate of more assistance to Ukraine and recently visited Kyiv, the capital.

Shortly after Mr. Turner�s announcement, Jake Sullivan, the national security adviser, entered the White House press room to discuss the importance of continued funding for Ukraine�s military.

But Mr. Sullivan declined to address a reporter�s question about the substance of Mr. Turner�s announcement, saying only that he was set to meet with the chairman on Thursday.

�We scheduled a briefing for the House members of the Gang of Eight tomorrow,� Mr. Sullivan said, referring to a group of congressional leaders from both parties. �That�s been on the books. So I am a bit surprised that Congressman Turner came out publicly today in advance of a meeting on the books for me to go sit with him alongside our intelligence and defense professionals tomorrow.�

Representative Jim Himes, Democrat of Connecticut and the ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee, said that the issue was �serious� and that Mr. Turner was right to focus on it. But he added that the threat was �not going to ruin your Thursday.�

Senator Mark Warner, Democrat of Virginia, and Senator Marco Rubio, Republican of Florida, said in a joint statement that the Senate Intelligence Committee had been tracking the issue from the start and had been discussing a response with the Biden administration. But the lawmakers said that releasing information about the intelligence could expose the methods of collection.

At the White House, when Mr. Sullivan was asked whether he could tell Americans that there was nothing to worry about, he replied that it was �impossible to answer with a straight �yes.��

�Americans understand that there are a range of threats and challenges in the world that we�re dealing with every single day, and those threats and challenges range from terrorism to state actors,� Mr. Sullivan said. �And we have to contend with them, and we have to contend with them in a way where we ensure the ultimate security of the American people. I am confident that President Biden, in the decisions that he is taking, is going to ensure the security of the American people going forward.�

Mr. Turner declined to respond to questions on Wednesday. Jason Crow, Democrat of Colorado, said the new intelligence was one of several �volatile threats� facing the United States.

�This is something that requires our attention,� Mr. Crow said. �There�s no doubt. It�s not an immediate crisis, but certainly something that we have to be very serious about.�

Mr. Johnson, apparently trying to spread calm after Mr. Turner�s announcement, said there was �no need for public alarm.�

�We are going to work together to address this matter,� he said.

The Outer Space Treaty was one of the first major arms control treaties negotiated between the United States and the Soviet Union, and one of the last remaining in place.

If Russia exited the space treaty, and let the New START treaty limiting strategic nuclear weapons expire in February 2026 � as seems likely � it could touch off a new arms race, of the kind not seen since the depths of the Cold War.

�Ending the Space Treaty could open the floodgates for other countries to put nuclear weapons in space as well,� said Steven Andreasen, a nuclear expert at the Humphrey School of Public Affairs in Minneapolis. �Once you have orbital nuclear weapons, you can use them for more than taking out satellites.�

Erica L. Green, Luke Broadwater and Glenn Thrush contributed reporting from Washington.

Charlz Guybon fucked around with this message at 03:52 on Feb 15, 2024

# ? Feb 15, 2024 03:37

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

A nuke exploding in space is a threat to 1 satellite. Giant yawn.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:25

shadow puppet of a: Jan 10, 2007; NO TENGO SCORPIO

Clearly the US needs to respond by once again releasing a trillion small copper needles into earth orbit.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:37

Zero VGS: Aug 16, 2002; ASK ME ABOUT HOW HUMAN LIVES THAT MADE VIDEO GAME CONTROLLERS ARE WORTH MORE; Lipstick Apathy

Prettz posted:

A nuke exploding in space is a threat to 1 satellite. Giant yawn.

It's it gonna blow fragments of everything all across orbit at turbo speed, causing a chain reaction like in the hit movie Gravity?

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:40

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

The black sea fleet is meaningless. This is a land war. men are made at the front. Through the fires of glorious combat

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:56

wilderthanmild: Jun 21, 2010; Posting shit; Grimey Drawer

Zero VGS posted:

It's it gonna blow fragments of everything all across orbit at turbo speed, causing a chain reaction like in the hit movie Gravity?

A nuke would wildly change the orbits of these fragments in all kinds of directions. You'd have bits deorbiting, stuff on escape velocity away from earth, and lots of bits on wild elliptical orbits where they cross the orbits we actually do only very very rarely. I don't think this would even cause a significantly increased risk if they nuked the ISS, which would create a lot more debris than any satellite.

I think the real danger from this is that nukes in space in general is a dangerous escalation we all decided against like 40 years ago and putting it back on the table is scary.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 05:07

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Zero VGS posted:

It's it gonna blow fragments of everything all across orbit at turbo speed, causing a chain reaction like in the hit movie Gravity?

No. That has nothing to do with being a nuke, and a nuke would greatly reduce debris. What russia is saying is that the accuracy of their missiles is so bad they have to rely on a nuke to take out the target. The US and China have, ages ago, demonstrated the ability to hit a satellite directly. In fact, a bunch of all space debris is from China hitting one of their own satellites as a show of force.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 05:31

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

Prettz posted:

A nuke exploding in space is a threat to 1 satellite. Giant yawn.

But all the radiation!

# ? Feb 15, 2024 05:35

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Sweaty IT Nerd posted:

But all the radiation!

just stay away from the space water and youre fine

# ? Feb 15, 2024 05:52

Tsyni: Sep 1, 2004; Lipstick Apathy

At this point I expect that Ukraine already has space drones ready to destroy any of Russia's space assets.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 06:31

zone: Dec 6, 2016

https://twitter.com/wartranslated/status/1757901745475268869#m
:dukedog:

# ? Feb 15, 2024 06:54

RBA-Wintrow: Nov 4, 2009; Clapping Larry

HonorableTB posted:

This has historically been the case. For some big lols look up what happened in the Russo-Japanese War of 1904-1905 and follow the adventures of the Baltic Fleet.

Bluejay has a funny video about that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzGqp3R4Mx4

# ? Feb 15, 2024 06:58

Horsebanger: Jun 25, 2009; Steering wheel! Hey! Steering wheel! Someone tell him to give it to me!

Oscar Wilde Bunch posted:

I have classified intel that suggests the new space weapon actually uses magnetorussodynamic energy to simultaneously lift your toilet and washing machine from the collective West's home and deliver it to mother Russia.

Lifting garbage was a Soviet power in red alert 3, as was dumping it from orbit

# ? Feb 15, 2024 07:17

Der Kyhe: Jun 25, 2008

Spending money on nuclear-armed satellites instead of on actual weapons? Some Charlie Chaplin-looking motherfucker just called and wanted his super artillery, rocket-powered interceptors, land-cruisers and missile program back.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 07:21

Budzilla: Oct 14, 2007; We can all learn from our past mistakes.

A nuke in space is bad. Look up Starfish Prime.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 07:53

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Zero VGS posted:

It's it gonna blow fragments of everything all across orbit at turbo speed, causing a chain reaction like in the hit movie Gravity?

I for one welcome the new dark ages

# ? Feb 15, 2024 07:55

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Budzilla posted:

A nuke in space is bad. Look up Starfish Prime.

Counterpoint: a nuke is how Bruce Willis saved earth from an asteroid

# ? Feb 15, 2024 07:56

Tarquinn: Jul 3, 2007; I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you
my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal.; Hell Gem

Budzilla posted:

A nuke in space is bad. Look up Starfish Prime.

Or watch the 90�s documentary �Golden Eye�.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 07:59

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

steinrokkan posted:

Counterpoint: a nuke is how Bruce Willis saved earth from an asteroid

counter counterpoint, a nuke in space killed the iron giant so it's bad.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 08:01

spankmeister: Jun 15, 2008

Superman took all the nukes in the world and put them into space and it was fine

# ? Feb 15, 2024 08:06

zone: Dec 6, 2016

Monke got angry because his landing ship and fuel reservoirs got sunk and burned respectively, so he ordered a revenge attack with missiles. Civilian infrastructure and houses were hit, and there are wounded and killed. Lviv suffered the most in the attack.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 08:17

Shaman Tank Spec: Dec 26, 2003; *blep*

HonorableTB posted:

This has historically been the case. For some big lols look up what happened in the Russo-Japanese War of 1904-1905 and follow the adventures of the Baltic Fleet.

https://soundcloud.com/user-798629330/episode-121-russo-japanese-war-part-3-the-voyage-of-the-damned

But yes, the "traditions of the Russian navy" are a joke. Just as a small tidbit, around the first half of the century when every other major power and even the wannabe major powers were cranking out ships like crazy, Russia was limited to buying ships from others. Why is this?

Well, for one, they could not make the kind of steel needed to create hulls for anything bigger than a small torpedo boat. Literally could not. For another thing, they could not make the gun barrels for anything bigger than a destroyer / light cruiser caliber gun.

One of the biggest nations in the world and they could not make anything bigger than a loving torpedo boat.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 08:30

Cable Guy: Jul 18, 2005; I don't expect any trouble, but we'll be handing these out later...; Slippery Tilde

CoffeeQaddaffi posted:

The last sub, 380, has been scrapped also. In fact it looks like it was the last Tango.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 08:41

Budzilla: Oct 14, 2007; We can all learn from our past mistakes.

steinrokkan posted:

Counterpoint: a nuke is how Bruce Willis saved earth from an asteroid

Armageddon^TM is worse than the Biblical Armageddon.

Tarquinn posted:

Or watch the 90�s documentary �Golden Eye�.

I recently played though some 90s spy pulp. "Spycraft: The Great Game", a FMV game from my teen years. Funny how the Russians were friends but there was a lot of internal Russian fuckery going on, especially when you had to find the nuke buyer. Fun fact: Former CIA director(Colby) collaborated with the highest level KGB defector(Kalugin) in producing the game. Kalugin has a brief cameo but Colby is in the game for a decent amount.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 08:41

appropriatemetaphor: Jan 26, 2006

HonorableTB posted:

This has historically been the case. For some big lols look up what happened in the Russo-Japanese War of 1904-1905 and follow the adventures of the Baltic Fleet.

And here's a third video/podcast:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Mdi_Fh9_Ag

# ? Feb 15, 2024 08:48

Charlz Guybon: Nov 16, 2010

HonorableTB posted:

This has historically been the case. For some big lols look up what happened in the Russo-Japanese War of 1904-1905 and follow the adventures of the Baltic Fleet.

It's amazing that their terrible marksmanship is all that prevented them from sinking more British fishing boats and killing enough people that Britain would have been forced to sink their fleet.

Also good luck that were no British naval vessels in the vacinity to go to fishing ships defense.

Edit: A more unknown near disaster, was a Russian admiral's attempt to first stirke the Swedish fleet at the beginning of WWI. He couldn't find it though, and once the Russian government figured out what he was up to he was made to turn back. Obviously, given how the war turned out, adding an other front to Russia's plate would have put a lot of strain on them. If they collapse six months earlier that could change things a lot.

Charlz Guybon fucked around with this message at 09:17 on Feb 15, 2024

# ? Feb 15, 2024 09:05

zone: Dec 6, 2016

https://twitter.com/NOELreports/status/1758052465562313161#m
Goddammit Dimitri, what did I tell you about cigarettes?

# ? Feb 15, 2024 10:19

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# ? May 31, 2024 23:32

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

zone posted:

https://twitter.com/NOELreports/status/1758052465562313161#m
Goddammit Dimitri, what did I tell you about cigarettes?

Video is clearly fake, as no-one can be heard cursing.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 10:31

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