UFOs are real

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Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

It's been a week since anything has dropped in this thread.

*banging fork and knives on table*

I WANT DISCLOSURE

Oh wait, what's this?

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/jan/27/sean-kirkpatrick-pentagon-ufo-conspiracy-theory-myths

quote:

Conspiracy theorists working for and within the US government are perpetuating myths about UFOs that millions of taxpayer dollars are then spent looking into, a �self-licking ice cream cone�, according to the Pentagon�s former chief investigator of unidentified anomalous phenomena (UAP).

Sean Kirkpatrick made the claim in a podcast this week after stepping down last month as the first director of the defense department�s all-domain anomaly resolution office (Aaro). It was set up in 2022 to collate military reports of UAP sightings and to be more transparent about what the government knows.

Scott Bray, deputy director of naval intelligence, plays a video of unidentified aerial phenomena during a House intelligence committee hearing in May 2022.
US Congress passes stripped-down measure to release UFO records

Aaro�s first comprehensive historical record report, which has been submitted to Congress and is set for publication later this year, contains no evidence of the existence of alien life, or any government cover-up, Kirkpatrick says.

But many lawmakers, he insists, are only too happy to embrace unsubstantiated stories circulated by �a core group of people� about secret government UFO research programs. Those include startling claims from the former US intelligence official and whistleblower David Grusch last year about intact alien vehicles and non-human �biologics�, or biological matter, stored at a remote facility.

�They�re some of the same people that have been working behind the scenes with Congress to write legislation,� Kirkpatrick told the In the Room With Peter Bergen podcast.

�They�re the same people that worked with a US company and the US army to explore a piece of material that they claim was a UAP and really is a piece of missile casing from the 1950s. They�re the same people that have been influencing some of these whistleblowers who have come forward to say: �Hey, I don�t have any first-hand evidence, but all these people are telling me this.��

Kirkpatrick declined to identify the people by name, but agreed with Bergen�s observation that �the actual conspiracy is being carried out by a group of true believers themselves to get the government involved in the business of investigating aliens�.

�That is a self-licking ice cream cone, exactly,� Kirkpatrick said. �The best thing that could have happened in this job is I found the aliens, and I could have rolled them out, but there�s none. There is no evidence of extraterrestrials. There is no evidence of aliens, and there�s no evidence of the government conspiracy.�

Kirkpatrick said in a resignation essay published by Scientific American last week that he feared lawmakers had succumbed to �conspiracy-driven decision-making� and sensationalism in their rush to �uncover the cover-up�.

�Worrisome is the willingness of some to make judgments and take actions on these stories without having seen or even requested supporting evidence, an omission that is all the more problematic when the claims are so extraordinary,� he wrote.

�Some members of Congress prefer to opine about aliens to the press rather than get an evidence-based briefing on the matter. Members have a responsibility to exhibit critical-thinking skills instead of seeking the spotlight.�

His frustration was apparent in his conversation with Bergen. He said his department�s mission to use a �rigorous scientific framework and a data-driven approach� to collate and evaluate UFO reports and sightings going back decades had been hampered by misrepresentations, half-truths and other snippets of misinformation from unreliable sources.

�You�ve got people that talk to people who come in to tell the story, or tell the media, and other people come in, but it turns out none of them have any first-hand evidence or knowledge,� Kirkpatrick said.

�They�re all relaying stories that they�ve heard from other people. And if you track where all those people know each other, it all goes back to the same core group of people.�

What his team was able to deduce, Kirkpatrick said, was that at least 90% of recorded UFO sightings, including some videos of military encounters declassified by the Pentagon in recent years, have a perfectly logical explanation.

�When you dig into those kinds of observations, and we had hundreds, you go back and work with the pilot, you work with the sensor, and you reconstruct the entire engagement, nine times out of 10 or more that turns into an optical illusion that we call parallax,� he said.

�Most of the times when we can�t give an explanation, it is because there is a lack of data, and by that I mean consistent, solid, recorded data that you can put into a computer and you can do analysis on.�

Even so, Kirkpatrick said, there are those unlikely to ever accept scientific explanations.

�There is absolutely nothing that I�m going to do, say or produce evidentially that is going to make the true believers convert,� he said.

�It is basically a religion, a religious belief that transcends critical thinking and rational thought.�

# ? Feb 9, 2024 16:58

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 13:37

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

So did they find the aliens?

# ? Feb 9, 2024 16:59

naem: May 29, 2011

the real aliens are the friends we made along the way

# ? Feb 9, 2024 17:23

Brain Curry: Feb 15, 2007; People think that I'm lazy
People think that I'm this fool because
I give a fuck about the government
I didn't graduate from high school

Mulaney Power Move posted:

It's been a week since anything has dropped in this thread.

*banging fork and knives on table*

I WANT DISCLOSURE

Oh wait, what's this?

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/jan/27/sean-kirkpatrick-pentagon-ufo-conspiracy-theory-myths

Notice he doesn�t deny non-human intelligence, just aliens. Intelligent squid and time-traveling humans still on the menu

# ? Feb 9, 2024 17:29

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

And they're spending millions of taxpayer dollars to develop self-licking ice cream cone technologies, which could very well be the source of the jellyfish UAPs.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 17:47

Jamsque: May 31, 2009

I heard that the aliens have self-licking buttholes and that is why they are too busy to visit earth

# ? Feb 9, 2024 22:31

Doctor Dogballs: Apr 1, 2007; driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

on the contrary, that would explain the infamous Brown Starfish UAP

# ? Feb 10, 2024 00:02

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

UFO Truthers: We demand to know about the Government's alien conspiracy!

Officials: Wackjobs and grifters have infiltrated the government and are spreading false information about the existence of aliens.

UFO Truthers: No! Not like that!

# ? Feb 10, 2024 00:16

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

life on earth: 14 billion years old
the universe:36 billion years old.
should we look for intelligent life? Yes of course.
Are we going to find it? Probably not

# ? Feb 10, 2024 02:15

020924_2: Feb 10, 2024

Extinct by mere presence of

# ? Feb 10, 2024 02:28

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

020924_2 posted:

Extinct by mere presence of

elaborate please

# ? Feb 10, 2024 02:29

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

life on earth: 14 billion years old
the universe:36 billion years old.
should we look for intelligent life? Yes of course.
Are we going to find it? Probably not

Isn't the universe still generally considered to be about 13.7-13.8'ish billion years old?
And life on earth being about 3.7 billion years, with earth being about 4.5 billion?

Hey, for any of that to work... you must be an alien from the future! Neat.

You wouldn't happen to have next weeks lotto numbers would ya?

# ? Feb 12, 2024 13:03

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

dr_rat posted:

Isn't the universe still generally considered to be about 13.7-13.8'ish billion years old?
And life on earth being about 3.7 billion years, with earth being about 4.5 billion?

Hey, for any of that to work... you must be an alien from the future! Neat.

You wouldn't happen to have next weeks lotto numbers would ya?

yes, those post dates are nonsense

# ? Feb 12, 2024 14:05

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Yeah, so if Mumpy Puffinz is an alien from the future do we just close the thread or what?

I mean thread succeeded. Jobs done. yay!

# ? Feb 12, 2024 14:14

XYZAB: Jun 29, 2003; HNNNNNGG!!

Kids In The Hall alum Dave Foley has a UFO podcast now and keeps popping up in random UFO related stuff. He really knows his poo poo and seems pretty level-headed about it all as well, which is a relief.

# ? Feb 13, 2024 03:45

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

XYZAB posted:

Kids In The Hall alum Dave Foley has a UFO podcast now and keeps popping up in random UFO related stuff. He really knows his poo poo and seems pretty level-headed about it all as well, which is a relief.

Also Rhys Darby (of Our Flag Means Death, What We Do In The Shadows, Flight Of The Conchords, etc etc) has been co-hosting a podcast about weird poo poo like cryptids and UFOs since 2008: https://audioboom.com/channels/4961702-the-cryptid-factor

# ? Feb 13, 2024 07:03

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

New video proof of alien life:

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_s8ke2ezCpn1yk4k9o_720.mp4

# ? Feb 19, 2024 05:36

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

Good lord what is happening in there

They need to declassify these research installations immediately

# ? Feb 19, 2024 05:47

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Facebook Aunt posted:

New video proof of alien life:

Why isn't the alien Muppet singing.

# ? Feb 19, 2024 05:55

Regular Wario: Mar 27, 2010; Slippery Tilde

# ? Feb 19, 2024 06:42

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Ah good, another alien invasion successfully stopped.

# ? Feb 19, 2024 06:57

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

I had my recurring UFO apacolypse dream again. The sky is all glitched out and full of strange anomalies. Stars dancing around, swirls everywhere, black holes opening up, clouds moving fast and turning into dark malevolent entities that rain destruction down upon the earth. Emergency broadcast tone. Then I crash a car into a canal. Never any actual aliens. Just UFOs chasing me into a canal in South Florida. I need to stop eating cheese before bed time.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:04

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Mulaney Power Move posted:

I need to stop eating cheese before bed time.

What so you'll stop being able to foretell the future!!!

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:08

Regular Wario: Mar 27, 2010; Slippery Tilde

can i have your alien communication cheese?

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:11

Linux Pirate: Apr 21, 2012

Mulaney Power Move posted:

I had my recurring UFO apacolypse dream again. The sky is all glitched out and full of strange anomalies. Stars dancing around, swirls everywhere, black holes opening up, clouds moving fast and turning into dark malevolent entities that rain destruction down upon the earth. Emergency broadcast tone. Then I crash a car into a canal. Never any actual aliens. Just UFOs chasing me into a canal in South Florida. I need to stop eating cheese before bed time.

Eat more cheese before bed. Cheese is a natural alien repellent. Why do you think they mutilate cows?

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:12

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

The weird thing is this time I woke up twice and went back to sleep and the dream started again from the beginning but I realized it so I kept trying to warn people of what was happening.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:19

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

Mulaney Power Move posted:

I had my recurring UFO apacolypse dream again. The sky is all glitched out and full of strange anomalies. Stars dancing around, swirls everywhere, black holes opening up, clouds moving fast and turning into dark malevolent entities that rain destruction down upon the earth. Emergency broadcast tone. Then I crash a car into a canal. Never any actual aliens. Just UFOs chasing me into a canal in South Florida. I need to stop eating cheese before bed time.

Those old rarebit fiend comics got even more super hosed up a century later

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:25

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

I also have a recurring dream that I'm making a sandwich, which also seems to unfold in waking life. The vision becomes reality.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:25

temple: Jul 29, 2006; I have actual skeletons in my closet

Mulaney Power Move posted:

I had my recurring UFO apacolypse dream again. The sky is all glitched out and full of strange anomalies. Stars dancing around, swirls everywhere, black holes opening up, clouds moving fast and turning into dark malevolent entities that rain destruction down upon the earth. Emergency broadcast tone. Then I crash a car into a canal. Never any actual aliens. Just UFOs chasing me into a canal in South Florida. I need to stop eating cheese before bed time.

I had a dream a couple of weeks ago where I was relaxing in a coffee shop type place. Some people came in but they weren't people, they were like aliens from the future but they looked like people. They were going to bring world peace and I was a part of it. They said I had the power to time travel too and would be a part of bringing harmony. I was worried about what that meant and what I'd have to do but they were like it was already in motion and I'd know what to do when the time came. Then we smoked some space weed and I could feel the world unity energy building up. Probably would be a top cool dream when I was younger but still cool now.

edit: and they were playing vampire weekend and strfkr

temple fucked around with this message at 04:04 on Feb 20, 2024

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:50

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

Wonder when these fuckin aliens are gonna come out already

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:55

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

I think they're trans dimensional.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:56

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

SniperWoreConverse posted:

Those old rarebit fiend comics got even more super hosed up a century later

Dammit, half an hour late to make this joke :argh:

# ? Feb 20, 2024 04:09

SonOfGhostDad: Nov 16, 2022

All the alien stuff is a smokescreen to hide the fact that UAPs are, in fact, biblically accurate angels and they gently caress

# ? Feb 20, 2024 05:44

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

I had a dream a while ago a godzilla size bigfoot stolled into a major city and really just wrecked the place up for like six hours. There wasn't a single skyscraper left standing. And despite all these people taking photos and videos, and all the news being there all the footage of godzilla sized bigfoot was blurry. Then as quickly as he came, bigfoot just left strolled off into the myst and seemed to just disappear. Taken into the myst.

Anyway like three days after the dream that actually all happened and hundreds of thousands died, super tragic. Like I said you all need to be taking you dream premonitions far more seriously!!!

# ? Feb 20, 2024 07:51

Bug Squash: Mar 18, 2009

dr_rat posted:

godzilla size bigfoot

That's just King Kong

# ? Feb 20, 2024 08:06

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Bug Squash posted:

That's just King Kong

King kong is very clearly gorilla adjacent, while Bigfoot is obviously closer related to the homo sapiens side of the great apes family tree!

Do they teach people nothing in school these days!!!

# ? Feb 20, 2024 08:22

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Bug Squash posted:

That's just King Kong

This is hominid racism

# ? Feb 20, 2024 08:30

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Bug Squash posted:

That's just King Kong

Guess they all look alike to you Big Squash.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 14:02

temple: Jul 29, 2006; I have actual skeletons in my closet

Mick "Wicked" West interviewed a navy guy that believes "gimbal" was a true ufo with unearthly capabilities. They argue over if the video is non-human craft or "could've been a plane".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbTh4bX0dYw

The navy guy used his govt brain to unredact a redacted memo leaked by Lou Elizondo. Peak "trust me, bro"

Mick pulled out the flashlight trick is he fond to do in videos

Then he brought on some raytheon navy guy that worked on sensor systems like this and he clarified that, in fact, "it could've been a plane".

temple fucked around with this message at 05:08 on Feb 22, 2024

# ? Feb 22, 2024 02:39

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 13:37

The Bible: May 8, 2010

temple posted:

Mick "Wicked" West interviewed a navy guy that believes "gimbal" was a true ufo with unearthly capabilities. They argue over if the video is non-human craft or "could've been a plane".

Then he brought on some raytheon navy guy that worked on sensor systems like this and he clarified that, in fact, "it could've been a plane".

Ah, but you see? 50/50 chance. It was either an alien spaceship, or it wasn't.

:colbert:

# ? Feb 22, 2024 03:59

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