Post the worst pizza ever in this thread: No Gods, No Mestres

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Post the worst pizza ever in this thread: No Gods, No Mestres

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Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

i feel the way to do it would be to make the crust more like naan or something and keep the toppings on the top

# ? Feb 20, 2024 02:10

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# ? May 27, 2024 06:06

Philthy: Jan 28, 2003; Pillbug

bubbles in the crust are crunchy awesome

but a big bubble you cant even eat is stupid

# ? Feb 20, 2024 02:15

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

I mean if you could somehow combine chhole bhatura and pizza, buddy

# ? Feb 20, 2024 02:45

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:04

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

You have my attention

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:07

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

Surely science can devise something better than human breath to create the pizza bubbles

# ? Feb 20, 2024 03:09

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

SlothfulCobra posted:

But then it's black (presumably charcoal, squid ink would be darker),

It's almost a normal pizza dough color before it goes in, though.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 12:31

Nettle Soup: Jan 30, 2010; Oh, and Jones was there too.

Cartoon Man posted:

Has this ever happened to you? If so, you may be entitled to compensation!

# ? Feb 20, 2024 13:06

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

gore

# ? Feb 20, 2024 13:10

Upsidads: Jan 11, 2007; Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates

How much acne cream for a Zittza?

# ? Feb 20, 2024 14:20

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Cartoon Man posted:

gore

Um, did god just smite that pizza?

# ? Feb 20, 2024 14:30

pygmy tyrant: Nov 25, 2005; *not a small business owner

I don't think you should be allowed to call a calzone a pizza no matter how much you mangle the top with scissors

# ? Feb 20, 2024 16:04

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

Cartoon Man posted:

gore

Hitting the button for 10,000 hours that's right next to the Pizza setting

# ? Feb 20, 2024 16:27

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

pygmy tyrant posted:

I don't think you should be allowed to call a calzone a pizza no matter how much you mangle the top with scissors

# ? Feb 20, 2024 16:28

Myron Baloney: Mar 19, 2002; Emitting dimensions are swallowing you

Philthy posted:

Tartar Sauce, Mozzarella, Beer battered Tilapia, French fries, Coleslaw.

Haven't tried it yet. This could go either way. Their mac n cheese pizza is amazing.

They're just punching themselves in the face saying "fish fry" and "tilapia" in the same sentence in Wisconsin. Sad!

# ? Feb 20, 2024 19:50

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

Should be walleye, no?

# ? Feb 20, 2024 20:35

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Dokapon Findom posted:

Should be walleye, no?

Walleye, perch, bluegill, or cod generally. Catfish if you're (I'm) lucky but that's not standard.

Not once have I seen tilapia at a fish fry. That's bizarre.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 20:43

bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

walleye costs like $5-20 per pound depending upon quality wholesale, catfish costs $3-4, tilapia costs $2

price is so variable because of seasonality in caught fish, but tilapia's mostly farmed, too

# ? Feb 20, 2024 20:45

emSparkly: Nov 21, 2022; I'm open to interpretation!

Tilapia is like the Taco Bell beef of fish.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 21:17

Myron Baloney: Mar 19, 2002; Emitting dimensions are swallowing you

Tilapia is okay as a basic food product, I'll buy it once in a while for uses where I can overpower it with other flavors, but to be a restaurant and go lower on the fish fry price tree than cheap alaskan cod seems almost troll-level to me, especially since there's probably only 4-6 ounces of it on a pizza. Mrs Paul's fish sticks would probably taste better.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 22:10

bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

its fuckin pizza, its not haute cuisine

# ? Feb 20, 2024 22:17

Myron Baloney: Mar 19, 2002; Emitting dimensions are swallowing you

bob dobbs is dead posted:

its fuckin pizza, its not haute cuisine

You're right, and fish and chips aren't an expensive meal either. How many chip shops in the UK do you think sell tilapia or Swai? Mess with food expectations, especially with cheap food, where tastes are a certain way and you'll fail. That's largely what this thread documents.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 22:46

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Honestly, almost all pics I've seen of UK fish and chips look like absolute trash. Just a big plate of fried beige. And steak fries are the worst fries by far.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 22:55

Roundup Ready: Mar 10, 2004; ACCIDENTAL SHIT POSTER

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Honestly, almost all pics I've seen of UK fish and chips look like absolute trash. Just a big plate of fried beige. And steak fries are the worst fries by far.

Their chips might look like garbage steak fries we're used to in the US, but well made, triple fried chips kick rear end. I was on your side until I actually had them.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 23:03

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Roundup Ready posted:

Their chips might look like garbage steak fries we're used to in the US, but well made, triple fried chips kick rear end. I was on your side until I actually had them.

That's fair. If I ever go to the UK (hopefully one day) I'll definitely have to have their fish and chips. I'm spoiled here in Wisconsin with the Friday Fish Fry. I've definitely had not-so-good ones before though.

I'm only basing it off of pictures of course but I'd love to try it sometime!

# ? Feb 20, 2024 23:10

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

Total barf

# ? Feb 21, 2024 00:33

other people: Jun 27, 2004; Associate Christ

Pennywise the Frown posted:

That's fair. If I ever go to the UK (hopefully one day) I'll definitely have to have their fish and chips. I'm spoiled here in Wisconsin with the Friday Fish Fry. I've definitely had not-so-good ones before though.

I'm only basing it off of pictures of course but I'd love to try it sometime!

Spoiled in Wisconsin

# ? Feb 21, 2024 00:34

Martman: Nov 20, 2006; Can't post for 22 minutes!

Cartoon Man posted:

Total barf

I'd eat it, I just wish they didn't pretend it was pizza

# ? Feb 21, 2024 00:53

don longjohns: Mar 2, 2012

I know that the cooking process would mean that the spit sprayed into the pizza doesn't really impact the hygiene of it, but I cannot get over the ick factor of that. I started watching and couldn't see them blowing into the pizza right away, and felt this mounting dread as I realized that yes, they are blowing the pizza bubble with their mouth on a tube 🤮

I actually think squid ink could be good in pizza dough, but my favorite pizza is anchovy pizza so I, at the very least, should not breed.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 01:50

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

The Maillard reaction is illegal in the UK that�s why their chips suck

# ? Feb 21, 2024 03:24

nesamdoom: Apr 15, 2018; nesaM kiled Masen

Hand pumps are a thing, no need to spit into a pizza

# ? Feb 21, 2024 05:10

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

nesamdoom posted:

Hand pumps are a thing, no need to spit into a pizza

Stop trying to cramp my style

# ? Feb 21, 2024 05:12

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

down in South America they make booze by swishing it around in their mouths. don't judge.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 05:18

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

uber_stoat posted:

down in South America they make booze by swishing it around in their mouths. don't judge.

Hey, same with the traditional way of making Kava in the pacific!

# ? Feb 21, 2024 05:25

Hatebag: Jun 17, 2008

Cartoon Man posted:

Total barf

oh. it's a peazza. I'd eat it, gently caress your god

# ? Feb 21, 2024 05:26

Regular Wario: Mar 27, 2010; Slippery Tilde

salt and vinegar crusty bread sounds delicious

# ? Feb 21, 2024 05:34

zone: Dec 6, 2016

Cartoon Man posted:

Total barf

Some ideas should have stayed at the bottom of the beer bottles they were spawned from :barf:

# ? Feb 21, 2024 05:49

Scarodactyl: Oct 22, 2015

Tilapia frequently has that gross freshwater algae taste but swai tastes consistently great to me.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 06:03

Philthy: Jan 28, 2003; Pillbug

Half my family is in the UK, and the other half is here in Wisconsin. Fish n Chips in the UK are different that the ones I always had came wrapped in a newspaper funnel doused in salt and vinegar. They're really good. Steak fries are also best fries, they sop up the vinegar and salt so good.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 07:13

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# ? May 27, 2024 06:06

davidspackage: May 16, 2007; Nap Ghost

Cartoon Man posted:

Total barf

I've never tried it, but mushy peas sounds like literal baby food.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 07:16

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Post the worst pizza ever in this thread: No Gods, No Mestres

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