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"Would you mind taking this totally optional, unnecessary medication that can have nasty side-effects so we'll allow you an inch of freedom?" loving weird and gross. These people do not need to be raising kids. E: not saying I have anything against birth control, but there are far better ways to talk about this. Forcing someone to take meds they don't want is nasty. Scathach fucked around with this message at 21:42 on Feb 21, 2024 |
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Feb 21, 2024 21:39
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Shanghaied posted:We use a brush for the dishes. The only people I know who wash dishes with sponges are Brits, and it just seems, I don't know, less hygienic than a brush, because of porous material and all that. We use sponges... I use sponges for dishes, terry cloths for random cleaning like outside the toilets and dusting, and an iron brush to scrub cat messes out of the carpet.
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Feb 21, 2024 21:40
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I once talked to some guy who worked in a commercial kitchen, who said that most home kitchens would fail commercial kitchen inspections, and even his own kitchen at home likely wouldn't pass, and as long as your home kitchen is reasonably clean it's completely fine. No idea if its true though.
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Feb 21, 2024 21:43
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Scathach posted:"Would you mind taking this totally optional, unnecessary medication that can have nasty side-effects so we'll allow you an inch of freedom?" loving weird and gross. These people do not need to be raising kids. I gotta say as someone who grew up bored and feral in the sticks where the only thing to do within five hours' walking distance was rip poo poo out of an abandoned farmhouse, I really wish someone had encouraged me to have a baby at 16 and given me more cars to crash. hosed up that they call this America A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 22:13 on Feb 21, 2024 |
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Feb 21, 2024 21:55
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When my dish sponges get too gross i cut them up and use them as birth control.
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Feb 21, 2024 22:06
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Desert Bus posted:When my dish sponges get too gross i cut them up and use them as birth control. Well I sure wouldn't have sex with somebody with gross sponges, so that tracks.
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Feb 21, 2024 22:09
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The Cut is a goldmine of human misery lately: I Think My Husband Is Trashing My Novel on Goodreads! quote:Dear Emily,
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Feb 21, 2024 22:44
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wheatpuppy posted:AITA for wanting to use seperate sponges? 1 Cleaning and 1 dishes? She needs to learn not to take her work home with her.
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Feb 21, 2024 22:47
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AITA for insisting my girlfriend ask her work to pay to exchange our theatre ticketsquote:A few months ago I bought tickets to see a pretty major screen actor in a play on Broadway for me (40M) and my long-term girlfriend (38F). I splashed out to get seats (close to) front and centre as we were excited to see this guy perform in the flesh. I mean, the scheduling sucks, but  at the idea of trying to put "$$$ for missed Broadway date" through reimbursement anywhere I've worked
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Feb 21, 2024 22:50
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What kind of job demands that you go out of town for a weekend with absolutely zero flexibility to exempt yourself for personal reasons?
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Feb 21, 2024 22:54
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OP says she could have declined, but felt uncomfortable doing so, which I can understand depending on your current status at the job.
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Feb 21, 2024 22:56
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:Man there's a whole lot going on here obvs but I keep hearing these stories of autistic dudes who have successfully navigated all the arbitrary social rules out there the hard way, and then some rear end in a top hat just starts making up new ones they're horribly transgressing cause they know anyone else would tell them to gently caress off but that person is gonna take all month to agonize over whether "hi" is really an unacceptable greeting. Bums me out Yep, that's what people do. Whether it's because they see an easy target or assume the slightest social difficulty can only be a deliberate offensive act targeted directly at them, who knows. Probably the first one.
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Feb 21, 2024 22:58
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I [26 M] have never been very attracted to my [25F] wife. How important is it that I am attracted to her?quote:I don't want to go into too much detail because my wife reads this subreddit and I want to get my thoughts in order here or get some counseling about it before (if ever) I bring it up to her. quote:It's just her looks overall. Rarely do I look at her and feel love. She has always felt like a girl that I really enjoy being around, but see more as a friend with whom I have sex because I just have never felt that spark of attraction towards her. I don't want to say never because it does happen, but it's not as often as (I think) it should be, or as often as it has been with other women I have dated. I just feel like I'm off-base for what attraction even is, because someone who does things for me like she does, and loves me as she does 100% deserves my undying love, but I just don't feel it. It definitely feels as though it's a defect in me, not any fault of her own, which is why I'm asking. quote:Ugh, I just don't know. I think part of it is that I am a "conventionally attractive" guy so often feel as though I "deserve" someone more attractive. I know that this is shallow and it's something that I'm working on, but it's part of my thought process. Things that made me stay with her? She is very open, free-spirited, and trusting. She loves poetry, music, plays piano, cooks wonderful food, and is a family oriented person like myself. When we started dating she was poly amorous and I saw it as a casual thing where I could still be my introverted self when she was off with the girl or other guy she was dating at the time. It was perfect, and then the other 2 relationships quickly dropped off, we said I love you, and things just escalated extremely quickly from there which I was not prepared to deal with. I told her I wasn't ready to propose and then we got drunk together one night and I said that I was, now here I am. See if you can guess why exactly this dude is contemplating exploding what sounds like a mostly happy, loving relationship!
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Feb 21, 2024 23:16
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Cythereal posted:I [26 M] have never been very attracted to my [25F] wife. How important is it that I am attracted to her? Hell yeah dude, set off those explosives! Blow up the greatest relationship you have ever had or will ever have because "I feel like the grass on the other side of this wall will be greener. I'm owed that by the universe." We could all use the entertainment!
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Feb 21, 2024 23:30
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Honestly how amazing can she be if she shares that guy's worldview anyway
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Feb 21, 2024 23:35
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Somebody is clearly not familiar with the works of modern poet Jimmy Soul
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Feb 21, 2024 23:39
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Yeah imo the personality of the person you are with is much more of a dealbreaker than whether they look like Tom cruise / whatever. I mean I'm not a super horny dude like the op so maybe we're on different wavelengths but I'd much rather have a solid 5 that shares chores, enjoys being with me, and can be depended on than a lazy, flighty,, perpetually-unemployed 8 or 9. If this dude is expecting everything he's getting plus supermodel looks I think he's likely to end up very lonely Also I hope he's not the jealous type because if you do end up with a "smokin hot ten" every horny dude in a ten block radius is going to swarm your house like night of the living dead.
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Feb 21, 2024 23:40
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From the title I was expecting that he realized he literally didn't want to have sex with her and that would have made a lot more sense than the actual post
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Feb 21, 2024 23:42
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Cythereal posted:
How exactly does one have a great sex life with someone to whom one feels no physical attraction? Is it like that scene in American Psycho, where Patrick Bateman screws a hooker from behind while admiring his own physique in the mirror?
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Feb 21, 2024 23:44
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Shanghaied posted:I once talked to some guy who worked in a commercial kitchen, who said that most home kitchens would fail commercial kitchen inspections, and even his own kitchen at home likely wouldn't pass, and as long as your home kitchen is reasonably clean it's completely fine. No idea if its true though. https://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/29/dining/29inspector.html Would the City Shut Down Your Kitchen? By Henry Alford Sept. 28, 2010 See how this article appeared when it was originally published on NYTimes.com. THE night before a health inspector came to my apartment, I had a brief nightmare about a grim-faced woman in a lab coat who crawled across my kitchen floor with a pair of tweezers. So when it came time to greet the actual inspector, Beth Torin, one of the first things I uttered to her had a slightly unaccommodating air about it: “Your presence in my home terrifies me.” Ms. Torin, a forceful, chatty woman in her late 30s, reached into her bag to produce her badge and said, “My mother tells me the same thing.” Some of us have been thinking about kitchen sanitation with greater frequency ever since July, when the New York City health department started requiring restaurants to post letter grades signifying their inspection scores. (An A denotes zero to 13 points worth of violations; B, 14 to 27; C, 28 or more.) But has this increased awareness of restaurant cleanliness had any trickle-down to our own kitchens? The societal function of posting health-code violations in public would seem to have the same double edge as that of gossip columns: in some instances, these broadcasts humiliate sinners into better behavior; but in others, they make the sins look normal, and thus open the floodgates. Eager to find out where my West Village kitchen falls on the continuum, I called the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene and arranged for a restaurant inspector to visit at noon last Thursday. I asked them to overlook any stipulations that would not apply to a home, like the signs in restrooms that remind employees to wash their hands. Restaurants get no warning before an inspection; so, to handicap myself, we decided that Ms. Torin would arrive one hour before I was to serve an elaborate lunch to four friends. I had 27 hours to prepare, or should I say to obsess. That my wholly average-seeming level of cleanliness was to be rated while I was cooking for guests filled me with a kind of terror; my brain dredged up the words dance recital, underrehearsed, overweight, leotard. The inspection information on the health department’s Web site was largely unsurprising. But it did prompt me to remove a light bulb over my stove that was not “shielded or shatterproof.” Then I scrubbed and scoured for nine hours. Having formulated the theorem, “It can’t be a violation if it doesn’t exist,” I removed seven garbage bags’ worth of opened foods and assorted flotsam from my kitchen. I used antibacterial wipes on any surface my cats may have walked on. After sleeping for an hour, I awoke at 12:30 a.m. — the grim-faced woman with the tweezers — and cleaned for another hour. The next morning, uncertain how much of my environment would fall under the inspector’s purview, I sponged four dust-saddled walls in my building’s stairwell, and bagged and discarded a wet mohair rug that had mysteriously appeared on the stoop. Ms. Torin’s arrival brought three surprises — she was 35 minutes late; she was chatty, with a lot of short blond corkscrew curls but no tweezers; and she was wearing heels and a gray pantsuit. (Inspectors generally wear a uniform, but Ms. Torin sometimes inspects in her office-wear.) She first produced a palm-size meter from her bag, to check carbon monoxide levels inside and outside the apartment and thus make sure my exhaust hoods were working. Satisfied, she then asked if she could wash her hands. I proudly pointed to my kitchen sink, where I’d fastidiously placed canisters of antibacterial wipes and liquid soap. I was dismayed to hear: “You’re not allowed to wash your hands in the kitchen sink. I coughed when I came in the door. Who knows where my hands have been?” Wherever they’d been, the germs they carried with them were now in the same sink I use to rinse lettuce. If the sleigh ride that was this inspection had just been given its initial push down the slope, it then proceeded to plunge, luge-like, down a sluice gate of detritus-flecked squalor. Most disastrously (that is to say, 38 points’ worth of disaster), Ms. Torin determined that my refrigerator — which, despite some dripping condensation during the summer, has always been perfectly adequate for my needs — was warmer than the required 41 degrees, as was the food inside. I didn’t know I had this problem because I don’t keep a thermometer in my fridge (2 points). These struck me as mostly legitimate violations, as did my broken meat thermometer (8 points). But then Ms. Torin started rifling off a series of less galvanizing concerns: the towels I use to wipe my counters were not soaking in a sanitizing solution (5 points), my cutting board had many tiny nicks and grooves, and thus may breed bacteria (2 points). I realized that I needed to start playing hardball if I wanted to avoid earning the nickname Typhoid Henry. When, on seeing cat food in a cabinet, she asked if I had a cat (5 points), I said yes but did not reveal that my boyfriend and I actually have two (10 points). Then I stealthily whisked my lovingly wrought appetizer — Thai shrimp and basil summer rolls — out into the living room before Ms. Torin could nail me for harboring under-refrigerated shellfish (8 points). As they say on television these days: I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to win. In the meantime, my guests had started arriving. Ms. Torin told my friend Liz, “I’m making sure that your meal is safe.” Liz replied, “I wish you were here every time I came.” My friend Mark bore a bouquet of fluffy white hydrangeas, saying, “I thought they suggested the immaculate.” Simultaneously, I was whipping up two corn soufflés. The trifecta of guest arrival, soufflé preparation and government-backed humiliation was, for this host, a lake of fire. Imagine that your war crimes tribunal is being filmed while you broil scallops. As guests spilled in and egg whites were whipped, Ms. Torin continued zealously snooping around the kitchen, brandishing a tiny flashlight to look for rodent excreta, and telling me that I should sand down my aged cutting boards and retrieve ice from my freezer with a scoop. I grimace-smiled like a polar bear at a world climate summit. Ms. Torin totted up my violations on a worksheet: 77. Flunkadelic. She offered some faint praise, including the heart-warmers “Your covered garbage can is great” and “You didn’t obstruct me.” If a restaurant gets a score higher than 14, an inspector returns for a second visit in about two weeks. The restaurant can post this second grade, or a sign that says “Grade Pending.” About three weeks later, a representative from the restaurant appears before an administrative tribunal, where the grade is arbitrated and finalized. But, Ms. Torin said, were my home a restaurant, my lack of adequate refrigeration would have resulted in more dramatic action. “We would make a decision very quickly,” she said. I raised my eyebrows in a manner that said either, “And would kindness prevail?” or “Should I get the vial of Seconal now?” Uncharacteristically demure, Ms. Torin replied, “I don’t want to depress you because you have guests here.” That my friends, apprised of my rating, then consumed large quantities of the food I had prepared says everything to me about why I have chosen these particular individuals to be in my life. Their forbearance reminded me of Mrs. John Gotti’s statement about her husband: “All I know is, he provides.” The next day, I spoke by phone with Ms. Torin, who was concerned she had been too hard on me. She had docked me for a few things specific to restaurants — e.g., 5 points for my not wearing a head covering — and she was feeling more charitable about my refrigerator. “I can see you don’t cook a lot,” she said. “You didn’t have much food, but a lot of wine.” Deciding not to explain that I’d nervously divested my fridge of two garbage bags’ worth of items before her arrival, I instead tried to impress upon her the dictates of the go-go bohemian life, where the refrigerator is considered full if it contains a lemon peel and a jar of olives. She said she had a new score for me. But before she gave it to me, I leveled with her: “Over the weekend, I’m going to fix most of these violations, which should be easy. But I’m not going to stop washing my hands in the sink, and I’m not soaking my wiping towels in bleach, and I’m not killing my cat. What I’m saying is, I’m a 20 at heart. Knowing that, would you personally, being both neurotic and a food safety inspector, ever come to eat at my 20?” Ms. Torin said: “Totally honestly? I wouldn’t eat in your apartment because you have a cat.” We resumed a discussion we’d had about how cats can blithely go from litter box to tabletop or kitchen counter, transporting bacteria. But we kept talking, and she soon changed her tune. “You know what?” she said. “I’ll give you the cat if you swear you’ll wash your hands in the bathroom. Then I’d come over. You’ve got to eat somewhere.” Post-inspection, I’ve made a few changes. I’ve lowered the temperature of my refrigerator. I’ve bought a new meat thermometer. I’ve nicknamed the friskier of the two cats Five Points. I’m thrilled that public places of eating are held to higher standards than homes, and that the full fruition of these high standards results in the first letter of my last name. But when it comes to my own environs, I’m hoping my patrons understand that I’m no Hester Prynne. At 41, I’m still a C. That’s C for cleanish. Pass or Fail, Some Health Basics for the Kitchen Some of the things health department inspectors watch for in restaurants are worth keeping in mind at home. Among them: Make sure to clear the sink of dishes and pans before washing hands, and use different towels to dry hands and cookware. Have liquid soap and paper towels in your bathroom for hand-washing. Make sure your cutting boards don’t have nicks and grooves where bacteria can grow. If they do, you can sand or replace them. Bacteria can also thrive inside cracks in floor tiles and wood countertops. Make sure your refrigerator is working properly and keep it on a cold setting. Don’t let food linger on countertops a long time before cooking and serving it. Keep pets off countertops and dining tables. Damp dish towels can breed bacteria. Keep them clean and dry, or use paper towels.
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Feb 21, 2024 23:50
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Captain Hygiene posted:AITA for insisting my girlfriend ask her work to pay to exchange our theatre tickets Of course, as with everything else, this mostly depends on your industry, leverage, and political capital. DeeplyConcerned posted:If this dude is expecting everything he's getting plus supermodel looks I think he's likely to end up very lonely
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Feb 21, 2024 23:52
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yeah, it's never been an issue for me, but if i had plans and my job said "hey we really need you to work this weekend instead" i would absolutely tell my boss "hey, this is going to cost me $$$" and based on our working relationship to date i'm confident he'd make it right one way or the other. and like, yeah, lots of places won't accommodate. but lots of places suck and if your work's going to jerk you around like that then it's really worth considering moving on.
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Feb 22, 2024 00:27
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Shanghaied posted:Mostly I'm wonder that "tech items" would be "inappropriate" for a 16-year-old. Like yeah okay, I probably wouldn't give a smartphone to a 6-year-old, but I thought most 16-year-olds would have phones and computers nowadays? If they aren't allowed phones and computers, that would say a lot about the parents. What could the sister have possibly owned that could be considered "inappropriate"? Bluetooth buttplugs and other IoT sex toys
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Feb 22, 2024 00:27
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Scathach posted:"Would you mind taking this totally optional, unnecessary medication that can have nasty side-effects so we'll allow you an inch of freedom?" loving weird and gross. These people do not need to be raising kids. Like, it's not like it's a bad talk to have, but that was a super awkward way for OP to bring it up. Teenagers ate going to do whatever and it's best if they do it safely but I feel like letting them know you'll get birth control for them with no judgement or comments would work better than trying to cut a deal.
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Feb 22, 2024 00:28
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PetraCore posted:Not wrong if they were intending to force it, but I didn't get the impression it was so strict. I could be wrong, though, and while unless there's a ton more missing I don't think emancipation is the right move, I definitely understand not wanting to have an in depth talk about your sex life and what birth control you use with relatives you've only moved in with a year ago. I'm sure lots of teenagers do do that, but she may very well not have any plans to do that, in which case suddenly being told "obviously you're going to be having sex in the car so you need to take birth control" would probably be pretty gross
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Feb 22, 2024 00:33
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mystes posted:Not only should they just have offered to provide birth control with no judgment if the kid was sexually active rather than trying to force her to take it in exchange for the car, it also just seems really dumb to me to assume that the kid is going to start having sex in the car. I believe the car would get them to the place they'd have sex at, not that they would be boinking in the car.
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Feb 22, 2024 00:37
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Batterypowered7 posted:I believe the car would get them to the place they'd have sex at, not that they would be boinking in the car.
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Feb 22, 2024 00:38
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Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:The Cut is a goldmine of human misery lately: Literally all writers flame other writers anonymously, also how is she glossing over the most pertinent part of the story, how she knows it's him? I can't imagine being married to a writer tbh
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Feb 22, 2024 00:46
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mystes posted:There is no way it's real. Consider how expensive dyes/pigments were for most of human history. 99.9% of the population would not have had colored objects or clothing inside their homes. Do you think that those black and white photos from Ye Olden Times are how the world actually looked? Because wood and flowers and poo poo, those all had colors.
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Feb 22, 2024 00:47
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Deified Data posted:Literally all writers flame other writers anonymously, also how is she glossing over the most pertinent part of the story, how she knows it's him? When she talked about it, he said "oh that sounds like Lilly from the Reylo fandom" and that just made it all fall into place.
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Feb 22, 2024 00:53
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Deified Data posted:I can't imagine being married to a writer tbh They're both writers! She's just leagues ahead of him in skill and talent, just ask her!
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Feb 22, 2024 00:58
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Defiance Industries posted:Do you think that those black and white photos from Ye Olden Times are how the world actually looked? Because wood and flowers and poo poo, those all had colors. I guess I'll also hop on this dogpile and mention military uniforms, especially for high ranking officers, have always been garish as gently caress. Look at these fabulous mother fuckers They fought and died looking like that.
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Feb 22, 2024 01:00
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Deified Data posted:Literally all writers flame other writers anonymously, also how is she glossing over the most pertinent part of the story, how she knows it's him?
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Feb 22, 2024 01:00
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Deified Data posted:how is she glossing over the most pertinent part of the story, how she knows it's him? Yeah, one of the downsides to the questions coming in from advice columns is that you never get further clarification on stuff like that. I mean, reddit OPs disappear half the time too, but at least sometimes you get answers on big stuff like that.
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Feb 22, 2024 01:07
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littleratbastard posted:Yeah gently caress nonbinary people using non standard pronouns, that’s right!  (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Feb 22, 2024 01:19
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quote:Dear Care and Feeding, The dean is a poo poo who can't do his job. Anna is also a poo poo, but in a wonderful way.
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Feb 22, 2024 01:36
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haveblue posted:Babies have no common sense and poor emotional regulation, they do that sort of thing all the time when they do it it's cute but when i do it it's causing a scene 
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Feb 22, 2024 02:13
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Can we please cut down on this hopefully ironic stuff? Some of us are non-binary and/or trans and it's not funny. If we shouldn't be posting anti trans bait, we shouldn't have the call be coming from inside the thread
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Feb 22, 2024 02:17
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Anticheese posted:Can we please cut down on this hopefully ironic stuff? Some of us are non-binary and/or trans and it's not funny. If we shouldn't be posting anti trans bait, we shouldn't have the call be coming from inside the thread
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Feb 22, 2024 02:35
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Anticheese posted:Can we please cut down on this hopefully ironic stuff? Some of us are non-binary and/or trans and it's not funny. If we shouldn't be posting anti trans bait, we shouldn't have the call be coming from inside the thread
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Feb 22, 2024 02:40
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