The Cursed Images Thread: A Dilbert themed ethics game created by Lockheed Martin

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > The Cursed Images Thread: A Dilbert themed ethics game created by Lockheed Martin

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Takes No Damage: Nov 20, 2004; The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.; Grimey Drawer

Radio Paranoia posted:

Call that a Porno Americano.

I only view porn that is........... out of this world :pervert:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyJSZ0u24gc

# ? Feb 23, 2024 00:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 06:17

Mauser: Dec 16, 2003; How did I even get here, son?!

Edmund Sparkler posted:

Being really into kink sounds exhausting as hell, tbqh.

Way too much effort to just crank your hog at the end of all that imo

# ? Feb 23, 2024 07:14

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/aCVhqOT.mp4

# ? Feb 23, 2024 12:57

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

I don't thing we've yet had a video log of a stuck caver gradually realizing this is it.
Just a matter of time though. :gonk:

# ? Feb 23, 2024 13:17

Whooping Crabs: Apr 13, 2010; Sorry for the derail but I fuckin love me some racoons

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/aCVhqOT.mp4

too cursed

# ? Feb 23, 2024 13:17

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

The first step of spelunking is bulking and gluttonizing and feasting yourself to elephantine proportions, so when you get stuck you can easily piss and poo poo and fart and barf and otherwise safely deflate yourself out the sticky situation.

E: shidded and farded and camed my cave

# ? Feb 23, 2024 13:43

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/aCVhqOT.mp4

I saw a caver video where they explained that if you can get in forwards, you can get out backwards. I try to think about that whenever I see NOPE stuff like this.

Anyway, here's the full video from the clip. No one dies, but he admits he got himself into a bad situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-XA2BRLgg

# ? Feb 23, 2024 14:28

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

axolotl farmer posted:

I saw a caver video where they explained that if you can get in forwards, you can get out backwards. I try to think about that whenever I see NOPE stuff like this.

Anyway, here's the full video from the clip. No one dies, but he admits he got himself into a bad situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-XA2BRLgg

It is technically true, but also there are plenty of cavers who couldn't, in fact, get out backwards. It's just you only hear from the ones who could.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 14:44

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

In fact, most dead ends in most cave systems are in fact jam packed chock full of dead cavers who couldn't get out backwards. That's why they're called "dead ends" :eng101:

# ? Feb 23, 2024 15:48

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

hey now, respect their memories. they wouldn't want to end up the butt of a joke

# ? Feb 23, 2024 15:54

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/aCVhqOT.mp4

I would actually rather die than crawl through a space like that.
I don't care if a monster or murderer is chasing me, if that was my only route I'd just simply die.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 15:57

Mindless: Dec 7, 2001; WANTED: INFO on Mindless. Anything! Everything! Send to; Pillbug

Grey Cat posted:

I would actually rather die than crawl through a space like that.
I don't care if a monster or murderer is chasing me, if that was my only route I'd just simply die.

That would make an awesome horror movie scene. Escape the were-cougar by crawling through a tight, wet cave, but it comes in too, and you gotta go forward or get mauled. Hopefully it will get stuck before you do!

# ? Feb 23, 2024 16:04

Kit Walker: Jul 10, 2010; "The Man Who Cannot Deadlift"

Mindless posted:

That would make an awesome horror movie scene. Escape the were-cougar by crawling through a tight, wet cave, but it comes in too, and you gotta go forward or get mauled. Hopefully it will get stuck before you do!

That�s why the spookiest horror monster is any exceptionally motivated octopus

# ? Feb 23, 2024 16:13

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Caver is short for cadaver.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 16:18

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

Kit Walker posted:

exceptionally motivated octopus

Mods name change pls

# ? Feb 23, 2024 16:42

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

axolotl farmer posted:

I saw a caver video where they explained that if you can get in forwards, you can get out backwards. I try to think about that whenever I see NOPE stuff like this.

This doesn't work if the cave is winding downwards and you get wedged by gravity and can't push or pull yourself back up. Even worse if you went head first as blood starts to pack in your head till you lose consciousness.

The biggest thing I worry about videos like that there is that what if the water suddenly starts rising and you panic and can't back out quickly enough.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 16:46

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

If it's legitimate spelunking, nature has a way to get you out

# ? Feb 23, 2024 16:50

Inzombiac: Mar 19, 2007; PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY

axolotl farmer posted:

I saw a caver video where they explained that if you can get in forwards, you can get out backwards. I try to think about that whenever I see NOPE stuff like this.

Anyway, here's the full video from the clip. No one dies, but he admits he got himself into a bad situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-XA2BRLgg

Y'know, I can watch The Decent and play Sons of the Forest without wigging out but videos like this are the only things to make my brain go in to full freakout mode.
This is literally hell to me. I would just shove my head in the water and die.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 16:50

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Nenonen posted:

This doesn't work if the cave is winding downwards and you get wedged by gravity and can't push or pull yourself back up. Even worse if you went head first as blood starts to pack in your head till you lose consciousness.

The biggest thing I worry about videos like that there is that what if the water suddenly starts rising and you panic and can't back out quickly enough.

Just toss some seltzers ahead of you and the co2 pressure buildup will spit you out.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 16:53

Vampire Panties: Apr 18, 2001; nposter; Nap Ghost

I don't like being underground period, but I also lived in the bay area during Loma Prieta. I loving hate driving on any sort of double-decker bridge as well.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 16:54

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Vampire Panties posted:

I don't like being underground period, but I also lived in the bay area during Loma Prieta. I loving hate driving on any sort of double-decker bridge as well.

I remember seeing pictures of that big earthquake back in the 90s (89, I guess) and the collapsed double decker highway is burned in my memory. :yikes:

Edmund Sparkler fucked around with this message at 18:32 on Feb 23, 2024

# ? Feb 23, 2024 18:22

Murdstone: Jun 14, 2005; I'm feeling Jimmy

Nenonen posted:

This doesn't work if the cave is winding downwards and you get wedged by gravity and can't push or pull yourself back up. Even worse if you went head first as blood starts to pack in your head till you lose consciousness.

The Nutty Putty Incident is one of the worst things I�ve ever read about.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 18:24

Kit Walker: Jul 10, 2010; "The Man Who Cannot Deadlift"

Murdstone posted:

The Nutty Putty Incident is one of the worst things I�ve ever read about.

Among like a million other terrible things about the story, I can�t imagine a more humiliating death than forever being known as the Nutty Putty guy

# ? Feb 23, 2024 18:33

My Spirit Otter: Jun 15, 2006; CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

Kit Walker posted:

Among like a million other terrible things about the story, I can’t imagine a more humiliating death than forever being known as the Nutty Putty guy

cant be humiliated if youre dead

# ? Feb 23, 2024 18:42

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Karate Bastard posted:

Caver is short for cadaver.

I literally read caver as cadaver and it did not help

# ? Feb 23, 2024 18:47

caspergers: Oct 1, 2021

staberind posted:

When people read "the amaerican version of ...." do people contine to read after that or... what?
unless its porn?

Yeah because we aren't that far up our own asses. Kinda like an American would be

# ? Feb 23, 2024 18:56

Kit Walker: Jul 10, 2010; "The Man Who Cannot Deadlift"

My Spirit Otter posted:

cant be humiliated if youre dead

Or so I pray

# ? Feb 23, 2024 19:09

Leon Sumbitches: Mar 27, 2010; Dr. Leon Adoso Sumbitches (prounounced soom-'beh-cheh) (born January 21, 1935) is heir to the legendary Adoso family oil fortune.

My Spirit Otter posted:

cant be humiliated if youre dead

The endless cycle of samsara would beg to differ. I'm still cringing about deaths I had thousands of years ago.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 19:18

Jamesman: Nov 19, 2004; "First off, let me start by saying curly light blond hair does not suit Hyomin at all. Furthermore,"; Fun Shoe

I think we can all relate to just wanting to crawl into a hole and die, but that's what therapy is for.

That Nutty Putty story is loving aggravating. "Well, haven't gone caving since I was a kid. Lemme just go ahead and dive headfirst (literally) back into some poo poo a couple days before Thanksgiving and with a pregnant wife at home!"

# ? Feb 23, 2024 19:22

Antigravitas: Dec 8, 2019; Die Rettung fuer die Landwirte:

My Spirit Otter posted:

cant be humiliated if youre dead

If that's true, then why do I have a dead man's switch wired to delete my personal data?

# ? Feb 23, 2024 19:28

Buttchocks: Oct 21, 2020; No, I like my hat, thanks.

Nenonen posted:

The biggest thing I worry about videos like that there is that what if the water suddenly starts rising and you panic and can't back out quickly enough.

Rising water won't be a problem because it's actually a pool of mercury.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 20:07

TrashMammal: Nov 10, 2022

Jamesman posted:

I think we can all relate to just wanting to crawl into a hole and die, but that's what therapy is for.

That Nutty Putty story is loving aggravating. "Well, haven't gone caving since I was a kid. Lemme just go ahead and dive headfirst (literally) back into some poo poo a couple days before Thanksgiving and with a pregnant wife at home!"

dudes rock

# ? Feb 23, 2024 20:09

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

TrashMammal posted:

dudes rock

Actually I think the ending was more like Dude's cement.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 20:11

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

(unless it wraps around to being #blessed by giving me a solid laugh)

# ? Feb 23, 2024 21:05

youknowthatoneguy: Mar 27, 2004; Mmm, boooofies!

Captain Hygiene posted:

(unless it wraps around to being #blessed by giving me a solid laugh)

It was honestly not a bad game, just not up to God of War, of who's hype it was trying to capitalize on. Some of the monsters and level design was pretty cool.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 21:33

Mauser: Dec 16, 2003; How did I even get here, son?!

My Spirit Otter posted:

cant be humiliated if youre dead

# ? Feb 23, 2024 22:07

Waffle!: Aug 6, 2004; I Feel Pretty!

Captain Hygiene posted:

(unless it wraps around to being #blessed by giving me a solid laugh)

I never played God of War, so I thought it was ok. The real curse was EA's hosed up marketing for it. And also how much heat :nws:

Satan's packing :devil:

No ring, either.

I liked the last fight because it was strangely fair considering who you're fighting. Satan has all the moves you do, and will absolutely counter your spam bullshit moves with his own. Just don't get too distracted by swinging meat...

# ? Feb 23, 2024 23:19