r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

I'd be first in line to get a child a dog toy because these rules about what is made for what are actually arbitrary and dont mean anything. Which is why I've bought many little stuffies intended for children for my cat, he prefers them to be bigger than most standard cat toys because he loves to grab and kick with his back feet. And working at a gift shop at a zoo for years, I got a decent discount. But there would always be some coworker who said it was weird, why not just buy him cat toys like a normal person?

Because I can do whatever I want, Brenda.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 19:59

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 12:58

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

Deified Data posted:

So basically this guy's issue is he's mad his brother moved on instead of malingering on it like he has, and that his parents never gave him their blessing for betraying his brother. So many words just to say his happiness depends on his brothers' unhappiness.

His username is HusbandFatherBrother. I guess two out of three ain't bad.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:02

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

FMguru posted:

Toys-R-Us used to sell a cheap (like $20) kit of children's musical instruments which included a drum, two drumsticks, two cymbals, a harmonica, and tooty plastic horn. All it was missing was a big sticker on it saying "Perfect for the child whose parents you despise!".

When I was young those were the kinds of gifts that stayed at Grandma's house

Festus The Fetus posted:

What a loving bullshit reason to put somebody on probation. You're not a reddit mod be loving better.

I have no idea who you are and I've never interacted with you but the fact that you have me on ignore means I'm doing something right.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:07

mystes: May 31, 2006

big mean giraffe posted:

I have no idea who you are and I've never interacted with you but the fact that you have me on ignore means I'm doing something right.

How exactly would you determine that?

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:09

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

mystes posted:

How exactly would you determine that?

It's possible they also just have PMs disabled but when someone blocks you the message button under their post disappears I believe

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:12

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

My (22F) boyfriend (31M) has become obsessed with a book and it�s tearing us apart

quote:

Throwaway account for obvious reasons.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. It�s been by far the smoothest and best relationship I�ve ever had until four or five months ago when he became obsessed with this book. I don�t even want to say the title because it triggers me, both because of what�s happening and the content. But the premise of the book is basically a white supremacist gang that kills Mexicans and Indigenous people while listening to some monster who is their leader rant around a campfire.

My boyfriend found out about this book last fall and for some reason is convinced that this is �the greatest work in the English language� and �a masterpiece.� He endlessly quotes it even though hardly anyone has heard of it. The book has lots of long and creepy monologues and he will adapt them to be relevant to whatever is currently happening. I was so embarrassed around Christmas when he first met my parents and he did this. Like some inside joke that only he gets.

Last year we negotiated a system where when we go on long drives we split access to the radio 50/50. He used to listen to music during this time but now it�s just the audio book for this book over and over. Every. Single. Time. And to make matters worse he will gesticulate wildly and quote his favorite parts, sometimes taking both his hands off the wheel.

I think the last straw was finding out last week after he came to me asking if I could cover a portion of his rent (we split 50/50) that he had been buying multiple copies of this book!! �I want to collect every edition�

Maybe I could handle all of that. Maybe. But he�s been forcing me to give my opinions on this book�which I hate�but he won�t even accept my opinion! I tell him that literature is subjective and he will unreasonably say �NOPE. That is wrong! Try again.� Until I say what he thinks the correct interpretation is.

How can I get him to shake this obsession off? I know this makes him look bad but he�s really the sweetest man. I want this to work. But I am so done with this book.

One=third of the time together he's been so obsessed with a racist book that he can't make rent? Get pregnant immediately and nail this prime specimen down!

My ex wrote a book about me...

quote:

Hi guys, I didn't know for sure where to post this but this seemed like the best place.

To give a little background information first, 2 years ago my ex decided to break up with me. It was not a bad breakup in terms of how it went down, but it was definitely painful. To make a long story short, I was suffering with health issues and anxiety and was letting my fears get the best of me and was really stressing him out with feeling jealous of his family (for multiple reasons) and doubting his commitment to me related to his family. This obviously became stressful to him and he ended things. We shared a lot of good times and everyone around us believed we were meant to be, and so did we. I loved this person a lot, and wanted to spend my life with them. I have not dated since our breakup, and seemingly neither has he. I still love him and still have strong feelings about the way things ended.

Okay, now to the present issue. My ex is a writer, and while I knew it was a possibility, I never really thought he would put me in one of his books. It didn't ever seem like I was his muse when writing while we were together. The genres he writes about are typically not romance. The book is based on a vampire who basically tries to control him and will do anything to be with him, and he falls deeply in love with her before knowing what she is. Many scenes in this book are eerily familiar and almost 100% have to be influenced by events in our past relationship. It's not only this that is familiar, the main character is obviously himself and there are other personal touches throughout the book that I personally know are about him. The character whom I 99.9% believe is me has a similar name and has been made more interesting by being a vampire and says and does things similar to how I acted in our relationship, except obviously its dramatized for the books benefit.

The acknowledgements even go as far to admit that the book is inspired by true events in his life and his experience with relationships which is basically just me, as he never really dated much before me. This just confirms my suspicions more, and people in my life who have either already read it or Ive told about it believe it's about me. The strangest thing of all is his family is showing no support for this book, they typically share it and say how proud they are but not this time.

My point with this post is to get some advice about how to take this book as a person who still has feelings for my ex who wrote this. It's a very personal book, and probably the best he's wrote, which makes me feel proud obviously, even if people we know are going to read it and probably associate it to me.... which is a bit embarrassing. Ive had conflicting feelings since reading it because although the character based on me is considered "monstrous" and troublesome, he does fall in love with her and goes on to write things like this

"If I deserve a second chance, so does she"

"When I left, a part of me wondered if she would come for me" (This is closely related to something he has personally said to me since the breakup early on)

"I think about her more than I care to admit, what we shared is not something that just goes away, she's in my blood and Ill never be truly free of her, maybe thats how it should be"

"Thats the tragedy of it, we loved each other, but we could not be together"

"We're both to blame for the way things ended, and now we have to pay the price, guess thats what happens when you fall in love with someone who isn't right for you"

"After finding our missing halves, each of us is left incomplete"

"Sometimes love isn't enough"

"I spend a lot of time thinking about where she is and what she's doing"

"And maybe, just maybe, she dreams about me too"

I am fully aware that even though this is likely based on our relationship, that it is still a work of fiction.

Thats what makes it so hard to decipher. Obviously as someone who still has feelings for this person, reading this was pretty painful at times and brought back a lot of feelings Id tried hard to bury. I have people telling me it means he still cares and that I should reach out, while I have someone else saying hell no to that (for good reasons). Its hard to know if this book is saying "I love her and always will but she is not good for me and Im done with it", or "I still love her and while things were difficult, I wonder if she still loves me too". Im feeling very conflicted, and just want to see what others who have no personal relation to this situation have to say, and basically how you would take it if you were in my shoes.

To sum it up, should I take this as a sign he is still in fact in love with me too and reach out to him, or am I reading too far into this and should continue to try my best to move on even though it still bothers me deeply.

This book sounds horrible, I demand more

What one book can save my marriage?!

quote:

I (39f) have been married for 12 years and my husband (39m) and I are not getting along. He left today on a vacation with friends we were both supposed to go on and said he was moving out when he got back. I agree we need a break. He got on my bad side several months ago with the repeated yelling at me, calling me names etc. Neither of us have been good to each other lately. He will spend his weekend drinking and probably becoming more angry at me but I am going to spend my weekend doing some self care and healing. What is one book I can read that might help me? Our main issue is inability to communicate. Thanks.

Comment:

quote:

A current publication on divorce proceedings in your state would be my recommendation.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:13

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Festus The Fetus posted:

What a loving bullshit reason to put somebody on probation. You're not a reddit mod be loving better.

Why be better when I can Be Best?

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:13

mystes: May 31, 2006

big mean giraffe posted:

It's possible they also just have PMs disabled but when someone blocks you the message button under their post disappears I believe

I don't know how it works in general, but they don't have a platinum icon so I'm guessing that that might be the reason in this case.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:15

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

MagusofStars posted:

It's also pretty difficult to accidentally delete save data on modern PC games. If you're deleting a saved game or User Profile within the game itself, there's usually very obvious "are you sure? warning this cannot be undone are you really sure?" confirmations before deleting or overwriting it. If you're uninstalling the game via a launcher like Steam, the default "Uninstall" option only deletes the game files itself and not the save data. It's definitely on purpose.

I'd love to find the comments on this one to find out the game though. The length of time and mention of planning makes me feel like it's something like Baldur's Gate 3 or a similar 100+ hour game, in which case, dude should consider himself lucky he's only banned from the PC and not just told to pack his poo poo.

OP *might* be able to salvage it if he has VSS enabled in Windows. Find the game directory & save folder > right click > Previous Versions then restore back to before his dipshit cousin deleted his save.

Bigger question though is why the aunt isn't taking her own drat kid in her house instead of him living with a cousin. Maybe he did something even more monumentally stupid to her to get the boot?

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:15

mystes: May 31, 2006

trickybiscuits posted:

My (22F) boyfriend (31M) has become obsessed with a book and it�s tearing us apart

From the comments there

quote:

For those interested, the book is obviously Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy and this post is obviously a troll (probably from bookscirclejerk). It's one of those books that's constantly recommended and praised on reddit, so people like making fun of its superfans. Please don't engage with this post as if it's a real situation lol, it really is just an esoteric inside joke.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:18

Yoshi Wins: Jul 14, 2013

trickybiscuits posted:

My (22F) boyfriend (31M) has become obsessed with a book and it�s tearing us apart

I assume the book is Blood Meridian, which I haven't read, but I know a lot of goons have. Is it like Fight Club, where a bunch of dudes think it's a guide of how to act, instead of... not that.

efb

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:18

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Before Man existed Reddit was waiting for him, the perfect platform awaiting its perfect poster.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:19

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

big mean giraffe posted:

When I was young those were the kinds of gifts that stayed at Grandma's house

Walmart seems to have the equivalent for $12:

Kid Connection Preschool Pretend Musical Instrument Set - Includes Drum Set, Trumpet, Harmonica, Maracas, Flute, Tambourine, 9 Pieces � Great for Preschoolers and Young Children!

Halloween Jack posted:

Before Man existed Reddit was waiting for him, the perfect platform awaiting its perfect poster.

He never sleeps, the Moderator. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:22

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Just a reminder, a six-hour probation is not that big of a loving deal. Especially when you're upset on behalf of someone else that hasn't complained at all.

poo poo, just look at FMguru above. I've had to hit them seven times for story reposts and they're still here, having fun.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:25

B-Rock452: Jan 6, 2005

Yoshi Wins posted:

I assume the book is Blood Meridian, which I haven't read, but I know a lot of goons have. Is it like Fight Club, where a bunch of dudes think it's a guide of how to act, instead of... not that.

efb

No. Like no not at all. If you walk away from that thinking "man the judge has some decent ideas" you were a poo poo stain to begin with. And yeah it's got some great quotes but really not sure how someone can be bringing them up around a dinner table without looking like an absolute madman

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:27

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Yoshi Wins posted:

I assume the book is Blood Meridian, which I haven't read, but I know a lot of goons have. Is it like Fight Club, where a bunch of dudes think it's a guide of how to act, instead of... not that.

efb

I assume there's a natural knee jerk reaction to people wanting to hate popular literature, which is not without merit given some recent notable incidents.

It's also one of those things that can get easy viral clicks if you put it in the most negative context, ex. "white man wrote a book glamourizing brutal murders of indigenous peoples, white literary establishment fawns over it". Depiction Equals Endorsement and all that.

We're only a year or 2 out from American Dirt being hailed as one of the greatest novels of the generation before actual Mexican authors and critics managed to get attention (after a single scathing NYT review) to out the book as white savior horseshit that is at best ripping ideas from several great existing Mexican novels.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:36

carrionman: Oct 30, 2010

I'm just jealous, why can't daddy corky spank my profussy with his huge 6hr probation?

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:36

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Just a reminder, a six-hour probation is not that big of a loving deal. Especially when you're upset on behalf of someone else that hasn't complained at all.

poo poo, just look at FMguru above. I've had to hit them seven times for story reposts and they're still here, having fun.

You're just trying to trick people into getting more 6ers by claiming they're OK. The less people who can post the less people you have to try and keep in line.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:39

spookykid: Apr 28, 2006; I am an awkward fellow
after all

B-Rock452 posted:

No. Like no not at all. If you walk away from that thinking "man the judge has some decent ideas" you were a poo poo stain to begin with. And yeah it's got some great quotes but really not sure how someone can be bringing them up around a dinner table without looking like an absolute madman

How I imagine the dude looks reciting lines from the book:

https://twitter.com/InternetH0F/status/1758642543506653398

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:40

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

Book nerd with Aspergers doesn�t understand if I just got a date.

quote:

Basically what it says on the title. I�ve been flirting with a friend I�ve known for a while, I�ve probably failed miserably cause Aspergers, but she for some reason flirted back. I ended up asking her if I could take her dinner after finals week, and she said YES in all caps, that part sounds fake I know so I asked her why and she said cause she misses me. I�m probably over analyzing the situation but honestly I don�t know what to think. Part of me thinks it�s a date but another part of me thinks she might just be trying to play me cause she knows that I�m gullible. Any advice would be appreciated thank you.

Edit: Due to a very good idea given to me by noodleboi287 I will be updating this when a major event happens and when I finally do get to take her out. I�m probably gonna update it again in a bit cause I just realized a rookie mistake, I�ve been talking to her on Snapchat and never asked for her number so I just did that.

Because of popular demand/I just wanted to be risky cause science, I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie after our date, she said �yeah that sounds fun� so either she didn�t read the word date or I do indeed have a date. I�m 99% sure it�s the latter. I wouldn�t have been able to be that ballsy without all of y�all pitching in with your opinions and advice so thank you! Next week is finals week so expect news on the situation the Saturday after that! Only if y�all want it I don�t want to provide unnecessary stuff for y�all to care about in your daily lives since life is hectic and unpredictable

Even if it's not a date it's a nice dinner with a friend. Cute problems :3:

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:44

mystes: May 31, 2006

trickybiscuits posted:

Book nerd with Aspergers doesn�t understand if I just got a date.

Even if it's not a date it's a nice dinner with a friend. Cute problems

The best comment from that is

quote:

As an autistic girl I have been on two dates with guys where I wasnt sure if it was a date.
The first guy this happened with I genuinely had no idea he had asked me out, I thought we were just hanging out as mates and I talked a lot about my relationship with my bf about half way through the 'date'. I just totally missed every signal.
The second guy, I asked him out but wasnt sure if he was into me (he is super shy) so after our 'date' I text him and asked him if he had thought that was an actual date. he said yes and we have been married 10 years now.
You have nothing to lose really and quite a lot to gain.
Let us know how it goes and just be yourself on your date

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:47

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I appreciate when you folks include a few heartwarming stories among the hellfire and brimstone.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:48

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

God bless you, noodleboi287

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:52

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

AITA for not cleaning up my urine in the middle of the night?

quote:

Context: I was at my friend's apartment, I wanna say a few weeks ago, and we were just spending the night together because my parent's were out of town so I needed a place to hang out. Now, it's later at night, around 2:00 AM I wanna say and I woke up having to pee REALLY bad but I was kind of in a daze because of how early it was. So I go to the bathroom and I guess I miss by a lot and go back to bed.

I wake up the next morning to my friend just losing at me, saying I got piss everywhere and the floor's are completely ruined. I just woke up so I had no idea what to say but he was livid and I even offered to clean it up but he was still angry, saying I should've done it the moment I left the restroom.

At the time I had no idea what I was thinking and I just wanted to explain that it was way early in the morning but I just didn't think about it until I left later today. I think he's still angry with me and I'm scared because I really don't want this whole friendship to be ruined by one really embarrassing night.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:57

Cookie Cutter: Nov 29, 2020; Is there something else that's bothering you Mr. President?

Yoshi Wins posted:

I assume the book is Blood Meridian, which I haven't read, but I know a lot of goons have. Is it like Fight Club, where a bunch of dudes think it's a guide of how to act, instead of... not that.

efb

Nah it's legit good, and I would hope it's clear that everyone in the book is enough of an rear end in a top hat to know it's not meant to be idolising them at all, it just has an overblown online reputation, the same as how you'll see people being like "Brutalist architecture is the coolest type of architecture ever!" which, it is, but, did you arrive at that conclusion through a personal understanding of a lot of different types of architecture or did you just learn about it online, agree and then switch off brain. Blood Meridian is the book version of that

# ? Feb 27, 2024 20:58

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

AKA Pseudonym posted:

AITA for not cleaning up my urine in the middle of the night?

"The floors are completely ruined" makes me think he never made it to the bathroom.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:00

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

"The floors are completely ruined" makes me think he never made it to the bathroom.

Or it's a carpeted bathroom and he did them a favor by demonstrating why that's a horrible idea.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:01

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Lemniscate Blue posted:

Or it's a carpeted bathroom and he did them a favor by demonstrating why that's a horrible idea.

If they had a carpeted bathroom then he's the rear end in a top hat for not just setting fire to the entire place.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:02

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Lemniscate Blue posted:

Or it's a carpeted bathroom and he did them a favor by demonstrating why that's a horrible idea.

I've known someone who insisted on having untreated hardwood floors in the bathroom and demanded that guys pee sitting down, because getting urine on the floor would ruin it.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:05

DangerDongs: Nov 7, 2010; Grimey Drawer

The story changes quit a bit when you think of the person as a girl instead of a dude with his hose. I could see why a friend would be mad at her gal pal for squatting over the floor and not the toilet.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:07

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

I once went out with a friend for a few drinks and we walked back to his place and passed out. I woke up a couple of hours later to the smell of burning pee and electronics and the sight of him pissing on his girlfriend's computer.

I've also gotten to experience a drunk person thinking a bedroom was a bathroom and their pee dripped down 2 floors onto people on the first floor and in the basement.

Never trust a drunk to pee in the right place.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:07

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

The worst part is trying to convince someone that drunk that where they're pissing is most certainly not the toilet. Or anywhere near the bathroom.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:09

mystes: May 31, 2006

DangerDongs posted:

The story changes quit a bit when you think of the person as a girl instead of a dude with his hose. I could see why a friend would be mad at her gal pal for squatting over the floor and not the toilet.

How does the exact mechanism by which someone missed the toilet make make any difference?

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:09

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

DangerDongs posted:

The story changes quit a bit when you think of the person as a girl instead of a dude with his hose. I could see why a friend would be mad at her gal pal for squatting over the floor and not the toilet.

Please explain.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:11

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

The worst part is trying to convince someone that drunk that where they're pissing is most certainly not the toilet. Or anywhere near the bathroom.

You don't even try unless you wanna get an impromptu piss shower.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:12

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Do piss fetishists go around surprising drunk people urinating in public?

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:14

8one6: May 20, 2012; When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

trickybiscuits posted:

My ex wrote a book about me...

This book sounds horrible, I demand more

"Dear Reddit, I was such an emotional drain on my ex he wrote a book about me being a life draining monster and didn't have to change anything..."

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:16

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Pope Corky the IX posted:

If they had a carpeted bathroom then he's the rear end in a top hat for not just setting fire to the entire place.

That's the thing, the carpet's so damp the whole apartment could burn down and it would still be sitting there unharmed, as an affront to God and man

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:17

DangerDongs: Nov 7, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Please explain.

Men, for better or worse, get a little more leeway when the hose sprays haphazardly (2 AM morning wood), especially from other guys.
For a woman to hit the toilet seat, I would imagine she is doing some crazy hover technique to not hit the seat. That, or she wasn't at the toilet to begin with.

Now we are missing big context as where the pee ultimately landed. Did they hit the wall behind the toilet, the ceiling, just the floor alone, doused the toilet roll in piss, there are a lot missing clues to unravel this mystery.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:18

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 12:58

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Do piss fetishists go around surprising drunk people urinating in public?

Don't click this

https://www.vice.com/en/article/3b53bk/deep-inside-the-chain-pub-piss-dungeon-10

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:19

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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