r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

haveblue posted:

I just assumed that was a figure of speech and "as she was boarding" means "at the last possible moment before you cannot be face-to-face any more, whatever part of the airport that may be in your region"

I figured she called or texted him just before turning off her phone for the flight.

"So yeah, we should take a break. Boarding, no time to explain. Bye!"

# ? Feb 28, 2024 17:57

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 14:40

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

Shanghaied posted:

Just gonna tell my GF that if she sees that I'm wearing my watch on the outside of my wrist, then our relationship is progressing as normal. But if I turn the watch to the inside of the wrist then we're on a break, and she can't get mad if I sleep with someone else. I can turn the relationship on and off at will, but I'm not being selfish, she can sleep with other people too when it's off!

I hope our talk will go well, you guys.

Telling my GF we're together while my ship has white sails and broken up while it has black sails. During my trip I can blacksail all over and sleep with whoever I want, and then I can whitesail home and she'll be none the wiser. It's foolproof, as long as I remember to switch back to white sails before coming home it can't possibly go wrong.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 17:59

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

I just appreciate the arrogance/honesty. Like, she could have just hosed around.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:03

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

You have to be really, really certain that your partner is a doormat before pulling a stunt like that, and in that story the partner is not only not-a-doormat, but seems to possess the Spirit Of Pete. A rather astonishing misreading on the part of the (now ex) fiancee.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:07

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

I just appreciate the arrogance/honesty. Like, she could have just hosed around.

Yeah but then she'd be a cheater. This way she's technically not a cheater (in her bizarre thinking).

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:08

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

big mean giraffe posted:

https://www.afar.com/magazine/another-us-airport-now-allows-non-ticketed-visitors-through-security

Found this looking for more information

Sounds like one of those "you technically can, but it's a giant pain in the rear end" things. You have to fill out forms and apply in advance, even if you have precheck you can't use it and have to go through the regular line with the naked picture machine, there are limits to the number of passes issued per day and what times they can be used, etc�

Seems like of lot of extra frustration just to wait by the gate instead of a little further down the hall at baggage claim.

e: Or maybe people just really want to have lunch at an airport restaurant where a burger and beer costs $40

The_Franz fucked around with this message at 18:32 on Feb 28, 2024

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:18

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

FMguru posted:

You have to be really, really certain that your partner is a doormat before pulling a stunt like that, and in that story the partner is not only not-a-doormat, but seems to possess the Spirit Of Pete. A rather astonishing misreading on the part of the (now ex) fiancee.

Yeah that was a pretty good "new phone, who's this?"

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:23

spookykid: Apr 28, 2006; I am an awkward fellow
after all

What are the odds that this is some cack-brained scheme by the old "college sisters" as some sort of relationship test? "Oh if you say you're on break but don't actually do anything you can see what kind of man he really is when you come back and do the grand reveal!"

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:31

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

AITA for rejecting my husband�s baby name suggestion?

quote:

I (27f) am pregnant with our first child, and we found out we�re having a girl. Naturally, my husband (28m) and I have been discussing baby names pretty much constantly. We�re sort of just throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks, and half the names we throw out are jokes. �Boot is a beautiful name for a baby girl ha ha ha� etc.

So, yesterday my husband came home from work all giddy and flushed with excitement, and he told me he had the name, this is the one, I�m gonna love it. I said great! Lay it on me! The name he was so over the moon for was Kyleena (for the unaware, this is the name of a brand of birth control). I laughed because I thought this was just another joke, and his face completely fell. He asked what was wrong with it, and I explained that Kyleena is a birth control brand. He still fought for it, insisting that we can spell it differently, people won�t make the connection, it�s a beautiful name, and, most importantly, he really loves it and he thinks this is the one. I said no, I am not naming my daughter after birth control. He said I was being an AH for not even considering this name that he had truly envisioned for our baby girl and left the room. I can tell he�s still upset that I rejected his name. He hasn�t mentioned any new names or made any jokes since, so I know he�s hung up on it. I just think it�s weird to name a baby after birth control. But anyway, AITA?

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:31

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

spookykid posted:

What are the odds that this is some cack-brained scheme by the old "college sisters" as some sort of relationship test? "Oh if you say you're on break but don't actually do anything you can see what kind of man he really is when you come back and do the grand reveal!"

There have been a surprising number of stories posted in this thread about people nuking a relationship simply because they saw some idea on tiktok and try to do the relationship test IRL and they find out that tiktok is not a great source of ideas or philosophy

This strikes me as one of those

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:32

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

spookykid posted:

What are the odds that this is some cack-brained scheme by the old "college sisters" as some sort of relationship test? "Oh if you say you're on break but don't actually do anything you can see what kind of man he really is when you come back and do the grand reveal!"

That was actually my first thought upon finding out it was a trip with college girlfriends. In some way the others were involved, whether it's a relationship test or actually being like "you'd better gently caress all the hot European guys you can before you're stuck having sex with only OP for the rest of your life!"

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:32

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Speaking as an European guy, we're exactly as boorish and disgusting as American guys. American girls, please don't blow up your otherwise good relationships for us. We're simply not worth it.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:36

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Shanghaied posted:

Speaking as an European guy, we're exactly as boorish and disgusting as American guys. American girls, please don't blow up your otherwise good relationships for us. We're simply not worth it.

I figured vacation flings were mostly based on mutual appreciation of accents and the fact that you never have to see each other again after.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:42

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Kenshin posted:

That was actually my first thought upon finding out it was a trip with college girlfriends. In some way the others were involved, whether it's a relationship test or actually being like "you'd better gently caress all the hot European guys you can before you're stuck having sex with only OP for the rest of your life!"

Yeah, I could see that. "Oh, if he really loves you, he'll understand and be waiting for you when you return!"

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:45

Pope Hilarius II: Nov 10, 2008

Shanghaied posted:

Speaking as an European guy, we're exactly as boorish and disgusting as American guys. American girls, please don't blow up your otherwise good relationships for us. We're simply not worth it.

no, we are disgusting in different, more sophisticated ways

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:50

DangerDongs: Nov 7, 2010; Grimey Drawer

titty_baby_ posted:

my friend at UCLA said the worst thing he witnessed was a young women in a short skirt coming back from.a night out with a guy. At the street corner she holds on to him for support, reaches down to pull her underwear aside, and pisses right onto the curb, and then they walk off pretending nothing happened

I watched my prom date do this to a tree. She then cried later, because one of our other friends got tagged for drinking.
Poor kid who got tagged never really drank or did drugs due to his older brother OD'ing, but his hot prom date convinced him. The principle wouldn't let me take him home, and they called his parents.

Lady goons, I would not recommend peeing in front of your date unless they request it.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 18:52

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Nocheez posted:

That's the kind of crazy that'll break into your house while you're asleep, and cut your penis in half. Long-wise.

Like a hotdog at a redneck bbq

# ? Feb 28, 2024 19:00

captainOrbital: Jan 23, 2003; Wrathchild!
💢🧒

DangerDongs posted:

Lady goons, I would not recommend peeing in front of your date unless they request it.

Sometimes you just need that Dean Pelton moment

# ? Feb 28, 2024 19:01

Propaniac: Nov 28, 2000; SUSHI ROULETTO!; College Slice

I[M24] made a word document with all the rules of valentines day, and now my GF[F23] is upset.

quote:

Okay, so.. here's the issue.

I've[M24] been with my GF[F23] for a year. We began our relationship on october 2022. When february 2023 came around, she told me that I had to ask her to be my valentine. I thought it was a bit odd, since we were already in a relationship, but I still asked her anyway another day by text.

Two days before valentines, she calls me crying because apparently I didn't ask her right. Apparently you have to do it in person or else it doesn't count. I didn't even know valentines day had rules so specific, but I stepped in to fix it anyway. I visited her a day before valentine, brought her a small gift and asked her to be my valentine. All good.

Now, a year later, february 2024, I remembered that I have to ask her to be my valentine. What I didn't remember is that it needed to be in person. She was sad that I didn't remember, so I stepped in again and fixed it. Picked her from work and gave her a small gift, asking her in person. Valentines day rolls in, I buy her five yellow flowers that I thought looked pretty, a vibrator, and a book that she likes but couldn't get. Everything on the date seemed alright, she seemed happy.

A week later, this sunday, she told me that she needed to talk to me, so we planned to talk on monday night as soon as I came home from college. I called her and she was crying. She told me that I should've remembered how I had to asker her to be my valentine from last year, how the flowers where the wrong color, how the flowers didn't even look like romantic flowers and just some flowers with a few leaves that I plucked from somewhere, how I should have given her a gift that she was actually waiting to recieve instead of a vibrator, etc.

At the end I just said that I will do better. To be honest, I didn't even know valentines day was so complicated, I didn't know there were so many specific rules and restrictions about what to do and what to gift. I have to ask her to be my valentine, but only if it's before valentines day and only if it's in person. I have to give her flowers, but only if they are red and only if they look like a romantic flower arrangement. I have to give her a gift, but only if it's a gift that she had previously mentiontioned that she wanted such gift and only if it can be showed to her mom.

Man... what the gently caress. I'm just trying to be a good boyfriend. Where does she get all of these specific rules and restrictions? Is this like a normal thing that women expect? where do they even learn all this?from rom cons and instagram reels? I'm not trying to be sexist, I just want to know where I can read the rules of this loving game.

This might sound like I don't love her. I do love her and she makes super happy, I'm just tired of being told that I'm doing things the wrong way. I really thought that being romantic was about the intention, not the action within a list of parameters. So today I made a Word Document in which I wrote every detail that I remembered.

I know, kinda weird, but I really needed to have all of these valentines day rules written somewhere. I don't want her to call me crying again because I forgot to wear the appropiate shoes or because the flowers didn't have the correct number of petals. I sent her the word document so she can verify that all the rules are written clearly, and she just got more upset because "this doesn't feel right : ( "

I don't understand how to do better.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 19:40

Nebrilos: Oct 9, 2012

BrigadierSensible posted:

WHOLESOME
AS
gently caress

Speaking of wholesome stories, does anyone have the story about a married couple raising their nephew at their farmhouse, because his parents were deliberately neglecting him, and then he starts referring to his aunt as his mother?

# ? Feb 28, 2024 19:44

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Propaniac posted:

I[M24] made a word document with all the rules of valentines day, and now my GF[F23] is upset.

Haven't read it yet but I LOVE the title

e: lol

# ? Feb 28, 2024 19:50

The Lord of Hats: Aug 22, 2010; Hello, yes! Is being very good day for posting, no?

Propaniac posted:

I[M24] made a word document with all the rules of valentines day, and now my GF[F23] is upset.

From the title I assumed this was going to be the other way around. As it is, man that's a horrible red flag of "you are assumed to be a mind-reader, and if you aren't it's your fault." There's no way that that doesn't crop up elsewhere in the relationship.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 19:51

selec: Sep 6, 2003

If you want it done right, but it needs to be done by somebody else, you aren�t allowed to complain on how they figure out what right looks like. You should embrace that in a partner! He is loving trying as best he knows how to!

# ? Feb 28, 2024 19:53

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Propaniac posted:

I[M24] made a word document with all the rules of valentines day, and now my GF[F23] is upset.

quote:

how the flowers didn't even look like romantic flowers

the gently caress does this even mean

# ? Feb 28, 2024 19:55

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Propaniac posted:

I[M24] made a word document with all the rules of valentines day, and now my GF[F23] is upset.

dump this stupid lady.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 19:55

DangerDongs: Nov 7, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Propaniac posted:

I[M24] made a word document with all the rules of valentines day, and now my GF[F23] is upset.

Have you asked her what she has done for YOU on Valentines. I would be so done with this the second she mentioned the flowers weren't right, and I would take that vibrator to a home that appreciates it.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 19:58

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

The Maroon Hawk posted:

the gently caress does this even mean

True love means buying RED ROSES at surge prices ONLY, I shouldn't have to tell you this.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 20:01

Stefan Prodan: Jan 7, 2002; I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you *Mrs* Buck Turgidson!; Grimey Drawer

lol I keep a note file of particular ways my wife likes things that I will never remember because they aren't logical in case I forget

Nothing on this level but just like ways I communicate that mean something different to her and she has a hard time hearing it the way I mean it or like little things around the house that I don't care about that she does, just to remind me

I am a proponent of relationship note taking, justice for this guy but also this lady sounds terrible

# ? Feb 28, 2024 20:03

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Yeah she is very obviously doing this deliberately, either as a poo poo-test or because having a big tearful breakdown and getting comforted is her ideal valentine's day to begin with

# ? Feb 28, 2024 20:04

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

True love means buying RED ROSES at surge prices ONLY, I shouldn't have to tell you this.

If you can't love me during roses at surge prices then you don't deserve me at roses during off hours.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 20:04

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Propaniac posted:

I[M24] made a word document with all the rules of valentines day, and now my GF[F23] is upset.

This one was already off to a great start, a commenter brought out the fact that the OP had already asked for advice on the fact that the GF spent the first ten months of the relationship hiding it from her family

# ? Feb 28, 2024 20:05

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

WIBTA if I (24F) refused to let my dad (54M) move in with me for cheating?

quote:

My dad got caught cheating on my stepmom. It was bad too and he wasn't honest with me about it initially. I had to find out the truth from my stepmom. Anyways this is the 4th woman my dad has done this to and my mother was the 2nd. I still hurt for my mom because he converted for her and then reverted back to his original religion causing my mom to get removed from her family because she was married to a man who wasn't of the same faith as her. He knew full well that my mom would be removed if he did but still choose to. Anyways he continued to cheat on my mom until I was 14 then he left the house to go live with his mom so he could be with the other woman. This background is important to note because I had thought he had gotten better but after all this these negative feelings have resurfaced.

My dad called me today and told me half truths and asked if he could move in with me for half a year until he gets back on his feet. I just want to point out my dad has always been a really good father to me and my brother but always been horribly lovely to my mom. I really don't want to have my dad move in with me because of the way he treats women. I'm worried that living with my dad as an adult will reveal things about him that I don't want to know. Like I'm worried he will treat me as a maid like he's treated other women and expect me to take care of him when he's capable of doing that himself.

Also I really appreciate any help and you guys reading through this. It might be really chaotic and hard to follow. If it is, thank you for bearing through it! I just found this all out today and I am internally panicking.

So would I be the rear end in a top hat if I refused to let my dad move in with me because he's a serial cheater?

Edit: this might be important but my dad can not work. He is disabled.

Double edit: I just found out the large sum of money I gave to him for bills (that he said needed to be paid) he used to buy nudes from women while with my stepmom. He will not be moving in with me. Thanks Reddit! 💕

# ? Feb 28, 2024 20:06

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

FMguru posted:

You have to be really, really certain that your partner is a doormat before pulling a stunt like that, and in that story the partner is not only not-a-doormat, but seems to possess the Spirit Of Pete. A rather astonishing misreading on the part of the (now ex) fiancee.

I think it's got to be the involvement of the friends. Not in any way that absolves her, I just can't see someone making that decision so confidently without others egging her on and old friends from a different part of her life fits that role. I know when I get together with my old college friends we get a bit childish, though not in a way that's affected any marriages. ...that I know of.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 20:08

The Lord of Hats: Aug 22, 2010; Hello, yes! Is being very good day for posting, no?

Bruceski posted:

I think it's got to be the involvement of the friends. Not in any way that absolves her, I just can't see someone making that decision so confidently without others egging her on and old friends from a different part of her life fits that role. I know when I get together with my old college friends we get a bit childish, though not in a way that's affected any marriages. ...that I know of.

Yeah, this reads a lot like that one story of the one woman whose friends constantly gave her lovely relationship advice that they didn�t follow themselves. She still blew up the relationship herself, but she didn�t have the original idea.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 20:44

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: Dec 28, 2007; Kiss this and hang

DangerDongs posted:

Have you asked her what she has done for YOU on Valentines. I would be so done with this the second she mentioned the flowers weren't right, and I would take that vibrator to a home that appreciates it.

And this is how Steak and Blow Job day was born.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 20:44

goatse guy: Jan 23, 2007; hello im back in ai buy me avatars plz :-*

The Maroon Hawk posted:

the gently caress does this even mean

There is an entire language of flower symbolism that was popular during the Victorian era. It is well-established in modern culture that a red rose symbolizes love, but back in ye olden times a yellow rose could symbolize a decrease in love or infidelity. A yellow hyacinth could symbolize jealousy, a yellow carnation was for disappointment, and lest we not forget the yellow chrysanthemum for slighted love. Giving one's partner a yellow flower could be akin to handing them a breakup note. The reddit OP is dating a Victorian ghost.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 20:50

TheDeadlyShoe: Feb 14, 2014

Keying in on 'only if i can show it to my mom'. That plus hiding the relationship for almost a year. Definitely feels like there's something unspoken going on where the girlfriend is being judged constantly by her mom (specifically, mom doesn't approve of BF and bludgeons her about it.) GF refuses to stand up to her mom, and is instead just dumping fault and blame on the BF.

# ? Feb 28, 2024 20:56

EightDeer: Dec 2, 2011

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Telling my GF we're together while my ship has white sails and broken up while it has black sails. During my trip I can blacksail all over and sleep with whoever I want, and then I can whitesail home and she'll be none the wiser. It's foolproof, as long as I remember to switch back to white sails before coming home it can't possibly go wrong.

So, what was Isolde's response?

# ? Feb 28, 2024 20:59

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Deformed Church posted:

I respect him for this but YTA for posting at this stage. I want the drama when she turns up at his home all mad that he abandoned her at the airport.

There are other comments from OP, apparently she gets home this week

quote:

Told my parents immediately they were shocked. Our friends I waited I shouldn't have, but I was embarrassed and depressed. Spent most of the last few weeks feeling sorry for myself and pain shopping. I sent out a message to our group chat informing them that our wedding and relationship are off. And my phone has been blowing up ever since.

quote:

She gets back Thursday afternoon. But she all of a sudden remembered she had a phone been calling all morning. Guess she saw the message to our friends group about our time together has come to a end.

Ballsy to unblock & start lighting up his phone after he talked to their friends. Wonder what she told them about the trip...

Propaniac posted:

I[M24] made a word document with all the rules of valentines day, and now my GF[F23] is upset.

Son of Sex Spreadsheet

# ? Feb 28, 2024 21:19

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 14:40

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

The Maroon Hawk posted:

the gently caress does this even mean

"If you think about it, getting you a rafflesia took more effort than just getting boring roses. Also rarer."

# ? Feb 28, 2024 21:20

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