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Cloacamazing! posted:No actually, if your friend's girlfriend comes up to you and says that you have to dance with her because she's dating your friend or she'll leave your party and take all of her friends with her, you're perfectly justified to say "lolnope". Except, as far as we know, she did not threaten to leave unless the OP's son danced with her? She asked for a dance. She left early, without making her presence conditional on dancing with the OP's son. Her children decided on their own to not go to the wedding. I think it's a pretty natural reaction to not want to be at a place when the host tells you they do not want to be around you. I'm not saying anyone did a particularly good job raising the OP's son. I'm just saying it's pretty weird how upset the son and the DIL were with the OP for leaving early. If they hate this woman so much, as they evidently do, then don't invite her, and don't be surprised that her husband doesn't come either. Or if you're gonna invite her, you can dance with her. Or don't and make up excuse about why you can't. The whole "I'm going to tell about how much I hate the woman you love, but you have to pretend that this does not upset you" thing is just bizarre.
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Mar 4, 2024 11:27
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It's not like she just wanted to dance with him while everyone else is dancing and having fun, she probably wanted the whole spectacle of an official mother-son dance with everyone standing around politely watching. Guessing she was a lot pushier about replacing his mom than op wants to admit to.
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Mar 4, 2024 11:34
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Jabor posted:People will in fact judge you for your actions, like peacing out of your daughter's dance recital because you're bored, or your son's wedding because your spouse is bored, and it's actually totally reasonable for them to do so. This just sounds like  Old mate probably should have kept his son's distaste for his partner to himself and encouraged his wife just to let it go but kids pathologically not liking their previous parent being replaced at all is very common. Disappointing as that may be to old mate, it is likely to never change.
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Mar 4, 2024 12:06
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I had the opposite happen, one time I was walking with my wife in a park and saw a coworker and then immediately held my wife's hand and later my wife was like "What was the deal with that, is she into you?"
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Mar 4, 2024 12:14
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FMguru posted:How to end your relationship with a single gesture:
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Mar 4, 2024 12:53
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John Wick of Dogs posted:I had the opposite happen, one time I was walking with my wife in a park and saw a coworker and then immediately held my wife's hand and later my wife was like "What was the deal with that, is she into you?" Well? Was she?
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Mar 4, 2024 13:43
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Shanghaied posted:Except, as far as we know, she did not threaten to leave unless the OP's son danced with her? She asked for a dance. She left early, without making her presence conditional on dancing with the OP's son. Her children decided on their own to not go to the wedding. I think it's a pretty natural reaction to not want to be at a place when the host tells you they do not want to be around you. This happened in the OP's own story after several attempts of making the son reconsider his initial answer of just a simple "No". If that had been his first reaction, it would definitely have been too much, but according to OP, his wife asked (fine), the son said no (fine), and then he was asked again (not fine). Same for the step siblings. They decided on their own not to attend after being told that their mother was hurt, but not given any details. Translation: They were influenced by the stepmother and told a version where she's entirely blameless. Finally, stepmother attends the wedding, where she feels horribly unwelcome and all, and doesn't realize this until exactly the point of the contested dance. Then, and only then, she realizes that she is unwelcome and leaves, taking OP with her, instead of just not attending at all. That's not the act of someone hurt, that's someone who wanted to make sure everybody knew she was hurt.
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Mar 4, 2024 14:25
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Stepmother also suggested that he dance with her and the grandmother at the same time. Like how the gently caress would that even work?
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Mar 4, 2024 15:03
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Stepmother also suggested that he dance with her and the grandmother at the same time. Like how the gently caress would that even work? "It Ain't Incest If It's A Three Way" just doesn't have the same ring to it.
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Mar 4, 2024 15:44
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Stepmother also suggested that he dance with her and the grandmother at the same time. Like how the gently caress would that even work? The Devil's Tango
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Mar 4, 2024 15:44
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I think that might be an inaccurate parsing of the phrase of “with both”.
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Mar 4, 2024 15:57
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If that's how she meant "with both" then her original suggestion would have been that he dance with her instead of the grandmother.
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Mar 4, 2024 16:00
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Pope Corky the IX posted:If that's how she meant "with both" then her original suggestion would have been that he dance with her instead of the grandmother. No? She could have misunderstood it as him saying he’s only having one [maternal figure] dance and tried to ask why he couldn’t do both. I’m not defending her, after the first ask she should’ve left it alone.
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Mar 4, 2024 16:03
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I think she asked if he could have one dance with her in addition to one with his grandmother and then asked if there was a reason he couldn't dance with both of them when he said no, but also I think that in the interest of fairness he should just do a conga with every guest.
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Mar 4, 2024 16:05
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AITA for kicking my brother out of my birthday party but allowing his girlfriend to stay?quote:I (15F) have always had a tight bond with my older brother, (24M). He raised me, as we were both in the same foster system before adoption. Anyways, My brother has been dating his now-fiancée (22F) for 3 years now. My whole family loves her and she is the perfect person for him. So, a couple days ago was my quinceañera. My sweet fifteen. Everything had been planned for about a year. The dress, the gigantic venue, (my mom decided to invite so many more people that I really wanted), the cake, everything. It was my special day and I was truly excited. Then my brother comes along. Halfway through my party, out of basically nowhere, He made the DJ play his girlfriend’s favourite slow song, and popped the question to her right there and then. Everyone was in shock, especially his girlfriend. She said yes, but i saw her run off to the bathrooms immediately after, not looking the happiest. I knew for a fact that she had stated to him multiple times that she wanted him to propose to her on their own time, since she’s generally really anxious around large groups of people, and all that attention being on her was upsetting. I went up to him after, pissed off about why he decided to propose to her at MY birthday, when for once, the day was about me, not him. He replied that it was ‘too much work’ to get the family all together himself, so he thought this was a good time. I reminded him that he and his girlfriend had a pre-planned trip to Mexico in two weeks, and asked him why he couldn’t just do it then on their own time. He replied that our aunt had made him feel bad for not considering proposing in front of family just because his girlfriend preferred to have that intimacy in private. So, he took her word, did not tell me or my mom, and decided to just do this. If he had told me in advance, I probably would have been okay with it, (I was kind of used to sharing the spotlight with him anyways) and that he knew this would put all of the attention on him, on my special day. And, he had previously stated to me that he did not want me playing a role in his wedding, as I was “too old for a flower girl and too young for a bridesmaid.” So, if he didn’t want me to play a part in his wedding, why did he now play a part at my birthday? I got upset and went to the bathrooms to check on his fiancée. She was crying when I got there, and we talked out our anger and anxiety for a while. She wanted something private, I wanted to finally have my own celebration. He hurt both of us, so the two of us + my mom kicked him out, and he looked extremely hurt and cried and started apologizing. We still kicked him out, and he was offended that his fiancée could stay but he couldn’t. I never wanted to be the reason he cried, so I cried after, feeling upset and stuck between feelings. So, I wanted to know opinions on how this was handled and AITA?
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Mar 4, 2024 16:09
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Stepmother also suggested that he dance with her and the grandmother at the same time. Like how the gently caress would that even work?
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Mar 4, 2024 16:11
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DreamingofRoses posted:AITA for kicking my brother out of my birthday party but allowing his girlfriend to stay?
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Mar 4, 2024 16:15
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mystes posted:How dumb do you have to be to propose to someone in front of a huge group of people when they've specifically told you not to At least as dumb as that guy.
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Mar 4, 2024 16:16
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WIBTA for demanding my husband to sleep lessquote:I (21F) and my husband (25M) welcomed a beautiful baby boy just four weeks ago. I have absolutely loved being a mother, but I haven’t enjoyed the lack of sleep from it. I know it’s expected to have a lack of sleep with a newborn but it seems like I’m the only one with any lack of sleep. For context, my husband works third shift before having our son he slept two hours in the morning once his shift ended and five in the evening before his next shift began. This used to be sufficient enough and now it isn’t. I’m hard pressed to get a nap during the day for even an hour, and our baby is cluster feeding during the night so I maybe get three to four hours tops. I’m a SAHM and I’m so grateful to be able to do so but I’m not functioning at full capacity anymore. I do everything for our son; I feed him, bathe him, change almost every diaper just for my husband to hold him for five minutes max while I can at least shower. I have tried to discuss my concerns with my husband many times but it’s brushed off by him saying “you’re mama so that’s what you’re supposed to do” and maybe he is right. Just this weekend I did full baby duty while my husband got nine hours of sleep each night he was home while he even woke up at six in the morning to go fishing even though I told him I barely slept any that night. My question is, would I be the rear end in a top hat to demand him to sleep less? He is the provider for our family and I do want him rested but I am struggling. Bonus comment: quote:I am a first time parent, my husband is not. I do struggle with PPA and PPD so getting down the concept of “sleep when baby sleeps” has been quite difficult.
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Mar 4, 2024 16:38
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Clocks posted:What I don't get about the "on a break" homegirl is like... ok, she could have just not given him a heads up she was about to mega-cheat on him, and went around europe for six weeks having a grand old time. But part of her plan seemed to have been the blocking his rear end that whole time? I guess so he couldn't argue with her and she could present him with some bullshit justifications when she came back? But If I was in a relationship where I was ready to marry someone and they flat out said "hey we're just not gonna talk for the next 1.5 months" then I would also take that as a break-up cue. MagusofStars posted:I assume the thought process was that she could go on a break, have all the wild European sex she wanted, come back spouting some bullshit about how she did some self-reflection and knows what she wants now, then he'd be so happy about reconciling that he'd just fling himself back in her arms...and of course since they were on a break (#RossAndRachel), he couldn't get mad about the wild European sex when they were on a break so it wouldn't cause any problems. Like Pete, OP foresaw this and didn't hesitate to do the right thing. She just thought she had enough leverage to get away with this and wildly overplayed her hand.
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Mar 4, 2024 16:40
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DreamingofRoses posted:WIBTA for demanding my husband to sleep less Lmao he left his wife and newborn to go fishing, I wonder what happened to his first marriage
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Mar 4, 2024 16:41
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DreamingofRoses posted:WIBTA for demanding my husband to sleep less That's weird, I wonder why her husband's previous children and their mother are not in the picture anymore. I assume a tragic accident was involved, something that was nobody's fault in particular.
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Mar 4, 2024 16:41
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AITA for telling my wife that she would be infinitely more useful cooking and cleaning than chasing her dream?quote:I’m 39 and male. My wife is 36. We have two sons, 5 and 3.
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Mar 4, 2024 16:51
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If she finally blows up on Insta as a divorce influencer he’ll have made the right choice
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Mar 4, 2024 16:54
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ApplesandOranges posted:AITA for telling my wife that she would be infinitely more useful cooking and cleaning than chasing her dream?
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Mar 4, 2024 16:54
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mystes posted:Well he certainly picked the absolute worst possible way by far to ask her to split the household chores with him more evenly My thoughts too, on one hand she's not being productive around the house, on the other he literally told a woman to get in the kitchen. Everyone sucks. Even if they can afford the lounging about.
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Mar 4, 2024 16:56
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Instagram reverted that lady's mind back 20 good years. She is now a highschooler stressing over social media. What a clown.
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Mar 4, 2024 17:11
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Ensign Expendable posted:Lmao he left his wife and newborn to go fishing, I wonder what happened to his first marriage “Alright, let me take a look at my hat here and see how I’m doing. ‘Women want me’? Check that off, got it covered. ‘Fish fear me’? Hmm, I think we have a bit of work to do on that front.”
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Mar 4, 2024 17:26
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Jabor posted:People will in fact judge you for your actions, like peacing out of your daughter's dance recital because you're bored, or your son's wedding because your spouse is bored, and it's actually totally reasonable for them to do so. *walking out of my kid's fourth grade play* Yeah, and can you believe the poo poo they pass off as writing!?
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Mar 4, 2024 17:34
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mystes posted:Well he certainly picked the absolute worst possible way by far to ask her to split the household chores with him more evenly he's like the genderbend versions of all those single moms tho (ie a single dad with a third dependent)
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Mar 4, 2024 18:03
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Grey Cat posted:My thoughts too, on one hand she's not being productive around the house, on the other he literally told a woman to get in the kitchen. If we reverse the genders here, and make the guy a loser who is trying to break into "twitch streaming" no one would give that girl poo poo for calling him a waste of space and to get a real job. I'm just saying that the guy here does everything while his wife pretends to be Barbie on her phone all day. He definitely could have gone about it much better, but 2 years of not making 1 cent and you don't even help around the house?  or  for Pete's sake.
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Mar 4, 2024 18:07
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Halloween Jack posted:Like Pete, OP foresaw this and didn't hesitate to do the right thing. She just thought she had enough leverage to get away with this and wildly overplayed her hand. The OP comes across (in the story and in his comments) as quite chill and laid back and get-along-to-go-along, and I wonder if the now-ex took that as a sign that he was a pushover, especially when he consented to her spending six weeks bouncing around Europe with her single girlfriends. Speaking of that story, there are a couple of updates from OP: quote:She is leaving letters for me with people she knows I will interact with. Like the security guy at my building. With my receptionist at work.
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Mar 4, 2024 18:16
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Literally A Person posted:*walking out of my kid's fourth grade play* Lol I didn't walk out but I went to a performance of the little mermaid my kid was in, I was clapping politely but the audience was doing big ovations any time Ariel sang a line loudly and the whole time I was thinking "Eh I've seen better fourth grade singers than this"
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Mar 4, 2024 18:19
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DangerDongs posted:"I am a normal person." Does she think all crazy people knew they were crazy before you know... losing it. Hell, lots of people with mental illness still aren't aware they have a mental illness. idk I've always definitely known I wasn't "normal"
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Mar 4, 2024 18:35
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I was repeatedly told, from a very young age, that I was "absolutely normal" - or, as they shortened it, "ab-normal".
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Mar 4, 2024 18:36
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GF gave me a list of things she expects from me being her BFquote:We’ve been seeing each other for a while now and it’s time to make our relationship official. We are in our 20s. But my gf told me she doesn’t settle for less due to the men in her family failing the women Really feels like the list is dialog from a bad movie. How can anyone think, "We seem to be in a good place with this and are going to keep things moving, let me just lay down the law like this"
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Mar 4, 2024 18:41
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Hughlander posted:GF gave me a list of things she expects from me being her BF That's a fantastic list. Present it at the first date so I know you're a complete waste of time. It's like a confederate flag on something. I actually like seeing them as they give me up-front information to know that they are a garbage human being.
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Mar 4, 2024 18:46
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Always down for some good barley talk with an old friend
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Mar 4, 2024 18:46
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Oh you'll like my old friend, she's ugly
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Mar 4, 2024 18:47
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the requirement there that wigs me out the most is “I won’t live with you until we’re married.” What the gently caress? So you won’t find out if you can tolerate living in the same house until you’ve signed a legal contract?
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Mar 4, 2024 18:50
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