Scientastic posted:

I’ve often wondered about this image, is it supposed to be showing that CEO actually do loads of work and are very important? Because I’ve never seen it used as anything other than an example of how they sponge off the hard work of others.

Agents are GO! posted:

They wanted Unicode dicks.

Barudak posted:

Our new business cards do not have our email or phone number or any contact information on them whatsoever so that "we aren't contacted by the public"

Outrail posted:

Taking disposable poo poo home like zip ties and gloves are a job perk. Just let them take a few boxes home the alternative is malicious compliance.

Darkest Auer posted:

Elissimpark posted:

I'm not sure I understand - what body? What man? I don't recall anything like THAT being found, however:



e: the new business card:

Domus posted:

We once received a unit for repair with only a business card attached that said:

Batman
Rides to the airport- $75

Now instead of telling people to send in their stuff with a business card, I have to spell out “Something that has your name, address, and phone number”.

Outrail posted:

Got so worked up about the teams AI thing so I clicked the 'submit feedback' link but it opened in edge instead of chrome and after hitting submit got a 'not logged in error cannot submit' andnthe text I wrote was lost so I closed edge and gave up. Microsoft in a nutshell.

Cyrano4747 posted:

Pay for storage? But how will I get my bonus and raise for saving money with JIT deliveries?

Ceciltron posted:

I have some down time so I will reflect on dumb poo poo the last place did. Please enjoy an exciting (boring) story:

Your team will be doing that now

So one of the major things about the place from my last post was that there seemed to be this weird secret subterfuge war between departments that involved trying to pawn off work. The leading example is hydraulic horses.

Hydraulic horses are vital to the machines we worked on, and cost quite a lot of money. Ordering them from the OEM or a hydraulic shop even is a waste of money. What you do is if you're lazy you have a fitting supplier come in and top up your bins to keep a certain inventory, refilling spools and doing maintenance on the crimping machinery. This method has a weak point of relying on mechanics to remember to charge their fittings.

When I got there there was some talk about moving the fittings to be with the parts department. Not a problem, I'd just cleared out a chunk of the second floor where we were keeping a bunch of broken microfiche machines and lawnmower blades for brands that haven't existed since the 90s.

Almost 10 months went buy from the first mention to a kind of panic state one morning. Paul Blart, Parts Clerk shows up boiling with anger in front of my desk, with my assistant manager (these two hate each other so it's got to be serious for them to be together here.)

"They're going to make us make hoses! We can't make horses! We're too busy"

He's right, and to top it off I don't *want* to make horses. We don't have the space for the crimping machine or a cutting bench (and the horses are metal wire embedded and wrapped, so they make a ton of nasty black smoke when you cut them) -it would take a whole ventilation system we didn't have. Our department was at the rear end end of a concrete brick extension of a barn that was a warehouse and got turned into an office in multiple stages.

At this point my assistant manager chimes in. "I'll quit. I'm not making horses".

I managed to calm everyone down and get a story.

Apparently an email was sent, company wide, announcing that the mechanics were going to begin disassembling the cutting bench, crimp machine and fittings cabinet and would we be so kind as to drive a forklift over and take posession of our new responsibility? At this point I'm annoyed, and when I'm annoyed I become very, very bureaucratic. I scan the email, word for word, until I find what I'm looking for.

The guy who sent them email didn't copy our mutual boss on it! He was trying to get everything moved over to us so that he could pretend it was an already done deal by the time the boss found out.

I forwarded the email to the boss-owner with my objections and within a few hours had everything in writing that no, we were not going to be assembling horses and cutting hose and suchlike.

Ceciltron posted:

Zip ties however were charged *by the zip tie*. That garage had serious issues I'm amazed I even managed to sort it mostly out.

Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

Dude from another department just used the term “dogfooding” when he meant to say “tested” when referring to a product we’re releasing. I mean, whatever but why did we need this word and why make it so viscerally kinda gross? Because developers are disgusting? Fair point.

Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

Dude from another department just used the term “dogfooding” when he meant to say “tested” when referring to a product we’re releasing. I mean, whatever but why did we need this word and why make it so viscerally kinda gross? Because developers are disgusting? Fair point.

NFX posted:

For some reason I read this as hydraulic horses all the way until "cutting hose" near the end. I was very confused but figured it was just some industry term like a sawhorse or something. I've updated the quoted text so that everyone can share in my mental state.

StrangersInTheNight posted:

lol expending the most amount of effort possible to track the cheapest of all the consumables on an individual scale

this is 'American insurance industry spending man hours tracking individual tongue depressors' levels of dumb

wash bucket posted:

I’ve always heard it as “eat your own dogfood” to describe using your own product. As in, make it good enough that you would want to use (eat) it.

TehRedWheelbarrow posted:

just out of curiousity (maybe just pm me if its too deraily) what got you worked up? one of my friends is principal of that department over at MS

Zopotantor posted:

I think the point was feeding it to your own dog, not eating it yourself.

zedprime posted:

Dog food magnates eating dog food is probably apocryphal but counterpoint: if you're an executive making lovely dog food there is nothing stopping you from feeding it to your own dog, an animal who will eat garbage.

Cthulu Carl posted:

One of the facilities guys came by asking for a dock and monitors because he wants to do some testing to see what kind of power draw every desk has... And then he finally got to his real motivation - dude wants a four day work week for everyone in the building and is going to use power savings to help justify it.

We immediately offered to help any way we can.

Methylethylaldehyde posted:

Also the executives in charge of making those decisions are sociopathic fuckwits, and they'd gladly feed the family dog poison if it made them their Q3 bonus.

Ceciltron posted:

To which they responded by using a prybar to open my desk and rifle through my paperwork looking for "crazy glue and copper anti-seize".

Chewbecca posted:

Since I started, 2 people I work with have either told me, or are in the process of completing those things after they've started or after they've returned from extended leave.

peanut posted:

Maybe it's a new policy starting Jan 2024.

TehRedWheelbarrow posted:

just out of curiousity (maybe just pm me if its too deraily) what got you worked up? one of my friends is principal of that department over at MS

Chewbecca posted:

Question for goons, over which I'm torn.

If you're required to get some kind of check done for your job (like a police check, working with children check, whatever the equivalent is where you are), when do you think this should happen?

Before I started my current role I had to do a police check which I had to curate stuff for, submit at a registered place, whatever. I did this last year in December for a job starting in January. Obviously in my own time, but not a huge deal.

Since I started, 2 people I work with have either told me, or are in the process of completing those things after they've started or after they've returned from extended leave. I was shocked cos I assumed HR would want it done before you started but I guess nobody checks? And both people used work time to complete this stuff? Probably not more than an hour or two, but still.

So am I the rube for completing this poo poo early on my own time? Or is this perhaps a little bit of piss taking happening?