r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Silly Newbie: Jul 25, 2007; How do I?

kimbo305 posted:

OP said 8 slices to a pie.

Yeah that's fair, no good way to cut a square pizza like that.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 06:52

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# ? May 30, 2024 01:14

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
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Captain Hygiene posted:

Yeast, it just read to me like they were fully letting it slide at the time rather than acknowledging it was an accident but expecting repayment. And I guess I'm not completely wrong, from the comments it sounds like they both just tacitly assumed the repayment part but didn't bother to actually say it out loud at the time. I guess it wouldn't be a reddit question if the people involved knew how to functionally communicate!

The last poster I expected to have excess Yeast.

Splicer fucked around with this message at 11:11 on Mar 10, 2024

# ? Mar 10, 2024 11:09

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: Dec 28, 2007; Kiss this and hang

InediblePenguin posted:

you're the one posting racism, YOU cite sources

Yeah, I'll take that on the chin. My (poorly expressed) point was there was a lot of 'Well I Heard' and 'anecdata' being tossed around and in an attempt to get specifics I added to the thing I wanted to dismantle.

Seems like people were about to retell the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lighthouse_and_naval_vessel_urban_legend

# ? Mar 10, 2024 15:28

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

AITA for trying to legally change my name?

quote:

I (F28) am currently going through the process of changing my name legally. Normally I wouldn't question at all but the reasoning behind it and some things that friends of mine have said have me unsure.

My first name is a traditionally Arabic name, and is a beautiful name in my opinion, but not for me. I have many memories of plane rides between my parents home states (they divorced when I was very young) and being called for "random searches" and then, when it was made apparent that I was a child, or so I believed until I was old enough to understand the real reasoning, being sent back to the plane terminal I was supposed to be at. This happened five or six times over the course of 3 years, until my parents were back in the same state.

I struggled over the years with phone calls and appointments with people believing I was Muslim until I was seen in person, and it was made apparent that I wasn't, and people would change their attitude toward me completely.

I struggled to understand what the issue was, why people treated my differently in person than over the phone, until I was attempting to do something related to the government, and they asked for my green card.

I am white. I was born and raised in the United States, and while I have nothing against people who weren't/aren't, that was when I decided that I was going to go through with it.

My dad was upset with me for this decision, because he chose my name. My mom, however, informed me when I explained dad was upset that not only was my first name Arabic on purpose, but paired with my middle name, it was the name of my dad's father's favorite strip club.

While I have other reasons as well, these were the deciding factors for me. I have been told by a few friends, however, that changing my name because of the racism I have received, despite not being the race I was perceived as, IS racist, because I am able to escape the racism by changing my name and those of the race I was perceived as can't. So, AITA?

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:13

YerDa Zabam: Aug 13, 2016

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I’ll eat pizza with you Lady and the Tramp style.

I'll eat spaghetti with you Requiem for a Dream style.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:28

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:

Yeah, I'll take that on the chin. My (poorly expressed) point was there was a lot of 'Well I Heard' and 'anecdata' being tossed around and in an attempt to get specifics I added to the thing I wanted to dismantle.

Seems like people were about to retell the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lighthouse_and_naval_vessel_urban_legend

it was a very interesting communication choice indeed for you to direct this concept 1.at a person who was specifically pushing back against a racist version of that narrative 2. by advancing a racist narrative. thanks for clarifying

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:29

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: Dec 28, 2007; Kiss this and hang

InediblePenguin posted:

it was a very interesting communication choice indeed for you to direct this concept 1.at a person who was specifically pushing back against a racist version of that narrative 2. by advancing a racist narrative. thanks for clarifying

I'm also really bad at doing the whole multiple quotes thing. :ignorance:

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:32

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:

I'm also really bad at doing the whole multiple quotes thing.

oh if you missed a quote i get it lol, i can see how that post would happen then. peace

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:36

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for trying to legally change my name?

What in the absolute screaming gently caress is this person's given name?

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:41

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for trying to legally change my name?

clicked the spoiler and my eyebrows raised so high it hurt

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:41

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Modal Auxiliary posted:

What in the absolute screaming gently caress is this person's given name?

Nadia Business? idfk

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:45

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Yeah, I'm dying to know the name that is so stereotypically Arabic that it gets you flagged even with a fully Western last name that someone also thought would be a good name for a strip club.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:48

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

So did mom know about this at the time and thought it was a good idea or only learn about it later and get convinced not to change it back then

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:49

Hoover Dam: Jun 17, 2003; red white and blue forever

the holy poopacy posted:

Yeah, I'm dying to know the name that is so stereotypically Arabic that it gets you flagged even with a fully Western last name that someone also thought would be a good name for a strip club.

Allah Verclothesoff

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:49

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

the holy poopacy posted:

Yeah, I'm dying to know the name that is so stereotypically Arabic that it gets you flagged even with a fully Western last name that someone also thought would be a good name for a strip club.

Not only that but it is also not so obvious that her first & middle are a strip club name that she ever figured it out. AND she was named after something but her parents, grandparents, and her aunts and uncles never told her.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:51

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Hoover Dam posted:

Allah Verclothesoff

ok my last one is "Nasim Onatall"

# ? Mar 10, 2024 16:52

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

Hoover Dam posted:

Allah Verclothesoff

# ? Mar 10, 2024 17:11

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

the holy poopacy posted:

Yeah, I'm dying to know the name that is so stereotypically Arabic that it gets you flagged even with a fully Western last name that someone also thought would be a good name for a strip club.

The only thing I can think of is that some Arabic names are fairly common among African Americans, mostly because of the black nationalism movement (e.g. Aisha, Aaliyah, Khadija, Samira, Tanisha etc), so uh, yeah.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 17:17

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for trying to legally change my name?

if her social group cares so much about white people with arabic names they can change their own to show support because calling someone racist for changing their name is not activism.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 17:32

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

AITA for threatening to not take my girlfriend as my +1 to a friend�s wedding over a wardrobe disagreement?

quote:

Two of my friends (Kate and Max, not real names) are getting married to each other, and I received an invitation that included loose guidelines for attire, not quite a strict dress code, but guidelines for men to wear a formal suit and tie with the �Please reach out with any questions� addendum. Because I tend to wear a nice 8 yard kilt with a Prince Charlie or Braemar jacket and waistcoat when I am wearing formal attire I reached out to Kate to ask if it would be appropriate and told my girlfriend (Sara, also a fake name) that I hoped I could wear my kilt.

Before I received a reply Sara told me that I absolutely cannot wear my kilt because it wouldn�t be appropriate for a formal attire, mind you she has seen me in my kilt and PC for other formal events. But she said that she would leave it if the bride said it was okay. So all was good for a few days. Until Kate responded that it was great because Max would also be wearing a kilt as would a handful of other people at the wedding.

Initially Sara insisted that I still shouldn�t wear a kilt because I would stand out too much because I wont be in the wedding party, until I pointed out that Kate explicitly said that she already knew some guests would be wearing kilts. But yesterday Max texted me because Sara had asked him to tell me not to wear my kilt, and he was weirded out because he knew that I would ask to wear my kilt and thought it was strange for her to ask him about it. I was kind of hurt and when I asked why she asked Max to tell me not to wear a kilt she said that she thought it was the only way to get me not to embarrass her.

I kind of get the embarrassment angle, I do sometimes get stares when I�m wearing a kilt in public, and I know that she is introverted. She also comes from a pretty conservative background and when we first met she hadn�t really encountered kilts before and she has had some misgivings about me wearing them in the past.

I admit I got kind of mad and told her that I didn�t have to bring her as my plus one, because I was the one who was invited. We got into an argument and she left pretty mad last night and I while I feel justified in my decision I also don�t know if I am in the wrong.

According to the comments, everyone's American. The groom's has one Scottish parent who immigrated to the US. The OP's connection is further back in time:

quote:

Great-grandparents on my mother's side, came over between the wars just after getting married. On my dad's side it is much farther back, and frankly a little less substantial because it was some time prior to the 1850s.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 17:34

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

pentyne posted:

if her social group cares so much about white people with arabic names they can change their own to show support because calling someone racist for changing their name is not activism.

i'm surprised that their social group didn't give them poo poo about having an arabic name while being white tbh, the response in the post makes me think they're the type to do so

# ? Mar 10, 2024 17:35

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

the holy poopacy posted:

Yeah, I'm dying to know the name that is so stereotypically Arabic that it gets you flagged even with a fully Western last name that someone also thought would be a good name for a strip club.

"Visions of Fatima"

# ? Mar 10, 2024 17:45

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

sullat posted:

"Visions of Fatima"

Tbqh if I worked border control, I'd stop a Fatima Vision McDermott every time too. It's just so weird that I wouldn't be able to help myself. I'd want to talk to her. Same if the person is named Pnurtis.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 17:53

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for bringing up my uncle-in-law's divorce when he wouldn't stop berating me?

quote:

In 2010, I (35F) was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. My GI recommended avoiding red meat to reduce inflammation. Over the years, I've just ended up nixing meat altogether and my body has responded extremely positively. I don't care if other people eat meat around me and I don't try to convert.

Yesterday, my partner's (34M, "Joel") parents hosted a family barbeque. There were about 30 people (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandkids). They're a lovely group with the exception of "Dave" (50sM) who is "that" uncle.

A few years back, "Dave" and his ex-wife (no longer part of the family) went through a nasty divorce. Dave is a raging alcoholic. There were affairs on both sides. Everyone knows.

One of the other habits I've developed over the years is eating standing up when it's appropriate. Predictably, Dave meanders over to me and starts mocking my "liberal food" and how I was eating, saying my standing was making everyone uncomfortable (it was a casual barbeque, I wasn't the only one standing). He tried to put some of his brisket on my plate saying he'd "convert me for my own good". This isn't his first anti-vegetarianism tirade he's aimed at me.

Finally, he took a bite of his burger and gave me a big grin while chewing, bits of still being chewed burger visible in teeth and says, "MMM! Meat!" and laughs, spewing food everywhere. I'd had enough. I said, "Y'know Uncle Dave, while we're on the topic of criticizing each other's life choices, you'd probably still be married if you'd gotten your drinking under control years ago instead of screwing the first waitress willing to fall that low."

Everyone within earshot fell quiet and stared. Dave said "I don't have to put up with this poo poo" and left.

The family is split by my outburst. The cousins (including Dave's kid) and Joel are all on my side. My MIL and FIL expressed discomfort, but think he had it coming. The aunts and uncles, however, have bombarded me with texts stating how inappropriate and cruel I was and I shouldn't expect invites if that's how I was going to act.

AITA? Did I go too far?

**Edit:** Added small pieces of context that wouldn't fit the original post character count.

**Edit #2:** Thank you all for the feedback, including the ESHs. A lot of you have brought up some really great points I plan on \[tactfully\] bringing up with the extended in-laws (along with a few great one-liners I will be saving). **Update (kinda):** My SIL swayed one of the aunts who is apparently convincing her husband to turncoat. I got a private text from her that said, "After thinking about it, I really don't know how this has happened sooner." Along with some sentimental stuff. I also got a text from one of the cousins that said, "LMFAO THIS YOU!?" With a link to this Reddit post so... Uhh... Hi, Long-Johns, if you're out there somewhere.

**Edit #3:** Answers to some recurring points/questions:

* Dave knows I have Crohn's
* Unfortunately, the line wasn't off the top of my head. It was a version of something I told my partner after the last time this happened that was fine-tuned via imaginary shower arguments. Just feels weird to be complimented on a non-existing quick-wit.
* Another Dave moment that explains why it's been historically difficult to just tell him to "stop":[ SIL's pregnancy comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAssh...nt=share_button)

Also, now multiple cousins are lurking in here and sending me screenshots of their favorite comments and at least two of them have changed "Dave" in their contacts list to "Drunkle D-". That was truly a gift.

Get hosed Dave.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 17:55

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

sullat posted:

"Visions of Fatima"

"Jasmine Titzout"

# ? Mar 10, 2024 17:55

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

AITA for making a "No Vaping" rule in my apartment?

quote:

So sorry if this is a weird thing to ask. I've just had mixed reactions to this from my friends so why not ask total strangers online?

I have an apartment with one other roommate for school. We both (22 M) hate the smell of things like carts, vapes, cigarettes, etc. I also personally hate anything with nicotine because of how addictive it is. I've seen what it does to people and personally I just don't want that stuff in my house. Since none of our friends smoke cigarettes or vape, we never really made a rule about it. Well my spring break was last week and my younger sister (21 F) came to visit for a weekend.

She kept hitting her vape. It was like it was just second nature for her to grab the thing and take a hit. I asked her to stop because the smell was bothering me and while she apologized, she kept getting defensive about hitting it so much because she can't just go cold turkey for a weekend. Honestly, that's fair. While I've never experienced withdrawal from nicotine, I have experienced withdrawal from some antidepressants and it's horrible. I'd never wish that onto anyone.

But because it was still bothering me, I went to my roommate about adding No Vaping to our official house rules. He was cool with it because we both don't like having that stuff in our space. Since we agreed to add that, I texted my sister. The text was brief and I just explained that if she came to visit again this semester, she couldn't vape here anymore.

Well.. She blew up at me about it. She reminded me that withdrawal is horrible and so she can't just give it up for a weekend to see me. She also said that it's not that big of a deal and that she'll just use it in the bathroom if it bugs me that much. Her reaction honestly just made me want to enforce the rule further. But at the same time I feel bad because I'm basically forcing her to stop doing something just because I don't like it. I'm not trying to be some guardian angel helping people end their nicotine addiction, nor am I asking her to stop Vaping completely. I don't want to not allow my sister into my apartment over some flavored air. I just don't want that trash in my apartment.

I later went to some friends and their responses are mixed. A few of my friends said stuff along the lines of how I'm just setting a boundary, similar to someone who doesn't drink asking his guests not to drink only while they are in his home. But other friends are saying that I'm trying to force my opinions on Vaping onto my sister, or I'm trying to force her to quit vaping. That's not what I want to do though. We're both adults and while I'm not happy she vapes, it's not my place to act all high and mighty. She's her own person and she can do what she wants. I just don't want some things to happen in my house.

So AITA For not allowing Vaping in my apartment?

EDIT!!! My sister is more than welcome to step outside. I didn't think of it as an option because I'm worried it's unreadable to ask since I live on the 5th floor of my building.

2nd EDIT!!! I just checked my lease and smoking of any kind is not permitted anywhere on the property. Thank you all for reminding me to check that!

Lmao "I'm worried it's unreadable to ask since I live on the 5th floor of my building" lol. I lived on the 19th floor of a building and went out to smoke. Because I wasn't a disgusting goblin who smoked indoors.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 18:07

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

It�s amazing to me that people will go outside to have a cigarette all by themselves but some people with a vape will sit on the couch in the middle of someone�s living room and just start blowing clouds that smell like blueberry assholes.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 18:20

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Shanghaied posted:

AITA for threatening to not take my girlfriend as my +1 to a friend�s wedding over a wardrobe disagreement?

According to the comments, everyone's American. The groom's has one Scottish parent who immigrated to the US. The OP's connection is further back in time:

Okay, the American kilt wearing made me lol, but I also don't think it's a particularly big deal if OP checked with the wedding couple, who are the ones who actually get to set the dress code.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 18:36

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Sounds like the GF hates the kilt, and she's probably right.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 18:41

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Kilt guys are ALWAYS hosed up in worse ways.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 18:46

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

Pope Corky the IX posted:

It�s amazing to me that people will go outside to have a cigarette all by themselves but some people with a vape will sit on the couch in the middle of someone�s living room and just start blowing clouds that smell like blueberry assholes.

I have not spent any time around vapers or smokers in years, do nicotine vapes actually smell like cigarettes+a scent, or is it just a dose of an artificial smell/flavor agent, in this case blueberries?

# ? Mar 10, 2024 18:51

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Shanghaied posted:

AITA for making a "No Vaping" rule in my apartment?

Lmao "I'm worried it's unreadable to ask since I live on the 5th floor of my building" lol. I lived on the 19th floor of a building and went out to smoke. Because I wasn't a disgusting goblin who smoked indoors.

The wisdom of the elders is at risk of being lost, today's youth never saw the yellow streaks on gram-gram's walls or the slightly tacky feeling all the wood furniture had so they are oblivious to just how gross smoking inside actually gets.

Biplane posted:

Kilt guys are ALWAYS hosed up in worse ways.

It's 100% about wanting to have your dong open to the breeze in public, isn't it

# ? Mar 10, 2024 18:59

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Never worn a kilt myself but every person I've ever run into wearing a kilt has been really nice and not caused any trouble whatsoever

# ? Mar 10, 2024 19:02

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Biplane posted:

Kilt guys are ALWAYS hosed up in worse ways.

She's dating a kilt guy, it's a kilt guy wedding, his friends are all kilt guys. Even if he doesn't wear the kilt this one time he's still a kilt guy. Does she want a kilt guy or not?

# ? Mar 10, 2024 19:11

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

rotinaj posted:

I have not spent any time around vapers or smokers in years, do nicotine vapes actually smell like cigarettes+a scent, or is it just a dose of an artificial smell/flavor agent, in this case blueberries?

Nicotine itself is odourless, but dried tobacco and burning tobacco both have distinct smells. You can buy vape fluids that's just "tobacco" flavoured or completely flavourless, but in my experience they are not common. Most vapers choose some kind of fruit or candy flavour.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 19:15

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Vim Fuego posted:

She's dating a kilt guy, it's a kilt guy wedding, his friends are all kilt guys. Even if he doesn't wear the kilt this one time he's still a kilt guy. Does she want a kilt guy or not?

OP thinks kilts look good on him, and would like to kilt more often if it were more socially acceptable.

quote:

I am an American of Scottish decent, and kilts are (in my experience) not terribly uncommon as formal attire, and to be honest it was the groom who got me wearing kilts several years ago, whereupon I discovered that they are more comfortable and look better on me than suits do.

quote:

If I could afford to and my bosses were okay with it I would wear a kilt way more often.

I leave it up to the readers to decide whether this makes the OP a kilt guy.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 19:19

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

rotinaj posted:

I have not spent any time around vapers or smokers in years, do nicotine vapes actually smell like cigarettes+a scent, or is it just a dose of an artificial smell/flavor agent, in this case blueberries?

It's the latter, and there aren't the same concerns about second-hand smoke or staining everything around.

But who cares? It's his space, he can set the rules in there. If he wanted to set an apartment rule about not spraying perfumes or air fresheners it would be about similar and just as reasonable.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 19:21

Pantaloon Pontiff: Jun 25, 2023

the holy poopacy posted:

The wisdom of the elders is at risk of being lost, today's youth never saw the yellow streaks on gram-gram's walls or the slightly tacky feeling all the wood furniture had so they are blivious to just how gross smoking inside actually gets.

I had a friend who moved into an old (originally built in the 1820s) farm house.The previous residents had put in drop ceilings to cut down heating bills and also smoked inside. When my friend moved in he took out the ceilings because office-type ceilings in an old-style house really don't look right. Until he was able to repaint, the walls were a dusky yellow up to 8 feet or so, then a fresh white because of the stains from smoking, it was a really stark contrast.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 19:26

littleratbastard: Aug 18, 2018

Why is it bad to wear a kilt? Asking genuinely- especially if it�s something his friend introduced to him, what�s so wrong about wearing skirt but it�s got a layer of social buffer between you and gender expectations. Never worn one myself, but they look rather nice in all the photos I�ve seen.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 19:32

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# ? May 30, 2024 01:14

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

littleratbastard posted:

Why is it bad to wear a kilt? Asking genuinely- especially if it�s something his friend introduced to him, what�s so wrong about wearing skirt but it�s got a layer of social buffer between you and gender expectations. Never worn one myself, but they look rather nice in all the photos I�ve seen.

It's like anything, some guys get weird about being Kilt Guys and make it some weird facet of their being. There's a difference between being a guy who wears a kilt and being a Kilt Guy.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 19:34

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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