UKMT Spring 2024 - Panic! in the Tea Room - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT Spring 2024 - Panic! in the Tea Room

(Thread IKs: OwlFancier, crispix)

Bozza: Mar 5, 2004; "I'm a really useful engine!"

finally thank gently caress

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-68576448

bbc posted:

Bus services in the west of Scotland are set to be brought back under local control under radical plans.

The current deregulated network could be replaced with a franchise system like the ones in London and Manchester.

This means fares, routes and ticketing would be controlled by a local public body such as Strathclyde Partnership for Transport (SPT).

However, SPT has said it could take seven years to set up and would need at least £45m in extra funding every year.

In the meantime, Bus Service Improvement Partnerships (BSIPs) will be introduced, where contracts are put in place with bus firms to run services.

These allow a local transport authority like SPT to impose a minimum frequency for services and a cap on fares.

But they cannot set routes or the actual fares.

SPT predict this will require at least 200 more buses across the region and a multi-million pound subsidy.

The authority predicts they could be put in place within 12 months.

Reform recommendations were approved at an SPT meeting earlier. It said it would consult widely on the recommendations over the next few months.

Under the planned franchise system, bus firms would have to bid for contracts within an approved network.

A public body, such as SPT, would set the precise routes, the timetable, the frequency and take in fares.

It means that routes with lower patronage are subsidised by busier, more popular routes.

But bus operator McGills has warned that introducing a franchise system will create a "funding black hole for taxpayers".

Deregulation, which was introduced by Margaret Thatcher in 1986, was meant to drive down fares and improve services amid competition, but has led to complaints about fewer services, punctuality and higher costs.

more in the link but its mostly the absolute highway robbers at McGills moaning about how they are gonna sue SPT

# ? Mar 15, 2024 17:35

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# ? May 24, 2024 01:50

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Funny how privatisation was meant to lower costs and improve efficiency, patently did not do that, and now nationalising the same stuff is unthinkable socialism.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 17:39

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

It's a funding black hole for tax payers, unlike of course the all-devouring black hole of profit from running it privately.

It's like an extra quid per household a year to not have to spend five quid every time you want to go to the shops (and yes this includes car owners if you factor in things like park and ride).

# ? Mar 15, 2024 17:55

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

Bozza posted:

finally thank gently caress

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-68576448

more in the link but its mostly the absolute highway robbers at McGills moaning about how they are gonna sue SPT

I liked in 2022 when McGill bought First's network in Lothian & shuttered it in within a year crying that they couldn't compete with the Lothian Buses service run by Edinburgh Council.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 17:56

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

it is red nose day did yous wear funny nose and head shave bath of beans for to raise money for the starving children in africa hehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehe :holy:

# ? Mar 15, 2024 18:28

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

for red nose day im going to drink an entire bottle of vodka and die

# ? Mar 15, 2024 19:04

Julio Cruz: May 19, 2006

Bozza posted:

finally thank gently caress

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-68576448

more in the link but its mostly the absolute highway robbers at McGills moaning about how they are gonna sue SPT

gonna use public money to get it back to an acceptable level of service and then sell it back off as soon as it�s profitable again

# ? Mar 15, 2024 19:04

Starbucks: Jul 7, 2002; Your daily cup of fuck you.

crispix posted:

it is red nose day did yous wear funny nose and head shave bath of beans for to raise money for the starving children in africa hehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH_hVXoeqH8

# ? Mar 15, 2024 19:08

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

crispix posted:

it is red nose day did yous wear funny nose and head shave bath of beans for to raise money for the starving children in africa hehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehe

I've been STONKing all day

https://twitter.com/dank_ackroyd/status/1768574897612001488?t=5lG9XciEqEhm-m_gCdTipg&s=19

# ? Mar 15, 2024 19:12

Convex: Aug 19, 2010

Failed Imagineer posted:

I've been STONKing all day

https://twitter.com/dank_ackroyd/status/1768574897612001488?t=5lG9XciEqEhm-m_gCdTipg&s=19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VQxiVUjQgk

# ? Mar 15, 2024 19:16

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

and a sad bit with joanna lumley comes on and she sits in front of someone whose life is right shite and she tells us that this person in front of her's life is right shite, only she gets paid loads for doing it because she says it all posh like

# ? Mar 15, 2024 19:20

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

crispix posted:

it is red nose day did yous wear funny nose and head shave bath of beans for to raise money for the starving children in africa hehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehe

I have a cold and went for a run in the rain so my nose is suitably red thanks.

Who can afford a bath of beans in this economy?

# ? Mar 15, 2024 19:30

DreddyMatt: Nov 25, 2002; MY LACK OF KNOWLEDGE OF CURRENT EVENTS IS EXCEEDED ONLY BY MY UNQUENCHABLE THIRST FOR PISS. FUK U AMERIKKKA!!

Bobby Deluxe posted:

for red nose day im going to drink an entire bottle of vodka and die

I'll sponsor you for a fiver
Can you get some beans involved?

# ? Mar 15, 2024 19:33

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

sebzilla posted:

Who can afford a bath of beans in this economy?

This is why you livestream it and get bean-perverts to subsidise you

E:^^^°° see what I mean

# ? Mar 15, 2024 19:33

Tai: Mar 8, 2006

Ahhh red nose day. The day the nation gets to together to celebrate giving money to poor kids because everyone in power are grifting cunts.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 19:39

Marenghi: Oct 16, 2008; Don't trust the liberals,
they will betray you

smellmycheese posted:

All extremely normal

Will having the time of his life. Kate's there just out of frame, laughing too

# ? Mar 15, 2024 19:50

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

My "wife has left the house a few times" press release has people asking questions already answered by the press release.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 20:08

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

The twitter hive mind noticed that William was seen with bruises on his neck a few days after his good friend died of a shotgun overdose to the head

The photo on the right is 13 days after the one on the left. The faded bruise remains. The neck bruise would be also around the same time that Princess Anne's husband sported a black eye.

fuctifino fucked around with this message at 20:34 on Mar 15, 2024

# ? Mar 15, 2024 20:15

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Following the recent naan chat I made some naans and then, subsequent to that, loving inhaled them with a curry :yum:

# ? Mar 15, 2024 20:20

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Looks like halloumi ngl.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 20:22

Jakabite: Jul 31, 2010

MULTI KILL
MEGA KILL
KILLING SPREE
HOOLLLYYY poo poo
PRINCE OF WAAAALSE-IAN

# ? Mar 15, 2024 20:23

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Why is he wearing a kippah?

E: oh apparently you wear them when you visit a synagogue. Makes sense.

OwlFancier fucked around with this message at 20:29 on Mar 15, 2024

# ? Mar 15, 2024 20:26

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

Once Kate's body parts start emerging, they will make immigrants the scape goat, mark my words. They did the same with Jack the Ripper who was also a member of the royal family.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 20:30

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

OwlFancier posted:

Why is he wearing a kippah?

E: oh apparently you wear them when you visit a synagogue. Makes sense.

no that's just what THEY want you to believe *wheels in corkboard made entirely of corks from wine I drank in the past 24 hours* just look at these charts

# ? Mar 15, 2024 20:32

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

The most read story on the BBC is Billie Piper: Actress speaks out over dealing with comments by ex-husband Laurence Fox

quote:

"I've had to make some choices and a divorce speaks for itself," she said.

The entire story is mostly a journalist making a story with very little input from Billie herself. But it's resulted in Fox writing a very tl;dr coke driven reply: https://twitter.com/LozzaFox/status/1768700675670638884

# ? Mar 15, 2024 20:39

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

He can't be that far away from donning a SpiderMan costume and trying to climb the Shard for Dad's Rights Awareness

# ? Mar 15, 2024 20:47

Just Another Lurker: May 1, 2009

fuctifino posted:

The twitter hive mind noticed that William was seen with bruises on his neck a few days after his good friend died of a shotgun overdose to the head

The photo on the right is 13 days after the one on the left. The faded bruise remains. The neck bruise would be also around the same time that Princess Anne's husband sported a black eye.

That bruise is caused by the harness he wears when getting pegged.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 20:49

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

That hat suits him, he should wear it more often.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 20:52

DreddyMatt: Nov 25, 2002; MY LACK OF KNOWLEDGE OF CURRENT EVENTS IS EXCEEDED ONLY BY MY UNQUENCHABLE THIRST FOR PISS. FUK U AMERIKKKA!!

Failed Imagineer posted:

This is why you livestream it and get bean-perverts to subsidise you

E:^^^°° see what I mean

Hey, I'm not a bean pervert

# ? Mar 15, 2024 21:06

Starbucks: Jul 7, 2002; Your daily cup of fuck you.

Chris Evans and Lawrence Fox, I guess complete dickhead is a type.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 21:20

Pistol_Pete: Sep 15, 2007; Oven Wrangler

keep punching joe posted:

That hat suits him, he should wear it more often.

the heir to the throne is forbidden to go buzzcut: he's required to stick with the '1960's bank manager combover' look, the poor bastard.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 21:55

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

I've never understood that. But I guess it could be the source of his murderous rage

# ? Mar 15, 2024 21:56

Lady Demelza: Dec 29, 2009; Lipstick Apathy

What is the best watermelon vodka? I had some in Poland and loved it but apparently it was a limited edition.

No recipes for making my own please; I want to guzzle from the bottle immediately I procure it, not wait a fortnight for fruit to dribble into the alcohol.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 22:39

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

Sounds like you want an alcopop grandma. Not sure those exist anymore.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 22:41

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Speaking from extensive experience the best version of any of these kinds of flavoured spirit is "the one you can get ahold of this instant."

Absolut Watermelon is at least a baseline for you to work from.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 22:42

Mebh: May 10, 2010

Lady Demelza posted:

What is the best watermelon vodka? I had some in Poland and loved it but apparently it was a limited edition.

No recipes for making my own please; I want to guzzle from the bottle immediately I procure it, not wait a fortnight for fruit to dribble into the alcohol.

You probably want Soplica. They do a lot of different flavoured vodkas and gins and they're really nice. It's "only" 28% so you can drink it neat easily.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 22:48