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   Now he's Plastichand
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Mar 15, 2024 18:45
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"You laughed at my hands Spider-Man! But you didn't consider that the meaning of 'plastic' is 'moldable'! *reveals large stabby spikes*
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Mar 15, 2024 18:48
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Uh Pete, where you going bud? Hammerhand is still twice the wardens size and they have no car, is the little guy just supposed to drag him back to prison?
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Mar 15, 2024 18:54
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Prison Doctor: he said what? Do I look like I have a Boston Dynamics budget? Here *screws on two rusty metal hooks*
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Mar 15, 2024 18:54
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Ikasuhito posted:Uh Pete, where you going bud? Hammerhand is still twice the wardens size and they have no car, is the little guy just supposed to drag him back to prison? A lovely 5 hour stroll where nothing can go wrong.
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Mar 15, 2024 18:55
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I figure the warden can always explain that a handless man would find it hard to find sustenance as he hides from the police in the wilderness.
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Mar 15, 2024 19:02
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Ikasuhito posted:Uh Pete, where you going bud? Hammerhand is still twice the wardens size and they have no car, is the little guy just supposed to drag him back to prison? *taps thread title*
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Mar 15, 2024 21:24
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And even still, I wonder if Hammerhands could claim innocence. Just that he panicked, from seeing Spider-Man, who had previously traumatized him. It's not like there's any physical evidence left in his scrap-metaled hands.
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Mar 15, 2024 22:33
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So... is Peter gonna get Aunt May's money back or did he forget that's the entire reason he's there?
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Mar 16, 2024 00:06
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Is Pete just ... loving around with a yo-yo there? What the hell is that?
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Mar 16, 2024 00:17
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Jerusalem posted:So... is Peter gonna get Aunt May's money back or did he forget that's the entire reason he's there? Sadly the sole account decryption key was stored inside Hammerhand's hammer hands. Better luck next time, Spidey!
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Mar 16, 2024 00:19
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Hammer hand: beats the poo poo out of Peter with his massive metallic hands Writer: Uhhh... gently caress. How does he get out of this? Oh I know! Hammer hand: hands are now able to be bent into funny directions and apparently lose most of their mass? Spider Man: hah! All I had to do was bend those hands, and suddenly they're not 40lb mallets, somehow! Hammer hand: Blast! You discovered my weakness: bending my massive hammer hands suddenly makes them into nearly weightless tin foil! I'll get you next time, spider man!  Honestly, NSM is like a wizard that has no idea what is happening and just accidentally changes reality to make things ok without even realizing it
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Mar 16, 2024 01:16
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S40CheckingAccount posted:And even still, I wonder if Hammerhands could claim innocence. Just that he panicked, from seeing Spider-Man, who had previously traumatized him. It's not like there's any physical evidence left in his scrap-metaled hands. Sure, but he still took the warren hostage and escaped prison, dude's gonna get big extra jail time. The Hammergoons will probably notice a lack of hammerposts in the irc and will start spending Aunt May's money on frivolous poo poo
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Mar 16, 2024 01:51
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Hammerhand should just keep showing up with different crime hammerhands. Like there is a rash of people being hypnotized by eating omelets from a new restaurant, and when Spider-Man arrives he finds Hammerhand in the kitchen wearing a chef hat, and it turns out he installed evil whisks in his hands to make crime omelets.
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Mar 16, 2024 07:01
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Pulsarcat posted:Hammerhand should just keep showing up with different crime hammerhands. Condiment King is furiously scribbling notes in the corner
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Mar 16, 2024 07:09
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Mar 16, 2024 16:25
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Ikasuhito posted:I only wish I had the confidence of these physically average guys when they decide to throw down with Spider-Man. It's a common sentiment 
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Mar 16, 2024 16:30
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  Hey yeah what about Aunt May's life savings (and Peter and MJ's $100)?
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Mar 16, 2024 18:24
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Murdstone posted:
 now, much like their dog, there's a hacker villain somewhere in the comic, ready to show up out of nowhere when we least remember, or probably never show up once the writer forgets.e: hold on this is the origin for NEWSPAPER CYBERTOOTH https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Yen_Hsieh_(Earth-616) Some jobber in the main comics that fought the west coast avengers for 4 to 6 issues in 1991. Written by Roy Thomas
MorningMoon fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Mar 16, 2024 |
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Mar 16, 2024 18:27
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 at that villain nameI think Cyber-Tooth has reached a new level of obscurity online, I can't even find as much information as the small amount Hammerhand "did you mean: Hammerhead" has out there.
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Mar 16, 2024 18:37
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I love that the suspense in NSM is never "Oh golly! How is Spider-Man gonna get out of this pickle?!" but rather, "wait is Pete really just gonna forget about Aunt May's life savings and also leave a prison warden stranded several miles into the woods and also what about his rental car?"
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Mar 16, 2024 18:46
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Rentals hosed. It's a wonder any rental place let's Pete through the door with his history.
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Mar 16, 2024 18:55
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Lol, I forgot about the rental too. He deserves to be blacklisted for that one, aggressive illegal driving and attempting to pass unsafely. Better to stick to public transportation, Pete!
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Mar 16, 2024 19:00
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Mar 16, 2024 19:07
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she has a bunch of boyfriends. 70's mj makes no pretense of monogamy.
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Mar 16, 2024 19:09
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And considering how Peter is liable to keep running away with poor excuse I say: good for her.
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Mar 16, 2024 19:54
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Sockser posted:I love that the suspense in NSM is never "Oh golly! How is Spider-Man gonna get out of this pickle?!" It's fine. Peter knows that whenever he leaves a rental car somewhere, JJJ or some car thieves will come by and take it back for him.
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Mar 16, 2024 20:42
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Murdstone posted:
*stumbles into the room with pants around ankles* NEXT: CYBERTOOTH!! r... remember?
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Mar 16, 2024 20:55
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MorningMoon posted:e: hold on this is the origin for NEWSPAPER CYBERTOOTH https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Yen_Hsieh_(Earth-616) Oh my. Now this is a deep cut.
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Mar 16, 2024 21:04
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 I love how scattershot the site is with it's info. This seems to be the grand total of Hammerhand's physical contribution. (You will note that his name doesn't have a link to his own page) Meanwhile, Horace Smithson (the dude who convinced Spidey to help the fake charity) has his own character page. https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Horace_Smithson_(Earth-77013)
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Mar 16, 2024 21:31
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Wait Hammerhand's goon has a page, but not him.
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Mar 16, 2024 21:51
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Reminded me of NSM
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Mar 16, 2024 23:12
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The strip reminding us of the important lesson that people out of prison can never reform and will always go back to being criminals every single time without exception so it's a mistake to ever take a chance on hiring one.
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Mar 17, 2024 06:04
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And that's just the kind of tough-on-crime thinking we need from our next senator!
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Mar 17, 2024 06:09
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Mar 17, 2024 06:32
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Haifisch posted:And that's just the kind of tough-on-crime thinking we need from our next senator! Oh come on now Haifisch, when was the last time you heard a candidate for Senator saying they were pro-Law & Order?  It's just not something politicians do!
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Mar 17, 2024 08:00
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  Peter, love you taking action like this, but why'd you even tip the car then
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Mar 17, 2024 17:00
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MorningMoon posted:Peter, love you taking action like this, but why'd you even tip the car then You see, none of this would have worked out if the public didn't see Yates political career in SHAMBLES over an overturned car. In this universe, it's the belief that Yates may not be all that which gives an opening for Spidey to come to his office and find the criminal evidence needed to shut him down. It's the butterfly effect from chaos theory but stupider.
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Mar 17, 2024 17:06
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One of the top rules of criming is do not write down your crimes. I think it's only second to do not tell anyone about your crimes.  Apparently, he didn't.  Luckily, Hammerhand just kept the money in one spot nicely organized by victim.
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Mar 17, 2024 18:35
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Murdstone posted:
It's like how villains always make an antidote for their poison, or put a self destruct button in their doomsday device. In case of ???? press function to reimburse victims.
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Mar 17, 2024 18:53
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