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Jim uses his third and final genie wish on a magic remote control (the first two wishes were for DVD copies of Mars Needs Moms and Minions 2: the Rise of Gru). Jim secretes himself into the bushes outside Dwight's living room window. Dwight is inside, watching Battlestar Galactica. Jim peeks out of the bushes and wiggles his eyebrows at the camera for eight and a half minutes as his finger hovers over a big, red button on the remote control. As soon as the opening titles have concluded, Jim presses the red button, transporting Dwight into the show. Jim leaves Dwight trapped inside Battlestar Galactica and goes on a vacation to Disney World. Dwight endures deadly Cylon attacks, supply shortages, space accidents, and the political machinations of the various factions within the rag-tag fleet. Dwight is finally released when Jim accidentally sits on the (now forgotten and discarded) remote six weeks later. Dwight is expelled from the TV, where he sobs on the ground for several minutes, hugging his knees. Dwight can never watch Battlestar Galactica again without triggering crippling PTSD flashbacks. Jim smirks at the camera from several hundred feet away, forcing the camera to zoom and reacquire Jim's mugging face.
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Mar 17, 2024 15:57
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Mar 17, 2024 22:28
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no yes yes no no no yes yes yes yes yes yes no yes yes no no yes yes yes no
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Mar 17, 2024 23:23
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Jim removes the ribbon around Dwight's neck, causing Dwight's head to fall off
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Mar 18, 2024 00:24
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Jim removes the ribbon around Dwight's penis
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Mar 18, 2024 01:48
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Dwight walks into the office seeing ribbons around his mouse, his keyboard in a cross shape, tying his desk drawers closed and an intricate weave of ribbons around his office chair spiderwebbing around his armrests and around the back. He sits down carefully onto his chair and sags comfortably into the ribbon webbing. Dwight relaxes noticing he no longer feels the weight on his back or his thighs, just sitting calmly enjoying his weightlessness. Jim smirks as Dwight's desk phone rings while the receiver is tied down by ribbon, Dwight sits motionless.
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Mar 18, 2024 04:00
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Jim licks all of the ribbon candy in Dwight's bowl before putting them back so that all the candies fuse into an impenetrable clump.
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Mar 18, 2024 04:13
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Jim gives Dwight a free movie ticket to see Madame Web before it leaves theatres. Dwight, not being one to waste a chance to see a movie on the big screen, thanks Jim for the tickets. Despite the negative reviews, Dwight finds himself glued to his seat for the entire movie. Literally. Dwight screams in vain for help from someone, but the theater is empty. Meanwhile, Jim dangles a spider in front of the light of the projector, casting a horrifying giant shadow across the screen. Hours later, Jim slathers himself up with a few gallons of melted butter so he can free Dwight, but finds his prey missing from the seat. Moving around, Jim finally finds that Dwight has ripped his (Dwight's) own body apart trying to escape the theater. Jim takes another swig from the jug of melted butter before dumping it on Dwight. Lubricated and released from the glue trap, Dwight weakly pulls his slippery mutilated body across the floor to the door of the theater. Jim then dumps a box of yellow salt all over Dwight before taking a swig from the box of that, as well.
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Mar 18, 2024 04:57
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For the fifth anniversary of the Fun pranks for Jim to play on Dwight thread, actress Kate Flannery is asked to tell of her experience as a witness to Jim's many pranks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A5VBL8d93c
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Mar 18, 2024 08:54
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Dwight walks into the office seeing ribbon seals around his mouse, his keyboard in a cross shape, wedging his desk drawers closed and an intricate pile of ribbon seals around his office chair heaped up around his armrests and around the back. Several of the seals are banana posing, which they do to signify contentment. He sits down carefully onto his chair and sags comfortably into the pile of seals. One of them idly flaps a flipper at him but generally there is little complaint. Dwight relaxes noticing he no longer feels the weight of human society, just sitting calmly enjoying communing with nature. Jim smirks as Dwight's desk phone rings, sending the seals into a frenzy. Dozens of them galumph off into the office corridors, crashing into filing cabinets and honking in confusion. Dwight sits motionless.
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Mar 18, 2024 10:06
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Jim replaces Dwight's sounding rod with a similar one but two sizes wider
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Mar 18, 2024 10:19
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Jim replaces Dwight's sounding rod with an Immovable Rod.
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Mar 18, 2024 10:25
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Jim replaces Dwight's sounding rod with Bust Rodd
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Mar 18, 2024 10:29
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Jim leaps out of the bushes and plays the Song of Forgetting on his Flute of Lassitude just as Dwight jumps off of the high dive to practice his perfect Triple Lindy. Dwight lands with a flop and splashes around in the water drowning until rescued by a lifeguard. When questioned later, he embarrassingly cannot explain why he tried to dive into the pool when he doesn’t know how to swim.
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Mar 18, 2024 11:51
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Flowers For Algeria posted:For the fifth anniversary of the Fun pranks for Jim to play on Dwight thread, actress Kate Flannery is asked to tell of her experience as a witness to Jim's many pranks. I can’t imagine what must be going through her head just reading this page
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Mar 18, 2024 12:09
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Flowers For Algeria posted:For the fifth anniversary of the Fun pranks for Jim to play on Dwight thread, actress Kate Flannery is asked to tell of her experience as a witness to Jim's many pranks. jesus
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Mar 18, 2024 12:39
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Flowers For Algeria posted:For the fifth anniversary of the Fun pranks for Jim to play on Dwight thread, actress Kate Flannery is asked to tell of her experience as a witness to Jim's many pranks. Jim puts Dwight on two different text threads with people Dwight doesn't know but who act like they know Dwight. The constant text alerts keep Dwight up all night so that the next day he's completely exhausted driving into work and isn't paying attention when he swings into the Dunder-Mifflin parking lot. Meredith must be taken to the hospital.
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Mar 18, 2024 12:49
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Flowers For Algeria posted:For the fifth anniversary of the Fun pranks for Jim to play on Dwight thread, actress Kate Flannery is asked to tell of her experience as a witness to Jim's many pranks. Meredith's hit new song "Fun Pranks for Jim to Play on Dwight" wins her the coveted " Best Amateur Performance" award at the All-Scranton Talent Show. Dwight sees real star potential in his coworker and mentions that she should try out for "one of those singing competitions". Jim, jealous that he's not the focus of Dwight's energies, instead tells Meredith that she should perform at the American Idol Experience at Disney Hollywood Studios in Orlando. "I thought they closed that thing down a decade ago? Do people even WATCH American Idol any more? Jesus, Jim, think for a minute!" Meredith says, irritated at Jim's response. "I'm... s-s-sorry," Jim responds, tears welling in his eyes. "I just... I just w-w-wanted to help!" 'Oh, you can help," Meredith replies. "You can help by shutting the gently caress up and keeping your little peanut gallery comments to yourself. ¿Comprende?"" As has been established several times before, Jim has no idea what Meredith is saying but feels too much shame to admit it. Instead he just quietly nods and starts googling "comprezzi word what does it mean" over and over again.
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Mar 18, 2024 12:52
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Taffy Jr. posted:Jim replaces Dwight's sounding rod with an Immovable Rod. Dwight goes on a cruise and Jim activates the immovable rod, breaching the hull and entire side of the ship, also Dwight's penis explodes into a fine mist
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Mar 18, 2024 12:59
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Apropos of nothing, Jim describes Dwight as "the Snake Plissken of the office" on a phone call. Dwight smiles and feels his pride swell, thinking that Jim has paid him a compliment. However, that's not his pride swelling, it's the micro explosives activating to sever his carotid artery. Jim chuckles to himself as Dwight collapses to the ground, clutching his neck and letting out a death rattle.
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Mar 18, 2024 13:06
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Jim tells Dwight he bought the glasses from They Live at an auction and they really work. He begs him to try them out, as they shows the world how it really is. Dwight, disbelieving but playing along wears the glasses. Through the glasses Jim looks identical to Dwight. Dwight lets out a shriek. 'Jim-Dwight' kicks Dwight in the nuts, who collapses into a heap. Jim picks up the glasses from beside the crumpled form of Dwight and shows them to the camera, they have photos of Dwight's face taped to the inside. Jim mugs for the camera.
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Mar 18, 2024 13:16
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Dwight arrives at work to find the entire office floor has been covered in several feet of sand. He knows this is a Dune-inspired prank. However, Dwight also knows there's no chance Jim has actually watched or read Dune, lending a terrifying air of unpredictability to the prank. Jim appears on a television screen, dressed in a black spacesuit and with a tube in his nose. A picture is beginning to form for Dwight as Jim puts one arm up, makes a weird flailing motion with his fingers, then puts his hand down. "Hail, son of Schrute! Welcome to Planet Dune, home of the universe's largest desert. And, heh heh, its largest worms. You can cross this desert and get to your desk only if you know how to walk in rhythm with the worms. Otherwise, they will devour you for your precious spice." Dwight sighs and says that Jim could have easily watched the David Lynch Dune movie in the time it took him to put all this sand into the office. "Foolish mortal, you know not of what you speak. By the 3 moons of Thanagar I'll see you eaten by the mighty sandworm yet! Huzzah!" Jim turns the TV screen off and Dwight decides today would be a good day to work from home. When Kevin gets to the office a few minutes later he happily declares it "beach day" and rushes to his desk. As he boots up his computer, a giant sand worm with black and white stripes swallows him whole, then disappears back under the sand. "Graboids," Jim says to the camera crew. "That's what they're called, right? Somebody tell me. Dwight isn't answering my texts right now."
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Mar 18, 2024 14:24
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The door to the VFX studio in Bangladesh is kicked open and all the underpaid animators snap their heads up and turn around. Standing in the doorway they see John Krasinski, assistant to the regional producer for Dune 2. (Rumors swirl that he only got the job by sleeping with Hollywood A list actress Emily Blunt.) "Listen up, you eggheads have 6 hours to replace the sandworms with the claymation snakes from beetlejuice. That's right I want to see green lips, and a head inside a head, and give it some sexy zebra stripes. And if I see more than 12fps then I'm gonna LOSE IT" The animators turn to each other, puzzled. No one in the room speaks English.
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Mar 18, 2024 14:41
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“Boy oh boy do I like sleeping with Hollywood A list actress Emily Blunt!” yells Jim, who has panted himself with zebra stripes and green lips “John what are you, doing in there?” Emily Blunt find the door to their downstairs guest bathroom locked John Krazinski climbs out the window (leaving stripes of black and white paint on the windowsill) and drives off to hide in the bushes and throw acorns at the window of actor Rainn Wilson
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Mar 18, 2024 15:08
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Jim mugs at the camera. No pranks has been played, but the sight triggers Dwight into a full-day panic attack. Jim mugs at the camera.
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Mar 18, 2024 15:11
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John Krasinski wakes with a scream, his sheets covered in sweat. He turns to his wife, Emily Blunt, who was awakened as he jolted out of his slumber. "Oh my God, Emily, I'm so sorry. I just had this awful dream. I was... I was an rear end in a top hat! I didn't have a creative bone in my body and I just stole ideas from other people. And I was... I was so MEAN! To everyone on set, to you. Oh my God, it was awful! And I couldn't stop, it was like I was floating above my body watching all of this stuff happening." "John, I think maybe you've put yourself under a little too much stress. What with the charity work and helping organize that big fundraiser for kids with mesothelioma." "CUT!" John screams as he tears himself out of bed. "CUT! CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!" The bedroom lights up as a half-dozen lights flash on, revealing it to merely be a set on a Hollywood backlot. John Krasinski, wearing a flesh-colored body stocking that has muscles airbrushed on it, stomps around for a minute. "Emily, DEAR, we went over this. It's prounced MEEZ - OH - THEE - LEE - OH - MA!" "No, John, my love, I think you're mistaken. It's MEH - SO - THEL - EE - OH - MAH," Emily Blunt replies. She crawls out of bed, revealing that she is also wearing a flesh-colored body stocking with airbrushed muscles on it. "What the gently caress, dude," one camera operator whispers to a boom mic operator. "What the gently caress?!?" "Emily," John says, taking a long drag from a bubblegum cigar. "We NEED to get this finished tonight so I can edit it tomorrow and get it on youtube by Wednesday. Imaginary isn't doing so hot in the preview screenings and SOME PEOPLE apparently think I'm a weird rear end in a top hat because of how I acted at the Oscars. So we need to FIX THIS right the gently caress NOW." "Why does it have to be that word?" Emily Blunt asks, holding the sides of her head. "Why can't we just say cancer? Or, hell, go big and say AIDS?" "AIDS is so 80s, Emily. What, you want me to say these kids have polio or something, too? Maybe show some kid in an iron lung with a picture of Howdy Doody framed on the wall? THINK!!!!" "Jesus, John, calm down. Fine, I'll say the line the way you want it. I still don't understand the logic behind this whole thing. Is this supposed to be a skit or what?" "No, this is supposed to be real footage from our bedroom, candid stuff. Gritty. Real." "Then why are there multiple camera angles? Why would we be filming this? Who's editing this footage together? Why is it being released?" "You know what," John says, stomping back to the set, "how about you let ME create the film, and you do what you do best, apparently, and act in it. Best supporting actress nomination MY rear end. Can't even say mesothelioma right." "As soon as we finish shooting this thing I'm leaving, John," Emily Blunt says, crawling into bed on set. "I'm staying with Felicity and Stanley for a while until you figure out what you want from this marriage." John Krasinski lets out an audible sigh and crawls into bed as well, angrily yanking the sheets around his chest. "That's your answer to everything, isn't it? Your loving sister and Stanley goddamn Tucci. Yeah, he was great in Space Chimps and Space Chimps 2, but who wasn't? I'm so loving tired of hearing about him!" The camera operator looks at the boom mic operator and bugs his eyes out, then mouths "what the gently caress, dude" again as the cameras start rolling.
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Mar 18, 2024 15:18
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Stanley Tucci and actress Aubrey Plaza (wearing nude body suits spray painted to look like Emily Blunt) take turns making tender, yet passionate, love to a small pile of acorns
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Mar 18, 2024 15:28
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Dwight is going to a concert with Angela and opens up the mobile ticket on his cell phone. When he does, an audio file of Jim plays. "My name is Dwight Schrute and I smell like poo poo!" Dwight apologizes to the ticket-taker (this doesn't even register to them, as they've seen people with far worse things on their phone) and he and Angela enjoy a romantic evening together.
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Mar 18, 2024 15:37
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Meanwhile Jim - naked except for red tennis shoes - opens another 10l tub of chocolate ice cream and watches the fifth reaction video to Mars needs Moms on his Razr. From above you can hear the sound of a bed hitting a wall and occasionally a moaned "Brian". Erasable Penis fucked around with this message at 15:48 on Mar 18, 2024 |
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Mar 18, 2024 15:43
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*TOK! TOCK!!* “There is that sound again, do you think it’s a woodpecker?” “It’s nothing honey, probably the wind.” Rainn Wilson peaks through the blinds to see Aubrey Plaza, Stanley Tucci, and Emily Blunt all arguing with John Krazinski who appears to be wearing body paint. There is a small piles of round objects John is attempting to grab. Acorns? In California? Emily Blunt is wearing a nude body suit painted to look like Emily Blunt
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Mar 18, 2024 16:01
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naem posted:*TOK! TOCK!!*
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Mar 18, 2024 16:02
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Jim logs into the something awful forums and goes into Dwight's The Office thread in TVIV and asks "Did Michael say he quit? Or did he say I Acquit?"
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Mar 18, 2024 16:03
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Jim gives Dwight a free movie ticket to see Madame Web before it leaves theatres. Fortunately for Dwight, Madame Web's theatre run is only a single weekend and the local cinema offers Dwight a seat in another matinee of his choice instead. Jim mugs from the projection booth as he prepares to drop a bag of acorns on Dwight.
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Mar 18, 2024 16:58
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"Dwight, have you ever questioned the nature of your reality?" Jim's question breaks Dwight's concentration. He does his best to ignore Jim's nonsense, but he can't help start to think about the nature of the world around him. It's strange, right? How its almost as if he and Jim are the center of some TV show, going on whacky adventures on weekly intervals. How Jim always semes to fail upwards, despite being woefully incompetent? How all of them have somehow gotten more attractive as the year's have passed - how Michael went from balding to having a full head of hair over the course of a year. Jim continues. "You should Dwight, you should. Because your reality.. its really my reality." Jim is leering at Dwight now and Dwight feels caught in his gaze. "I control all of this. You're living in my world. And and I could make it all end, just... like... that." Jim snaps his fingers and everything around Dwight stops. The hustle and bustle of the Office is replaced with silence. Turning around, Dwight sees Kevin standing still, one hand reaching towards the copier. Kelly is holding her phone up to her head, saying nothing. Stanley is staring vacantly at the wall. "I could leave it like this. Leave us alone. Just the two of us, frozen in a moment in time. Would you like that?" Dwight is scared now, truly terrified. He replies, begging, "No... please... no." Jim leers at Dwight and snaps his fingers again. The rest of the Office starts moving again. Kevin grabs his printout from the copier. Kelly starts texting on her phone. Stanley looks down at his desk and starts doing a crossword puzzle. Dwight feels suddenly ill and runs to the bathroom to be sick. After he leaves, Stanley stands up and points at Jim. "OK, we played along. Now I want my $20." Jim turns and mugs at the camera.
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Mar 18, 2024 16:58
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Jim gives Dwight a free movie ticket to see Madame Web before it leaves theatres. Dwight, not being one to waste a chance to see a movie on the big screen, thanks Jim for the tickets. Jim, from the projection booth, prepares the ultimate prank. However, once Sydney Sweeney appears on screen, Jim is too transfixed to lock the doors and set the theater on fire, instead using the time to post incessantly about Ms. Sweeney’s boobs online. Even though the movie is terrible, Dwight enjoys the most peaceful two hours of his life. Outside, above the theater exit, a piano hangs from a fraying rope.
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Mar 18, 2024 17:08
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Creed reveals a startling truth to the office one day while Jim and Dwight are both at a sales conference. "Long ago, before any of you worked here, when Michael was just a salesman, there was no Jim nor Dwight. Instead, there was a paper salesman with skills beyond anything seen in Scranton before or since. This paper salesman went to Ed Truck, who was our regional manager at the time, and asked to become Assistant Regional Manager. Ed Truck, in his wisdom, saw great evil within the paper salesman and cast him aside, telling him to reapply for the job only when he had purged himself of this darkness. The paper salesman began a months long quest to rediscover his love of sales. Eventually, through sheer force of will, he was able to physically purge his evil side and cast it out into the shadows of the world. The paper salesman, now pure of heart, renamed himself Dwight and applied for the Assistant Regional Manager. In his absence, Michael has ascended to Regional Manager. Michael, knowing the great burden of leadership, elected instead to make Dwight the Assistant TO the Regional Manager. Meanwhile, the evil half the Dwight purged renamed itself Jim and began its reign of terror." The office goes silent for a moment as this truth washes over them. Then, Michael steps out of his office. "Creed, you're high again. None of that happened. Jim isn't some magical evil half of Dwight. That's just Dragonball. Creed is recounting parts of Dragonball to all of you right now." The rest of the office mutters and returns to work, Oscar loudly stating that he knew it was made up the whole time (he didn't). As Michael returns to his desk and closes the door, he pulls an old framed photo out of his desk. Ed Truck sits at his desk, smiling, as Michael and an unknown figure pose with thumbs-ups in front of him. The unknown man looks strangely familiar, he wears thick glasses and has oddly floppy hair. Michael frowns and slides the picture back into his desk, a tear rolling down his cheek. "This used to be a picture of Ed Truck, me, and Dwight. Then Jim thought it'd be really funny to photoshop 'Dwim' into all these old photos of Dwight."
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Mar 18, 2024 17:38
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The impish, floppy-haired Jim eats a bunch of orchid leaves and leaps into the transporter beam just as the straight-laced Vulcan lieutenant Dwight is preparing to beam back to the ship. The interaction with the alien orchid causes the transporter signals to merge and fuse at a sub-genetic level. Dwight and Jim are fused into a new being: Dwim. Captain Janeway mugs for the cameras as she breaks the glass on the case containing the emergency fire axe.
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Mar 18, 2024 18:06
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“J’Wight!” says Darryl helpfully After an awkward pause, “Another name! you know, if you need one. It’s like Star Trek! With the two guys!” In a talking head segment Daryl admits he finds his coworkers annoying and they don’t laugh at his jokes enough when he attempts to engage them
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Mar 18, 2024 18:14
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“I can’t get enough of these almonds, thanks Tooch!” Daryl makes a friendly gesture at actor Stanley Tucci who responds with an silent peace sign as he exits stage right Daryl puts an acorn into his mouth. “Crunchy! Hey these taste weird.”
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Mar 18, 2024 18:19
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| # ? May 14, 2024 17:32 |
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A few weeks after the documentary "The Office: An American Workplace" airs Dwight discovers that there is a disturbing amount of "Dwim" fanfiction out on the internet. Against his better judgement he begins to read some of them. At first he is disgusted at the almost pornographic description of his and Jim's relationship in all the stories he read. But he also notices the tenderness and kindness with which the fictional Jim treats the fictional Dwight and gets a bit envious. After a while reading these stories becomes something of a comfort activity for him; in particular when Jim pranks him in a particular mean manner. On one such occasion while reading a sweet "Dwim" story Jim hits Dwight over the head with a bat knocking him and a few of Dwight’s teeth out. In the break room Jim mugs in the direction of a imagined camera and says: "I'm more of a J'Wight fan."
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Mar 18, 2024 19:02
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