[succ] Go directly to the solutions tent, do not collect 600 dollars

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [succ] Go directly to the solutions tent, do not collect 600 dollars

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galagazombie: Oct 31, 2011; A silly little mouse!

DJJIB-DJDCT posted:

Liberal teleology, I would imagine. "March of progress" towards liberal capitalist democracy.

The way I always heard it in school/tv/etc, was that it was revolutionary because it set in law for the first time that the king was not an all powerful absolute ruler who could rule by decree. That it set in law the principle of �consent of the governed� and that true national sovereignty did not reside in any one man.

Now this is not only all bogus, but it is not even true within the tradition of Common Law that the Magna Carta is a part of. Rulers with legal checks on their power are commonplace, if not the majority, throughout all recorded history across the globe. The Germanic customs from which Common Law descends are in fact full of societies where the Ruler is elected to the position by the rest of the nobility. The law in England itself has multiple prior examples of the kings authority being legally limited.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 07:19

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# ? May 26, 2024 03:25

Son of Thunderbeast: Sep 21, 2002

World War Mammories posted:

I read this whole post, and I enjoyed it, like a loving sicko

# ? Mar 18, 2024 07:33

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

RadiRoot posted:

a bloodbath in the capital. oh no. stop.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 07:38

Lin-Manuel Turtle: Jul 12, 2023

[Washington]
Incoming!

[ENSEMBLE]
What?

What?

Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck!

Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck!

# ? Mar 18, 2024 07:41

DJJIB-DJDCT: Feb 1, 2024

Clip-On Fedora posted:

This is really interesting, and for me it explains why liberals tend to overvalue writers and artists, and give them powerful shamanistic qualities they don't actually have.

I read a lot of vertigo comics growing up, and a constant reoccurring theme was that stories are the most important thing on earth. Why? Because they are magic. The writers of stories are sorcerers that define our reality and rewrite it to to make it a better place. A goodly careful wizard can write a beautiful story that makes the world a better place. A badly clumsy wizard can write dark and evil stories that make the world a bad place with bad people. Warren Ellis wrote essays about how a bunch of the brit wave comic book writers like Alan Moore...

Forgive me for not knowing more, but didn't this culminate in Alan Moore now believing he is an actual magician of some sort? That would follow what you're saying, as crazy as it seems. He was treated as if he was magical, in the creative sense, until it reached a point where he believed he had occult powers.

galagazombie posted:

The way I always heard it in school/tv/etc, was that it was revolutionary because it set in law for the first time that the king was not an all powerful absolute ruler who could rule by decree. That it set in law the principle of �consent of the governed� and that true national sovereignty did not reside in any one man.

Now this is not only all bogus, but it is not even true within the tradition of Common Law that the Magna Carta is a part of. Rulers with legal checks on their power are commonplace, if not the majority, throughout all recorded history across the globe. The Germanic customs from which Common Law descends are in fact full of societies where the Ruler is elected to the position by the rest of the nobility. The law in England itself has multiple prior examples of the kings authority being legally limited.

It's actually pretty funny, because of course medieval monarchs were incredibly weak and the court and vessels not only managed most of the affairs of state because a bureaucracy did not exist to centralize administration under the monarch, but they held most of the military and financial power as well. A 13th century monarch was about as weak as you can imagine, with the French king probably the strongest, and even then still more than a hundred years away from achieving even this amount of direct control:

Behold! Absolute monarchy. lmao.

e: In the year the Magna Carta was written, Italy was in the middle of a century of warfare because it was an entirely open question whether the Holy Roman Emperor or Pope had more authority over the cities of northern Italy, and even for the winner, "influence" is probably the better word because even the most powerful feudal nobles could not assert any direct control over a sufficiently wealthy city.

DJJIB-DJDCT has issued a correction as of 07:53 on Mar 18, 2024

# ? Mar 18, 2024 07:43

Asproigerosis: Mar 13, 2013; insufferable

DJJIB-DJDCT posted:

If it's alright, we were just discussing something like this in the Ukraine thread, so I'll crosspost why Trump specifically is a problem for them:

In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards.

Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will.

Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect.

However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps.

Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection.

All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever.

Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed.

Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable.

Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average.

Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule.

Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed.

The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 18, 2024 08:25

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

the worst type of electricity

# ? Mar 18, 2024 08:32

ELTON JOHN: Feb 17, 2014

Vox Nihili posted:

https://twitter.com/EoinHiggins_/status/1768795426247819267

sorry

jesus christ

what the gently caress

# ? Mar 18, 2024 08:40

Goa Tse-tung: Feb 11, 2008; ;3; Yams Fan

World War Mammories posted:

I read this whole post, and I enjoyed it, like a loving sicko

me too

also advice for the author: why the gently caress are you posting this on your alt, pm it to a friend and let them post it

# ? Mar 18, 2024 08:46

Soapy_Bumslap: Jun 19, 2013; We're gonna need a bigger chode; Grimey Drawer

Turns out the 4th stimpire is a communist paradise and all the others are a bunch of lying libs

# ? Mar 18, 2024 11:34

Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

Vox Nihili posted:

https://twitter.com/EoinHiggins_/status/1768795426247819267

sorry

My hand reflexivily turned this off about 5 seconds in when he goes "Tim kaine in the membraaaane"

# ? Mar 18, 2024 12:05

Jen heir rick: Aug 4, 2004; when a woman says something's not funny, you better not laugh your ass off

galagazombie posted:

The way I always heard it in school/tv/etc, was that it was revolutionary because it set in law for the first time that the king was not an all powerful absolute ruler who could rule by decree. That it set in law the principle of �consent of the governed� and that true national sovereignty did not reside in any one man.

Now this is not only all bogus, but it is not even true within the tradition of Common Law that the Magna Carta is a part of. Rulers with legal checks on their power are commonplace, if not the majority, throughout all recorded history across the globe. The Germanic customs from which Common Law descends are in fact full of societies where the Ruler is elected to the position by the rest of the nobility. The law in England itself has multiple prior examples of the kings authority being legally limited.

I was listening to the age of napoleon podcast, so I don't know if this is right or not, but he said that the enlightenment era actually brought about the idea of absolute monarchy, which is different from how I was taught in school. The idea is that the enlightnment thinkers believed everyone should be equal. That means equal under the law. The arisocracy has too much power, so invest more power in the king so he can hold them accountable to the law. Everybody's equal now! Except for the king, but just swap that out for a president and bob's you uncle.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 12:35

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

absolutist ideas were floating around way before the enlightenment, but it is true that the movement towards absolutism was often supported by the lower classes because it's a lot better to have one big tyrant somewhere far away who doesn't care about you as long as the taxes are paid than it is to have a lot of petty tyrants close to home who can gently caress with you personally

# ? Mar 18, 2024 13:15

PhilippAchtel: May 31, 2011

Automata 10 Pack posted:

https://x.com/ngrossman81/status/1769424145987641807?s=46

This guy loving sucks.

https://twitter.com/NGrossman81/status/1769695367455539264

Western academia is a waste

# ? Mar 18, 2024 13:28

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Soapy_Bumslap posted:

Turns out the 4th stimpire is a communist paradise and all the others are a bunch of lying libs

same as it always was, comrade

# ? Mar 18, 2024 13:29

F_Shit_Fitzgerald: Feb 2, 2017

Proof that "Hamas fighters" set up in al-Shifa is not forthcoming, of course. But the IDF says it is true, so it must be true when you're a gullible moron.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 13:29

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

PhilippAchtel posted:

This guy loving sucks.

https://twitter.com/NGrossman81/status/1769695367455539264

Western academia is a waste

I wonder what this guy thinks about what the Americans did to Monte Cassino

# ? Mar 18, 2024 13:30

PhilippAchtel: May 31, 2011

1glitch0 posted:

The shame of my political life is voting for Joe Biden in 2020 because I was so broken by everything and it really did feel like things were near a breaking point of absolute collapse. And now here we are and I, apparently along with many others, wont be votin for Genocide Joe. What a flop he is. I wish he was still lucid enough to know how much of a pathetic failure he is even though he kinda sorta eventually became president.

The important point is to not just recognize this in Biden, because he is only a single man elevated by a system. This pattern will continue after he dies unless we stop it.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 13:35

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

i was very surprised that the republicans didn't constantly impeach biden just because they could. i guess it wasn't necessary.

They probably learned a lesson from the Democrats going after Trump. It just made people like him more.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 13:41

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I allowed myself to be shamed into voting for HRC (in Massachusetts) in the general in 2016, felt bad about it immediately, and will never repeat this mistake

# ? Mar 18, 2024 13:43

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

it's important to remember when feeling guilty about past votes that your vote doesn't matter

# ? Mar 18, 2024 13:44

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

gradenko_2000 posted:

https://twitter.com/sasquatch_god/status/1769043795499246057?t=aa1mYiPSBujVStZ9VEl0wg&s=19

I said there was potential for streamers to leverage their internet fame and ability to talk in front of a camera to enter politics. I warned you all.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 13:49

gradenko_2000: Oct 5, 2010; HELL SERPENT; Lipstick Apathy

Automata 10 Pack posted:

https://x.com/ngrossman81/status/1769424145987641807?s=46

https://twitter.com/mosb1000/status/1769567820143071512

# ? Mar 18, 2024 13:57

FistEnergy: Nov 3, 2000; DAY CREW: WORKING HARD; Fun Shoe

How do you even respond to that level of ghoulishness?

# ? Mar 18, 2024 13:59

mags: May 30, 2008; I am a congenital optimist.

Some Guy TT posted:

i have never heard anyone describe margaret thatcher as speaking with passive aggressive feminine sweetness before and outside of this weirdly specific context am having trouble thinking i ever will again

# ? Mar 18, 2024 14:00

bedpan: Apr 23, 2008

FistEnergy posted:

How do you even respond to that level of ghoulishness?

Adventurer, freelance programmer, artist, father, husband and all around nice guy.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 14:01

Pepe Silvia Browne: Jan 1, 2007

mags posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0G6RF5ChKYQ

# ? Mar 18, 2024 14:01

F_Shit_Fitzgerald: Feb 2, 2017

Hemlock Spice

# ? Mar 18, 2024 14:02

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

Punished Turtle posted:

[Washington]
Incoming!

[ENSEMBLE]
What?

What?

Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck!

Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck!

[Michael]
Has anyone in this government ever even seen a chicken?

# ? Mar 18, 2024 14:08

Strangelet Wave: Nov 6, 2004; Surely you're joking!

Some Guy TT posted:

genuinely kind of baffled why anyone outside england treats this as significantly democratic given that all it did was make it harder for the king to tax aristocrats so he had to start bullying peasants for their lunch money instead

liberty is the vibe you get when you throw in with the cause of the petite noblesse even if (especially if) you�re actually a peasant. the name of that cause is �democracy�

# ? Mar 18, 2024 14:19

spacemang_spliff: Nov 29, 2014; wide pickle

World War Mammories posted:

I read this whole post, and I enjoyed it, like a loving sicko

# ? Mar 18, 2024 14:28

the_steve: Nov 9, 2005; We're always hiring!

World War Mammories posted:

I read this whole post, and I enjoyed it, like a loving sicko

# ? Mar 18, 2024 14:30

Cuttlefush: Jan 15, 2014; gotta have my purp

Punished Turtle posted:

[Washington]
Incoming!

[ENSEMBLE]
What?

What?

Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck!

Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck!

right about now its time to rock with the biggity buck bumble

# ? Mar 18, 2024 14:31

Probably Magic: Oct 9, 2012; Looking cute, feeling cute.

World War Mammories posted:

I read this whole post, and I enjoyed it, like a loving sicko

This is what D&D should be, and instead it's... whatever, anyways.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 14:50

Jen heir rick: Aug 4, 2004; when a woman says something's not funny, you better not laugh your ass off

PhilippAchtel posted:

This guy loving sucks.

https://twitter.com/NGrossman81/status/1769695367455539264

Western academia is a waste

fight hold leave alive fight fight enemy again failure? regroup!

# ? Mar 18, 2024 15:05

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

SixteenShells posted:

That article about Biden's reactions to his poll numbers is full of interesting stuff. Reading between the lines it seems like Biden is the only person on his staff who actually wants to put him in public appearances. It's example after example of "his staff doesn't want him to look like a sleepy old man and he doesn't like it one bit".

It's pretty clear that his best shot is purely to rely on Trump's unpopularity and hide in the basement.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 15:08

bedpan: Apr 23, 2008

mcmagic posted:

It's pretty clear that his best shot is purely to rely on Trump's unpopularity and hide in the basement.

there are millions of voters out there who just want to hear some lies and be fed some pablum but biden is too feeble to do even that

# ? Mar 18, 2024 15:10

spacemang_spliff: Nov 29, 2014; wide pickle

PhilippAchtel posted:

This guy loving sucks.

https://twitter.com/NGrossman81/status/1769695367455539264

Western academia is a waste

lol

https://twitter.com/NGrossman81/status/1769726432853295455

# ? Mar 18, 2024 15:12

PhilippAchtel: May 31, 2011

FistEnergy posted:

How do you even respond to that level of ghoulishness?

Re-education

# ? Mar 18, 2024 15:14

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# ? May 26, 2024 03:25

Jen heir rick: Aug 4, 2004; when a woman says something's not funny, you better not laugh your ass off

spacemang_spliff posted:

https://twitter.com/NGrossman81/status/1769726432853295455

I don't think Biden gonna win on "Trump but slightly less worse"

# ? Mar 18, 2024 15:17

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [succ] Go directly to the solutions tent, do not collect 600 dollars

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