r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Creature posted:

Anyway, I don�t recommend rural Australian public schools to anybody.

Attended a bunch of lovely bush/rural schools. Can confirm.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 08:59

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# ? May 30, 2024 04:41

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for telling my husband to have kids with someone who looks like him?

Are these Americans, because she's basically describing different kinds of white people.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 10:10

Warden: Jan 16, 2020

keep punching joe posted:

Are these Americans, because she's basically describing different kinds of white people.

Welcome to the exciting world of European racism.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 11:05

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

To be fair, it's not like America wasn't racist against the various immigrants we have now accepted as white, like the Italians and the Irish. They were The Other until they assimilated enough to be accepted into American whiteness. Garlic used to be a disgusting immigrant food. What a sad world it was.

America's 'cultural melting pot' is just that we were successful at making people abandon their own culture to join the dominant American culture of the time, and we sorted them within our cultural hierarchy accordingly when they did. So various nationalities that are considered separate things elsewhere in the world became bog standard whiteness here. But they are still considered non-white elsewhere. Bc whiteness is a status, not a race, and the rules for who 'counts' as white are different in different places.

The only consistent rule is that only the people considered white currently are the ones who can grant white status to others. They're the gatekeepers.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 11:47 on Mar 23, 2024

# ? Mar 23, 2024 11:25

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

StrangersInTheNight posted:

To be fair, it's not like America wasn't racist against the various immigrants we have now accepted as white, like the Italians and the Irish. They were The Other until they assimilated enough to be accepted into American whiteness.

Garlic used to be a disgusting immigrant food. What a sad world it was.

I have mentioned this before, but I grew up in a heavily Scandinavian-settled part of America, and I absolutely had the belief that Italians weren't white. Like, saw a trailer for the Spike Lee movie Jungle Fever about a black man and an Italian-American woman, and legit wondered when he was going to meet the white woman everyone was so concerned about.

It wasn't like I sat through formal racism indoctrination or anything, it was just decades of exposure through casual family conversations and local media. Racism is weird man. (I try to be better now about recognizing and adjusting for internal biases.)

# ? Mar 23, 2024 11:34

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

nobody better be thinking that Americans can't be weird about that right now, too. it is, as she noted, part of the current rise of neonazi bullshit, but it also never really went away. thinking blond blue-eyed white people are whiter and therefore better (and definitely prettier and more feminine and princesslike for girls) than darker haired brown eyed white people is a fairly common unspoken bias based in racism

# ? Mar 23, 2024 11:34

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Oh absolutely. It's the stuff that makes me cackle when someone tries to claim Europe is less racist. What no, they invented it, we just give it our own spin bc of we have to be that way, we're America.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 11:38

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

It's become a lot more obvious lately that a lot of people were really only pretending not to be racist.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 11:41

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for telling my husband to have kids with someone who looks like him?

His and is like "hehe, this family is so great. Hey wife. I'm going to easily "win" this family because I'll produce the best and most beautiful children. Then we are kings of this family"

# ? Mar 23, 2024 13:19

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

StrangersInTheNight posted:

To be fair, it's not like America wasn't racist against the various immigrants we have now accepted as white, like the Italians and the Irish. They were The Other until they assimilated enough to be accepted into American whiteness. Garlic used to be a disgusting immigrant food. What a sad world it was.

America's 'cultural melting pot' is just that we were successful at making people abandon their own culture to join the dominant American culture of the time, and we sorted them within our cultural hierarchy accordingly when they did. So various nationalities that are considered separate things elsewhere in the world became bog standard whiteness here. But they are still considered non-white elsewhere. Bc whiteness is a status, not a race, and the rules for who 'counts' as white are different in different places.

The only consistent rule is that only the people considered white currently are the ones who can grant white status to others. They're the gatekeepers.

Uh, just so you know, the "they assimilated and was therefore accepted as Americans" thing is considered "problematic" nowadays, as the kids say. Equality was no granted but fought for. For Irish immigrants for example, a pivotal moment was when they seized control of Tammany Hall in NYC, through which they were able to exert influence on Democratic politics in the state of NY and the Northeast. The other was that Irish clergymen were able seize control of American Catholic institutions that was traditionally ran by the French and Germans, and was thus able to create parallel institutions like Catholic schools, Catholic universities, and Catholic hospitals that bypassed discriminatory public institutions. Neither were incidental, both were active effort with the goal of advancing Irish interests in America. After 11 Italian immigrants were lynched in New Orleans, the Italian government cut diplomatic ties with the US, and there were fears that Italians in US cities would riot. There was a successful national anti-lynching (of Italians) campaign and Columbus Day was made a holiday mostly to placate Italian Americans and the Italian government.

And all of this was underpinned by good ol' anti-Black racism. By the 1890s the fight to restrict European immigration was already lost. Now the priority is to fight organised labour in the north. Jim Crow had made life impossible for black people in rural South, and they began to move to Northern cities in large numbers in the early 1900s. As they obtained industrial jobs, the fear was that they would swell the ranks of trade unions. So as European immigrants were gaining acceptance, anti-Black racism was actively cultivated among these group, in order to prevent the formation of class solidarity.

It's not so much that "they were accepted," but rather "the power that be that fought tooth and nail against their acceptance eventually acquiesced to their demands for equality in order to fight organised labour."

Shanghaied fucked around with this message at 14:32 on Mar 23, 2024

# ? Mar 23, 2024 14:28

BrideOfUglycat: Oct 30, 2000

Troublemaker posted:

AITAH for "destroying" my daughters future by taking her out of her current school because her and her friend group were bullying other kids?

I liked this point in the comments:

On the whole, I support where this guy is coming from, but his dad is right. Taking extra-curricular and schedule out of the equation, the education is probably better and will serve his daughter better in the long run. And his view of charity and volunteer work is also missing a key piece. He wants his daughter to develop empathy but won't force her into situations where that can be learned? Take her to serve food weekly or provide child care at a homeless shelter, and spend the time with her as well doing it.

The more I think about it, the more I feel this guy's view of discipline is whatever he actually has to do the least to implement.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 16:10

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

AITA for sleeping in on my GFs birthday?

quote:

I (M25) have been dating my GF (f22) for about 2 months and she got extremely upset with me after sleeping in on her birthday

We agreed to have her birthday at my house, inviting all her young college friends I don't really trust yet and even having her DJ friend come, despite noise concerns. I agreed to it because I wanted her party to be special and she had no other option. I spent 9 hours straight cleaning my house top to bottom in preparation and even made edibles for the party.

Last week I had to fly out for 5 days on a business trip. They ended up scheduling it on top of her birthday after I agreed to host it. I fought to rework the entire project schedule and got multiple other people to change plans just so I could be back in time for the day of her birthday and then the party the next day.

This trip turned out to be one of the most mentally taxing projects of my career. Both flights in and out were red eyes and the work required me to do everything late at night (as late as 6am on a few nights). I worked 62 hours and got average of 4 hours of sleep per night in a 5 day span. One night I only got 1 hour of sleep before working 12 hours. I stayed in sketchy hotels, got an eye infection, and even ran into my bipolar ex that emotional traumatized me. Needless to say I was drained mentally and physically.

I took the day off after I got back so we could hang out on her actual birthday. She spent the entire week with her mom shopping and hanging out. We never agreed on a specific time or even plan on what we were doing. I woke up early to a work call to fix one last thing from the project, said good morning to my gf and we talked about getting coffee at some point. My body just couldn't physically stay awake anymore and I ended up falling asleep for more 3 hours.

Finally I get up, get her some flowers, and head to her place to take her for her favorite lunch, see a movie she wanted, and get her favorite cake. When I got there, she was extremely upset and crying really hard because I slept to long. When I tried to explain, she dismissed my sleep deprivation because she doesn't get good sleep in general and said "welcome to my life!". She didn't thank me for the flowers, lunch, movie or cake.

I felt like I have been giving 110% to everyone and everything and yet I'm still getting yelled at. It brought back feelings of never being good enough and walking on eggshells that my traumatizing ex gave me. She even told me later that negative reinforcement works better.

Man I too miss being 22 and had nothing to do except studying and hanging out.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 16:33

leftist heap: Feb 28, 2013; Fun Shoe

BrideOfUglycat posted:

On the whole, I support where this guy is coming from, but his dad is right. Taking extra-curricular and schedule out of the equation, the education is probably better and will serve his daughter better in the long run. And his view of charity and volunteer work is also missing a key piece. He wants his daughter to develop empathy but won't force her into situations where that can be learned? Take her to serve food weekly or provide child care at a homeless shelter, and spend the time with her as well doing it.

The more I think about it, the more I feel this guy's view of discipline is whatever he actually has to do the least to implement.

"I took away all her fancy toys, what more parenting could I possibly do??"

# ? Mar 23, 2024 16:37

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Another story of someone exploiting friends as free childcare:

AITAH for refusing to babysit my friends rude child?

quote:

I (f) have been helping a friend out by looking after her child and fitting my life around her schedule for the past 4 months. (5 hours on days I work and 8 on my only day off)

The thing is. She's so rude. She's 9 years old and her attitude I believe has developed by watching too many YouTube videos of sassy people and trying to copy them.

Yesterday when she came over whilst her mum was at work. Now I have a condition called IBS and sometimes it starts when I'm stressed. I use odor spray and products to try and minimise the smell because who actually wants that?

Well whilst I was having an episode the child was stood outside the bathroom door laughing at me. After I came out I politely told her that her actions hurt me a little and tried to describe my condition in the best way possible. She called me a disgusting pig with a sh*tty ar*e (actual words from a 10year old).

So when I dropped her back to her mum. I told her that was the last time I'd be watching her. And told her why. (Also this is not the first time the child has been rude towards me) like I say she thinks she's being sassy and cute.

So am I the AH for no longer looking after this child? My friend cannot work without finding childcare and the dad is NC with them (no idea why, I've never met him and feel it's not my place to ask).

The OP posted:

She pays me what she can. Its usually around £30-60 a week.

38 hours a week for £30-60??? Forget about the rude child, why would you ever agree to this??? :psyduck:

# ? Mar 23, 2024 16:49

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: Dec 28, 2007; Kiss this and hang

Shanghaied posted:

AITA for sleeping in on my GFs birthday?
2 months

Just walk away.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 16:52

Ensign Expendable: Nov 11, 2008; Lager beer is proof that god loves us; Pillbug

Shanghaied posted:

AITA for sleeping in on my GFs birthday?

She even told me later that negative reinforcement works better.

Good thing she played her cards too early and the guy can bounce without worrying about sunk cost.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 17:05

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Shanghaied posted:

It's not so much that "they were accepted," but rather "the power that be that fought tooth and nail against their acceptance eventually acquiesced to their demands for equality in order to fight organised labour."

Oh 100%, I oversimplified to keep it short, the process of how they were 'accepted' into American whiteness is a process littered with bodies and blood. It was not an easy or simple process and as you mentioned, a lot of the shift happened to shore up sentiment against black people and divide class solidarity. Sadly tho it worked - accepting those folks as white has firmly entrenched many of them as part of the machinery of whiteness in America. There is a significant amount who stop being persecuted and with their new elevated social status, become the persecutors.

Essentially, raising them to a higher social status of white to recruit them to protect whiteness worked. So there's room for both realities - that they were, horribly abused and mistreated as a people, and that mistreatment stops when they becomes elevated to white and 'accepted'. The abuse being so bad is part of how then drawing them to the other side of whiteness works so well. And enough time has gone by with them on the 'accepted' side and gleefully punching down to keep themselves elevated that their past history of not being accepted doesn't make it better, it makes it worse that this is how it all ended up. Understandable, but loving sad because undoing over 100 years of 'at least we're better than the blacks' sentiment in people who value their whiteness isssss a difficult process.

This is really reductive but to me it's kinda like Israel and Palestine. Israel is fully doing a genocide; it doesn't mean they too weren't once the target of a genocide, but having been subject to a genocide isn't something that excuses what they're doing, now that they have the power and political allies to do so.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Mar 23, 2024

# ? Mar 23, 2024 17:08

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

quote:

She even told me later that negative reinforcement works better.

This line woulda had me outta there so fast there�d be a me-shaped cloud left in my place :whitewater:

# ? Mar 23, 2024 17:10

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

The Maroon Hawk posted:

This line woulda had me outta there so fast there’d be a me-shaped cloud left in my place

Yeah I read that and was like "oh buddy, it is time to leave"

# ? Mar 23, 2024 17:14

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

BrideOfUglycat posted:

On the whole, I support where this guy is coming from, but his dad is right. Taking extra-curricular and schedule out of the equation, the education is probably better and will serve his daughter better in the long run. And his view of charity and volunteer work is also missing a key piece. He wants his daughter to develop empathy but won't force her into situations where that can be learned? Take her to serve food weekly or provide child care at a homeless shelter, and spend the time with her as well doing it.

The more I think about it, the more I feel this guy's view of discipline is whatever he actually has to do the least to implement.

I feel like he's also projecting a lot of his hurt and emotions from an acrimonious divorce on his daughter.

Public schools can provide a fine level of education without the rich-person bullshit of private institutions, though.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 17:14

Pantaloon Pontiff: Jun 25, 2023

Shanghaied posted:

AITA for sleeping in on my GFs birthday?

I thought this was going to be one of those stories where dude decided to stay out all night the night before and blew off something that was important to her. "I was tired from crazy amounts of work, so I slept for a few extra hours, then went to do cool stuff with you, also we didn't have any specific timeline planned" is very much not a case of an uncaring boyfriend. I think she's some combination of immature and self-centered and dude should have a Serious Talk about this soon.

EDIT: I didn't catch "She even told me later that negative reinforcement works better." on my first read, that makes it much worse since it pushes the line way more to 'self centered' than 'just immature'.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 17:21

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

The Serious Talk in question:

�lol I�m out, later ✌️�

# ? Mar 23, 2024 17:22

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

WIBTA for asking my father to stop peeing in the bathroom sink?

quote:

I (22F) live with my Dad (59M), and I recently found out that he pees in the bathroom sink. This is all by ear since my bedroom is right next to the bathroom. I used to think he would just go in there and quickly rinse off his hands throughout the day, but I realized it is actually him peeing. I can hear the stream followed by a few splashes to rinse off the sink.

Isn't this gross? Genuinely asking. ~~I know urine is sterile~~ (Edit: I was extremely mistaken here), but I don't like the idea of brushing my teeth and washing my face where someone is peeing. But then again, I'm 22, so I do understand if it's not my say since he's giving me the privilege of living here. What do y'all think?

While conventionally thought to be most prevalent for men in their twenties, please be aware that grosspeedudeitis can develop at any age

# ? Mar 23, 2024 17:27

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA to call my brother in law out for copying our honeymoon itinerary for his own holiday ?

quote:

My husband and I have already planned and booked our honeymoon trip to Japan in November.

We shared our itinerary with my in laws over dinner and specifically mentioned the places that we booked. (my brother in law & his gf were sitting at the same table as us)

Mom-in-law offered to sponsor one night at 5-star ryokan as honeymoon gift.

One week later, we found out that my brother in law and his gf were planning to book the same trip with the same itinerary during the same period of our travel (just 1 week apart)

We casually joked that we spoke over this last week during dinner but he feigned ignorance and told us that he didn�t know we were going to these places. He even asked to compare our itinerary once we are back from our trip.

One week prior, he mentioned that they will not be travelling this year to save money.

1st Edit: Thank you for your thoughts and I guess IATA for being petty.

For some clarification:

BIL asked MIL to gift them the same hotel stay.

Both husband and I are inactive on Instagram (definitely not for the grams)

Our honeymoon Itinerary was self-planned and felt very personal to us.

BIL & Husband have a sibling rivalry since young. Though both are trying their best to mend their rs.

We wouldn�t mind him using the same itinerary, but was upset that he tried to hide it.

Reddit is full of YTA, but I 100% get their point
"We're not travelling at all, well actually we're travelling on your MILs dime doing the exact same thing that you planned only a week earlier so that we win"

It's 100% about the sibling rivalry.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 17:55

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

WIBTA if I refused to give my parents 25% of my wages?

quote:

Hello everyone, I want some advice and insight before I bring this up to my parents.

For some context, my parents are well off. I have 4 brothers and we all go/went to a public boarding school (confusingly I think in the US they would call it a 'private' not 'public' school. It's a fee-paying school nonetheless). We live in a nice, big house and my parents are not in any way struggling for income.

I recently turned 18 and got a job at a bar and am paid 9.43USD per hour. Where I live you do not tip people, and in the chain I work for you are actually not allowed to accept a tip even if someone were to offer it. I got my first pay slip for how much I will be paid at the end of the month and it comes to just under 315USD.

I was excited and told my parents and they informed me that they expected to have 25% of my net income. They said as rent for living with them now I have started working. I was so mad, I can't lie to you. My brother is 22 and hasn't worked a day in his life, still lives at home and they don't ask him to pay any rent or anything towards the household.

When I said that it was unfair, they told me 'He doesn't have a job, you do.' but the point of me having a job was to earn my own money and save up for things I wanted. Since I started working they said they will stop paying me my allowance, which I was fine with. But now they are expecting me to pay 25% to them on top of them no longer giving me an allowance. Now I have worked over 30 hours in the last month (I know it's not that much, but around it's while studying at sixth form also) for what works out to be an extra \~35USD compared to what my parents just gave me as an allowance.

I just don't think it's fair and I want to refuse to give them the money. Would that make me the AH?

# Update:

I did say this originally but to re-clarify. I am in full time education, I am in 6th Form completing my A-levels which are required for University, not only that but I am completing 5 A-Levels when the normal amount to take is 3. I go to school every week day from 8 until 4pm and then I have prep for another hour and a half after that, which is required by my school.

I spoke to my parents and really broke it down for them why I thought it was stupid of them to charge me 25% and take off my allowance. I explained that I ended up with a net $35 gain from working 33 hours over the month and that if they were to continue to do this it would just be smarter for me to stop working. They told me didn't like the fact that I had started working. They told me they wanted me to focus on my studies and not get any job until after Uni at least. They said they originally took off the allowance from me thinking that would be enough to stop me from working but I carried on so they then said they would take 25%. I just don't understand why they always play these little games where I have to guess what they want. Anyway, now I have written up my resignation and I am going to give it to my manager tomorrow.

Parents are probably a couple of diehard Tories trying to teach son a lesson on the twin evils of taxation and welfare. "See, our high tax and generous welfare has disincentivised you to work! Society works the same way!"

Shanghaied fucked around with this message at 18:11 on Mar 23, 2024

# ? Mar 23, 2024 18:02

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Shanghaied posted:

WIBTA if I refused to give my parents 25% of my wages?

Parents are probably a couple of diehard Tories trying to teach son a lesson in the Laffer curve and the twin evils of taxation and welfare.

Yes to tories but I imagine they're probably ashamed that one of their children has done something as working class as working rather than trying to teach any actual lesson.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 18:10

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Shanghaied posted:

AITA for sleeping in on my GFs birthday?

YTA, don't agree to host if you can't do it

# ? Mar 23, 2024 18:10

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Shanghaied posted:

WIBTA if I refused to give my parents 25% of my wages?

Parents are probably a couple of diehard Tories trying to teach son a lesson on the twin evils of taxation and welfare. "See, our high tax and generous welfare has disincentivised you to work! Society works the same way!"

YTA, the lesson is your parents are assholes and you should have noticed that way before now.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 18:12

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Vim Fuego posted:

YTA, don't agree to host if you can't do it

Uhh where do you get that from?

quote:

Last week I had to fly out for 5 days on a business trip. They ended up scheduling it on top of her birthday after I agreed to host it. I fought to rework the entire project schedule and got multiple other people to change plans just so I could be back in time for the day of her birthday and then the party the next day.

He flew back 2 days before the day of the party...

# ? Mar 23, 2024 18:18

Blastedhellscape: Jan 1, 2008

The Maroon Hawk posted:

This line woulda had me outta there so fast there�d be a me-shaped cloud left in my place

I *think* he's saying that his ex (who his current girlfriend is starting to remind him of) told him that as their relationship was ending. But it's written in a way that's hard to parse.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 18:38

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Hughlander posted:

AITA to call my brother in law out for copying our honeymoon itinerary for his own holiday ?

Reddit is full of YTA, but I 100% get their point
"We're not travelling at all, well actually we're travelling on your MILs dime doing the exact same thing that you planned only a week earlier so that we win"

It's 100% about the sibling rivalry.

Wow, the brother is a psycho

# ? Mar 23, 2024 18:45

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Could have been worse. Usually in these stories the rear end in a top hat family books the trips to be at the same times and tries to make it a group trip.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 18:47

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

AITA for telling my stepson he is an unchristian spoiled brat?

quote:

I (35 Female) married my husband (38 Male) 10 years ago.

During the time we were dating, my husband�s exwife �Jennifer� (40 Female) dated several guys. About 3 months before we got engaged Jennifer met a man �Chump� (50 Male). They got engaged shortly after us. Chump was a 40 year old virgin (at the time) who made six figures and owned several businesses. She was a mother of 4 (Of those 4 children 2 were my husbands), divorced 2x and was an office manager (after being fired from her bank job for stealing money from elderly people�s bank accounts)

Jennifer was getting child support from her 1st ex for their 2 kids, & child support ($950 a month) from us for his 2 kids. They base the number off moms income and not household income. Their household income was 2x that of our household income. It didn�t matter when we had 2 kids of our own either. We couldn�t afford groceries some months.

We were paying $1,950 a month in �child care� (CS and daycare). My entire monthly check. My husband worked based on commission. We had crap custody so we do not get to see the kids very often. Jennifer refused to communicate unless it was to ask where her check was. So when the kids had events, we were never made aware and were painted as �absent parents.�

As my stepson got older, he started coming over for his weekends less and less and would schedule camps and things during our weeks. While Chump dumped money on him and told everyone he was his son.

Fast forward to yesterday, my stepson�s 18th b day, we get a TikTok notification that stepson has changed his last name from our last name to Chump�s last name with a video of him, Chump & official adoption papers (didn�t realize you could adopt an 18 year old). No calls to my husband or nothing. Just did it and we find out through TikTok .

My husband was devastated. I was furious. I called my stepson and unloaded on him all of the manipulative and ridiculous things that had happened throughout his childhood.

I told him that he needed to grow up and that money spent doesn�t equal more or less love or caring for him. That all he seems to care about is getting a nice trip, or a free car, and that we are sorry we couldn�t financially provide all that for him in our home because we were basically paying his mom to do those things with our child support. I told him he was a spoiled brat just like his mom because the only times he ever made an effort to come over and see us was Christmas and his birthday when he knew he was getting something out of it.

I told him that communication is a two way street and if he felt we didn�t support him when he had sports or band or any other performances, then he could have made sure we knew about it because his mom sure didn�t. Then I said, �and for you wanting to be a children�s minister, you, your mom, and your step dad are some of the most unchristian people I have ever met.� Then I hung up.

Now I feel bad but you can�t put the toothpaste back in the bottle. So AITA?

The resentment, the jealousy, the sheer hate from OP is palpable

# ? Mar 23, 2024 19:00

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITAH for my reaction after finding out my ex cheated on me?

quote:

So i have been with my ex (Lara) for 6 years and we were living together since 3. Our relationship was amazing (to my POV) we were deeply in love, romantic to each other, had arguments even heated but we always solved everything by talking to each other so for real no problems until 2 weeks ago.

Sincerly i noticed a few things that were off like Lara being overprotective with her phone, going in another room while talking with people but since it all started 4 months ago i didn't paid too much attention because she always said that she was preparing a surprise for her bestfriend so i didn't insisted.

Long story short i caught her cheating at my house 2 weeks ago while i came back from work cause i forgot my phone. My reaction wasn't being mad, screaming, shouting or any of this things but i just told the guy to put some clothes on and leave and to Lara that we were over and i wanted to break up immediatly. I said all of this calmly without raising my voice or screaming.

Lara was the one screaming, crying and begging me to forgive her but i just kept saying to pack her stuff and leave my house so after 2 hours of this pathetic show she finally left. That day i went to work later obviously but it wasn't the worst day of my life it was just a bad day like others.

2 days ago i went on a date with another girl and i hope to a second date. (We are planning so hopes are very high hahahah)

My friends and family told me that my reaction was strange cause they expected "more" from me cause i just went on fastly from Lara's cheating like i didn't cared at all about her stating from my calm and cold reaction.

I have a very particulat pov on cheaters and maybe that's why. On my particular case the screaming, shouting, crying, getting angry and mad to me weren't useful at all cause they don't bring me anything of good or they will never relieve my pain and sofference so why doing something that doesn't bring me anything of good. I mean she cheated by her choice, we broke up and that's all. Why i should cry, getting mad or angry because Lara cheated on me? She is just a loser and took the consequences of her actions and to me that's all.

Obviously in this 2 weeks Lara stalked me on my social media and texted me and called me like 100 times but i don't care. I never blocked her and probably would never do cause like i said it didn't bring me anything of good or bad, i'm just indifferent to it. (And a bit because i like to see people humiliating themself hahahah)

So all of this being said AITAH?

Not an English speaker.

Real Pete energy here. I originally miss-read it that it was 2 days after finding the ex was cheating but it was more like 12 days. Either way live your best life stranger.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 19:28

BrideOfUglycat: Oct 30, 2000

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for telling my stepson he is an unchristian spoiled brat?

The resentment, the jealousy, the sheer hate from OP is palpable

True, and while some of it is probably earned over time, she's directing it the wrong way. Honestly, I absolutely despise my husband's ex. She was and still is an abusive, narcissistic piece of poo poo who loved/loves wielding the kids as weapons. We went 4+ years without seeing the kids at all due to parental alienation. I celebrated when child support ended because it was a huge drain on our house's resources and she was going around telling people we weren't paying at all. I absolutely understand and empathize where she's coming from with the son.

But it isn't the son's fault either and now she's reinforced the lessons the mother taught him. Any chance he could recognize what happened is gone now, for at least another decade. She can be angry, and those feelings are absolutely valid, but what she did just added gas to the fire. Nothing's fixed, everything's worse, and nobody is happy except the spiteful ex who got you to torture the kid for her.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 19:47

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for telling my stepson he is an unchristian spoiled brat?

The resentment, the jealousy, the sheer hate from OP is palpable

but what kind of toothpaste comes in bottles

# ? Mar 23, 2024 19:50

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

What did any of that have to do with Christianity again?

# ? Mar 23, 2024 20:09

Elfface: Nov 14, 2010; Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

The son wanted to be a minister for children (Presumably the religious kind, not the politician kind).

To a certain type of person, Christian = good, so a bad person is not Christian enough to be a minister.

Of course, we're only getting OP's side of things, but if that story is them painting themselves in the BEST light...

# ? Mar 23, 2024 20:54

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

Grey Cat posted:

What did any of that have to do with Christianity again?

If anything it sounds a lot like the parable of the vineyard workers

# ? Mar 23, 2024 21:36

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# ? May 30, 2024 04:41

The Diddler: Jun 22, 2006

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for telling my stepson he is an unchristian spoiled brat?

The resentment, the jealousy, the sheer hate from OP is palpable

I looked over this a few times trying to figure out how OP was basically mind controlled into never seeing those kids or whatever and realized that child support ends at 18, right?

I love that so much for OP

# ? Mar 23, 2024 21:46

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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