The Diddler posted:

I looked over this a few times trying to figure out how OP was basically mind controlled into never seeing those kids or whatever and realized that child support ends at 18, right?

I love that so much for OP

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for telling my stepson he is an unchristian spoiled brat?

The resentment, the jealousy, the sheer hate from OP is palpable

quote:

Edit to answer a lot of comments-

Thank you for your reaction. I feel validated. And will be sending this to my ex husband and his awful wife. I am actually the mom in this situation. My son told me what his step mother did yesterday and all her “validating”responses she gave to him. Some of my comments back to you were things I have heard her say in the past, things she has texted me, things I’ve seen on her Facebook, and things I believe she would have responded. Literally nearly every comment I made was some form of an excuse she has used before about something or another.

I sat up all night writing this out fuming about the way she treated my son. What is the most insane about this is that he didn’t actually get adopted. He did change his last name because my husband’s family name was going to die with my husband so he thought it would be a nice surprise and because my husband has offered him his landscaping business and my son wanted to keep it in his stepdads name.

I would like to add that she is a narcissistic person who takes things way out of context and blows them up into some out of control proportion. Most of the things she said about my ex husband are untrue. He has not been an absent father, though because their kids have special needs, he does miss many events and they aren’t super well off, he still always makes an effort to reach out to our son. And while my daughter did call him a spoiled brat because he did stop going over to their house for the summer of his 16th birthday, he realized she was right and started going back over. (He was a 16 year old boy. Sharing one bathroom with 6 people for a week is a lot and he couldn’t have friends over because there wasn’t room.)However, stepmom makes sure to put extra emphasis on the one month he did that.

I don’t think my ex even knows she called him. But thanks to you wonderful people, he will now.

Dear Abby messes up again posted:

DEAR ABBY: My son and his fiancée are getting married next month. They’re calling it an elopement, but although they have been telling everyone when and where the wedding is, they are not formally inviting anyone. I have come to terms with that. I realize the day is about them, not me. However, this is my only child, and I have always dreamed about being part of this milestone in his life.

I’m sure this is his fiancée’s choice and he is just going along with what she wants, but it is hurting me terribly to not be there. They have also decided a reception in their honor will be held six months afterward. Who does this? Is this proper etiquette? -- BROKEN-HEARTED MOTHER

DEAR MOTHER: The rigid rules of etiquette have loosened considerably in recent years. Many younger people prefer the casual over the formal. Please don’t lay the sole blame on your soon-to-be daughter-in-law without first discussing this with your son, because you may be shocked to learn this nontraditional wedding is happening with his enthusiastic blessing. If that’s the case, quietly let go of your “dream.”

As to not being with your son on this special day, if you haven’t received a formal invitation, SHOW UP WITH A SMILE ANYWAY and offer your services as a witness. Those who attend the wedding should be invited to the reception, and if they attend the reception, they should come with a gift in hand.

Hughlander posted:

AITAH for my reaction after finding out my ex cheated on me?


Real Pete energy here. I originally miss-read it that it was 2 days after finding the ex was cheating but it was more like 12 days. Either way live your best life stranger.

Scathach posted:

I know this is like six pages back, but this one has been bothering me. Abbey tells the mother to show up anyway, even though the couple is eloping and not asking for anyone to be involved.

Am I reading this wrong? It sounds like the mom isn't invited at all, and for obvious reasons.

Scathach posted:

I know this is like six pages back, but this one has been bothering me. Abbey tells the mother to show up anyway, even though the couple is eloping and not asking for anyone to be involved.

Am I reading this wrong? It sounds like the mom isn't invited at all, and for obvious reasons.

PancakeTransmission posted:

Already getting a date within 2 weeks is still a bit weird, after a 6 year relationship. Like did you jump on tinder the day after you caught her?

Elviscat posted:

Why wouldn't you?

Elviscat posted:

Why wouldn't you?

Shanghaied posted:

They've been telling everyone the exact time and the place, but didn't "formally" invite anyone

If they really didn't want anyone there they would've kept quiet. The mother in this case is stuck up on the fact that she didn't get a formal invitation and/or it wasn't a traditional wedding. In that case the advice "oh get over yourself, and just go there" is not unreasonable.

DeeplyConcerned posted:

Hyuk hyuk! It's sexy time! Look into the dolls eyes while you gently caress me!

Elviscat posted:

I feel like he's also projecting a lot of his hurt and emotions from an acrimonious divorce on his daughter.

Public schools can provide a fine level of education without the rich-person bullshit of private institutions, though.

kimbo305 posted:

That’s how I read it — the offense taking was all decorum poisoning over it not being a full on wedding with rsvp and pride of place for the parents.

Troublemaker posted:

I agree with both. I think the Dad's major beef with both the ex and the daughter is that they see someone else's success as their own. So he's working his rear end off to give her nice things and she's walking around mocking others for not having those nice things as if she accomplished it herself. By taking her out of the private school where she was getting all kinds of steps up over the kids who don't have those opportunities, she's now on a level playing field with those nonprivileged kids, and she's going to have to work her rear end off just like they do to try to compete with kids like the former her who get everything handed to them. She gets to see what she can accomplish instead of claiming someone else's accomplishments for her own and acting like she did something to deserve it.

Instead, she's got to rely on her own character, and so far she's shown her character is poo poo. If she can pull out of it and get good grades and show some empathy instead of throwing a poo poo fit, I'd consider eventually moving her to another private school, but I wouldn't put her back at the same one with the same lovely friends. And if she's coming from a public school the kids at her new private one might treat her lovely, too, so she gets the bonus of being on the other end of her entitled behavior.

DemoneeHo posted:

Okay i went back and checked on this post again, because op kept responding to comments and defending herself. She was regretful, the courts are biased against the father, or she was only pointing out the ex-wife's family of being hypocritical christians, blah blah blah.

But now she's taking a new tactic and claiming to be the ex-wife, pretending to be the stepmother as a means of validation.

I call bullshit and she's pretending to be the other side because people were making GBS threads on her. That, and her previous posts listed her age of being 35 instead of 40, which is age of the ex-wife.

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

I got up and went to pack a bag.

kimbo305 posted:

That’s how I read it — the offense taking was all decorum poisoning over it not being a full on wedding with rsvp and pride of place for the parents.

Scathach posted:

That's just stupid as hell. God this woman sucks. Her poor kids.

We almost eloped to Vegas because the little person Elvis was priced at half-off so we could afford him. No joke. Our family is lucky we didn't disappear for a week to hang with a bunch of different Elvises instead of inviting them to our yard for a BBQ.

quote:

Names changed to respect privacy and throwaway account.

Honestly no idea where to start with this and sorry if it's long.

I (26f) have been friends with "Carly" (also 26f) since middle school. We lost touch after I moved out of state for law school but our parents are still friends. I moved back to our home state last year when I graduated and met "Matt" (25m). We bonded instantly as we're both studying to be lawyers. Matt should graduate this year if all goes well. Because of studying and work, we've taken things really slowly and only just recently became official.

As we'd gone official, I decided to invite him to my sister's 21st birthday party. It was a huge party at my parent's house back in my home town. Both Matt and I work and live (separately) about an hour away. Wed been at the party for about an hour when Carly arrived with her parents. I was excited to see her as I'd been meaning to get back in touch since I'd moved back. The timing had never been right.

Well, Carly spotted us and hurried on over. I was surprised when she gave Matt a huge hug and asked him what he was doing at the party. Turns out they work in the same building and Matt is friends with a few of Carly's friends. They've been out on group nights together a few times. I did the whole "Oh, Carly this is my boyfriend Matt" thing and her face instantly fell. She looked furious with me and ignored me for the rest of the party.

I sent her a message the next morning asking if I had done anything wrong. Carly blew up at me and accused me of stealing her boyfriend and I soon got several rude messages from mutual friends sat Ng something similar.

I met up with Matt and asked him what the hell was going on. I had assumed that once we'd made it official, we were exclusive. Matt had no idea what I was talking about. I relayed Carly's message and he was even more confused. He said that he got on with Carly when they saw each other but it had never been anything more than a friendship. He didn't think anything of them spending time together outside of work with friends so that's why I didn't know he and Carly worked in the same building.

It's been a week since the party and I'm still getting messages from people 's how I could do that to Carly. I've tried saying over again that Matt and Carly weren't dating but it's falling on deaf ears. Even my parents have heard about from Carly's parents.

I have zero idea the hell to do. Where do I go from here? I trust Matt completely but what do I do about Carly?

Edit: People have asked about the friends who have sent me messages. These are all mutual friends of myself and Carly who we've known since high school. None of them, as far as I know, have ever met Matt. None of his work friends who also know Carly have sent me messages.

Also I have spoken to Carly and we are meeting up tomorrow to talk.

quote:

My wife invited her boss and his wife over for dinner. She's a lawyer and works at a law firm. I was in a good mood so I decided to slice some nice prime rib into 2 inch thick steaks, one for each of us and reverse seared them and then basted in butter with garlic and rosemary. They came over and we all had a good time, but my wife and her bosses wife could only really finish half of their steaks since they were thicc bois. I offered to wrap up the remaining steak that our guest couldn't finish and said she could take it home and slice it for tacos or stir fry or something since it was good quality beef. They seemed cool with it. However, after they left and I handed them the leftover steak, my wife got kind of angry with me and told me that by offering to wrap up leftovers for our guests, I was insinuating that they were cheap and/or poor and couldn't buy steak themselves any time they wanted to and it was insulting. This never crossed my mind whatsoever. I just didn't want to waste good meat. I grew up in a working class home and my wife grew up in more of an upper-middle class environment so I guess there are some upper crust social customs that I'm really not aware of? Anyways, what do you guys think?

quote:

I (26M)have been with my boyfriend (23M)for 4 years now. He is a HUGE fan of Rihanna,Nicki Minaj and Beyonce even claims they saved his life when he was younger and struggling to accept himself due to his family.He struggled with thoughts of offing himself when he was a teenager due to the stress of coming out and his religious family. He never misses a chance to say that had he not discovered these 3 artists he wouldn't be here with us now.

Back-Track to 2022 when it was announced that Rihanna was performing at the superbowl he made plans to buy me and him tickets to go see her.I am not a fan of hers but I do like her music and know some of her hit songs so it wasn't a problem. Money isn't an issue for either of us as we both have really good jobs that pay well. When he bought the tickets I asked why he would waste money on the tickets when we could watch the superbowl at home(He's not even a football fan).He argued that it's his money and he can spend it however he wants,I argued back that he doesn't even like football so why go?He responded that he's seeing the woman he loves perform live and if it means sitting through something he thinks is boring to see her it's all worth it in the end.I digressed and said ok.

In early March he bought Beyonce Renaissance tickets which put together with hotels(It was out of state)food,travel among others he spent 4000 thousand dollars.I again stated my concerns about spending more wisely as i'm frugal and it never hurts me.He again responded with the same "It's my money I spend it how I want" thing.I didn't feel like arguing this time and just said ok.

Now as most people know Nicki Minaj is currently on her tour, and he bought tickets to go see her.He bought the meet and greet package which was like 1k plus the actual tickets (His words not mine).I again blew up on him, and told him his spending habits were insane.Spending thousands of dollars on these people who don't care about him and would not spit on him if he was on fire.He responded and said that "these people took me out of a bad place when I was young. I will spend on them however I please and you can't stop me".I told him that these people did not save his life he's just being dramatic and taking things out of proportion. I also told him maybe he was fake being depressed so that's why it was so easy for these women's music to take him out of a bad time during his life. He just stared at me for 3 minutes not blinking, jaw open. After the 3 minutes he silently walked out our apartment with just his bag,his car keys and his wallet. It's been a week since then and he's not answering my calls. His friend called and told me that i'm an A-hole for saying those things and that i'm an idiot if I think that way.

So AITA?

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for offering to wrap up left over steak that my wife's bosses wife couldn't finish?

AITA for telling my boyfriend that artists can't save her life and she's only wasting his money?

I almost already want to call this one out as fanfiction since aside from the terrible grammar/mistakes, how are you 23 and 'money isn't an issue for you' already to spend so many thousands of dollars on this.

artsy fartsy posted:

Was it Dear Abbey or Ann Landers who used to give out lovely advice, and then backtrack a couple weeks later when people sent in angry responses and talk about self flagellation with a wet noodle?

Like when I was young I never missed those columns and I swear it used to happen all the time. It was mind-blowing how many precious column inches they would devote to saying "wow I really hosed that one up, 30 lashes with a wet noodle for me!"

Why a wet noodle?

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for offering to wrap up left over steak that my wife's bosses wife couldn't finish?

AITA for telling my boyfriend that artists can't save her life and she's only wasting his money?

I almost already want to call this one out as fanfiction since aside from the terrible grammar/mistakes, how are you 23 and 'money isn't an issue for you' already to spend so many thousands of dollars on this.

Mx. posted:

My (26f) friend (26f) has accused me of stealing her boyfriend. Boyfriend (25m) had no idea they were dating

artsy fartsy posted:

Was it Dear Abbey or Ann Landers who used to give out lovely advice, and then backtrack a couple weeks later when people sent in angry responses and talk about self flagellation with a wet noodle?

Like when I was young I never missed those columns and I swear it used to happen all the time. It was mind-blowing how many precious column inches they would devote to saying "wow I really hosed that one up, 30 lashes with a wet noodle for me!"

Why a wet noodle?

Hughlander posted:

Everyone is telling the father that he's overreacting and his literal words is he doesn't care. He just wants to hurt his daughter at this point.

the holy poopacy posted:

Well,

It's hard for me to have a firm opinion about this one because he doesn't really go into details on the extent of the bullying. Is she just a dumb kid that doesn't know any better who needs a wakeup call, or do we need to bring out the Oompa Loompas for a cautionary song after a horrific yet cartoonish industrial accident? I think sitting her down for a long hard talk is definitely a good starting point, but I don't think that pulling her out of school needs to be off the table.

Tomfoolery posted:

Pretty sure you can get 2 Beyonce tickets for less than 4 million dollars??

the holy poopacy posted:

Well,

It's hard for me to have a firm opinion about this one because he doesn't really go into details on the extent of the bullying. Is she just a dumb kid that doesn't know any better who needs a wakeup call, or do we need to bring out the Oompa Loompas for a cautionary song after a horrific yet cartoonish industrial accident? I think sitting her down for a long hard talk is definitely a good starting point, but I don't think that pulling her out of school needs to be off the table.

artsy fartsy posted:

Was it Dear Abbey or Ann Landers who used to give out lovely advice, and then backtrack a couple weeks later when people sent in angry responses and talk about self flagellation with a wet noodle?

Like when I was young I never missed those columns and I swear it used to happen all the time. It was mind-blowing how many precious column inches they would devote to saying "wow I really hosed that one up, 30 lashes with a wet noodle for me!"

Why a wet noodle?

haveblue posted:

/me slaps u around with a large trout

quote:

I (f20) work as a financial dominatrix and I’ve been doing it for about a year now. My boyfriend (m24) and I live together and while he was studying I was paying for most of the bills and expenses. He recently got himself a pretty well paying job and he’d dropped a few hints about me stopping my work which I just figured weren’t really serious.

But last week he had a sit down with me and he told me that since he’s making money now I shouldn’t be working and he was happy to provide but I wasn’t too comfortable with that so I told him that it would still be safe to have two incomes and also that what he makes would be significantly less than what I make so it would have a pretty big impact on our life.

He didn’t take that well and said that I was being unreasonable but i think it just makes sense to have two incomes. He said I should be helping out around the house but I’m the one that does most of the cleaning and cooking so I told him that I didn’t know what else he wanted from me.

But he’s been icy towards me ever since and my friends think I was pretty antagonist to him, saying I make more money than him but it felt like I was talking to him about something he’d already made his mind up about. So AITAH?

quote:

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 50-year-old man, a manager in a field where the majority of staff are women.

Once I catch myself, I become flustered and quickly correct myself to the person I’m speaking with, but I can tell from their reaction and body language that they either feel my lengthy correction is awkward or disingenuous.

How should I handle these situations in the future? Should I try to apologize for my mistake in referring to staff as “girls,” and if so, what would be the best way to do this?

I am working very, very hard to break this horrible habit and do better.

GENTLE READER: Work harder. You learned not to put your hand on a hot stove at a young age and still rose to the level of a manager — this cannot be so very difficult.

If you agree to do that, Miss Manners will tell you how to repair the damage done, which is to apologize with enough sincerity and frequency that you understand your female co-workers’ feelings of humiliation.

trickybiscuits posted: