MLB N/V Spring Training: Aroldis touching the upper 90s again.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > MLB N/V Spring Training: Aroldis touching the upper 90s again.

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Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

First words of his statement are "against the advice of counsel, I have chosen to...." and the feed cuts out

# ? Mar 25, 2024 20:34

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# ? May 29, 2024 15:02

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

Intruder posted:

First words of his statement are "I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith" and the feed cuts out

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:04

bawfuls: Oct 28, 2009

Dinosaurs! posted:

Ippei didn't actually talk to ESPN alone. A crisis PR rep for Ohtani arranged and attended Ippei's disastrous call. That's a 'time to find a new career' move. What the gently caress were they thinking?

yeah he should have been accompanied by an attorney, or more realistically not set up for that interview at all

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:18

tadashi: Feb 20, 2006

STAC Goat posted:

Just discovered second game of the season will be on Apple TV. Now I'm all mad.

Are they continuing to use that incredibly loving stupid statistical system made by people who think sss batter v. pitcher matchup data is a good predictor of future results?

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:19

KICK BAMA KICK: Mar 2, 2009

Guess there is a roster spot for Uncle Jesse after all!
https://x.com/mlbbowman/status/1772349917245088060?s=20

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:22

more falafel please: Feb 26, 2005; forums poster

tadashi posted:

Are they continuing to use that incredibly loving stupid statistical system made by people who think sss batter v. pitcher matchup data is a good predictor of future results?

If you haven't listened to the Effectively Wild episode where they interview the CEO of the company that supplies those odds, you should. It's unhinged and they honestly could have been way more hostile https://blogs.fangraphs.com/effectively-wild-episode-1853-what-are-the-odds/

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:26

Craptacular!: Jul 9, 2001; Fuck the DH

Intruder posted:

First words of his statement are "NO COLLUSION" and the feed cuts out

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:30

MaoistBanker: Sep 11, 2001; For Sound Financial Pranning!

Looks like he packed a bagged bento. Smart.

https://x.com/nasboat/status/1772342034528944341?s=20

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:34

STAC Goat: Mar 12, 2008; Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

tadashi posted:

Are they continuing to use that incredibly loving stupid statistical system made by people who think sss batter v. pitcher matchup data is a good predictor of future results?

Probably. I think I saw one of them in MLB Network last week talking about those dumb stats. The Apple TV broadcasts did at least seem to improve by hiring baseball veterans behind and in front of the camera so it didn�t feel like aliens filming a baseball game last year. But there was still a lot of the silly original stats or product placement. And that weird void pregame.

Mostly I�m just annoyed I�ll have to resubscribe again and look for something to watch to make it feel worthwhile. I was sure it would happen eventually but second game of the season? And 3rd is on Fox!

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:38

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

KICK BAMA KICK posted:

Guess there is a roster spot for Uncle Jesse after all!
https://x.com/mlbbowman/status/1772349917245088060?s=20

Man, if I was being earmarked for the Jasse Chavez role and my name was Jackson Stephens, I would have been pretty worried about my roster security.

STAC Goat posted:

Probably. I think I saw one of them in MLB Network last week talking about those dumb stats. The Apple TV broadcasts did at least seem to improve by hiring baseball veterans behind and in front of the camera so it didn�t feel like aliens filming a baseball game last year. But there was still a lot of the silly original stats or product placement. And that weird void pregame.

Mostly I�m just annoyed I�ll have to resubscribe again and look for something to watch to make it feel worthwhile. I was sure it would happen eventually but second game of the season? And 3rd is on Fox!

Have you watched Severance?

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:41

mdemone: Mar 14, 2001

MaoistBanker posted:

Looks like he packed a bagged bento. Smart.

https://x.com/nasboat/status/1772342034528944341?s=20

Reported for targeted violence on me

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:43

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

Since it's easy to make fun of other people's projections without actually putting your own up, here are the projections of my SUPER SECRET SYSTEM for you all to point and laugh at:

code:

Rays		92	70
Orioles		88	74
Blue Jays	86	76
Yankees		83	79
Red Sox		83	79
		
Twins		86	76
Tigers		82	80
Guardians	76	86
Royals		72	90
White Sox	65	97
		
Astros		89	73
Rangers		87	75
Mariners	85	77
Angels		69	93
Athletics	63	99
		
Braves		93	69
Phillies	83	79
Mets		79	83
Marlins		78	84
Nationals	75	87
		
Cubs		90	72
Brewers		82	80
Reds		82	80
Cardinals	82	80
Pirates		72	90
		
Dodgers		95	67
Padres		84	78
Giants		83	79
Dbacks		79	83
Rockies		67	95

It's gotta be drunk off its rear end to think the NL Central is going to have 4 teams over .500 imo, but that's what THE SYSTEM says.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:51

Popete: Oct 6, 2009; This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs; Grimey Drawer

I see a flaw in your system already cause the Cubs are winning 110 games minimum

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:53

tadashi: Feb 20, 2006

Eric the Mauve posted:

Since it's easy to make fun of other people's projections without actually putting your own up, here are the projections of my SUPER SECRET SYSTEM for you all to point and laugh at:
code:
Rays		92	70
Orioles		88	74
Blue Jays	86	76
Yankees		83	79
Red Sox		83	79
		
Twins		86	76
Tigers		82	80
Guardians	76	86
Royals		72	90
White Sox	65	97
		
Astros		89	73
Rangers		87	75
Mariners	85	77
Angels		69	93
Athletics	63	99
		
Braves		93	69
Phillies	83	79
Mets		79	83
Marlins		78	84
Nationals	75	87
		
Cubs		90	72
Brewers		82	80
Reds		82	80
Cardinals	82	80
Pirates		72	90
		
Dodgers		95	67
Padres		84	78
Giants		83	79
Dbacks		79	83
Rockies		67	95
It's gotta be drunk off its rear end to think the NL Central is going to have 4 teams over .500 imo, but that's what THE SYSTEM says.

Have you looked at the Rays' roster lately?

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:58

STAC Goat: Mar 12, 2008; Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Inspector_666 posted:

Man, if I was being earmarked for the Jasse Chavez role and my name was Jackson Stephens, I would have been pretty worried about my roster security.

Have you watched Severance?

No. But it doesn�t sound like my thing. But I guess I�ll get another chance to try.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:03

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

Eric the Mauve posted:

Since it's easy to make fun of other people's projections without actually putting your own up, here are the projections of my SUPER SECRET SYSTEM for you all to point and laugh at:

It's gotta be drunk off its rear end to think the NL Central is going to have 4 teams over .500 imo, but that's what THE SYSTEM says.

this seems uniformly negative for everyone except the NL central

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:06

Paper Tiger: Jun 17, 2007; 🖨️🐯torn apart by idle hands

Eric the Mauve posted:

Since it's easy to make fun of other people's projections without actually putting your own up, here are the projections of my SUPER SECRET SYSTEM for you all to point and laugh at:
code:
Rays		92	70
Orioles		88	74
Blue Jays	86	76
Yankees		83	79
Red Sox		83	79
		
Twins		86	76
Tigers		82	80
Guardians	76	86
Royals		72	90
White Sox	65	97
		
Astros		89	73
Rangers		87	75
Mariners	85	77
Angels		69	93
Athletics	63	99
		
Braves		93	69
Phillies	83	79
Mets		79	83
Marlins		78	84
Nationals	75	87
		
Cubs		90	72
Brewers		82	80
Reds		82	80
Cardinals	82	80
Pirates		72	90
		
Dodgers		95	67
Padres		84	78
Giants		83	79
Dbacks		79	83
Rockies		67	95
It's gotta be drunk off its rear end to think the NL Central is going to have 4 teams over .500 imo, but that's what THE SYSTEM says.

As an M's fan, the Mariners missing the third wild card by a game makes complete and total sense to me.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:08

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

this seems uniformly negative for everyone except the NL central

Yeah it basically gives 10 wins each to the handful of really terrible teams that lost 100+ games last year, and saps them all out of everyone else. Pretty dumb tbh but I'm excited to see how it stacks up to the ELITE projection systems.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:08

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

Harlock posted:

What a joke

https://twitter.com/Alden_Gonzalez/status/1772315413550088400?s=19

It's hard to answer questions when your thoughts are only about baseball.

...

And gambling.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:09

Poque: Sep 11, 2003; =^-^=

what's the O/U on how long the speech is, in minutes?

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:12

Sydin: Oct 29, 2011; Another spring commute

Poque posted:

what's the O/U on how long the speech is, in minutes?

Well Heyward is back with the Dodgers but it's not currently raining in LA.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:13

Popete: Oct 6, 2009; This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs; Grimey Drawer

Poque posted:

what's the O/U on how long the speech is, in minutes?

*Googles Ohtani's jersey number*

17 minutes exactly

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:14

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Popete posted:

*Googles Ohtani's jersey number*

17

lol it's gonna be less than 5.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:14

Mike_V: Jul 31, 2004; 3/18/2023: Day of the Dorks

cardinals rock https://twitter.com/AldoSoto21/status/1772362689336967631

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:16

Sydin: Oct 29, 2011; Another spring commute

Um, my interpreter made a bet that I guess I paid for that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart I'm so very, very sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith � as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 4�0 ballgame. � I don't know if I'm gonna be putting on this uniform again. I don't know if it's gonna be for the Dodgers, I don't know if it's gonna be for my bosses at Guggenheim Partners. I want to apologize for the people who sign my paycheck � for the Dodgers, for Friedman, for the people I play with, for anybody that my interpreter and I offended here. I can't begin to tell you how deeply sorry I am. That is not who I am. It never has been. And I'd like to think maybe I could have some people ... that could back that up. I am very, very sorry, and I beg for your forgiveness.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:18

mdemone: Mar 14, 2001

90 seconds, two minutes max

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:19

AndrewP: Apr 21, 2010

Eric the Mauve posted:

Since it's easy to make fun of other people's projections without actually putting your own up, here are the projections of my SUPER SECRET SYSTEM for you all to point and laugh at:

[code]
Rays 92 70
Orioles 88 74
Blue Jays 86 76
Yankees 83 79
Red Sox 83 79

congrats on being the first projections to correctly rate the Yankees

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:23

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

mdemone posted:

90 seconds, two minutes max

This.

The more he says, the worse it will be. You don't want to have the feds catch you in a lie. Unless you're name is Rafael Palmeiro.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:26

The Pussy Boss: Nov 2, 2004

https://twitter.com/JMackeyPG/status/1772284955122430051

Paul Skenes will start the season in AAA. Pirates have him on the fast track. Drafted first overall last year, pitched in a couple games in the fall, and the word is he'll be up by July. The hype is off the charts right now.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:27

MrMidnight: Aug 3, 2006

These dudes waiting for a 1 min. "I'm sorry, now who wants to see me hit some dingers?!"
https://x.com/Alden_Gonzalez/status/1772373959222215074?s=20

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:29

Popete: Oct 6, 2009; This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs; Grimey Drawer

I hope he talks about his March Madness bracket picks the whole time

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:31

Bregor: May 31, 2013; People are idiots, Leslie.

The Pussy Boss posted:

Paul Skenes will start the season in AAA. Pirates have him on the fast track. Drafted first overall last year, pitched in a couple games in the fall, and the word is he'll be up by July. The hype is off the charts right now.

Jared Jones is already in the rotation. Between those two and Oneil Cruz it's the first time in a loooooong time I can remember any actual excitement around the Pirates.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:33

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

He's going to take a page out of another MLB legend's playbook and deliver the following speech:

"My name is Shohei Ohtani. I am from Japan. I am JapanEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!!!"

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:34

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

AndrewP posted:

congrats on being the first projections to correctly rate the Yankees

I hate how much I think you're probably right.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:34

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Inspector_666 posted:

I hate how much I think you're probably right.

how the hell am i more bullish on the Yankees than you? lol

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:37

anakha: Sep 16, 2009

Let's see how many of these Ohtani hits in his statement later.

quote:

10 step guide to statement drafting.

1) [Acknowledge media] Thank you for coming out here today.
> Get the people in the direct room to feel less hostile to you.

2) [Apologize for something else] I'd like to apologize for all the fuss.
> Use of apologetic words in other contexts to trigger forgiving psychological state.

3) [Claim ignorance] I'm still not completely sure what happened.
> Preempt detailed inquiry and impress on distance from events.

4) [Third party characterization] It's an unfortunate situation.
> Guide to sympathy while maintaining distance.

5) [Claim tangential element] I was perhaps too trusting.
> Draw sympathy for mistakes anyone could make, with soft implication that this is the extent of your fault.

6) [Promise improvement] I have involved accountants to better monitor my finances.
> You don't want a repeat anymore than others do.

7) [Emphatic denial on headline element] I did not, will not, have not, never have, gambled on baseball.
> This is the part you want quoted. Very firm, concise, precise denial. Remind them that this is what really matters, any other accusations are not important enough to even address.

8) [Pledge cooperation] I will work with the relevant authorities.
> You have nothing to hide, you want them to investigate, it is not a burden on you.

9) [Encourage support] I'd like to thank the Dodgers/fans/family for the outpouring of support.
> Suggest and impress that the number of those that support outnumber those that doubt.

10) [Divert to future.] I'd like to focus on the season...
> Suggest this is dealt with and in the past, it something that can be moved on from.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:37

Popete: Oct 6, 2009; This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs; Grimey Drawer

anakha posted:

Let's see how many of these Ohtani hits in his statement later.

He's going to read that verbatim including the ">" parts

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:39

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# ? May 29, 2024 15:02

FlamingLiberal: Jan 18, 2009; Would you like to play a game?

I found a copy of Ohtani's remarks early

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsH-NB2pREo

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:47

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > MLB N/V Spring Training: Aroldis touching the upper 90s again.

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