Pope Corky the IX posted:

Usually you'd get in trouble for being in possession of a human skull but this one's been grandfathered in.

quote:

Okay so I am a single mom with a 14 year old daughter. We were at the mall last night and I ran into a friend I knew when I was younger (and may or may not have had a brief thing with) and he and I talked for a few minutes and walked away.

My daughter was smiling and asked if I had a crush on him and I said “what do you mean?” and she giggled and said “I saw you looking at his butt.” I guess I got embarrassed and became defensive and I told her not to speak to me like that and it isn’t appropriate for her to be saying things like that. I could see her expression kinda drop and she just looked down and went “sorry…”

AITAH for reacting this way? I kinda feel bad about it but I don’t know if it was wrong of me to respond that way.

quote:

I saw the comments which confirmed what I was thinkin that I was TAH so I got home and my daughter was home and I went up to her and asked if I could have a few minutes of her time, and I told her I was sorry I was so aggressive last night and I got embarrassed and didn’t respond well and hoped she could forgive me. She told me she forgave me and accepted my hug.

Then I told her “but for what it’s worth…I may or may not for a tenth of a second have accidentally glanced in the general direction his butt was in.” and then suddenly her face changed expression and she said “I KNEW IT!!” and excitedly started asking me if we had dated in the past and if I would try to form another connection with him soon.

Honestly, I was SO worried I had messed up to the point where I’d never get that back but I was given a second chance by whatever higher power there is and I’m so so happy. Love my daughter so much and I’m glad she knows she can talk to me about that

Hughlander posted:

AITAH for the way I responded to my daughter asking if I had a crush?

12 hours later...
Update: AITAH for the way I responded to my daughter asking me if I had a crush?

Hughlander posted:

Booooooooooooo

AITAH for the way I responded to my daughter asking if I had a crush?


12 hours later...
Update: AITAH for the way I responded to my daughter asking me if I had a crush?

mystes posted:

The way he describes it is that she gave him a weird look when he asked for a fork and then asked the wife if there was a problem in a way that seems to have been in response to him asking for a fork.

imo either
1) He was weird about how he asked for a fork (like he was intentionally acting like he didn't want to be in a Chinese restaurant)
2) He just asked for a fork normally and she was actually acting snobbish about it as he described, or
3) The way he told the story was so inaccurate it's not worth trying to make sense of it

I don't think it's really possible to distinguish between 1 and 2 just by reading his post, so I don't think it's possible to say whether it's projection or not, but if the sequence of events is anything like what he described it doesn't sound like the question about whether they should have gone to another restaurant was intended neutrally. That's not usually something you would say when someone has just started to eat their food unless there is some specific issue.

quote:

She is people pleaser. Which makes me want to act more like this to balance things out.

Hughlander posted:

AITAH for the way I responded to my daughter asking if I had a crush?


12 hours later...
Update: AITAH for the way I responded to my daughter asking me if I had a crush?

quote:

I (22f) am getting married in 2 months. At our wedding, we have an open bar from when food starts to the end of the evening. The bar has beer, wine, and a specialty cocktail. My husband (23m) and I do not drink much, if ever, because we both take medication. There will be soda and water available as well.

Our wedding has almost 100 guests. Out of our 100 guests, we have some 3 relatives and 2 close friends who are alcoholics. Due to friend/family drama and etiquette, we did not really have the option to not invite these people without there being significant social consequences.

We have a list of those 5 people we plan on giving to our bartender and instructing them not to be served alcohol. All 5 of these people know they have issues with alcohol and have been confronted by their own friends and family before for their drinking habits. These issues include being banned from bars, urinating in their pants due to overdrinking, causing physical fights, inciting screaming matches over something minor, and more. It is not like they just overdrink and need help getting home.

As much as I love these people, they cause significant disruptions when they drink, and I do not want to risk something horrible happening on our wedding day. When talking about this with my friends and other relatives, I got several comments about how we should let them drink a few drinks so they do not feel embarrassed about not having / holding a drink, cut them off after a certain number of drinks, or that I would have a lot of fun at my wedding and not notice them acting poorly if they did. They also said we may get backlash for not allowing them to drink or that they may end up just taking someone else's drinks. They also said that I have already hired security for the event, so it isn't a big deal if they do need to be kicked out.

I told them that I am tired of having to plan ahead for people's addictions and all of them are capable of not drinking alcohol. We have already had to pay $1800 for security just to have 5 people attend and I do not want to pay any more for any incidents they may cause due to drinking. My husband and I have had to consistently take care of alcoholics and deal with the consequences of their abuse and I will not prioritize them over us.

I've been called unempathetic and inconsiderate of their feelings.

Edit: We have spoken to each of their S/O's or family members who have told them not to drink at the wedding. They have not told they would not be served, but all 5 have agreed to not drink.

AITA?

Tobermory posted:

AITA for putting people on a "no drinking" list for my wedding?

Tobermory posted:

AITA for putting people on a "no drinking" list for my wedding?

Shanghaied posted:

You're getting called an rear end in a top hat either way, so I would just not invite these five if you're so worried that you hired security.

DeeplyConcerned posted:

Haha, if you think these ppl are a pain in the rear end with the booze, just wait for the fireworks when the first one gets 86'd

quote:

My (26M) ex girlfriend (25F) went out with some friends last weekend. I usually wait up and pick her up or at least make sure she got to her apartment safe before I go to bed but I had a flu and kept falling in and out of sleep that night.

When I woke up randomly at like 4am, I saw 3 missed calls from her. I called her back and she wasn’t answering. I call her friends and the calls weren’t going through. I started panicking and thinking the worst. I go to her apartment and she isn’t there. I go to the bar she said she would be at but it was closed by the time I got there. It was the worst couple of hours ever. Im quite an anxious person so those few hours were terrible.

At around 1pm that day after I was running around town like a mad man looking for her since 4am, she calls me. She says she slept over at her friends house. She shares the location with me and I go over. She looked like she was in a good mood and just smiling at me. I asked her what the hell happened and why she wasn’t answering my calls, and why she was here. She said she wanted to teach me a lesson about not answering her calls in the middle of the night when she could’ve been in danger, and wanted to scare me a bit so she didn’t answer my calls and asked her friends to block my number.

I felt like a cartoon with steam coming out of its ears. I’ve never felt anger like that in my life. I guess I just didn’t think an adult could be that childish. I didn’t even hesitate in breaking up with her immediately and going home. She was blowing up my phone asking if I was serious and if this is all it took for me to end our otherwise perfect relationship. She’s right about it being nearly perfect but the fact that she was willing to put me through distress to teach me a lesson shows that she isn’t the kind of person I want to be with.

My brothers are saying what she did wasn’t cool but I’m overreacting by breaking up with her. AITAH?

AceClown posted:

AmiYumi posted:

"Neither of us drink, and our families are packed with full-blown alcoholics we insist on inviting.

The wedding will have an open bar.

We are very smart."

quote:

I f 30 am marrying my fiance 29 m in two month. I have 3 siblings 25m(sam), 37f(sara) and 42m(jake) . My mom got pregnant at 18 and gave birth to my eldest brother Jake . Jake and I are half siblings. Due to our age gape I never really bounded with my eldest brother. When I was 6 years old he went to college.

He used to call mom and dad(his stepdad) regularly to ask about me and my other siblings . But that's it nothing more than just normal "how are you" and "what are you doing" we never really hung out with him . Only my sister Sara was close to him , they used to talk alot , unlike me and sam. When ever he visited us he used to bring chocolates and gifts for us . And take me and my other siblings to lunch and dinner . As I grew up we started to drift apart. On there other hand I have very good relationship with my other siblings. Currently I and jake only talk like once month .

Now to the main issue, I am getting married to the love of my life . And we have planned a small wedding nothing big or extravagant . We are saving for a home and honeymoon. Since it is a small wedding both of us have decided to only invite close friends and family members. I have invited 4 friends and mom , dad , Sara, Sam, my grandmother form father side (only grandparent alive) . When I broke this new to the family all hell broke lose . I was expecting my mom to to be upset that I didn't invite my brother but almost everyone was upset including Sam which I didn't expect.

So turns out Sam wanted to become a software engineer and jake was a software engineer . For that reason he and jake started to talk more and jake guided Sam in his journey of becoming a software engineer . I on the other hand am lawyer. I didn't knew they reconnected .

All of them are saying I cannot do this to jake and he is also family. I have talked to jake and he said he is fine with not being invited but would appreciate if I reconsidered my decision as I was invited to his wedding .

My fiance is fine with inviting jake but I think only people who should be part of wedding are the once who love you and care about .

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

r/relationships: due to our age gape

AmiYumi posted:

"Neither of us drink, and our families are packed with full-blown alcoholics we insist on inviting.

The wedding will have an open bar.

We are very smart."

AmiYumi posted:

"Neither of us drink, and our families are packed with full-blown alcoholics we insist on inviting.

The wedding will have an open bar.

We are very smart."

Clark Nova posted:

lol wasn't there one a few months ago where the couple announced the wedding wouldn't have a bar and nobody wanted to go?

efb

Clark Nova posted:

lol wasn't there one a few months ago where the couple announced the wedding wouldn't have a bar and nobody wanted to go?

efb

DemoneeHo posted:

I think the open bar wedding op shouldn't have an open bar and invite the problematic alcoholics at the same time. Either don't invite them or switch to a cash bar.

They can cut down on the amount of drinking among the 100 guests with a cash bar.

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

r/relationships: due to our age gape

DemoneeHo posted:

[b]AITA for not inviting my eldest brother to my wedding.[/b

quote:

He used to call mom and dad(his stepdad) regularly to ask about me and my other siblings . But that's it nothing more than just normal "how are you" and "what are you doing" we never really hung out with him . Only my sister Sara was close to him , they used to talk alot , unlike me and sam. When ever he visited us he used to bring chocolates and gifts for us . And take me and my other siblings to lunch and dinner . As I grew up we started to drift apart. On there other hand I have very good relationship with my other siblings. Currently I and jake only talk like once month .

AnoHito posted:

Iirc, that couple also lied about it until after everyone had already arranged rides/hotel rooms, and had a bit on the schedule labeled "cocktail hour," so the guests were understandably a bit annoyed.

Clark Nova posted:

Yeah, that was it. I'd be mad as hell about a surprise mormon wedding myself

Shanghaied posted:

Also OP writes terribly for a lawyer.

quote:

My gf (27F) is hounding me constantly about how we do not spend enough time together, for a short preface on that we live together, make dinner every night together, and on weekends we spend the entirety of them together doing various activities such as brewery tours, visiting her parents, date nights, concerts etc.

I get up at 5am for work and don’t get home until about 4:30pm I commonly fall asleep at 8pm (at that point I’ve been awake for 15 hours). She’s told me she feels that she is “alone” more often than not and has cried multiple times at night because I’m falling asleep early. I’ve gone and spent thousands having this looked into and the better part of our 1 year relationship. I’ve been to the chiropractor, seen 2 different ear nose and throat doctors and have tried countless over the counter remedies to no avail. AITA?

Tl;dr gf says we spend no time together and I’m contemplating breaking up with her because of it

Kurieg posted:

Yeah it sounds like she resents him for going to college and being older than her, despite him making every effort to make and maintain a connection, she's the one who checked out at the age of loving six.

Shanghaied posted:

Did she even really check out? They talk monthly. I don't have siblings, but some of my friends talk to their sibling less often than once a month, and I don't hear them complaining about not being close to their siblings. Adults have poo poo going on in their lives, and it can be hard to stay in touch especially when you live in different places. I have people that I consider good friends (and I hope the feeling is mutual) that I talk to less often - you get together maybe a couple of times a year when you're in the same place, but otherwise only call/text/email each other occasionally.

I don't know, it just sounds weird to me.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

It’s already been changed you oaf.

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for not inviting my eldest brother to my wedding.

quote:

I told them that I am tired of having to plan ahead for people's addictions and all of them are capable of not drinking alcohol.

DoubleNegative posted:

quote:

I’ve gone and spent thousands having this looked into and the better part of our 1 year relationship. I’ve been to the chiropractor, seen 2 different ear nose and throat doctors and have tried countless over the counter remedies to no avail.