Willatron posted:

I really love WH40k lore. The books, video games, some of the animated shows from Warhammer TV I've seen, all really excellent fun stuff I really dig. I'm super pumped to see how the Amazon cinematic stuff Cavill is working on turns out.

I have tried and simply cannot get into the tabletop aspect that birthed the whole franchise because inevitably I will encounter the people who are loving weirdos or assholes about it and I can go without. Also tabletop games are kind of boring to me.

Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

In any of the 40k lore, any of the books or whatever, does anyone ever cuddle another character? Maybe a tender smooch?

Gripweed posted:

Yeah the Fantasy model range was half their product range but allegedly was about 10% of their sales.

And they've just recently brought back Fantasy as The Old World, in all it's generic glory. But with a lower level of support, basically treating it as a niche game for super nerds.

Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

In any of the 40k lore, any of the books or whatever, does anyone ever cuddle another character? Maybe a tender smooch?

Disco Pope posted:

My last hurrah for Warhammer is when I got invited over to a guy from Schools house to play but they hid my bully in a cupboard and they beat the poo poo out of me and threw my skavens in the river.

Disco Pope posted:

I got banned temporarily from my local GW because the manager was a STEMlord and I asked him what the hottest part of The Sun was, and when he responded with science poo poo I told him he was wrong and it was Page 3.

Cornwind Evil posted:

Seriously?

It took me looking up what a STEMlord is, but I got it. What a humourless prick.

Gripweed posted:

Humans have lived there for a long time, they just haven't had much model representation until recently. Basically, there was a time when all the non-Chaos god worked together and they recreated their mortal followers to live in the Mortal Realms and everything was basically OK. This was the Age of Myth. Then Chaos came raring back, the Age of Chaos started, and the mortal followers of the other gods either died, switched to Chaos, hid where they could, or fled to the Realm of Heaven, Azyr, the last stronghold of Order. Then Sigmar invented the Stormcast Eternals to be his ultimate warriors to lead a reconguista of the Mortal Realms. In their wake came crusades of mortals from Azyr who set up new cities in the Realms. This is the titular Age of Sigmar.

The problem is there isn't a really good on ramp. I'd say the best AoS novel I've read is Gloomspite. It's a fun little fantasy horror story and does a great job selling the Bad Moon as this absolute nightmare thing you don't ever want to see rise over your home. The other AoS novels I've read fall on the spectrum from bad to OK.

Honestly the best AoS thing I've read was the Sons of Behemat Battletome. Sons of Behemat being the giants, and Battletome being what AoS calls Codexes. Like in normal Codexes it gives you an overview of the guys and a history of notable military campaigns, but because it's giants it reads like a collection of fables. Notable military campaigns for the Sons of Behemat are typically stuff like, a giant slept in the way of an army and they woke him up and they had a big fight, or two giants got into an argument about who could throw further and in demonstrating their throwing abilities destroyed a human city one throwable building at a time.

There's no really great onramp, no AoS equivalent of Eisenhorn or Gaunt's Ghosts. But if you're interested definitely give Gloomspite a chance. And maybe Court of the Blind King if you are into elves who suck.

Disco Pope posted:

I got banned temporarily from my local GW because the manager was a STEMlord and I asked him what the hottest part of The Sun was, and when he responded with science poo poo I told him he was wrong and it was Page 3.

Vampire Panties posted:

IIRC Space Marines have been intimate with women

IIRC but also its canon that they smell terrible

quote:

Keeler sighed and looked up from her work. ‘The what?’

‘The sweat, dear Euphrati, the sweat! I have been observing the Astartes. Very big, aren’t they? I mean to say, very big in every measurement by which one might quantify a man.’ ‘They’re Astartes, Ignace. What did you expect?’ ‘Not sweat, that’s what. Not such a rank, pervasive reek. They are our immortal champions, after all. I expected them to smell rather better. Fragrant, like young gods.’ ‘Ignace, I have no clue how you got certified.’ Karkasy grinned. ‘Because of the beauty of my lyric, my dear, because of my mastery of words. Although that might be found wanting here. How may I begin…?

‘The Astartes save us from the brink, the brink,

But oh my life how they stink, they stink.’

bob dobbs is dead posted:

like, the newspaper w titties

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

In any of the 40k lore, any of the books or whatever, does anyone ever cuddle another character? Maybe a tender smooch?

naem posted:

my 40k group were a bunch of hipstery college students who were playing it semi-ironically at first but who then got way too into it and arguments over the terrible rules helped fracture the friend group

which was a shame because several of them had wealthy-ish parents who had pool tables in the basement and unused pool tables are the perfect army man substrate

Froghammer posted:

The setting is shockingly sexless beyond a handful of hookups.

I had an ex that asked me to explain 40k lore and when I got to the part where The Emperor decided to clone himself twenty times I mentioned that it's a weird impulse. She quipped, "No, it's a way to tell a story about a family without involving a single woman" and I immediately needed to sit down.

Froghammer posted:

The setting is shockingly sexless beyond a handful of hookups.

I had an ex that asked me to explain 40k lore and when I got to the part where The Emperor decided to clone himself twenty times I mentioned that it's a weird impulse. She quipped, "No, it's a way to tell a story about a family without involving a single woman" and I immediately needed to sit down.

Froghammer posted:

The setting is shockingly sexless beyond a handful of hookups.

I had an ex that asked me to explain 40k lore and when I got to the part where The Emperor decided to clone himself twenty times I mentioned that it's a weird impulse. She quipped, "No, it's a way to tell a story about a family without involving a single woman" and I immediately needed to sit down.

Captain Invictus posted:

wasn't there a bit in the really old books about how the emperor was like, constantly fuckin', like every planet he went to he was getting it on with the locals, which resulted in dozens if not hundreds of literal emperor's children in the galaxy and then there was some secret society tasked with hunting them all down

Captain Invictus posted:

wasn't there a bit in the really old books about how the emperor was like, constantly fuckin', like every planet he went to he was getting it on with the locals, which resulted in dozens if not hundreds of literal emperor's children in the galaxy and then there was some secret society tasked with hunting them all down

Cornwind Evil posted:

The Emperor has a Text To Speech Device basically says this is true, but that the Emperor was such a godly being that it seemed like all the women he was with died. I suspect the maker, in trying to make the Emperor more 'personable', had to dance around the concept of 'Yeah he somehow hosed a bunch of women to death, somehow', no details on the exact reasons (Text Emperor says "It was all willing, I never forced myself", but even SO, if they all DIED to his knowledge...) It could be that the act was fine but being exposed to 'raw Emperor' was akin to radiation poisoning or something.

Something that just popped into my head: okay so the Primarchs are his 20 clone sons, Chaos scattered them all over the universe which led to them having the wide range of upbringings that set up the Heresy...did they ever explain HOW they did that? Were all 20 in some sort of nursery and the Chaos gods popped in and gleefully chucked all the infants into random Warp portals before spray painting CHAOS ROOLZ ANATHEMA DROOLZ on the wall and leaving?

Cornwind Evil posted:

The Emperor has a Text To Speech Device basically says this is true, but that the Emperor was such a godly being that it seemed like all the women he was with died. I suspect the maker, in trying to make the Emperor more 'personable', had to dance around the concept of 'Yeah he somehow hosed a bunch of women to death, somehow', no details on the exact reasons (Text Emperor says "It was all willing, I never forced myself", but even SO, if they all DIED to his knowledge...) It could be that the act was fine but being exposed to 'raw Emperor' was akin to radiation poisoning or something.

Something that just popped into my head: okay so the Primarchs are his 20 clone sons, Chaos scattered them all over the universe which led to them having the wide range of upbringings that set up the Heresy...did they ever explain HOW they did that? Were all 20 in some sort of nursery and the Chaos gods popped in and gleefully chucked all the infants into random Warp portals before spray painting CHAOS ROOLZ ANATHEMA DROOLZ on the wall and leaving?

ninjoatse.cx posted:

WH40K is an awesome setting with just the worst writers.