The Cursed Images Thread: A Dilbert themed ethics game created by Lockheed Martin

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Nigmaetcetera: Nov 17, 2004; borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins

Captain Hygiene posted:

They're great, we used to go to the beach every year when I was a kid, and occasionally going out at night and seeing a whole horde of them come on shore was really cool. I thought I'd be scared of them, but they're just a bunch of gentle crawly guys.

Gentle crawly guys that eat dead sailors!*

*i do not care if this is not true, i choose to believe they eat primarily human corpses

# ? Apr 6, 2024 00:37

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 23:26

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

Canada produces upwards of 170,000 metric tons of mustard seed annually. I love mustard.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 01:11

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Nigmaetcetera posted:

Gentle crawly guys that eat dead sailors!*

*i do not care if this is not true, i choose to believe they eat primarily human corpses

I've eaten my share of crab corpses, so I bear them no ill will

# ? Apr 6, 2024 01:27

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Nigmaetcetera posted:

I had a preserved horseshoe crab on my wall when I was a kid and it was the happiest day of my life when it fell off the wall and broke in half and my parents threw it away.

cursed post

# ? Apr 6, 2024 01:28

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Cocaine Bear posted:

Canada produces upwards of 170,000 metric tons of dead sailor corpses annually. I being a horseshoe crab, love dead sailor corpses.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 01:39

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Nigmaetcetera posted:

Gentle crawly guys that eat dead sailors!*

*i do not care if this is not true, i choose to believe they eat primarily human corpses

And you know where the souls of dead sailors go, right? They inhabit the bodies of seagulls. You heard it here.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 01:50

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

And you know where the souls of dead sailors go, right? They inhabit the bodies of seagulls. You heard it here.

That's why you don't ever want to leave your ship with out crew while seagulls are about, they can and will steal it and so once again they can go sailing the seas.

Also it's just so much easier to catch fish when you a have your own ship with a bunch of fish nets. Those gulls that stole one of those massive fishing trawler that one time got reallll fat.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 01:55

R.L. Stine: Oct 19, 2007; welcome to dead gay dog house

there's a job in the navy to kill seagulls with a big special gun. you have to put the bodies in an ancient box from egypt or they will come back

# ? Apr 6, 2024 02:05

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

My rating / rate is Seaguller First Class

# ? Apr 6, 2024 02:07

Stocky Manhood: Jul 29, 2014; Can I get a hat wobble?

Blue Moonlight posted:

Is 100% Canadian tomatoes a selling point?

When I think of ideal places to grow tomatoes, I don’t think of Canada.

EDIT: This is where someone rolls in with some link to tomatofarmersofcanada.org or something that shows that actually, Canada is the #2 producer of tomatoes and has celebrated, award-winning varietals.

It's nice to eat locally produced food, so they use that as a selling point

# ? Apr 6, 2024 02:18

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

Scratch Monkey posted:

Her face says that she lost a bet

# ? Apr 6, 2024 03:17

Takes No Damage: Nov 20, 2004; The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.; Grimey Drawer

R.L. Stine posted:

there's a job in the navy to kill seagulls with a big special gun. you have to put the bodies in an ancient box from egypt or they will come back

# ? Apr 6, 2024 03:25

ZixTheYeti: Jul 12, 2005; Hellarious!

R.L. Stine posted:

there's a job in the navy to kill seagulls with a big special gun. you have to put the bodies in an ancient box from egypt or they will come back

Sounds like a good story, Mr. Stine.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 03:28

History Comes Inside!: Nov 20, 2004

The best crabs are the Japanese ones with the naturally occurring angry faces on their shells

# ? Apr 6, 2024 03:35

TrashMammal: Nov 10, 2022

are they tasty?

# ? Apr 6, 2024 03:36

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

History Comes Inside! posted:

The best crabs are the Japanese ones with the naturally occurring angry faces on their shells

I found a whole house of those in Ocarina of Time.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 03:37

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

PainterofCrap posted:

Her face says that she lost a bet

Her face says she knows exactly who this pic is for.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 03:48

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

R.L. Stine posted:

there's a job in the navy to kill seagulls with a big special gun. you have to put the bodies in an ancient box from egypt or they will come back

DO NOT confuse swans with seagulls, if you kill a swan a mystical curse will be placed on your vessel, and it will meet a tragic fate and sink to Davy Jones' locker.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 04:01

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Elviscat posted:

DO NOT confuse swans with seagulls, if you kill a swan a mystical curse will be placed on your vessel, and it will meet a tragic fate and sink to Davy Jones' locker.

Also if you just accidently just killed Zeus at least some of the Greek pantheon will probably also be pretty mad at you.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 05:03

Stunning Honky: Sep 7, 2004; " . . . "

Remember Sailor

# ? Apr 6, 2024 05:44

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

R.L. Stine posted:

there's a job in the navy to kill seagulls with a big special gun. you have to put the bodies in an ancient box from egypt or they will come back

Sounds like it�s time for a rate change.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 05:56

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

And you know where the souls of dead sailors go, right? They inhabit the bodies of seagulls. You heard it here.

Seagulls are bastards! I had a seagull try multiple times to steal a slice of pizza from my hands.

Although to be fair, this was in Frankston, so the gull was probably on heroin

# ? Apr 6, 2024 08:11

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

And you know where the souls of dead sailors go, right? They inhabit the bodies of seagulls. You heard it here.

Thank you, morrow morn I will rise a sadder and a wiser man

# ? Apr 6, 2024 09:07

Takes No Damage: Nov 20, 2004; The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.; Grimey Drawer

steinrokkan posted:

Thank you, morrow morn I will rise a sadder and a wiser man

*nods Iron Maidenishly, some combination of :hmmyes:

and

# ? Apr 6, 2024 09:40

Drone_Fragger: May 9, 2007

Horse shoe crabs want one thing only: friendly head boops.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 09:50

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Can't post for 6 hours!; Soiled Meat

Nigmaetcetera posted:

I had a preserved horseshoe crab on my wall when I was a kid and it was the happiest day of my life when it fell off the wall and broke in half and my parents threw it away.

Because you had developed deniable aim?

# ? Apr 6, 2024 10:41

Butterfly Valley: Apr 19, 2007; I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 13:48

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

I hope all the employees remembered to punch in the boss' nuts.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 13:55

Detheros: Apr 11, 2010; I want to die.

Butterfly Valley posted:

# ? Apr 6, 2024 13:58

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

Butterfly Valley posted:

# ? Apr 6, 2024 14:12

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

go back far enough and you'll find some ancient Greeks complain about how lazy their slaves are.
Rich assholes never change.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 15:05

Kit Walker: Jul 10, 2010; "The Man Who Cannot Deadlift"

Cartoon Man posted:

drat, 130 years of laziness. No wonder this country's falling apart

# ? Apr 6, 2024 16:14

Catastrophe: Oct 5, 2007; Committed to burn twice as long and half as bright

Butterfly Valley posted:

I've worked in such an environment before. I've posted about it here, previously, but it was a job where we had an hour removed from our pay per day for "lunch" but were repeatedly instructed that we were not actually allowed to take time away from work for lunch. Mandatory overtime with threats of getting fired if we didn't obey but no pay for that time. That sort of place. My boss was actually blindsided and surprised when I finally told him I was getting the hell out of there.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 16:21

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Judging about by the length of each complaint, the people complaining in 2022 are the laziest complainers, as all others could be bothered to use at least six words to complain but in 2022 they could only be bothered with five.

No one want's to complain lengthy anymore!!!

The complainer with the best work ethic was 2014 with a 34 word complaint. How lazy complainers have got in the last eight years. what ever happened to work ethic.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 16:27

TEMPLE GRANDIN OS: Dec 10, 2003; ...blyat

Catastrophe posted:

I've worked in such an environment before. I've posted about it here, previously, but it was a job where we had an hour removed from our pay per day for "lunch" but were repeatedly instructed that we were not actually allowed to take time away from work for lunch. Mandatory overtime with threats of getting fired if we didn't obey but no pay for that time. That sort of place. My boss was actually blindsided and surprised when I finally told him I was getting the hell out of there.

lol

# ? Apr 6, 2024 17:26

I. M. Gei: Jun 26, 2005; CHIEFS

BITCH

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna commit time clock fraud.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 20:03

Detective Thompson: Nov 9, 2007; Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. is also in repose.

Everyone should commit time clock fraud. gently caress whoever I work for, I'm gonna take a long dump whenever I need to. making GBS threads on the company's dime is not only fun, I think it's imperative for the working class.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 20:20